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PKR My Drama Queen Patellofemoral Knee

@Jockette, I know people can say things or make you feel inadequate in taking care of yourself, but try to let it roll off your back. You are right, they have no idea!
I wouldn't doubt that some people have thought strange things about my situation too, since I have had so many setbacks and other issues. If they want to think I am exaggerating or just not trying hard enough, let them. I know myself and so does God. He is in control of me and my healing and my trust is in Him.
I don't need the approval of others. Getting angry and distraught over what other people say or think just makes me miserable and sets me back. I tend to want to do defy their opinion, but I just have to let it go.
I have sometimes said to others, that no one knows what a persons situation really is like unless they walk in that person's shoes.
I am an assertive person and either ignore a negative statement, or say to them that I prefer they don't say these things to me because they really don't know, or I will be even very specific about what they said and what I think about it and how it makes me feel. That usually shuts them up. :xmark:
 
Oh don’t you just hate it when you get well meaning advice that really boils down to - you aren’t working hard enough or oh I thought you’d be better by now! Grrrr!
I still use one crutch outside if Im walking any distance (at 13 weeks) and I’ve had people saying - why can’t you walk properly yet are you not doing your physio?!!
Take no notice of them - it’s your knee not theirs and they don’t know how much you’ve had to cope with. :banghead:
 
All of these dumb statements people say, boil down to ignorance and some stupidity.
Fortunately for me, people have not made me feel like I am faking or exaggerating my problems. Maybe they think it, but I think they're a little scared of what I may say back to them, since I don't put up with much.
I have learned to be this way after being more submissive and quiet in my younger years. There is a time and a place to be quiet, and I try to let God lead me in this dimension, but many times, it is good and right to speak up for yourself, for others, and to give people correct information. Many think they know it all, but as we all know here, they don't!
So try to muster up a little courage and ask for wisdom to speak when you need to. It's not always just about defending yourself, it's about educating people on truth.
I do remember hearing a few times though, about doing your PT and how important it is if you want to get better. Sometimes I have said things about this, and other times I just say that I am doing as much as I can, but not to the point of flaring up. You have to judge each case individually because some people just won't get it, and it's not worth your time. But there are others that will listen and learn from you.
 
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kayow11 said:
Do you have to judge each case individually because some people just won't get it, and it's not worth your time. But there are others that will listen and learn from you.
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I met someone at a breakfast get together at our community center and we were talking about eye issues and I mention mine, due to my surgery (that I just explained on your thread) and they asked what surgery I had and I said knee replacement and I’d hardly finished the sentence when this woman told me to do my exercises because she had a friend (here we go!) who didn’t and she’s still using a walker blah, blah, blah.

I could feel my blood pressure rise and I replied a little bit and we got interrupted.

During the rest of the day I kept thinking about this woman’s friend who desperately needed Bonesmart. So I called the woman I had met the next day. I knew her name and we have a community directory. I was much calmer and had prayed for wisdom and the words to say.

We had a very nice conversation. I told her that her friend must have had other issues that contributed to a poor outcome. I explained about different opinions on approaches to recovery and what Bonesmart recommends. I asked her to give her friend my phone number so I could help her. It turned out that the friend’s surgery was 10 years ago and she’s in her 80s and she probably wouldn’t listen to me anyway.

But by the time we hung up, I felt like I might have converted the woman I was speaking to, she was interested in what I was saying, and that there is no “one size fits all Recovery Approach “ and she agreed.

So you’re right, you have to read people as to how much, if anything, you can say to them.
 
That's a great story, and example of what I meant in my post. So you know how it can turn out good sometimes.

I don't think anyone wakes up in the morning and decides they're going to be stupid or mean, but can have things go on that day that bring out the worst in them, or even just careless words where as they don't give any thought as to how it might affect someone.
I'm sure I have done this myself at one time or another, but if I think I have offended someone or made them feel bad or in adequate, I apologize for my bad behavior, and try to fix it with a genuine explanation of what I really mean, and what I should have said.
And likewise, if I feel offended or upset with words from someone else, frequently I will speak to them in private and tell them how I feel about what they said, and try to enlighten them about the effect it had on me, or work out a solution so I don't hold a grudge, or feel negative about them as a person.
Those feelings can fester and grow if they're not dealt with in a timely manner.:puppysmooze:
 
After my first knee cap removal, I tried doing the exercises my OS gave me, but my knee would swell up really badly. I went for my first checkup and my OS actually bent my knee himself and I passed out right there for a few seconds. When I came to, I told him that I would do it myself. I did! I did no more exercises, just used my leg normally. That lesson was learned in the early 90s. Never have I taken formal PT and I'm doing all the things I want to do after all these surgeries on both knees!

When people asked me if I was doing my PT I would just nod my head. I was doing my PT my way and the outcome has been great! We know our bodies and we know what's good for our recovering knees!
 
sistersinhim said:
I went for my first checkup and my OS actually bent my knee himself and I passed out right there for a few seconds.
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Wow, what did he have to say?

My OS always bent my knee which was always uncomfortable/painful but at my 4 month check up it hurt the worst. I would have thought at that point I’d be healed enough to handle it. I told him twice it was too far but he wouldn’t release it until he got his measuring tool and measured it. And he was unhappy with the 124 measurement. (he had been able to push it to 128, eight weeks earlier)

I was so mad. That was the last time I let him do that. The next 2 visits I did not get up on the table, I stayed in the chair. It also does something to you mentally/emotionally to have a conversation with him while I’m laying on the table the whole time and he’s standing over me. :blackcloud:
 
@Jockette, I can’t believe your OS did not back off after you told him it hurt! I think some of our other members might have kicked out with their other leg and set him on his keister :heehee:.

Regarding the feeling you get when trying to talk to your OS while he is standing over you, try one of the following: sit up right on the exam table (should put you close to eye level) or do it standing. I’m 6’2” so my problem is usually the opposite if I’m standing. My OS almost always sits on a rolling chair, so I either take a seat is a regular chair or on the exam table. This puts us at eye level or even me slightly above.

Doing the above can be difficult when your OS immediately prompts you to lie down, but try hard to resist doing so until after you’ve discussed your concerns. It’s not like he can force you to lie down, right?
 
I think if my OS would have done that to me, I would have yelled, "STOP"! I do bend poorly still, but what can I do about it? It just doesn't make sense to me to push that joint beyond it's limits and hurt horribly.
Hopefully the bend is still going to improve, along with less stiffness, more strength and coordination, etc. l am choosing to take my chances.
If I hadn't found Bonesmart, I would be anxious, worried, fretful, doctor searching etc. for help with my "bad outcome knees".
I am looking forward to the day when I can post here, my successes and good outcome, after waiting so long. It sure would be a testimonial, and give hope and encouragement to others who have problems and set backs like me. :wowspring:
 
@NavyGunns My last 2 appointments I stayed in the chair. He was cooperative the first time I did that, at my 7 month appointment but he balked a bit at my one year check up, but I didn’t give in, I stayed in the chair. Like you said, he can’t manhandle me into the table, right? And I had already decided that this one year check up would be the last time I go to him.

And I couldn’t sit on the edge of the table because even at one year it was
still uncomfortable to have my leg just dangle like it would.

He actually read my list of concerns that day but had no advice for me. He either didn’t know what to say or refused to say anything.

I still would like to know how many Patellofemorals he has done in his career but they wouldn’t tell me. I got the run around with different numbers of totals and partials in general, even though each time I asked specifically about Patellofemorals. That tells me they don’t want me to know. Maybe it’s not very many.

So when I interview my next surgeon I will ask if he plans force bend my knee to measure ROM. If we can’t agree to disagree I will not hire him to do my next surgery, if there is one. I don’t need that additional stress added to an already stressful recovery.

And the stress would not be there if all surgeons were like Celle’s in New Zealand! I want to go to hers next time!
 
@Jockette, you go girl! That is exactly the approach you need to take. Doctors are no different than any other customer service provider. You wouldn’t take your car to a mechanic without checking that they can do the job properly. Same with someone doing repairs to your house. Why is it we don’t think that way with doctors. My mother in law (91 bless her soul) thinks doctors are God and can never be questioned. She thinks she’ll get in trouble if she does. Frustrates me to no end! It’s your knee, your health, your life. If the doctor is unwilling or unable to acknowledge and accept that, go somewhere else. You’ve got the support of everyone here!
 
NavyGunns said:
can never be questioned. She thinks she’ll get in trouble if she does.
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I used to think that. After I found Bonesmart and wanted to stop PT I was afraid if a complication came up the surgeon would be mad I stopped and wouldn’t help me. But I did start saying no to things at PT, and they were fine wi that, and I even cancelled some appointments! :yikes:

A couple weeks later I got an honorable discharge from PT.

Next time there will be no PT, I can handle things better on my own.

I’ve come a long way, thanks to Bonesmart!
 
Such an awful tale with your OS:holysheep:and here I’ve silently (critically) thought my OS never touches a patient unless they’re in the OR. On all f/u visits he just sits on his rolling stool as I sit in the chair and he asks me to extend my leg and then bend it as far as I can without pain - and that’s it- no measuring no palpating - I guess I need to count my blessings and appreciate his approach. So keep looking for someone better as they are out there.
 
My OS did the same as yours, Dzina. The only time he touch my knee was to tell me it will stay warm during the healing process. And asked me what I can physically do. Never measured, push or jammed it.
Keeping looking Jockette, it’s like finding friendship! There will an OS that will fit your expectations.
 
Dzina said:
I guess I need to count my blessings and appreciate his approach.
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Once again, approaches/opinions differ so we get to choose.

My surgeon had a very pleasant personality. I really liked him before surgery. He was still smiling and pleasant while continuing to bend my leg.

Then at about 4 weeks post op I found Bonesmart and it’s gentle, sensible approach and I found my surgeon was telling me to do things Bonesmart said not to. My faith in my surgeon dwindled after that.

Pleasant as he was, all he seemed to care about was X-rays and ROM. I don’t remember him ever telling me it’s a long recovery but things will get better with time.

At my one year check up as he was studying my unhappy knee, which even had a bit of swelling that day, I told him that between what his office did and did not say, I had expected a 2-3 month recovery, and he agreed that’s what I should have had. :doh:
 
@Jockette I really hope you find someone great and that he's a perfect fit for your particular knee. Finding an OS who will go the extra mile to help you is a blessing, as I well know. Doctors go into the profession to help people, and most of them do so. But some of them become so full of themselves and the "power" they have, that they begin to think of themselves as gods, instead of as healers and advocates. I'm sure there are some that go into the profession for other less worthy reasons, but most of them are driven to help others so choose this path. Watching his face light up at praise for his skill, or at a successful outcome, lets me know how much my OS loves to help his patients, and the time and effort he's put into my knee, and the patience he has shown me all these years, (and without strangling me, although I'm sure he has wanted to at times :heehee:) is what I wish for you in a surgeon.
 
I am appalled at your OS saying your recovery should take 2-3 months! Where did they get this statistic?

Both of my surgeons were/are very pleasant men, and I believe both wanted to do their very best for all their patients. But they are human, and not infallible. All have some failures but we never think we're going to be in that small percentage of mess ups. I believe that the more they do, the more they can become careless and complacent about how to do a job right, each and every time.

My misaligned second surgery has caused a lot of problems for me. Even though my third surgery, a (revision) was successful, I am still reeling from the crooked leg problems and other secondary issues from it.

A few months back I did contact an attorney office and explained my issues. They told me that it is very hard to prove negligence in the medical field and these kinds of cases, and that they would need lots of info and be rather assured that they could win the case, to even proceed forward at all. I still have this option in my back pocket, but really don't want to go there.
 
kayow11 said:
I am appalled at your OS saying your recovery should take 2-3 months! Where did they get this statistic?
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I had a partial and what I read about partials is it’s a quicker recovery than a total. I know better now.
 
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