you asked about the ripping sensation... One day at PT, they had me try something and I felt a feeling for a split second, like velcro ripping - I stopped then and there and said, nope, not doing that ever again. (it was a small bridge). Just be careful if you were trying some sort of exercise. Otherwise, the sensation was most likely healing. There are so many sensations that take place. I'm sure my husband gets tired of hearing, but oh well. I'm so sorry of the passing of your mother. She is still with you in spirit. This process takes a long time and you learn to just live with "another day of healing", "another week of healing", "another month of healing". When I'm down, I pull out my gratitude journal and record just 5 things that I am grateful for. They can be huge, or tiny.... but it definitely works to make me feel better.
You have just come out of what I consider the dark days of healing (first 2 weeks). Things will be better every week. Just don't push it and ice/elevation is your best friend. Can't tell you when you'll be walking outside to the shop, everyone heals on their own time. I felt I was a slow healer and I'm still definitely healing but living life.