2:14am and I truly believe that sleep is my enemy. I did sleep about 3 hours today, so that will have to be enough until tomorrow!! Good thing I have an e-book I have to finish by Monday.
Not much going on here. Well, that might be a lie. I'm keeping an eye on the wound and there is about a 2 inch area (maybe smaller) that is open and weeping a bit. The steri-strips over it were saturated with blood and came off, so I put new ones on with a thick gauze pad (actually for abdominal injuries!) over that and taped it down. My mom will get more strips for me tomorrow at Rite-aid so I can keep them clean and dry. The rest of the incision looks great with dried blood, no weeping, and very little tenderness. The strips are still adhering so they'll fall off when they're ready. I do have quite a bit of swelling, but it has gone down. I can see a lump in the medial, upper part in the quad area. It hurts to the touch, so I can't massage it just yet. I still have a bruise on my outer calf, and it's ugly, but not nearly bad as I thought it would get. I have some random bruising way down on the outer side of my ankle on a previous surgical scar. Other than that, "find the bruise" was pretty boring this time!! I do try to touch around my knee every day Just to make sure nothing new comes up and to desensitize a bit. Will do the same with the scar once it's healed.
I ice all night with my cube and then during the day with regular packs. I have about 8 of them by now!!! I elevate in bed but I do spend a few minutes here and there sitting with it down...maybe 15 minutes total a day? It feels so good to sit with it bent. It helps my hip not hurt so much too! I really don't need anything else to be wrong this year. My body can't take any more. I am not taking my pain pills in a schedule any longer, just when my body tells me it needs them. (glad they are a higher dosage and they work quickly) I do end up taking something every 4-5 hours, switching between tramadol from my last surgery, oxycodone 10/325, and Skelaxin. I usually take the last two together at night to help with sleep.... I find that I'm forgetting to take the oxycodone every 4 hours. Even if it's late, if I move my knee around and walk a bit, it generally feels better. I'm trying to move it more so it doesn't cramp up. My PT from this time showed me a cool sheet trick that I use to stretch/bend both knees and legs. Love it!! My mom even said it felt good on her leg and she doesn't have problems. I'm still using my crutches because I can get in the bathroom easier with them than the walker. I'm terribly embarassed that I've had quite a few accidents lately. So, anything I can do to get there quicker, I'll do. It is getting better though, thankfully. I still have some pain getting up from a sitting position, particularly the toilet. I either do it really fast, or I sit forever trying to figure out how to get up with the least amount of pain...then get up with pain anyway!!! As my quad gets stronger, standing up gets easier. I give mad respect to anyone who had bilateral TKRs...
Emotionally, I'm struggling a bit. I have cabin fever and I miss being able to go out, drive, and see my friends. I spend a lot of time in my bedroom because my bed is high enough to get up without trouble. I do keep busy, but malaise and depression are creeping in. Thankfully, my niece Josie comes over 3 times a week and she loves spending time with me and my ouchies. Love her. I am trying to remain positive, because I am so grateful and relieved to have had both knees done!!! I'm trying not to fall into the "woe is me" because I wanted these and I don't feel I have the right to complain. I feel so helpless and I don't like giving up my independence, even if just temporarily. Once I get on the negative train, it's hard for me to stop my mind from going all the way and everywhere. Then I feel bad about myself and my self-esteem plummets. It doesn't happen all the time, but it's becoming harder to avert it. Weeks 2-4 were rough last time, so I'm trying to be hypervigilant, in a good way, this time.
Well, so much for a little update. I like to keep track of my journey, not just in the off chance that anyone is interested in reading it, that it may help someone, but because I can read back and see how far I've come, especially when I'm having a tough day.
Thanks again for letting me bend your ear, or ramble on anyway...
Come on snow!!!
Jen
Australia
