Depression/post-op blues - open for all

[Coddfish]

@newguy I guess it depends why you run. I am never going to win things, I am never going to be fast, but I really enjoy it. I enjoy weights but that‘s not helping my heart. I also swim but I am efficient at it and it doesn’t much raise my heartbeat, and I couldn’t ride a bike to save my life. When I don’t run, I become lethargic, put on weight and tend towards anxiety and low mood. To me, those are bigger downsides than a faster wear on a hip I had put in when I was 64 years old. I will never run high mileage on it but will run enough to keep myself healthy and manage my mental state.

 

[newguy]

Oh hey I get what you say !!!! As a cardiologist said to me once . You run because you can !! Yes my running was and is who I am . The past few years with the horrible arthritis in my hip did show me how biking rowing and swimming was a way to stay active and healthy to say yep it was time to replace the hip . I will now add WALKING and Hiking to that mix . Once a runner always a runner )) But look at all those ultra marathons in the mountains, those 50 and 100 milers . So many walking so 2 nice new walking sticks in my future!!

 

[myglasshalffull]

Just reading about post op depression which I experienced when I broke my ankle 3 years ago. Fast forward to today, almost 4 weeks post op with hip.
I say the doctors fix the broken bones but they do not heal the mind. My Dad suffered from PTSD after WWII and I say better to break a leg, have it heal and go on with life, the mind is not so easy however.
I've had several bouts of crying in last few days but I have an amazing man in my life that keeps encouraging me, telling me we got through broken ankle, we will get through this.
Most of my anxiety is just because of unknown with possibly more surgery down the road. My xrays were suspect so going back on Tuesday for more. So in back of my mind I'm struggling with the unknown but trying to stay calm.
I appreciate each and everyone one of you that come here to tell their stories and experiences. It's difficult to be so vulnerable when I am someone very independent with active lifestyle. So sitting around and waiting is not in my DNA!

 

[Jaycey]

@myglasshalffull So sorry you are experiencing the blues. For me it happened at about the same stage. I called it the one month slump. You have come far and seen dramatic improvement. Then it just feels like everything stops. Progress is not as visible and the lack of mobility is getting old fast.

Take heart! I'll bet you see a big difference between now and six weeks out.

Can you share why the surgeon thinks you need more surgery?

 

[Layla]

Hello @myglasshalffull
I’m sorry you’re feeling down and anxious. Thankfully you have a loving partner to support you. Hopefully your appointment on Tuesday goes well and brings you some relief emotionally. Please stay in touch and let us know how you’re doing. Hugs

 

[myglasshalffull]

Jaycey,
From what the xrays showed part of implant that goes into femur didn't look right at very bottom.
Because I didn't have original surgery at home (I was on vacation when I had surgery), they had not much to go on so I go back Tuesday for more xrays.
I was told to take it easy until then giving implant every possible advantage so I've been behaving.

 

[MagsE66]

I’m laid in my hospital bed only 5 days in feeling “blue” so it’s good to know you’re out there at the moment.
The long desire to be pain free had not prepared me for how I’m feeling now & im not even home!
Long journey ahead but feel better now I’ve checked in with you guys at 4am in the morning!
Low blood pressure & leaky wound keeping me in hospital. X

 

[Jaycey]

@MagsE66 Hospitals are just not very fun! Hang in there! Once you get home the world will look a lot brighter.

 

[Muddy]

Man I went through this BAD this past July. I wish they had explained to me that I may experience this. I had a complete left hip replacement in June of 2021 and it hit me like a truck that I wasn't the same man I was before the surgery. I wasn't going to be able to do the same job I did before, I wasn't going to be able to deploy and go into combat again and I felt like an utter failure. It was rough...but it does fade especially if you reach out to someone and ak about it. Dont suffer in silence.

 

[dapplega]

Great post @Muddy - I can relate to your words. Hip replacement almost 5 years ago was my first surgery and I was not prepared mentally. I had also never dealt with depression. I hope more people read this thread to help prepare themselves physically AND mentally. I've had two more surgeries since then and was much better mentally prepared. ALWAYS reach out for help. I'm thankful for the great support here @Layla, @mojo and others but especially my folks who dropped everything to come make sure I was ok.

 

[ravenina]

Hey, everyone- thanks for sharing your stories, it makes me feel less alone.

I had my second THR a month ago. Recovery has been slower than my first one. Having patience with myself has been hard.

I don’t live in my home country and have no family to depend on. I’m single and live alone. I have fantastic friends that helped me out and continue to do so but that doesn’t replace having family or a partner. I’ve cried about because of my loneliness a fair amount since the surgery, especially the first week.

I was awake during the procedure (last time I woke up to the hammering; this time I was in a kind of twilight state) and remember the surgeon saying the head of the femur wasn’t coming out easily. I did have an epidural and so didn’t feel anything. But the body remembers trauma even if the mind forgets. I truly believe this.

My surgeon postponed the surgery 2 days and I was discharged on a Sunday so I didn’t even see him before going home. I hurt a lot more. The second night I had to ask the nurse 3 times for more painkillers until I could sleep.

I had a friend stay with me overnight for a week. She left and I was alone but able to do basic things by myself. Other friends stayed with me during the day and helped with food prep, etc.

I feel bad for having to ask for help. I’m only 41. I’m not good with having to depend on people.

I’ve got general depression to begin with, and it’s been hard for me to get out and practice walking. I’ve been making decent progress but there’s still some pain - muscular, I think, I hope - and awkwardness due, I think, to getting used to the new joint.

The second week I was showering alone and all of a sudden the hematoma underneath my incision started spurting blood. I mean like a horror movie. I didn’t know it was the hematoma at the time. Luckily friends came, an ambulance was called, they patched me up and by chance I had an appointment the following morning anyway to get the incision checked. But it was a harrowing experience and my first thought was that I might die that day.

All of my staples came out on Wednesday and the nurse commented how well my skin heals.

I was able to go to a local theater last weekend. I’m seeing friends on terraces for a drink and went to a birthday party last night. I’m getting better but I’m not walking as much as I should and I’m tired of books, tv, movies. Hobbies like sewing or needlepoint or crocheting don’t interest me.

Another worry point was that in the pre-surgical blood work, I had low hemoglobin and hematocrit. I wasn’t on my period so I wasn’t that. My first week I had covid-level fatigue and I finally started taking iron supplements which have been helping. Afterwards more blood tests were done and other levels were off including urea, platelets, but that all is probably from the blood thinners I’ve been injecting. I was able to stop those yesterday.

I can’t just call my surgeon’s office. I live in a country with public healthcare which has been great but there are limitations. I have a follow-up with him July 11.

Thanks for reading; sorry it’s so verbose!

 

[Layla]

Hi ravenina,
I’m sorry to read of your struggles with depression. Thankfully you found a place in BoneSmart to share and not feel so alone. It sounds like you have a great group of care giving friends who obviously love you, that’s a blessing.

I’m sure you’ve heard that no two recoveries are alike, even with the same person, so please don’t let your current recovery get you down. I’m assuming you’ll have the same great result as your first THR. Please have patience with yourself as you’ve recently endured major surgery and healing takes time. At not quite one month post op, you’re in the very early days in the entire scheme of things. I’m surprised you were partially awake during your surgeries. That would alarm me. Like you, I didn’t see my surgeon before I was discharged from my surgery site either and not until I was three months into recovery. I did see his PA though at three weeks post op. I’m sorry about the hematoma, that does sound traumatic and frightening. I believe it would be upsetting to most.

You’re relatively young, as young as you’ll ever be, most likely with a lot of life still ahead to enjoy. I’m sure recovering in a foreign country, away from family is difficult, but thankfully you do have your friends and you have us! Perfect strangers from all over the globe who care enough to try and lift your spirits through support and encouragement. Sometimes I’m in awe of the people we can communicate with here on any given day. Other days, I simply take it for granted, but when you think about it, it’s really pretty special. Like having pen pals as a young girl.

A depressed mood is understandable. You’re not feeling yourself as you heal from the controlled trauma your body endured. You feel dependent and lonely. The more you heal, the more independent you‘ll become and less lonely as you’ll be able to get around with more ease and out and about more often. Go back to your Recovery Guidelines and read the article on Post Op Blues. You’re not alone in this.

Try to let go of the guilt in asking for help, I’m sure you’d do the same for your friends if they were in need and if they are unable to help, I’m guessing they’ll politely decline.

It sounds like you’re getting out and socializing with friends. Maybe you should try to do that more often so you feel less lonely and as a mood booster. Consider committing to a daily walk. Start out slow and increase time and distance in small increments. It could be beneficial in improving your mood and alleviating depression. Get those endorphins going, lol.

Try not to focus on blood work results for now. Your appointment will be here before you know it and hopefully new labs will return normal results. You’ve been through a lot, but things will begin looking up with brighter days ahead.
I hope you have a good week. Hugs
@ravenina

 

[CoffeandCrafts]

@ravenina Hi there! I’m sorry to hear about all that you have gone through and are still going through. I did not have a THR - I had a labral repair for a torn labrum (requiring 5 anchors to be placed) and repair (or bone reshaping) of two types of hip impingement (also referred to as mixed). So, that said, I cannot speak to your procedure but I can relate to the isolation and depression. My surgery was on May 17th. None of our pre-arranged assistance ended up being able to help with my care during the first few weeks of my recovery… my parents both got ill with Covid. My husband works long days. My 17 year old son ended up having to help quite a bit. I know that is also quite different from your circumstances but, like you, I have somehow made it through the hardest part with the help and care I did have access to. For me, I found it quite disappointing how many people said they would help and then did not. But, again, I must move on from that and not carry that with me. I have not been able to get my body moving as much as I should as I’m having quite a bit of pain still and I think a bit of depression tricks me into thinking I am unable. It’s hard to do those things we know will help us most sometimes. I truly am so sorry to hear about the traumatic events that have occurred during and after this surgery. I am here cheering you on to brighter days ahead! I’m looking for them, too. Perhaps we’ll see them soon!

 

[Dduck1968]

I am going through a little depression. Soon it will be 3 weeks post op. I know I have to be more patient but I feel like nothing has progressed in the last 4 or 5 days. I am going through this what if. What if surgery made my hip worse? What if I never get better? Etc etc.

 

[Jaycey]

@Dduck1968 You are in what I called the one month slump. Up to the 3/4 weeks mark improvement seems pretty dramatic. Then everything seems to taper off. Worry not - there is still tons of healing going on. And you hip will indeed improve for a very long time. Remember this recovery takes up to 12 months or longer depending on how long you limped around pre-op.

Patience prescribed in large doses!

 

[Dduck1968]

Thanks for your response. I agree with you. I have to snap out of my stupidity of being in a slump. I know I will feel better in the future. I have to tell myself to be more optimistic. Thanks.

 

[Jaycey]

@Dduck1968 just keep your eye on the prize - a life without hip pain and the limits the pain inflicts. I predict you will see good improvement between now and 6 weeks post op.

 

[Dduck1968]

Thank you for the words of encouragement. That is exactly what I must do.

 

[ravenina]

Hi ravenina,
I’m sorry to read of your struggles with depression. Thankfully you found a place in BoneSmart to share and not feel so alone. It sounds like you have a great group of care giving friends who obviously love you, that’s a blessing.

I’m sure you’ve heard that no two recoveries are alike, even with the same person, so please don’t let your current recovery get you down. I’m assuming you’ll have the same great result as your first THR. Please have patience with yourself as you’ve recently endured major surgery and healing takes time. At not quite one month post op, you’re in the very early days in the entire scheme of things. I’m surprised you were partially awake during your surgeries. That would alarm me. Like you, I didn’t see my surgeon before I was discharged from my surgery site either and not until I was three months into recovery. I did see his PA though at three weeks post op. I’m sorry about the hematoma, that does sound traumatic and frightening. I believe it would be upsetting to most.

You’re relatively young, as young as you’ll ever be, most likely with a lot of life still ahead to enjoy. I’m sure recovering in a foreign country, away from family is difficult, but thankfully you do have your friends and you have us! Perfect strangers from all over the globe who care enough to try and lift your spirits through support and encouragement. Sometimes I’m in awe of the people we can communicate with here on any given day. Other days, I simply take it for granted, but when you think about it, it’s really pretty special. Like having pen pals as a young girl.

A depressed mood is understandable. You’re not feeling yourself as you heal from the controlled trauma your body endured. You feel dependent and lonely. The more you heal, the more independent you‘ll become and less lonely as you’ll be able to get around with more ease and out and about more often. Go back to your Recovery Guidelines and read the article on Post Op Blues. You’re not alone in this.

Try to let go of the guilt in asking for help, I’m sure you’d do the same for your friends if they were in need and if they are unable to help, I’m guessing they’ll politely decline.

It sounds like you’re getting out and socializing with friends. Maybe you should try to do that more often so you feel less lonely and as a mood booster. Consider committing to a daily walk. Start out slow and increase time and distance in small increments. It could be beneficial in improving your mood and alleviating depression. Get those endorphins going, lol.

Try not to focus on blood work results for now. Your appointment will be here before you know it and hopefully new labs will return normal results. You’ve been through a lot, but things will begin looking up with brighter days ahead.
I hope you have a good week. Hugs
@ravenina

Thanks, Layla, and sorry it's taken so long for me to reply. I've been trying to get out and about and not think about the depression. It's been a few weeks of ups and downs; friends are leaving for the summer, and I'm feeling simultaneously anti-social but in need of socialization.

I'm walking more, and the hip feels better every day. I'm looking forward to my appointment with my surgeon on Monday; and hopefully getting back to the gym and on the road to weight loss after. I'll ask him about the blood work results as I'm confident things are off because of the blood thinners.

I've got most of my range of motion back - I can bend down and pick things up with almost no discomfort. I still cannot sit cross-legged as that particular part of my hip has not become flexible yet but it will. Time and patience.

I appreciate you and your kind and patient replies.

 

[ravenina]

@ravenina Hi there! I’m sorry to hear about all that you have gone through and are still going through. I did not have a THR - I had a labral repair for a torn labrum (requiring 5 anchors to be placed) and repair (or bone reshaping) of two types of hip impingement (also referred to as mixed). So, that said, I cannot speak to your procedure but I can relate to the isolation and depression. My surgery was on May 17th. None of our pre-arranged assistance ended up being able to help with my care during the first few weeks of my recovery… my parents both got ill with Covid. My husband works long days. My 17 year old son ended up having to help quite a bit. I know that is also quite different from your circumstances but, like you, I have somehow made it through the hardest part with the help and care I did have access to. For me, I found it quite disappointing how many people said they would help and then did not. But, again, I must move on from that and not carry that with me. I have not been able to get my body moving as much as I should as I’m having quite a bit of pain still and I think a bit of depression tricks me into thinking I am unable. It’s hard to do those things we know will help us most sometimes. I truly am so sorry to hear about the traumatic events that have occurred during and after this surgery. I am here cheering you on to brighter days ahead! I’m looking for them, too. Perhaps we’ll see them soon!

Thank you for your kind message! Being disappointed by people sucks - I've definitely learned who I can count on and who I can't in the past couple of months. I'm sorry your pre-arranged help fell through - I can only imagine how stressful that must have been. I'm glad your son pitched in and helped you - I wish you a speedy recovery and I hope the pain goes away soon! I can relate to the not wanting to move and how depression tricks us into not doing it because we don't think we can. I had an eye doctor appointment today which isn't far from where I live - definitely walkable. I wound up taking a cab there as there's a promotion going and it was cheaper than even getting the bus - but I did walk home and felt good about it. It's just so much easier to stay at home.... Must work on this mental motivation.