Hi,
Sassypants. I'm glad your youngest one is accompanying you to the pre-op session. In my humble opinion, it doesn't matter so much that our friends and family are reluctant helpers. It's more important to have them there during the times you really need them. Like the mandatory pre-op thing. I mean, a year from now, when you're well on your way to recovery, it won't matter whether your kid didn't want to be there, or had to be bribed. And for him, when he is much older, he will certainly feel better that he overcame his reluctance--by whatever means!--and was with you.
I live alone and only had a cousin to help. She flew in from far away so she could take me to the hospital; stayed in my apt. while I was in the hospital and made it ready for me; helped me get from the hospital into a car from a car service, which took me home. She had to leave on the fourth day after I returned. So I was on my own from that point on. I didn't like it, I won't lie. I was scared to death. But I made it. I had my cane and grabber-reacher at my bedside; a flashlight, phone and phone numbers always at the ready. The surgeon told me I could contact his nurse via phone or email at any time for any questions, so that was a huge relief. Also, the ins. co.'s visiting nurse, and the physical/occupational therapist, arrived on the very day I got home from the hospital. The nurse was kind of a joke; but the PT/OT lovely, and helpful. It was better than no one. I had an overzealous neighbor-friend whose hovering was not helpful as she just never understood my surgery at all and had bizarre commentary and reactions. One minute she acted like I was a fraud since I didn't come home in an ambulance and wasn't lying in bed or in a wheelchair. Another minute she'd be frantic if I didn't pick up the phone immediately, as if I were on my death bed. Well, I wasn't on my death bed. I was in the bathroom, getting acquainted with my new roommate: the infamous toilet riser (the source of many post-op jokes here on BoneSmart). Another neighbor-friend was hugely helpful, but I hated to impose on her much. Some of my friends from decades on went MIA. Couldn't deal with it. Others who would have done anything for me were just too far away and literally unavailable. In the end, I was pretty much alone for all of it. And I made it. But I hated it. So ... if you have friends or neighbors who can help and I mean help in a way that really helps you, let them do what they can. And consider going to a rehab place if your ins. covers it. That's what I'll probably do when (if?) I have my other hip done, as I can't ask my cousin to come back for an Act II.
I highly suggest hanging around BoneSmart and reading some of our early post-op sagas. You will see some things in common, which will help you when you experience them, too: prunes versus prune juice is one of them.
United States
