Update: Week 10. I am hanging in there at about -3/95 degrees under my own power. Today at PT, I could only do about 90 in the classic position on my back. Disappointing, but the therapist massaged a little and re-measured it at 95. The joint does seem looser and more cooperative when she is working with it. She was pleased with my progress--she sees me about once every four visits or so. Two therapists share my case.
I was going to update last week, but just couldn't bring myself to do so. Now I'm ready to confess. I have had quite a few ups and downs since week 8. I'm not usually a drama queen, so these bad days come out of nowhere and hit me hard. I get weepy and cross, and then I'm disgusted with myself, and then I get weepy some more. This is so NOT me...at least the me who got through breast cancer, chemo, and radiation as a single parent in my 30s with a 4 year old to take care of, or the me who had a heavy oak door fall on my heel and slice it open at work--the principal wanted me to go to the hospital to get stitches, but I just had him bandage it up and went on teaching. Or the me who had shoulder surgery and ditched the pain meds on the second day because we had a family emergency and I felt I had to drive my mom (in a blizzard, no less) 2 1/2 hours to her home to catch a plane. I could go on...
I have been trying to cut out the more extreme exercises and the rigid exercise schedule in favor of treating my knee more gently with benign stretches and more rest/elevation/ice/heat. (One of my PTs strongly advises heat; does anyone else do that?) I do pretty well throughout the day but seem to hit a wall around dinner time. I just can't sit there any more; can't find a comfortable position; my knee is complaining--not strong pain, but by then I'm tired of the sensations. I get antsy and shaky, from the low level of activity, I think. I've tried jumping on my small desk cycle, walking around a few blocks, but once the knee starts grumbling, it doesn't stop until about an hour or two after I go to bed and finally fall asleep. (And then of course the "rotisserie chicken" thing begins!)
I decided at the end of week 9 that I needed to keep the Tylenol up, which I had been experimenting with lessening. I also went back to strategic narcotics--before PT and at bedtime--after doing without several times. I reread some of Josephine's comments in various places on the site, where she says that people who've had TKRs sometimes need pain relief for 3-4 months, and that it's better to keep it up rather than let the pain creep in and then try to medicate. She also made me think when she asked another participant to rate their pain and reminded him/her that pain takes many forms. If my knee is not flat-out screaming at me, I tend to think of it as "discomfort" rather than pain. So now I've decided to "baby" my pain and see if that keeps my emotions more stable. I "hear" you guys who say it's better not to medicate before exercising--maybe I can still get to that point soon, but not yet.
It doesn't help that I talked to my mom a few days ago, and she trotted out an old script about me not being very tolerant of pain! She cautioned me that I had to do all the exercises even if they hurt, and basically to "suck it up." She has no idea what I've been doing or what kind of pain tolerance I really have. The conversation especially threw me because I want to be stoic, and sometimes it's just too much.
Finally, I am tired of spending all my time with this knee, either doing something to it, for it, or thinking about it. It drains me of energy!
There, I've said my piece. Soon I will muster up the good will to let you all know the unexpected "gifts" that doing this knee thing has given me so far. Then I will feel more like myself.