Have my date !!!!

[Hoppy Nanny]

Angie...,, sorry you had bad night.... The anxiety is awful before the op..... I can only say again it's nowhere near as bad as you are imagining.
Nowhere near as bad as the pain you are having now. Do hope your bug goes quickly and that you sleep better tonight..... With best wishes..,, Chrissie xxxx


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[cornishhedge]

Hoppy Nanny

Thanks for your reply.

Very kind of you.

I'm not sure if it is a bug you know. I've had problems like this for sometime. I'm worried if I go to doc they will find another thing wrong with me!!

I go in with something old and come out with something added to the list!!!! Looking blankly at the doc saying .... Oh I didn't know I had that. !!!

Tummy kept me up half the night. The other half was worry about the op which is coming up fast. You know the one you told me not to worry about !!!! Lol.

Anyway can't even think about Christmas , can't get my mind beyond 17th dec.

Strangely a good friend of mine is having hers done. Not sure when . She had her pre op on the 25th November.

She is delighted, very positive , I feel so weak and whimpy next to her. Bless her.
She is even having it done at the same hospital as me. Be nice if we were together.

Butterfly I have sent you a private message because I never seem to be able to catch up with you ???

Angie

 

[Jaycey]

Angie, this part is the worst part. Waiting and letting your imagination run wild is bound to make you anxious. Keep busy and come here and post when you are feeling worried. It does help! What are you most worried about. I'll bet we all shared the same worries and can help you through this. Take care!

 

[cornishhedge]

@Jacey thanks for your reply.
I laughed really when you said what are you worried a bout. Well my god the list is endless.!

So are you saying come here and list them all? Ha ha. I would make a fool of myself if I did that.

Thank you for saying that.

Is this really the worst part? I can't sleep. I'm lying in bed having panic attacks at night.
I mean real panic attack. You know ones where my heart rate is crazy. My husband is very worried. He said if I go on like this they will refuse to operate because they won't be able to do anything with me!!!!!!

I'm afraid of myself!!! That sounds silly. I'm afraid of what my mind will do to me with the worry side of things.

Blood clots, infections, waking up during the op. Dislocation once home. Heart attack, stroke, blah blah blah !!!
This is all once I'm done and back home alone, well hubby will be here, he worries soooo much.

I know it sounds stupid but it's the truth.
( you did ask)

I've spent£500 on hypnotherapy, had counselling, I'm just feeling I'm a lost cause !!!!!!

(You did ask)


Anyway my friend is coming round in a minute and we always have a good laugh. She may even offer to have it done for me lol lol.

Thanks
Angie

 

[Jaycey]

Well you about covered what I felt pre-op. Oh, you left out never being able to walk again. Can you ask your GP for something to help you get through these last days. Before my spinal surgery I was really a basket case. My GP totally understood and gave me 10 Valium tablets. I took one on the day I got the prescription and one the day of my op. I still have 8 of them.

 

[cornishhedge]

@Jacey lol,

I take Valium on a daily basis lol. Have to take them for a tremor in my head. ( no need for noddy dogs in back of car with me around)

I have asked her for something. I've told her what I'm like. She was very kind and said , don't worry I will make you good and drunk on the day. ( I don't drink so no idea how that feels)

Now my worry is what if she gives me something that the anesthetist doesn't think will go with his concoction . Tut tut . See I'm at it again.

Yes never walking again has crossed my mind lol.

Will go see her next week see what she says. Want to see her about my tummy.


Thanks again
Angie

 

[Butterfly]

cornishhedge Hi, Angie -- You sound just like me -- I lay awake many a night before my surgeries being terrified of everythig you can think of. I like what you said about "being scared of myself." I was also afraid of what my mind could do to my body (like cause me to have a stroke or something).

Those Bellaruth Naperstek tCDs helped me with a lot of it. I would just put one on with headphones when I went to bed (turned volume low) and it seemed to block a lot of the "chatter" in my brain so I could sleep. I found her affirmations and imagery to be most helpful also.

One of the things I didn't worry about was never walking again -- I mean before the surgery I wasn't really walking -- hadn't done that for a long time -- I was dragging myself around on my walker, NOT walking. So if I had not gone ahead with the surgery I KNEW I wouldn't walk again; so the surgery couldn't make that absolute fact more absolute, so I didnt worry about that. I did worry that I'd be the only person in the history of medicine that didn't get rid of that awful pain; I worried they would find something on my pre-op that was terminal. I worried about managing after surgery; I worried about everything I could think of. I was REALLY scared, and so worn down from the pain. All I could do was just grit my teeth, put my head down and charge forward, because I could not stand that pain any longer, and I couldn't continue to live alone with the immobility issues I had. I really felt I had no choice in the matter, terrified or not.

As I've said before, it was nowhere near as bad as I imagined it would be, and once I arrived at the hospital for the first surgery, I just kind of let go of it and a sort of "whatever will be, will be" attitude took over while I was there and right after I came home.

I still worry about everything you can think of, but I am so very glad I went through the surgery. I wish I could say I've adopted the "letting go of it" attitude in everything, but I haven't been able to manage that, probably never will.

The time will pass and you'll have it behind you soon; I didn't believe that when I was going through the awful worry, but it is true.

I hope you can get some peace and rest.

Love,

Milli

 

[Hoppy Nanny]

Hi Angie......isn't it great to know we are all the same? Had ALL those worries and a few more to boot! (Won't share them as it will give you more to worry about..lol). My hubby always says that anyone who says that don't worry is strange..because it's normal to fear the unknown. But I can honestly say that the operation was a breeze....
They know that we are worried and are so calm. In fact as they wheeled me in I was shaking so much my teeth were chattering! Wish I could
Take your worries away for you. Your friend might be positive and upbeat......but you are not a wimp my dear...you are just like the rest of us.
I've got to have my other hip done and I now have no fear of it.......to get rid of that awful pain that was ruining my life is so good..sending lots of hugs to
You........Chrissie xxxxx


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[cornishhedge]

Butterfly Hoppy Nanny,

Thank you both for your replies. Nice to know I'm not the only silly old twit lol.

Yes I know everyone worries course they do. I'm just being selfish really. You both have two poorly hips. At least my other one is ok. ( can still put my toes to my mouth with that leg.) lol.

You both said the surgery was not a s bad as you expected. That helps!

Also milli you went right on and had the other one done after four weeks. Soooooooo brave.
You didn't seem to be too worried about your second one ( although I can't find any of your posts about your second one )

Chrissie you said your not worried about having your second one done.
So I'm guessing it can't be that bad.

I can't see past the 17 th still. Huh ! Fed up worrying about it t o be honest. I feel like there is a big black piece of cloth in front of the 17th dec and I can't see past it.
Funny old feeling.

Thank you both for your kind words.

My daughter is on the plane coming home for a few days right now. So that will help.

Love. To you both
Angie

 

[Butterfly]

cornishhedge You are NOT a silly old twit. You are a normal human being with fear of the unknown! AND, I wasn't brave to go ahead with the second one. It was so bad I KNEW I'd never feel really better until they were both done. And I had already scheduled the second one, and I didn't want to lose my nerve and/or prolong the recuperation time. That was a big part of it -- not wanting to be recuperating forever. I am SOO tired of being stuck in the house and mooching rides.

I know what you mean about the calendar ending on your surgery date. I felt the same way exactly -- afraid to plan past the date.

And it is true -- the surgery is not nearly so bad as you think it will be. First off, you will sleep through it and wake up after it is all done. Then you'll have SOO much less pain and what you do have will be well managed with post op meds. They will get you out of bed to walk a little with a walker either the same day or surgery or the next day. You'll be AMAZED at how little pain that will cause. You'll be home before you know it. I was only in the hospital two nights with the first hip and three nights with the second one (only because my blood pressure dropped rather drastically). You'll sleep a LOT during those days in the hospital. If I were you, I wouldn't worry about being moved from one hospital to the other -- you'll be in for such a short time. And do remember that your surgeon tells the hospital how you are to be treated and what drugs you get, what you are to do and not do, etc., no matter which hospital you are in.

All the pre-op hoops you have to jump through are worse than the surgery itself, and the pre-op worrying is a LOT worse than the surgical/hospital experience.

Just try to get through these next days without worrying yourself to death -- that was hard for me, but I did it and so can you.

Love,

Milli

 

[glynis]

Well, Angie, it is Dec 17 today. I wonder if you have had your op?

I go away first thing Thursday. Will check in on return. Hoping to hear great news!

Glynis

 

[Hoppy Nanny]

@cornishedge Thinking of you today....you will soon be on your way to recovery....Chrissie xxx


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