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TKR I Feel Like the Tin Man these Days

Thanks Susie. Was just coming here to say I've had it. My husband has had it. We're ready for this recovery to be over. *sigh* It definitely feels like I've pulled at least one muscle in my new knee leg and one in my left hip. Between the heating pad, the ice packs, the TED stockings, not being able to do anything useful, blah, blah, blah, I'm just annoyed. Our daughter is coming for a quick visit weekend after next so that's something to look forward to and it'll cheer us up to have her here.

Years ago when we were struggling with so many family and financial issues, I would have killed to have been able to just nap, read, daydream, rub the dog's belly, watch movies, etc. all day long. That would have been my definition of heaven (especially if I could do it in a oceanfront home!) This experience is a reminder it's good to be useful, have work to do, and to feel like doing it.
 
It brings it all into perspective for sure. But at only two weeks out you have a long way to go and might need to find some nice diversions! (An oceanfront house would be perfect.) Thank goodness your daughter will be there soon!
 
This recovery is hard and there are days we feel like just giving up. Unfortunately, we can't take a vacation from our knees, we just have to stick it out until we reach the promised land. The patience required for this would try the patience of a saint, let alone us imperfect mortals, and some days we just want to scream, "ENOUGH"! Those are the days we need a diversion, and a lot of ice cream. (you know that ice cream is one of the four major food groups, right?) Having visits from loved ones is a great way to help us over those humps. This weekend was a rough one for me, and a visit from my daughter and her family cheered me up considerably. When you are having a really rough time of it, I suggest grandchildren and/or children therapy. It's hard not to feel better when those wonderful grandchildren show up and throw their arms around you with sheer love and delight at seeing you.

At two weeks out, your emotions are all over the place; some days you'll just be too sore, swollen, stiff, etc, to stand it all, and will often spend a lot of time in tears and frustration. Those ups and downs are normal, while hard to get through. But you will get through them and as time goes on, things will begin to settle down and you'll begin to feel less out of control and less frustrated. We've been binge watching a couple of sitcoms that make us laugh, which is good, as laughter is good for the soul. Last night we watched a couple of episodes as we ate, and I nearly spit my food out a couple of times from laughing. Trying to find "normal" in this recovery is hard, so wherever you can find it is a good thing for your emotional health. Good luck and keep us posted!
 
Thanks, y'all. You're right this is a long recovery and I'm so lucky to have such a supportive and helpful husband but I'd really like some time by myself. Last time, he went back to work for a few hours each day for two weeks (before returning full time) and it was nice to be alone in the house. Whine, whine, whine. Anyway, hopefully the sun will come out and i'll be able to talk him into going down the river and check on our very, very old sailboat. Or at least get out in the yard and putter around.

We discovered one helpful thing this morning. Getting these stupid TED stockings on has always been a struggle but earlier, I sat on the bed and he pulled a chair up close to it. Putting my foot on his knee (instead of having my leg on the bed) helped immensely in getting the thing up and over my knee.

Think I'll binge watch "The Good Fight" (sequel to "The Good Wife") this afternoon. The language is a little over the top sometimes but it is distracting.
 
It is hard! I had an awful day yesterday. But then I slept and it got better.

And I love the Good Fight, language included. I love the opening sequence when they blow up all the symbols of luxury. (And no, i‘m neither violent nor steeped in profanity! :loll::loll:)
 
I loaded my Kindle with about a dozen books, but could concentrate enough to read. I read the same paragraph over and over again and still not get it! The tube kept me company, along with my 13, at the time, cats. I found doing little things then napping helped the time go by. Being unable to sleep at night, I slept when and where I could. The boring TV helped that!
 
I also enjoyed the Craig Johnson Longmire book series (the TV show not so much). Those books kept me from losing my mind while recovering from my TKRs (2/8/17 and 2/28/18). And if you find you enjoy those, I recommend the mystery novels by Keith McCafferty, also set in the modern American West, and also with strong and interesting female characters. (And hello out there. I'm new and have been a lurker for a year or so, prowling this site to find answers to my misery -- and I did. So thanks.)
 
I don't know what types of books you enjoy, but the "Beach House" series by Alice Monroe seems to be good. I happened to catch the TV movie recently on one of the Hallmark channels, and liked it, so decided to read the entire series. I have just started on the first one, which is called "The Beach House", but have the entire series on hand having gotten them from our local library system. They have them on Amazon Kindle, and you can also buy the books both new and used there, if your library system doesn't have them or you prefer to buy them. I like a lot of different types of books, but don't feel like any heavy reading right now, and hate cheesy and/or gross romance novels, so this seems to be a good series to read so far. I also like Karen Kingsbury, Debbie Macomber and Susan Mallery for light reading. I like a good mystery novel, and am planning to read, "Tears of the Giraffe" soon. I can't recommend it yet, as I haven't read it, but it was recommended to me so I'm going to read it soon and see if I like it.
 
Laurenkate said:
Anyway, hopefully the sun will come out and i'll be able to talk him into going down the river and check on our very, very old sailboat. Or at least get out in the yard and putter around.
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Can you be honest with your hubby and tell him he can go back to work? You'll be fine by yourself, and being independent is a huge mood lifter! I think it'd be good for both of you. If he doesn't go back to work, maybe he could take the boat out.
 
It's really nice to be alone during the day. My hubby was a great help, but I like the quiet when I'm past the first days of a recovery, and I also like to do whatever I'm able to do for myself without being told to be careful, or that I'm doing too much, or too little, and so on. And, let's face it, most men aren't able to be home and be quiet, and they also like to fix everything, including us when we're recovering, which can make us feel a bit smothered after a while. It's hard to get them to move around silently so we can rest and to let us do things for ourselves as we're able. Plus, men tend to leave things around the house instead of putting them away right away (well, mine does and I've seen other men do the same, plus have heard other women say the same thing) which can be trip and fall hazards, such as the vacuum, or frustrate us when we walk into the kitchen where everything is sitting on the counters not put away, etc. Unless your husband is already home all day and you're used to it, it's not a good time to start that process. When you're ready for him to go back to work, it's a sign that your initial need for constant help is over and you're ready for the next stage and need to move to it. Explain to him that you appreciate all he does, but it's time for you to begin to be independent again. You'll still need some help for a while, just not 24/7 help anymore.
 
Thanks for the book suggestions. My comprehension is a little better than the last time but reading a long article in the newspaper is still a little challenging. Have also decided all the news is scary/depressing/and/or infuriating so i'm avoiding it for a while. Will try some of your suggestions.

My husband retired last December so he's home now. Our biggest problem has been the weather; once he can get outside, things will be better. We're tired of the home health nurses and pt people coming in every other day too. For some reason, he feels like he has to be here for those visits but has agreed to get out of the house for a few hours next week if the weather breaks.

Getting a little discouraged about this swelling. I ice all day long, elevate for about 6 hours and at night and it doesn't seem to be getting better. Guess it isn't getting worse so there is that....
 
Your swelling is par for the course, especially at two weeks. I'm at nearly six weeks and although my swelling on the outside hasn't been horrible, the inside is still quite swollen and keeps my knee somewhat stiff. You can cancel the home visits, you know. I allowed one home visit and then cancelled any more visits. I also chose not to go to PT.

Maybe hubby needs a hobby that keeps him busy and away from home at least part of every day. Mine will go work in the yard rain or shine. I kid you not-it can be pouring rain out and he'll just put on garden shoes and a jacket and prune some trees or work on the vegetable beds for summer, etc. He prefers being outdoors to indoors, and bringing outdoor dirt inside is his specialty. :wink:
 
Wondering if any of you had those emotional times before TKR? If so, how does it compare to post TKR. I’m too curious for my own good.

So much on your pre op mind in addition to painful knees and knowing you’re about to have a huge surgery and long recovery. And still have to function everyday.
I could :yikes: scream! And cry :boohoo:

Typing this waiting for vet to see Tootsie.
 
Yes. Before knee #1, I was anxious, petrified, full of doubt. A little sick to my stomach on occasion.

A few days before surgery, I was able to reframe this as something I had to do, and it would be good. And I went into surgery a nervous wreck, but ok, and the recovery was so much better than expected.

For this one, I was basically looking forward to surgery. First few days were rough, but it‘s settled down again and is just like before.
 
I think having a date for this surgery so far away is worse than getting it done right away. We have way too much time to stress over it, which is a bad thing. When I finally agreed to go ahead with the revision last fall, my OS wanted to do it right away, but we already had plans for Christmas, and I didn't want to cancel them. So he said we'd do it in the spring as he didn't want me anywhere near the hospital during flu season. It was scheduled for April 19th, then had to be postponed until June 22. The long wait was a lot harder to handle than just getting it done right away. I wasn't exactly emotional, but I had major kangaroos jumping every time I thought about it. The closer it got, the higher they jumped. As it turned out, the recovery has been night and day compared to past recoveries, which has been a blessing. As long as you keep your pain under control, you will do fine. It's never easy, but the light at the end of the tunnel is worth the journey.
 
Agree with Love about this too. I only had 6 weeks between scheduling both surgeries and having it and that was enough time to be worried, get ready, worry some more, make sure everything was done in the house (again!), etc. I'd be a complete basket case if i'd had to wait longer than that. If we'd been smart, we would have waited until October when Medicare kicks in (hopefully but who knows - trying to get set up for Social Security and Medicare has been a saga too) - but we would have spent the next two or three months just dreading it everyday.

Honestly, I don't remember being particularly depressed or teary with the last tkr - probably just more annoyed at losing my independence for a while. It was a little depressing to finally get through the first one's recovery and only have a couple of good months before the other knee decided it wanted to be replaced too. You won't have that issue though.

Just finally figured out why my husband isn't outside doing all the things he likes to do. He said he was "tired of being wet" (the heat and humidity are both really bad) and he's the type who, in the past, had to change his clothes (at least) twice a day - if not three times. Now that he's having to wash the clothes, he realizes how quickly 2 and 3 shirts and shorts worn daily pile up to a lot of laundry. We had to buy one of the "low water"- or whatever they're called - washing machines and it takes an hour now to run each load. Suspect he's trying to cut down on that chore....
 
This Virginia weather is not for the menopausal women! The heat is bad enough but add this humidity to it and you can barely breath. The air feels thick.
 
It’s very unpleasant in Delaware, also!
 
sistersinhim said:
This Virginia weather is not for the menopausal women! The heat is bad enough but add this humidity to it and you can barely breath. The air feels thick.
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We've been having a lot of humid weather here in upstate NY too (I live 2 hours north of NYC). It is not fun having hot flashes in this humid weather!!
 
Ok, Bonesmarties; any and all suggestions will be appreciated. Yesterday was a fairly decent day. I've been wearing these awful TED stockings since Tuesday, the physical therapist didn't show up (yay!) and I've been icing almost all day each day (taking an hour break or so every 3 or 4 hours) and elevating 4-5 hours a day. Still can't sit in a chair for longer than 30 minutes - but that's 25 minutes longer than this time last week. Puttered around for about an hour (total) and the swelling hasn't gone down one bit! The top of my knee is 4 inches bigger than the other knee and the bottom is about 2-1/2" bigger.

This shouldn't be a surprise because it took 8 months for the other knee to not swell every day. And it still swells during heat and if I've had a long day.

As I was typing this the physical therapist showed up and after hearing the above, she suggested something different. She likes the KT gold kinesiology tape but I had the regular tape so she cut it all up and ran it up and down my knee. (If nothing else, it looks cool). I've used the tape for other things and always liked it because it helps with pain so this was worth a shot. We'll see but in the meantime, thanks for any ideas....


 
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