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pre-surgery fears and blues

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sissy46, what next?! Did you read the reviews below the pic? Especially the one about the husband and wife who would argue about who would cut the bananas, really hope that one was a fake review, too much info there :heehee: I haven't seen these here yet, but did see a banana shaped plastic box for taking bananas to school or work yesterday.
 
Hi everyone. Funny how you feel the same as someone who has written on this site - and how reading all the threads of those who have gone through the same thing - offering encouragement - is fantastic. My surgery is scheduled for this coming Friday - however unfortunately at my pre-op yesterday, they were concerned that I have a sinus/chest infection - and they are likely to post-pone a week or 2. I have been struggling with the fact that I was about to endure the operation this week - now to find out I must wait through even more anguish and try to remain positive throughout. I am a smoker - which I know is bad - and I need to quit; the stress of this anticipation isn't helping me. Doctors say - just quit - as if it is the easiest thing to do.

I am very fortunate to strong support from my family. Lately I have been down about how things are now - it hurts to do everything - even getting dressed causes severe pain. I am 47 and feeling like 80. I use a cane all the time now. My partner has lost desire for me, as he views me as an old lady in pain - pain and lack of mobility are not very arousing. I wonder how will he get the images of me with a walker - and possibly wearing depends out of his mind after this is all said and done? Sex is the furthest thing from my mind at the moment - but it is a big part of everyone's thoughts, especially a man's, and the lack of desire can certainly take it's toll on the positive mind. Can anyone else relate to this?
 
Bionic, so sorry to hear about your postponed date. The blues are a real part of this bad hip thing, and it doesn't help when you lose all desire. The pain just grinds you down and it's hard enough just getting through the day. I went through thyroid cancer treatment 5 years ago and that treatment makes you feel like a slug, gaining weight by the day and crying all the time at the drop of a hat. My husband and I went through this illness together and accepted that this was a time period of our relationship that would not include sex. We are going through this again with the hip, but after 34 years we both realize that it will pass. Hopefully your partner will look at it as that — only temporary. There may be times that your partner will go through a health concern and lose the desire and you'd be there to go through this together. Hope this helps. Take care Bionic.
 
BionicWoman2 Hi fellow Canadian...Yes, many of us can relate. It is hard for our partners to watch us struggle with pain and it changes things around intimacy when they have to play the role of caregiver. But this is what happens in committed relationships and as designergirl says, if it was his health problem, I am sure you would step up. I can tell you that it gets better and things will change. In a few short months you will be pain free and mobile. It's hard for you to imagine now but you will soon be the active, interesting woman your partner Found so attractive. My husband is thrilled that I am back to my old independent self -- no longer depressed because of pain and physical restriction, interested in my appearance again, and ready to re-engage with the world. Truly, it is like being reborn. Hang in there for just a little longer, it will happen for you too, I am certain of it. Sorry to hear of your postponement but its encouraging that they want you in good shape before the op. By the way, I don't think you will need Depends! Getting up and walking to the bathroom is part of your therapy. Because of logistics I did rent a commode to use at night for the early post op weeks and my husband was in charge. But I did it for him when he had foot surgery a year ago. As you get older, you tend to take turns with the nursing. Wishing you future health and happiness, Vicki
(Thanks SL for letting us borrow your thread for a minute.)
 
Hi Vida. Thank you for your comments. I'm glad that getting up and walking to bathroom is therapy for hip - but I have a J-pouch - so sometimes the urgency is there from that and I won't be able to run. Sounds crappy doesn't it LOL. Sounds like I should rent a commode just in case. I hear what you are saying about taking turns nursing - but I have been the only patient the past 10 yrs. Surely I will get the chance to pay my husband back someday, as we are only going to get older. Hopefully the new hip makes me feel young again. I did find out my surgery is indeed post-poned, 5 weeks - now it is March 28th, day before Good Friday. I'm on the cancellation list as well - but I almost want to wait so I have a for sure date - then again, Feb 22 was supposed to be for sure. If I get sick again, I will most certainly get on top of it straight away and not wait for it go get better on its' own. Tracey
 
Hi Designergirl. Looks like you will now be going before me, as my date has been moved to March 28th now. Wow, didn't think it would be that far away. I was nervous, but prepared to go in two days. More time to mull it over and prepare. I was feeling down because of my prior surgery - where my colon was removed and a J-pouch was created inside me - but hearing that you had thyroid cancer treatment - I now know I am not completely alone. You never know what challenges will come our way to deal with in this life - I can only have faith that there is a lesson to be learned or a strength to be gained from it all. Anyways, take care - and I'll be thinking about you as you near your surgery date next week. Tracey
 
Hi starlight, how are you doing today? I hope you are feeling a bit better! :flwrysmile:
 
Stargazer, your post was a great read for me . I'm 4 days out from a March 18th surgery. Great to read such a positive and inspiring post. I guess I sort of fall on the other side of the line.That being I have had few thoughts about canceling the surgery. All want to do is HAVE it and move on to dealing with recovery and what ever that may entail. I curse at my hip out loud when it is giving me some real trouble. I tell it to go ahead have your fun now because "I'm going to go get you the !#*^ out of my life. You *^!@* you are on the way OUT OF MY LIFE!!" May sound silly but to me it gives me control of the situation and not the hip,who in my life was taking control and giving the orders.Not now .I'm giving the orders and the old pain in the hip is going to the literal bone yard and right now some place my shiny new hip is awaiting to be installed and hopefully will be my friend and let me have my life back.
I don't fear trying to make a change for the better nearly as much as I dread living like I am now ,where the list of limitations continues to expand and my ability to deal with them continues to diminish.
 
Starlight and Overly Hackled, I speak to you from the vantage point of 4 weeks and 2 days after surgery. I worked 4 days this week, and I gave myself my last Lovenox injection today. (Thank goodness that's over.). I'm tired, but feeling pretty good. Haven't been able to do much PT, but have been walking and practicing not limping. I have ZERO pain tolerance-- I am a baby. I had almost no pain after surgery-- yes, I was using the pain pump, but that's what it was there for. I had really uncomfortable side effects from narcotics, so I've been only taking acetaminophen and Celebrex for the past 2 1/2 weeks. I have very little pain-- usually if I've been in one place for a long time. However you've restricted your life, it can only get better. Find a surgeon you trust and put yourself in his/ her hands. You won't regret it.
 
You are definitely not alone. I am struggling with depression too, and feel oh so old...no desire...it is all I can do to get through the day and go to bed to toss and turn and then begin another day with the same old thing.
This too and will pass!
 
Mamarey do you have a surgery date yet? Sounds like you are more than ready.
Hey Starlight don't be a stranger. Have you moved to NJ yet? Surgery date?
 
I have had my May 23rd surgery date since the end of November. Will be happy when I get in the single digit countdown. 10 Weeks away
 
Mamarey That's a long time to wait, you must be about worn out. Ten weeks will pass, though. Single digits next week.
 
Frozen bananas makes wonderful natural ice cream.... don't need to add anything, just mix to a creamy consistency... perfect after dinner desert.. full of Magnesium and very good for sleeping... check out my article in the library octopus
 
[Bonesmart.org] pre-surgery fears and blues
Starlight? We haven't heard from you for quite a while. I hope everything is alright with you. Please drop us a post. We want to hear from you.

Take care and please post. We care. [Bonesmart.org] pre-surgery fears and blues
 
Starlight, all I can say is "I feel your pain and anxiety". I am in the same boat as you are right now. Nervous, afraid, but know it HAS to be done. Bonesmart has helped me find the light at the end of the tunnel. I still get butterflies in my stomach when I think about surgery, but I think I can face it now, with the knowledge and support I have already received here. Let's do this together! :)
 
This is rather concerning - according to her profile, Starlight hasn't been back to the forum since her last post on Feb 18th. That's almost a month ago.
 
We can all send prayers her way..sometimes in the midst of pain, there is depression and isolation...when she returns to the forum, she will know that we all have been with her the whole way
 
Starlight, hope your ok. Soon the op will be over and you can start on the road to recovery. X
Aud
 
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