UPDATE FOR OCTOBER 20, 2015.
I am now seven weeks post-op. I've broken this update into chapters. While writing it, it occurred to me this is sort of like a Quentin Tarantino screenplay -- only with less gunfire and blood.
CHAPTER 1: RECORDING THE ROAD
I now have a video camera stuck to my windshield every time I drive. I also have this fantasy about being pulled over by a cop: He leans in my window and points to it.
"What's with the camera?"
"It's to defend me from lawyers."
"Yeah, right," he says, suspecting it has more to do with defending me from cops. I point downward.
"I'm wearing a hip brace that straps to my leg. My surgeon told me that, if I'm in an accident, a lawyer could use that in court to try to convince a jury that the brace slowed my reaction time...."
"Say no more," he replies. "Got it."
End of fantasy. No traffic citation was involved.
I bought this from Amazon for about a hundred bucks. It got excellent user reviews. It's the Annke X4, high-def 1080p video cam with a 170-degree side-to-side view, night vision capability, and you just plug it into the cigarette lighter. It also has a very clever way of locking the suction device to the windshield. Mine works great. But it has an awful user manual. It's almost incomprehensible. And it's in tiny two-point type, meaning I need to use a magnifying glass to read it. That company needs to hire someone whose native language is English before they write another manual.
Example: Without any clarification, there are several references to pushing something for "2.S." What the heck is that? I found no button labeled 2.S. It turns out they mean: Two seconds. There is a port on top of the unit, supposedly to connect to a computer, but they provided no cable. The power receptacle is also called the "A/V Output." There is a cable for that, USB connector on one end. But all that does is start the unit recording.
I haven't yet found a way to download video. Maybe I have to pull out the 32gb micro SD card and connect that directly to a computer. I really don't know. But I do hope to find out soon.
CHAPTER 2: THE FEET
Since the time I got home from the hospital, I was walking in flip-flops. These are fairly high-end sandals with a good, thick sole.
There are two problems with wearing flip-flops. First, your feet get really filthy if you walk around outside much. How do you clean the bottoms of your feet when you're not allowed to bend 90 degrees or more at the waist? I ended up using a back brush with a long handle. I'd soap up the fibers, raise my foot some and scrub it as best I could. Next day, filthy again.
The other problem is that they can bend if you don't step just right and this can trip you. That's a pretty serious matter. I tripped several times but fortunately recovered in time. I can't wear regular shoes yet, so I needed slip-ons. I went to Target. Thirty bucks for a pair of cheap-looking slip-ons? I finally found a pair for around $20. Both cheap-looking and actually cheap!
These shoes come in whole sizes only, such as 9 or 10. I wear 9-1/2. Which should I get? It's lots of fun shoe shopping by yourself when you can't bend over to put them on. Plus, the shoes are tied together with a chunk of plastic, which makes things even more awkward. I tried a size 9 and managed to get my foot in. It felt OK. These might work. I bought them and quit using the sandals.
Several days later, a lady asked me if they are comfortable. "No," I answered. "Thin soles, you feel every pebble." But at least they don't trip me up and as long as they last five more weeks, I'm cool with them.
CHAPTER 3: THE INFECTION
Perhaps you will recall that a little infection started at a suture point. The doctor put me on a powerful antibiotic, which ended up causing a bad case of...well...let's just say digestive chaos. He switched medicines. No further problems. Every day, I got some discharge from the infection site. I kept it dry while showing using a bandage procedure described in an earlier update. Finally, it went away. And six days later, I ran out of antibiotics.
Today, October 20th, I visited my orthopedic surgeon. He wanted to see the scar and inspect the infection site. He pulled my briefs aside and exclaimed, "Fantastic! Perfect!" That was good to hear.
CHAPTER 4: SCAR-REDUCING REMEDIES
I did some research online to see what's out there that can mitigate the scarring. Apparently there is some consensus that a silicon-based lotion containing olivamine and other antioxidants can be effective. There are some very expensive products containing these substances but after doing some Googling, found Medline Remedy with Olivamine Nutrashield. It's a lot less expensive.
I ordered two four-fluid-ounce tubes.
I began using it shortly after the infection cleared up. The itching I'd been experiencing quickly disappeared. I've been applying it in the morning and again at night. Maybe it will prove effective. That scar is ug-leee in the extreme. I would like to help it disappear. With any luck, it will somewhat quickly get less ug-leee.
Does it actually work? I don't know. I also don't know how I would know that it works. That requires a scientific test. But what's the downside to using it? I'll give it a shot for a few months.
CHAPTER 5: PHYSICAL THERAPY
The PT's last home visit was weeks ago. Every day, I performed 11 leg exercises, twice daily, with a couple pounds of weight strapped to my ankles. It got boring. First I would work my right leg, then the left leg (it was the left hip that had been operated on). I began to resent the time this took. In the last three weeks, it seemed to me that there was no longer any benefit.
One day it occurred to me, why in blazes am I exercising my right leg? A recent pic of my legs is included with this update, carefully cropped to avoid offending anyone with my butt bump. I hit the gym a lot, or did before this surgery. The PT's exercises really aren't important to my right leg, so I quit doing them for most routines.
The PT said do 10 repetitions of each exercise, then switch legs, do the same 10. Then back to the first leg, 10 more reps, then the same on the second leg. It seemed to me that the point of exercising my right leg was to give my left a chance to rest. Well, I began ripping through 20 reps on my left only, seldom needing a break. These are the exercises she had me doing:
1. Butt squeezes. Trying to do that unilaterally was a non-starter, so I squeezed both sides. At the same time, of course.
2. Leg press. This is laying on my back, pressing both legs down into the mattress.
3. Knee bends, while reclining. Bring the foot all the way in then extend again.
4. Leg sweeps, while reclining. Lifting the leg slightly, moving it as far as possible to the side, then back to almost the centerline.
5. Leg lifts, while sitting.
6. Leg sweeps, while sitting.
7. While standing, move the leg all the way back and return to the standing position.
8. While standing, move the leg off to the side as far as possible. Basically a leg sweep while standing.
9. While standing, move the leg forward then all the way back.
10. Leg lunges.
11. Shallow squats. With both legs, of course.
Working just one leg, except as noted, got me through this stuff a lot quicker. But if you don't work out a lot, you'd best do as your doctor or PT instructs. (That's the official disclaimer).
CHAPTER 6: THE HOSPITAL, OCTOBER 20TH
I had to go to the orthopedic clinic at the VA's West Los Angeles Medical Center. The direction signs posted around the lobby level indicate that ortho is on the "ground floor." This is not true and was certainly confusing the first time I had to go there. Ortho is in the basement. There is an elevator in the lobby that takes you down to that level.
I got in it with another guy. That particular elevator only goes from (hahaha) ground level to the other "ground level." I pushed the button for G...ground level. We started down. I looked at him. "Ground level is where solid ground or liquid meets atmosphere. Why in the hell does the VA think the basement is 'ground level'?" He laughed and shook his head. He said he had no idea.
We left the elevator and walked down a corridor. No windows anywhere. Wouldn't you expect to see windows on the ground floor of any building?
I had a 2:30pm appointment to see my orthopedic surgeon. I arrived at 2:20 and checked in. "Have you been to X-ray yet?" asked the lady behind the desk. Uh, no. Nobody told me to go to X-ray. "Then go to X-ray, then come back."
CHAPTER 7: THE IMAGING CLINIC
I checked in and the guy told me to have a seat. Someone would call my name. I sat. The TV was on Hot Bench, a legal reality show created by Judge Judy. People arrived, sat, got called and disappeared down the hall with their radiology escorts. I noticed a sign on the wall. It said that if you haven't been seen within 30 minutes of your appointment, tell reception.
At 35 minutes past arrival, I checked with the counter guy. He phoned someone in the back. "This is the front desk," he growled with authority. He gave them my name and asked if I was on the board to be seen. "He's next? Five minutes? OK." I said thank you and sat.
For 20 more minutes.
The clinics close up at 4pm. Was I going to get back to ortho before they locked up? Getting a bit concerned, I stood up and took a position where I could see down the hallway as well as be in the line of sight of the counter guy. A young man with a clipboard finally approached and called my name. I followed him to an X-ray room.
He turned out to be in training. I unbuckled the brace then pulled down my cargo shorts. He and his instructor shot three pictures with me in different positions. As I was getting dressed, I asked if they wanted me to run the pictures over to ortho. The trainer said they would be there before me. Cool. I quickly got back into the brace. "You have that under control," he said. "You do anything long enough, you get good at it," I cracked as I cinched down the last leg strap. Then I thanked them very much and left.
Ten more minutes passed as I waited. All the other seats were empty. Then a doctor called my name.
Finally!
CHAPTER 8: THE QUESTIONNAIRE
I have a major hearing problem and sometimes my memory sucks, too. I began compiling questions for the surgeon well in advance of this consultation. These are the questions and his answers (most of which he wrote out on the paper), provided today:
1. When can I bend over far enough to tie my shoes?
(Three months post-op).
2. I neglected to ask my physical therapist, who no longer visits, how much longer I need to do my 11 leg exercises, twice daily. I'm walking a great deal, I can kick my left leg out 80 degrees to the side and extend fully front and back. I question whether further PT exercises will increase range of motion. Can I quit the 11 exercises?
(Yes).
3. While I was in my hospital bed, one of the residents told me that the hip cup liner you guys installed has a "lip". Is that the same as: Elevated-Rim Acetabular Liner? If not, what is the reason for this lip and what is that lip intended to do? Can you show me an image of the kind of liner that was used in me?
(It is not the same, it is an elevated area positioned so that resistance is provided to the most likely position for dislocation. "And they don't work all that well," he added. He did show me on the X-ray its position and reason for it).
4. I was told that the risk of post-op refresh dislocation is 20%. Do you concur with that?
(Far, far less, he said. "OK, that's 5%," I said. "Even less." He seemed to think that 2%-3% is probably in the ballpark).
5. I dislike showers. When can I go back to taking a bath? Some months prior to surgery, after those two major hip dislocations, I worked out a method of getting into the tub that does not violate the 90-degree abdomen-to-thigh rule. I was able to get in and out without any problem.
("Wait two more weeks").
6. In a week or 10 days, I would like to return to the gym. Which exercises do you recommend I perform? Which to avoid, and for how long? Are there any limitations on weight or resistance?
("No weight training on the legs until you are three months post-op").
7. Are you positive that the acetabular shell is firmly attached? For months before surgery up until this day I can feel something in the left hip region seemingly "snap" into place, usually when I stand up. There is a distinct click sensation.
(He said the shell -- originally installed in 1994 -- is firmly attached to my pelvis. He was present during surgery. He said if there really is a problem, it's not with the shell. He showed me the new X-ray).
8. Does my surgical scar appear better than average, average or worse than average for being seven weeks post-op?
(Average).
CHAPTER 9: THE HIP BRACE
This thing is a royal pain. I groused about it to my surgeon. He said I have to wait until the end of November before I can toss it. It's been almost two months. I can live with it for a while longer. But it doesn't do what it seems designed to do. I was told it prevents my left leg from moving past the centerline to the right.
It doesn't. I can move my leg over there. So what's the point?
"You need to wear it," doc snapped.
"All right, all right. I'll keep on wearing it."
End of discussion. This thing just gets in the way. Three months post-op is November 27th. The day after Thanksgiving. Maybe I'll get rebellious and quit using it on the 26th. Maybe I'll pour gravy on it and see if its edible. It might go well with stuffing.... Or maybe I'll just throw it into the street to be smashed by a semi.
CHAPTER 10: THE TALE OF THE SHARPS
When I left the hospital two days after surgery, my home caretaker person was given a box of syringes. I was to receive one injection per day in the stomach area to prevent blood clots. She has a few years of medical training and did the injections. After a few weeks, we exhausted the supply. The used sharps were in a secure red plastic container. My caretaker person said I was to return the red box to the VA on my next visit, October 20th.
Upon conclusion of my visit, I asked the surgeon where to take the sharps for disposal. He said to ask the people at the info desk in the lobby. The info people pointed down the hall and said take the box to the lab. The lab person said she could not accept them. Some patients overheard our conversation.
"What do you think?" I said to those nearby. "Should I sell these on Ebay?"
The lab lady printed out a list of around 60 places I could drop off the red box, including cop shops, fire stations and many other places -- none of which were within several miles of where I live. I took the list and the red box and walked out. And it was in the hallway where I encountered a uniformed security lady. I held up the red box for her to see.
"This is full of syringes. You and are I standing inside a big hospital. They use syringes here. They dispose of syringes here. These are used syringes but they tell me they cannot dispose of them here. Does that make any damn sense to you?" She shook her head no and chuckled.
I walked back to my car, red box and list of disposal locations in hand.
And the red box and locations sheet are right now sitting on a living room chair. Anybody need a syringe? (Hahaha).
CHAPTER 11: GOODBYE
Probably this is my final update, but I will be happy to respond to any new comments or questions. Thank you for reading. I hope my story has been somewhat informative and hasn't been boring. Further, I hope I haven't gotten anyone in trouble. To those who wrote comments or offered advice, please know that it was very much appreciated! Take care, everyone. ~~~~~~~~
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