THR Emotional mess

[Diamond77]

Hello everyone. I’m having a right THR on April 14. It’s just about 1:00 am where I’m at and my mind won’t stop spinning. I question if this is the right thing to do all the time, but I am a mother to two young boys and I haven’t been anything but a grumpy jerk to them for the longest time. Twingy pain started a couple years ago and last summer it got bad enough where I went to a doctor and was diagnosed with a labral tear and like 4 other things wrong with my hip. The root cause of it all is hip dysplasia. Things rapidly have gone down hill starting in November. My emotions are all over the place especially because the left side now seems to be deteriorating faster than the right. My family (husband too) is getting so tired of me being irritable because of this pain. But I tell you what….it’s the worst! And I’m lying here awake dreading that I’m going to have to soon give up my diclofenac nsaid before surgery. How I will bear no meds aside from Tylenol (which has never seemed to do much for me)….it’s beyond me. And I worry about every single other thing. Like the leg length difference, the staples, etc etc etc. I know all of you understand. Just having a big old pity party for myself here in the middle of the night!

 

[djklaugh]

@Diamond77 Welcome to BoneSmart! Those middle of the night scary thoughts are just awful especially when accompanied by pain! Everyone has doubts and nervousness before surgery!!! And yes the week(s) of no meds before a hip replacement can be grueling. But I think you will find that once the surgery is over the kind of pain you have now will be gone. Oh there will be pain from the incision and healing tissues but that is controllable with medications. And with some patience and rest you and your family will see that this really is a life changing surgery!

Here are some articles for you to read to answer some of your questions and while away the time until you can fall asleep.

Since you are at the stage where you are planning to have surgery but are looking for information so you can be better prepared for what is to come, take a look at these links:


Recovery Aids: A comprehensive list for hospital and home
Recliner Chairs: Things you need to know if buying one for your recovery
Pre-Op Interviews: What's involved?

And if you want to picture what your life might be like with a replaced hip, take a look at the posts and threads in stories of amazing hip recoveries

And for after the surgery:


Hip Recovery: The Guidelines
1. Don’t worry: Your body will heal all by itself. Relax, let it, don't try and hurry it, don’t worry about any symptoms now, they are almost certainly temporary.

2. Control discomfort:

rest
elevate
ice
take your pain meds by prescription schedule (not when pain starts!)
3. Do what you want to do BUT

a. If it hurts, don't do it and don't allow anyone - especially a physical therapist - to do it to you
b. If your leg swells more or gets stiffer in the 24 hours after doing it, don't do it again.
4. PT or exercise can be useful BUT take note of these

BoneSmart philosophy for sensible post op therapy
5. At week 4 and after you should follow this

Activity progression for THRs
6. Access these pages on the website

Oral And Intravenous Pain Medications
Wound Care In Hospital

The Recovery articles:

Pain management and the pain chart
Healing: how long does it take?
Chart representation of THR recovery

Dislocation risk and 90 degree rule
Energy drain for THRs
Pain and swelling control: elevation is the key

Post op blues is a reality - be prepared for it
Myth busting: on getting addicted to pain meds
Sleep deprivation is pretty much inevitable - but what causes it?

BIG TIP: Hips actually don't need any exercise to get better. They do a pretty good job of it all on their own if given half a chance. Trouble is, people don't give them a chance and end up with all sorts of aches and pains and sore spots. All they need is the best therapy which is walking and even then not to excess.

We try to keep the forum a positive and safe place for our members to talk about their questions or concerns and to report successes with their joint replacement surgery.

 

[Klassy]

I’m so sorry to read this. I have had my own pity parties, as I think most of us on here have.

You have found a great site, with lots of useful information and support.

My own small tips are: everything feels worse in the small hours. Keep reminding yourself, this will pass. And, the anxiety is worst before the op. Not to mention the arthritis pain. You are doing the right thing, OA doesn’t go away. Get the hip(s) fixed and get on with your life.

Not too long to go now. I look forward to welcoming you to the happy side.

 

[Mojo333]

Your thread title describes me pre-op perfectly.
Sleep deprivation alone made me buggy, tearful, and snappy not to mention the chronic pain.

No medication helped much at that point, so I tried to wash out my system of them to prepare for surgery and resigned myself to laying on a heating pad (Small comfort)
and was so ready to be fixed, I was hardly nervous until my last pre-op.
Hope the days don't creep and you can look forward to getting well!

 

[Going4fun]

Sorry to hear about the pain and the last-minute nerves that are undermining your confidence about going forward.

What you are experiencing is normal and typical. It is a bit of a leap to decide on the surgery, but that leap is far far far far less risky than continuing on without the surgery. Already you say the surgery is interfering with your family relationships, your sleep and your overall wellbeing. That's a high price.

Here's the thing: the longer we put off surgery the more we normalize misery. Your decision to go forward with the surgery is just shocking the part of you that has normalized ongoing pain, bad moon, irritability. Your imagination that things really CAN be better, way better, is just shy and disbelieving at this point.

But go ahead and let yourself imagine: you can get rid of that pain. And you'll be amazed at what life feels like without pain.

Do you like your surgeon? You basically have to trust the surgeon on the details. Surgeons have a long detailed protocol on all the issues you're worried about. You don't need to worry about those details.

You can call your surgeon's office and express your fears. My surgeon's assistant calmed me down several days before surgery. Surgeons' offices expect calls from nervous patients. It's part of their job to calm your nerves. Won't be the surgeon. It'll be a staffer or a nurse or PA. But those folks often have better people skills than the surgeon.

 

[subie2021]

Diamond77,

Most if not all of us can relate. I hope you can find comfort here, and if you need to vent this is the best place in the world to do it.

You've received great advice above. You should talk to your surgeon or his representative in the office about managing pain pre-op. They might give you some leeway on dosages and the length of time you need to abstain from your regular meds. For example Tylenol might not be enough at the dosage on the bottle, but can be more effective at the maximum dose your doctor approves for you.

Your surgeon might have on staff a patient advocate or some such.
This person can help with all sorts of things and be a better hand-holder than the surgeon is. I met with mine shortly before my operation day, and she helped to arrange and manage a lot for me.

Best wishes for successful surgery and a seamless recovery. Looking forward to seeing you on the bright side.

 

[CricketHip]

I remember those nights before my surgery, every single doubt and worry that could crop up, did.
I used copious amounts of ice packs and watched easy to watch re-runs of things like The Golden Girls. For some reason the short duration of each episode plus the gentle music helped to lull me to sleep. Don't laugh but the Weather Station was soothing, too.

Then I began to practice gratitude, for finding a great surgeon, having health insurance, my overall health and whatever else I could grab onto. That helped me so much! There are great meditation videos on youtube which can help you get started.
Well, that is what helped me.
I hope the next week passes gently and easily for you.

 

[Diamond77]

Do you like your surgeon? You basically have to trust the surgeon on the details. Surgeons have a long detailed protocol on all the issues you're worried about. You don't need to worry about those details.

Yes, I do like and trust him. At my last appointment I started to tune out the things he said though. My husband listened well and reminds me. It’s a very good point you make that I don’t need to worry about these things and let my surgeon do all of that. Thank you.

 

[Diamond77]

Then I began to practice gratitude, for finding a great surgeon, having health insurance, my overall health and whatever else I could grab onto. That helped me so much! There are great meditation videos on youtube which can help you get started.

I love this. You are so right, gratitude is the way to go. I have so much and a wonderful family who is going to help me with everything. Thank you for making me change my perspective a little bit!

 

[Diamond77]

You all have some great advice and tips to share, and I appreciate it very much. Has anyone actually had a leg length difference that was very noticeable after time? I’m expecting (kind of) that to happen at first, but it does concern me long term. I’m not a shoe person - I love going barefoot or wearing sandals/flip flops in the summer, and around the house in winter I just wear socks. Shoe lifts do not sound exciting in the least.

 

[Klassy]

I had the sensation of the operated leg being longer after both replacements. I was warned beforehand, and reassured after Hip 1 that this was a very normal feeling, but only a feeling, and would pass. It did. The sensation is still there a little bit in Leg 2, but diminishing steadily and I am confident it will pass too.

I had two different surgeons due to moving house between replacements. Both were perfectionists about achieving equal leg length. I imagine your surgeon would be the same.

So please, don’t worry about it. Sandal summer, here we come!

 

[PolarIce]

Welcome to the forum!
You know all your fears are normal ones to have. If anyone tells you that they didn't have similar fears, they are lying to you
It is a big surgery, and I think all of us had the things we all questioned. You are completely normal, trust me. I will let you know, that I am now 2 months post op and have just been diagnosed with LLD(leg length difference), and it really doesn't matter. When I look at the pain I was in before, and the hundreds of things that were affecting my life before of the bad hip, the leg length issue was so easy to fix! insole in the shoe and boom done! I don't even think about it, because it's no longer an issue.
I was also a hip dysplasia baby which has led to me getting that new hip 2 months ago at 36 yrs old. BEST DECISION I HAVE EVER MADE. Oh man what a life changer. I wish it could have been done sooner because I really suffered for a long time. I have no idea how you've survived with 2 young children. I admire you for that! The hip replacement will be a walk in the park my dear. Trust me, organize a party in celebration to your upcoming BIRTHDAY/CHRISTMAS PRESENT! woohoo!!!

 

[Diamond77]

You are so kind. Yes, it really has been a struggle surviving this with my kids. They are the sweetest boys and they’ve got a monster mommy right now who doesn’t want to play. In fact, CAN’T play. Getting down on the floor to play cars or games or just doing anything besides parking myself on the couch is out of the question. I’m so glad to hear all of these positive comments and reassurances. I know this is going to better my life and therefore my sons’ lives as well. And my poor husband too.

I’m glad the LLD seems to be a non issue for you. You really describe it so well when you say your bad hip was affecting hundreds of things. I couldn’t agree more. There are so many little things that add up! Going up a simple curb in a parking lot hurts. Having to get the mail hurts. Moving in bed hurts! It’s ridiculous. I’m so happy to hear it was the best decision you made. You must be so happy to be rid of that pain.

 

[PolarIce]

Yes I am definitely super happy. I really don't even think about it really. What I do do though, is come here to help give information based on my experience and be a support as well as I can. I remember being in your exact shoes full of uncertainty and stressed-worried about the unknown. Once you come out on the other side it is such a relief, because you then realize that you really stressed yourself out a lot more than you needed to.

Compared to what you are going through now, the recovery will be a breeze. The week can be a little tough for some people, but is SO WORTH IT and it within a few days you will feel so much better.

There is nothing like waking up with zero hip pain.

 

[Layla]

Hello @Diamond77 Welcome to BoneSmart, thanks for joining us.
My heart goes out to you. I’m sorry you’re feeling the way you are. Facing a major surgery is unpleasant for sure. It can be an anxious fearful time, it certainly was for me. The fact that you’re in pain, have multiple issues with your hips and a firm diagnosis is why you’ve committed to this. You’re also doing it to feel better for your husband and two young boys. You want to be the mommy they deserve. Please try not worry yourself projecting what you “may” feel like once you give up the NSAID pre-op. The Tylenol may work and if it doesn’t you can talk to your surgeon about a dosage schedule. I found some comfort over the last two weeks before surgery going to bed early to watch tv while using a heating pad. Try it and see if it brings you some relief. Hopefully it will.

I’m not sure if you’re aware, but not everyone experiences leg length differential, real, or perceived. Hopefully you won’t either. In regard to staples, possibly your surgeon won’t use staples? Mine doesn’t. Many members deal with staples without incident for the short term.

When you’re tempted to ruminate over all of the “what if’s” try focusing on your family, especially your boys and think about how much better you’ll be feeling in a relatively short period of time. Realize that the day of surgery will go quickly. The medical team will keep you occupied as they keep the mood light. Tell them you’re nervous and they will give you something to tamp the anxiety down. Understand that it will be just another day at the office for them as they do what they were trained to do, and what they do best. They’ll be working toward a perfect result which is what everyone wants for you.

Keep this in mind - Joint replacement surgery is one of the most prevalent surgeries performed worldwide. The outcomes of these surgeries have become excellent based on a number of techniques changing over the years. The implants are durable and long lasting, with longevity much greater than before offering an increase in the likelihood you’ll never have to experience this procedure again.

Focus on your brighter future. You can do this and we’ll be here for support and encouragement when you need it.
Sending a hug and wishing you comfort and peace of mind as you wait.

 

[Diamond77]

Happy Sunday everyone. I keep reading all of the encouraging words you have all left for me and I appreciate them all. I’m wondering if there were any surprises post-op that you weren’t prepared for in the hospital. Is there anything where you woke up from surgery and thought, whoa, I wasn’t expecting that?

 

[djklaugh]

@Diamond77 There were a couple of surprises .... 1) I had both hips replaced at the same time and NONE of the PT/OT folks I saw had ever dealt with a bilateral hip replacement patient before! So the first time out of bed the PT gal said "Start off on your un-operated on leg" and I said "Nope, don't have one of those". She was quite flustered and said "ummm well, do what feels best".

2- I was starving when I got to my room. I had not had anything to eat for nearly 24 hours so I knew I'd want to eat but it was more than that. My cousin had been called to let her know I was getting wheeled to my room and they gave me the phone and I told her to please bring me a berry milkshake so I'd have something to eat while waiting for the kitchen to send up dinner.

3- Legs both felt like they weighed 100lbs each! Very disconcerting and made it difficult to do anything. I had heard about this here at BoneSmart before my surgery but the reality of that particular aspect was beyond what I had imagined.

Tip: if you wear glasses or need hearing aids tell the nurse during the pre-op prep to please make sure you have those in the recovery room right after surgery. I get very disoriented without my glasses! Thankfully mine were with me and nurse slipped them onto my face as I was waking up.

 

[subie2021]

Everything moved faster than I expected after the recovery room. I don't remember the RR at all, but it seemed like I was wheeled back to my day surgery cubby, got dressed, drank a lot of water, used the little plastic deep breath measuring device, got up to use the bathroom, and did the pt ready-to-go-home tests,. The next thing I knew I was hustled down to the exit and helped into the car to go home.
There wasn't a moment of leisurely Me Time at all LOL

It was sort of a surprise to do all that and nothing hurt...a little sore, yes, but I think I expected to feel worse.

Also, waking up with the abduction wedge was weird. It's got velcro straps to keep it in place. It was just an odd sensation at first to have my legs immobilized.

 

[Sohowarrior]

Hang in there! I had a huge amount of anxiety and more pity parties than I could count. I was not in huge pain pre surgery but the X-rays told the story. Bone on bone. Did the shots, myofascial release, acupuncture. More. Nothing worked. I’m so happy I did this. I also was worried about limping and leg length. I’m aligned better than before, no limp and no leg length differential. Trust your surgeon!

 

[Hip4life]

@Diamond77 It is getting close now so the anxiety is probably ramping up. My GP has a framed, handwritten note from his late mother in one of his exam rooms. It says: "Courage is fear that has said its prayers." It's hard to put all the anxiety to rest, but as others have said, it does help to concentrate on the positive as much as you are able. I kept a journal to help get things out of my head and so I could see my progress. I'm hoping you will experience what I did. There was a moment in pre-op where I was finally at peace. There was nothing left to do but let the caring professionals take over. Don't worry about the unexpected: those same professionals will help you through them: just let them know what's on your mind.

My OS has an informational video where he describes just how much the experience with a painful hip can affect your whole personality. I was a terrible "Krabby Patty" as my family would say. Lol. They are SpongeBob fans. Family is very forgiving especially after you start recovering your life again. You resemble you again and can do the things you love to do again. That's the end goal and you have testaments galore of people here who have done just that. Include me in that "Happy Camper" group. No regrets as I camp and fish with my family. Pun intended. We'll be here to cheer you on as you make your way back to your life, as well.

Blessings for a smooth surgery and a good start to your recovery. We'll be looking forward to your update from the healing side when you're ready.