jeaniebug
new member
I am having THR on Monday March 17. I’m 54. Apparently my right hip has been congenitally deformed all my life and I didn’t know it until a month ago when I finally went to see an orthopedic surgeon.
I am having a lot of emotional ups and downs. I’m looking forward to being able to walk instead of dragging my “carcass” around with a lot of pain. I have been so self-conscious all my life about how clumsy I was and how weak my leg muscles were in comparison to my peers. When I saw a cheerleader jump for instance, I knew I could never do that, but I didn’t know why. Not that being a cheerleader was ever my goal. I felt ashamed and depressed being such a klutz and weakling. I became a real loner, but the good news is that I did concentrate on school and was a valedictorian and have BA and MS degrees.
My mobility declined with age, of course, and now I can hardly walk, and the pain is so much worse. I feel like I have let my daughter down particularly, because I have not been able to be what I consider “active” for many years. I have photos of us in Yellowstone Park when she was 4, when I could still walk without pain. Then I just had a limp and was too slow. She is 21 now, and it has been probably 12 years since I was what I consider “active.” I finally gave up gardening 3 years ago, which is what I enjoy most.
I have all the side effects they list with this hip problem, including excess curvature of my lower spine “lumbardosis,” high arch in my foot, my right foot is rotated outward. And of course uneven gait and a limp, and in the last few years increasing pain which is almost unbearable in the last few months.
I do like to look on the bright side, I can have a future that includes being able to walk. I have done way too much sitting in a chair these last few years, and I have always felt sooooo guilty about that.
I try not to get into whining or doing the “why me!” thing, and I remind myself as often as possible that I do have very good things in my life. But, my awkwardness and lack of mobility has affected me to the core. I feel like I let it almost define me. I know that is rather silly, but there it is.
I did have a major change in health insurance coverage in January. Last year I would have had to pay 40% of the cost, this year I only have to pay $100 for surgery and hospitalization. So that is a big one in the “plus” column.
I have to fly to Jacksonville, Florida Monday (from Montana) for a seminar Tuesday. Then come back Tuesday evening. Walking in airports really sucks. Does anyone know what to do to get a cart to drive you from gate to gate? I was just going to ask the gate attendant when I get off the first plane. I will be switching planes and carriers in Minnesota. Can you take a cane on a plane?
So I’m way up, then I’m way down. Yesterday I wanted to lay on the floor and person. I’m not doing that, though. It has been so great to find this forum and talk to people who are in the same “boat.” There are probably some threads related to depression, but I haven’t looked far enough probably.
There are probably as many different kinds of emotional baggage as there are types of surgeries out there. I know it has to affect everyone in their own way. I’m looking forward to not being a “gimp” though. So I love to read stories about being 1 year post and what that is like!
And thanks Josephine for your help.
I am having a lot of emotional ups and downs. I’m looking forward to being able to walk instead of dragging my “carcass” around with a lot of pain. I have been so self-conscious all my life about how clumsy I was and how weak my leg muscles were in comparison to my peers. When I saw a cheerleader jump for instance, I knew I could never do that, but I didn’t know why. Not that being a cheerleader was ever my goal. I felt ashamed and depressed being such a klutz and weakling. I became a real loner, but the good news is that I did concentrate on school and was a valedictorian and have BA and MS degrees.
My mobility declined with age, of course, and now I can hardly walk, and the pain is so much worse. I feel like I have let my daughter down particularly, because I have not been able to be what I consider “active” for many years. I have photos of us in Yellowstone Park when she was 4, when I could still walk without pain. Then I just had a limp and was too slow. She is 21 now, and it has been probably 12 years since I was what I consider “active.” I finally gave up gardening 3 years ago, which is what I enjoy most.
I have all the side effects they list with this hip problem, including excess curvature of my lower spine “lumbardosis,” high arch in my foot, my right foot is rotated outward. And of course uneven gait and a limp, and in the last few years increasing pain which is almost unbearable in the last few months.
I do like to look on the bright side, I can have a future that includes being able to walk. I have done way too much sitting in a chair these last few years, and I have always felt sooooo guilty about that.
I try not to get into whining or doing the “why me!” thing, and I remind myself as often as possible that I do have very good things in my life. But, my awkwardness and lack of mobility has affected me to the core. I feel like I let it almost define me. I know that is rather silly, but there it is.
I did have a major change in health insurance coverage in January. Last year I would have had to pay 40% of the cost, this year I only have to pay $100 for surgery and hospitalization. So that is a big one in the “plus” column.
I have to fly to Jacksonville, Florida Monday (from Montana) for a seminar Tuesday. Then come back Tuesday evening. Walking in airports really sucks. Does anyone know what to do to get a cart to drive you from gate to gate? I was just going to ask the gate attendant when I get off the first plane. I will be switching planes and carriers in Minnesota. Can you take a cane on a plane?
So I’m way up, then I’m way down. Yesterday I wanted to lay on the floor and person. I’m not doing that, though. It has been so great to find this forum and talk to people who are in the same “boat.” There are probably some threads related to depression, but I haven’t looked far enough probably.
There are probably as many different kinds of emotional baggage as there are types of surgeries out there. I know it has to affect everyone in their own way. I’m looking forward to not being a “gimp” though. So I love to read stories about being 1 year post and what that is like!
And thanks Josephine for your help.
United Kingdom
