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TKR From Difficult Moment to Some Positive Moments

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Ok, the trip is booked:) So as of today, I feel like I am more stiff and sore than I have been in weeks. By 8:00 p.m. I am miserable. Stick a fork in me done. I am wondering when my social life and energy level will return. From what I have read on the board here, probably another two months?

My employer is pressuring me to get back to work full time, and as of today I do not see how that will be possible. I read other people have returned around the three month mark. I get pain, swelling, and fatigue during the day. I have pushed myself to see if I can do more, and then I am miserable when I do. I know it will all be fine, just trying to get my head around the next couple of months....:hairpulling:
 
Don't let your boss push you or "guilt" you into returning before you are ready. If you are able, take as much time as you can. You'll be a better employee when you DO return!
 
Yeah, I just think it is going to be a battle to get this approved between prudential and my employer. If the company I work for thinks this is cake walk, they are crazy. Getting them to approve me working from home 20 hours took two weeks of arguments and back and forth. I think I would have a physical breakdown if I went back full time next week. Should I just have the surgeon spell out to disability and my employer I need to return on a phased in schedule? I feel like I go in circles on this. For sure, I would not be a good employee returning after my next OS appointment which is 5/29.....
 
It's always helpful to have your surgeon document that you are not ready to return to a full work schedule. Most of the time, they will write what you want within reason. Don't have him set a date for return....just a date for a re-evaluation. And be sure he includes the activities that you CAN do right now - like working xx number of hours a week per day from home. Have him phrase it the way you feel most comfortable working - flexible hours with maybe a core hour or two a day where you will be available....every other day.....etc.....whatever works best for you.
 
Thanks for the advice. The surgeon's office has been really vague in their documentation prior and I think that hiccuped Prudential and the documentation to my employer. I thought since I am on a management level, they would be flexible with me on working remote and then trust that I am not taking advantage, and will do whatever I am physically able to. I came to realize they have no policy in place to accomodate someone phasing in from disability. I want them to put me back on payroll full time, and then as pe the surgeon's instructions, I would come into the office the first couple of weeks 2-3 days a week for xxx hours. This is all so complicated, and no one in my HR department explains anything....:scratch::DOH:
 
That sounds pretty typical for the business world. Crisis management!!! Just think of all the people who follow you that you're helping....you're setting policy!!!
 
You dont say if its a big company . remember at the end of the day, no matter how nice they are, to big companies we are just a number! Do what's best for you.
 
On another note, I have read on the board that feeling depressed is a normal thing. The past two days, and I don't know whether it has been bottled up, I have not stopped crying. I am so much better than two months ago, but the pain and swelling etc. is keeping me very limited, and I just feel....I guess.....depressed. And alone in this....my support system I guess, thinks I am all better and has moved on....

It is a fairly big medical device company. My boss won't be happy that as of next week I am not going to be in 5 days a week, but you are all right. I cannot do what I physically cannot do.
 
It's all normal Karen. I had a time when I kept crying, convinced I was crippled for life , would have to retire etc. eventually doc gave me an aniti depressant to buck me up. She said it was ll normal to feel like that, said it was more common in younger patients as they had more expectations. You are getting there
 
Thanks. As I mentioned in pevious posts, I am a single mom and the days I have my son I have been trying to have a normal routine. Cook dinner, help with homework, drive him to respective activities, etc. I feel like the pain and tightness is getting worse, not better. And I am wracking my brain trying to figure out what I am doing wrong.
Maybe I need an extra set of hands, which I just do not have. I need help keeping up with laundy, the house, errands, etc. I feel very overwhelmed and do not know how to handle stuff. I wish I had someone around to check on me daily, help with stuff, emotional support, etc. I know people care but I feel so alone. If this does not lift by next week I will see my general doctor.
 
You know Karen , your son is old enough to help out a bit . Just a little bit won't do him any harm. I hope you are still taking painkillers. And the housework can wait.
 
Karen, you need some help. And the only way to get help is to ask for it. That is so difficult for most of us to do. But sometimes we just have to admit that we can't do it all.

Family, friends, co-workers will usually come to your aid, if you ask and don't overwhelm them with things. Figure out what you need most and go from there. Maybe some of your son's friends parents could help with transportation for his various events. You may have to miss them so you can get the rest you need and the time to elevate and ice.

You will get better; but if you are having to overdo all the time, it will take much, much longer to reach "normal".

Please try to find some help---and please take care of yourself and keep us posted. We care.
 
Thanks, it is the realization that after 11 weeks I am not superwomen and even though I want my old life back so bad, I am not there yet. I also think I need to address what I think is depression. I might need a short term something, I am usually so upbeat, and I have been weeping for days now. What the heck.
I asked someone to help me clean weekly, not cheap but will be worth every penny. My son does help, it is actually the times he goes to his Dad I find I end up doing to much. Backwards, but true. I hate sitting home alone all limited. But this too shall pass. The prior knee was shot, at least this one will give me many years of good use after this is over. So I guess my plan is cut back on whatever it is I am doing, do less, ice more, and rest. And figure out how to break it to work that I am not going to be there full time after my doctor's appointment. Ok, off to bed, I am so happy I have this place to come to!!!!!
 
You can ALWAYS count on us for support. Just wish we could be there to physically help you!!! I know it's tough, but you really are doing just fine. Remember....this recovery is measured in weeks and months and you're still fairly early in the process. Try to focus on the progress you've made and not what you cannot do! Believe me, those household chores are not that important and most will wait (clean underwear is not in the "wait" category! :th_heehee:)

Be sure you are getting plenty of rest. Being tired contributes to feelings of depression.
 
Thanks for the supportive comments. So never a dull moment. My ex husband, who has been the hugest help to me and my son since my surgery, is an avid bike racer. Someone crashed in front of him today at a race and he crashed, shattering his elbow. I just asked him yesterday too, if he could take my son some extra days since I seemed to have somehow overdid things on my knee and need some time off it.
No rest for the weary here. He is ok, but will need surgery in the next week. I need to return to work, and he is my son's after school care, picks him up every day, etc. Not sure how this will all work out now, time to enlist even more, the help of others I guess. Life can be overwhelming.....:cry4:
 
I think I just need validation from my wise friends here I am not going to physically collapse if I return to work, and have my son full-time. While he is 14 and old enough to be a great help I wont be able to collapse when I get home and do nothing. Can you tell I am just a bit overwhelmed? And the swelling and pain at the end of the day has been bad. Tomorrow I do have my follow up with the surgeon....

Hope you all had a great memorial day week end, at least those in the U.S.!
 
Karen, I feel for you! ((HUGS)))
So you haven't started back to work, yet? If so, that is great- you should take the whole 12 weeks allowed by NJ law.
Although I feel good and have done stuff I haven't done in years, I am also worried abt returning to work in 3 weeks, although OS says I can't be on my feet more than 4 hours a day for the first month or so. Got to wait for his note to see exactly what he says.
Is there any other family nearby that can help on a temporary basis? Aunt, uncle, parent, sibling, etc?
Hang in there, and vent here as needed!
 
One day at a time, the rest will take care of itself and it WILL fall into place
 
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