THR Craftdee's Made It Through

[CanukTriMom]

@Constanze ,@craftdee

Hi guys

Long time since I posted but I haven't forgotten everyone just been working very hard on rebuilding gait, swimming and cycling up a storm. I am going to post a 1 year update next month on September 16th but wanted to throw my two cents in on the issue of running and THR. My feeling is if you were active before the surgery, you should continue that lifestyle although with modifications. Yet bear in mind, I gave myself 1 full year of absolutely no running just conditioning and strength training to get everything back into line.

I had a plan before my surgery to make sure I spent a year on recovery in terms of core strength, symmetry of my hips, slowly building up strength in surgical leg to match my non operated leg focussing on gluts especially. I have been an Ironman Triathlete for the last 7 years and knew I would have to make modifications to using the "Galloway" method of running. Basically a combination of walk and run with absolutely No Heel Striking! It is all about the form to run without pounding on the heel which sends force right to the hip. Not about speed either.....have to be patient and listen to your body.

I have a great team of sports physios as well as I went to a biomechanics specialist to learn how to run and walk properly as I no longer use orthotics. For the past month I have been working on building my ankles and improving my balance on both sides. Good news is when we watched the videotape of me walking and running barefoot is my hips are perfectly symmetrical ie. No dropping of one hip too make it lower than the other.....all that strength training for the last 5 months combined with cycling and swimming has paid off. Everyday, I stretch. Use my big yoga tune up bals, use my Tens machine on the sore spots, continue with various standard Physio exercises.

Next month I will give a bigger update on a month by month og the year of how I got here a year later. Since my surgery I have completed two century bike rides, completed in numerous open water long distance races of 2 km to 5 km. I focus on what I can do to and what I want to do not what I cannot do. I take care of the aches and pains with building up the non surgical hip that had been compensating for the other hip for the past 5 years.
I have competed in 3 Half ironman relays with a friend who is not a great swimmer....we have finished in the top 15 percent for all 3 races.....ie 15/66 etc. not bad for a 51 yr old woman with a bionic hip! I feel great, lost post surgery weight gain of 20 lbs and loving life! Also still cancer free with NED , no evidence of disease! Doesn't get any better


Donna......you are a rock star and sorry to have rambled on in your post! Be patient, get back to the swimming and give yourself time to adjust to all the new Pieces!

Cheryl

 

[craftdee]

Well hello ladies @Constanze @CanukTriMom and @Jaycey too. I thought I'd pop on to MY thread, there's not much to add but as you ladies visited me I thought it the perfect time to update :cool:

My OS is indeed very "down to earth" Constanze; we didn't discuss every detail of what was or wasn't "allowed" as he pretty much covered it at the very beginning when he told me he wanted me to think of nothing but the hip for 12 weeks (which DID seem like forever at the time, lol) then NEVER think about it again...

We discussed at our first consultation the relative benefits of even having a THR at my age, as the OS I saw in Emergency when I had a fall in February had said that I should be at the stage, and I quote "that you'd rather die than continue to live with the pain" before having a THR. My Guy said that he felt that the beneficial effect on my overall health of having the THR when I was still willing and able to be active generally far outweighed the potential need for a revision that delaying would possibly avoid.

He did say that using the joint more would wear it down more... pretty obvious, and that if there were two ways to do something choosing the lower impact way would be preferable - so if jumping off a wall or using a step were options, use the step... unless you REALLY wanted to jump off the wall Cheryl (Canuktrimom) has shared her alternative running style; it's still "running" but the modified style is the equivalent of using the step to get off the wall

Like Jaycey said, life is too short to keep making allowances for one small part of your body that didn't work the best and has been replaced with something that CAN work the best. My Guy didn't seem to think that a revision were inevitable regardless of "how" I used my hip, and he certainly didn't think that a revision was a short term or particularly daunting prospect either... the only thing for ME was that I had lost a lot of bone in the acetabulum, so I don't have as much room for revision in there as some others may.

In short, he WANTED me to use my hip the way I WANT to use my hip. His exact words were "my job is to give you back, as far as I can, the life you had before arthritis robbed you of it". Mind you, he did also say that if I dislocated my hip post op it wasn't a problem for HIM... but it would hurt ME, that was when we were discussing the relative merits of observing precautions.... I decided to observe them; "HURT" "A LOT" and "ME" in one sentence was information enough even with that he made it my decision, pointed out that dislocation could occur anyway, and probably wouldn't anyway - he gave me information, I made the judgement.

You sound so happy and healthy Cheryl, so glad for you!! Your persistence has really paid dividends, getting your life back is what this whole THR thing is about. I'm glad you have NED too, I had a hysterectomy for CIN2 and still hold my breath every time I have a vault smear... which I did last week, there's nothing like having a bad result to make you appreciate the no phone call to "come and discuss your results with the doctor"- it's crazy but I have been clear for six years now, and still relish the all clear EVERY time! To about the same extent that I used to loathe pap smears to be honest

All in all I am going pretty well. I DO still have real issues with the piriformis syndrome. I've decided that it could have happened anyway, my activity levels for the year before surgery were nothing like they are now... and then all core and upper body, not much involving lower body - so this may have been on the cards if I had been able to use my bum to the extent I can now It does stop me from being AS active as I'd like or anticipated... I literally pay for days if I overdo the exercise, cannot even do a walk without dosing up on pain meds... but I am pretty active and am learning the balance required

The biggest thing, and the most unexpected bonus is that - literally since Day 1 I am in a "good place" mentally... I have suffered from Depression for years, I am thinking now that so many of the triggers for that depression were related to pain and limitations visited on me by my hip. The right hip is starting to show symptoms... well it has been for a few months... but they're not impacting on my life greatly. Now I can see how very much worse my left hip was than I acknowledged (talk about denial) I am certain I will NOT be letting Righty get to anywhere near the same stage before acting.

We have had a family tragedy this last week; my husband's nephew was found dead in his bedroom on Thursday (he was 45, so not a kid... but still we remember him as a kid, I've known him since he was six) The tragedy in this is that it was not unexpected that this would happen; he has had substance and alcohol issues for many years, testament to the poor start he had with his Mother (hubby's sister) and his inability to cope with that start. My SIL finally sorted her life out, but it was too late for Brad and two of his three siblings... though none are sensitive as Brad and therefore not as vulnerable.

It breaks my heart to think that his life was so sad, his death sadder still... dying alone in his room in a Hostel, his mother declaring they can't afford a funeral - her partner works in a pretty well paid FIFO (Fly In Fly Out) job but is a relatively new fixture in their lives and so feels no obligation. We will be paying for it - we are not rich but we have enough to give the poor man some dignity in death, we will not however be paying for the stretch limousine's the same sister insisted on at my husband's father's funeral 22 years ago!

On a happier note, my granchildren are two and a half... we went to a Farm School for breakfast yesterday and it was lovely... REALLY lovely to play chasey with them, to climb up onto viewing platforms with them, to walk around the farm for two hours with them and to do it ALL without giving my hip a second thought I am, finally, very glad I had this done

Bye for now ladies,

See you around
Donna

 

[Hoppy Nanny]

Great progress report Donna @craftdee
So pleased you are finally glad that you had it done!!
So sorry about your hubby's nephew.....how sad for him and you...such a waste of young life. My nephew died under the same circumstances....it's a tragedy for the whole family.
Glad to see you are in a good place mentally, too....that sure helps! Much love Chrissie x



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[Constanze]

Hi @craftdee. I'm happy to read a post from you. So sorry about the death of your hubby's nephew. The damage that drug abuse can do is terrible.
But you seem to be in good spirits - I wish you a good time and no more depression.
It's great you're having a lot of fun with your grandchildren. I don't have grandchildren, but I have 4 daughters and they all have partners, so when we all get together, there's 10 of us! We want to keep the good contact which is sometimes difficult since the girls - well the young women - have demanding jobs that require a lot of overtime. I work at a German authority and that's not quite so stressful. My husband's sister, 2 brothers and the wife of 1 brother will be coming over in October from the UK and we hope everybody will be able to see each other then. Also - we're planning on going to Cairns in Australia again - this time in the Australian summer, but only for a week (in February). We bought a holiday house in Cairns which we let and which one can book through a short-term accommodation agency. In the first week of February we will use it ourselves which we have never done. We are looking foward to that . And we will do a little bit of looking after the house, and see how things are getting on there. But the rest of the time, one can book it. The 3 weeks before that in January, we will be going to New Zealand - great place - rent a car and do lots of tours, and stay in hotels and bed&breakfast places.
I hope you are not affected by the flu so much since you are still having your winter, but I've heard i's mainly in Queensland, New South Wales and Victoria that's affected. We also managed to have a cough when we were in Australia. At the time, Cairns was colder thank Frankfurt - very unusal.
Also give my best wishes to your sister. I hope she is fine and well recovered from her hip OP that took place earlier this year. I remember how her first week or 2 in hospital were rough and there was limited internet access, but I hope everything is alright now. She seems to live in a very "rural" area but a nice one. I'll stop now. I'll write more another time - all the best for you - Constanze

 

[craftdee]

Hello all!

Just thought I'd post from the airport... just went through security (which I was dreading!) and NOTHING! NADA! Not a beep... the security guy did say that their machines are really new, and therefore efficient... older ones may not give the same result, but here's hoping

I'll keep you posted... Melbourne next, then Queenstown New Zealand

Donna

 

[Granny Di]

You are on your way! Yahoo!

 

[craftdee]

Hello BoneSmarties
Time to jump on and update.

We had a great holiday in New Zealand, albeit with a bumpy start: I knew when I typed in my previous post "Melbourne next, then Queenstown New Zealand" I was tempting providence... long story short we missed our flight. eeeeekkkkkk. No more flights direct to QTown that day or the next two days with that airline, nothing into the South Island that day in fact (huh? it was Air New Zealand... where DO they fly???) We decided to get whatever flight with whatever airline we could that day into Christchurch instead; at least we'd be in striking distance of our destination and would only lose one night's pre-paid accommodation in NZ and not pay to stay another night in Melbourne. Of course same-day flights are horrifically expensive, it cost us $900 extra to fly with Qantas (which was $300 cheaper than the patch up job Air NZ could offer) - and we ended up flying from Melbourne to Sydney, waiting three hours then flying Sydney to Christchurch arriving (exhausted) at 10.30 pm. It would have cost us the same to fly the next day anyway, so it was the slightly better option

We stayed with hubby's relatives that night, picked up our hire car from ChCh (instead of Qtown where we were booked to pick it up from) the next day and drove the 485 kilometres down. In the end it was a "happy accident" as the drive down was glorious, majestic and all the other superlatives you can think of; we've been twice before but not at this time of year so seeing all the mountains with snow on was a different experience altogether, and it was a fabulous blue-sky light breeze day BREATHTAKING

The other benefit is that I now know that my hip doesn't set off alarms at, as well as Perth, Melbourne, Sydney or Christchurch airports However just when you think you've got THAT one nailed, you go to get on a domestic flight from Melbourne to Perth to come home.... and the thing shrieks at ya I had mentioned to a staff member at each check point that I had a prosthetic hip, they were ALL really "nice" about it - when the alarm went off on this occassion the lady just used the wand over it - but it didn't seem to be the hip setting it off, so who knows??

The very best thing I have to report about the holiday-and-the-hip is that it was GREAT!! I walked trails that I haven't been able to go near the last couple of trips, I walked for hours at a time, I climbed small peaks (still felt a bit of weakness in the glutes, so I'll be working on that as much as the tendinitis will let me) and even walked in the snow... big deal for us West Aussies

We went to Milford Sound, which was one of the primary reasons for going this time, as we didn't get down that far the first time.... but it was a very cloudy, rainy day so we may just have to go again to try for the REAL views; this experience wasn't rubbish, it was kinda mystical but the pics of the clear days look amazing (don't know the chances of getting a clear day - it receives 8-9 METRES of rain that's nearly 30 FEET of rain a year, so I'm guessing there's a LOT of rainy days)

The other reason we went South again was to do a helicopter flight with glacier landing... and you guessed it, the rain followed us up the coast and the two days we were available it was not possible; back on the Bucket List for that one too. As soon as we got up the coast too far to reach the glacier the weather was again glorious, we have been lucky with all three trips, with only a two or three rainy days on each of them... it's just this time the timing was more critical, ah well, my hip didn't hurt!!

We met up with hubby's relatives in Hanmer Springs, stayed the night there, went to Kaikoura where we haven't been before, lovely, had a 60th birthday party for hubby's cousin and came home. One of the party guests, who we went hiking with last time we were there, is having a THR in November... I gave her a link to Bonesmart, hope you're here Lynne!! I'm a bit worried as she thinks she'll be playing competetive golf by January, and I really want her to read the "give yourself some time to heal" message that you get here... she's saying "I just won't let that happen" when I told her about the Energy Drain, gotta laugh... like YOU've got any say in it

So in short, ALL GOOD.... ah, except for the right-hip twinges. Still not bad enough to get 'er done, but I do now know that it's well and truly worth getting it done eventually. I just can't say how much more enjoyable this holiday was without the pain, limitations AND the constant medicating!! I took no meds the whole two weeks, except for the headache pills on Day one in Melbourne Airport that is

Happy Healing everyone,

Donna

 

[copsham]

Hi @craftdee
Great to hear your news. What a nightmare at Melbourne though. It is amazing to hear of the strength of your hip. My hip has proven strength i.e. when I fall down the stairs the hip was sturdy despite breaking my alternate foot. I am yo yo ing 2 steps forward and one back but still getting there. My big trip to Australia in Sept 2015 had to be postponed so plan is Sept 2016. The snow covered mountains in NZ sound so wonderful and I am amazed at you doing mountain trails whoopee - things to come! x

 

[copsham]

Re Airport Metal Detector
Just been to Jersey and both ways hip set of the machine. When they used the wand the metal in my hip and my foot set it off. Had a thorough "pat down" which I could have done with out but prefer security to be tight than not.Oh well ..... (sigh)

 

[Constanze]

Hi @craftdee - Donna,
Thank you for your report on New Zealand. I can imagine you were fascinated with the snowy landscapes, being from Western Australia. Actually, where I live - in the Rhine-Main area (Frankfurt-Wiesbaden area), there isn't much in the way of snow either. Sometimes it does snow but most of the time, it's just cold and overcast, or there is sleet and slush. The beautiful snow mainly exists in Bavaria, Southern Germany where I grew up (in Munich to be precise). As a teenager, I often went skiing in the Alpes (have heard the Alpes of New Zealand are also famous skiing resorts).

We are planning on travelling to New Zealand in January 2016. But we will only have time to see the Northern Island - maybe the Southern one next time. We will see Auckand, participate in a night walk guided by a Maori, and hopefully see Hobbit Town - the scenery where the Lord of the Ring film was made. On the way back, we will stay 6 days in Cairns Australia again - at our new house - we have only let it out but not lived in it yet.

I'm sorry it was dodgy for you with the planes. Could it be there are more and better connections between Australia and the Northern Island of New Zealand than between Australia and the Southern one? With regard to the hip, I don't think my hip set the alarm off. I got through smoothly At Frankfurt and Abu Dhabi during our last Australia holiday. Finally at Brisbane, the alarm beeped. While I informed the officers that I had an artificial hip, it was apparently the metal in my bra that set the alarm off. However, I got told off. I had to take more and more things off while standing in that arch were they check you with the wand and they still heard beeps. When I was told to take my zip cardigan off, I did and through it from the wand area, where I was standing, onto the conveyer belt and was told: "You don't through objects at the officer". I didn't through the cardigan at the officer. I threw it on the conveyor belt. Normally, I keep calm and behave but at that stage I was panicking because we were both afraid of missing our plane to Cairns. And we nearly did. The plane had waited for us, and luckily, we didn't miss it. It was very slow at Brisbane. First the long queues at the immigration check, then taking a bus from Brisbane International Airport to Brisbane Domestic Airport, then the security checks. We are prepared this time and planned better.

Well it would be nice if we could keep up the contact in bonesmart and report from time to time. Do you still not need your other hip replaced? My right hip is fine. It doesn't need replacing. And how is your sister? Give my love to her. Here place to live would the right place to live for my husband . Wilderness and not so many people, no traffic noise, no stuffy air. He prefers nature to big cities. Best wishes from Constanze

 

[Kim22]

@craftdee Hi Donna how great to hear from you again and I am so happy that your hip is now so good that you could walk those trails and be so active on your holiday.You had a slow start with your recovery so it is great to read how well you are doing now.Apart from the nightmare start to your trip it sounded wonderful.We visited New Zealand in 2011 and because of the earthquake we couldn't visit Christchurch but we did a cruise on Milford Sound and guess what it rained cats and dogs ! It was spectacular but like you I would have loved to see it in good weather.We were very lucky as we spent about 3 nights in Franz Josef and we were able to take the helicopter ride to land on the glacier.We set off at dawn and watched the most beautiful sunrise from the glacier.I felt I was on top of the world so I hope you manage to do it on your next visit.You are so right about the breathtakingly beautiful mountainous scenery on the South Island.We also enjoyed the North Island too.Anyway I just wanted to stop by and congratulate the first anniversary of your new hip.I hope your sister is doing ok too.

 

[Hoppy Nanny]

Happy first anniversary of your hip Donna @craftdee!!!
What a lovely update..... The description of your holiday was delightful & great to know your hip allowed you to enjoy it all.
Do hope your other hip holds off for a few years yet so you can enjoy your new found freedom .

I've had various detector problems at airports ... Some go off & others don't... Who knows!!!

Hope your recovery continues to be just great.... Chrissie xxx


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[Granny Di]

Super inspiring post! People have told me it takes a year and you have confirmed that and that we have to have patience. We will heal.
Your trip sounds amazing too - haven't been there but may some day.
Diane

 

[Constanze]

Hi @craftdee , I was just wondering how you were. It must be hot where you are. We, in the northern hemisphere haven't had any snow - in fact the spring flowers are sprouting. I hope they won't freeze to death, since they told us, winter would finally be coming and it would get colder in January. From 8 Jan to 5 Feb, we'll be going on holiday - first to New Zealand (the northern part), and in the last week to Cairns to stay at my husband's holiday house for 1 week.

I'll have my first race after my hip replacement, tomorrow - the traditional end-of-year run in Flörsheim-Weilbach, the village near Frankfurt where I live: 12.5 Km running.

I hope everything is fine with your hip. How is swimming? Is your other hip ok. My unoperated hip isn't a problem. It feels ok. I wish you all the best for the new year.

Hugs - Constanze

 

[craftdee]

Hello Bonesmarties

Well, it's nearly two years since I had my LTHR... and I've still not managed to get to the OS for my first annual check up... it's on my "to do list", honest.

I have come on here today to share the sad news that my (and of course my sister Fifi, fellow Bonesmartie) Mum has died. She was getting in the car at home on July 22nd and Dad's foot moved off the brake, the car moved backwards, the door she was holding caught her knocking her backwards - she weighed only 40Kg and was easily knocked off balance - she hit her head on the driveway resulting in a massive bleed in her brain.

My hubby and I were at "our" cabin in Margaret River for a break, as we'd had an intense time of hospital and Dr visits and tests for both parents, the results giving a thumbs up for the state of their health (against the backdrop of their age) ... my sister who usually lives 400km from Mum and dad (we live less than 2!) had been up to stay and was on her way home that morning. Luckily Mum was able to dial Fiona's mobile number as my dad is hopeless with such things, Dad told her that he'd got Mum indoors but she didn't look well; Fiona organized my nephew to go and see if they needed help; he was there within ten minutes, called the ambulance straight away - it arrived within ten minutes. Fiona arrived back at Mum and Dad's just as they were getting her onto the gurney; she was still talking at that time. By the time Fiona saw her again at the hospital 20 minutes later she was unconscious. I

Fiona rang me telling me it looked serious. We drove back up immediately, the longest three hours of my life. Half way home we got the call to say there was no hope of recovery, that it could be one hour or a week, but death was inevitable. My heart broke then, she was my best friend as well as my Mum. I know the result would have been the same had I been home, but I would have spoken to her before she left home that last time, and I hadn't talked to her yet that day (we talked every day) as our Mobiles don't work from the cabin and when I tried from the townsite I got her messagebank

A while later my son rang from the hospital and said that they thought she may be in pain but if they administered morphine it may hasten her death and we may not be back; who would have their mother in pain just so they could say goodbye? No brainer. As it happened they did not administer anything, and Mum waited for me. All her grandchildren and most of her great-grandchildren went to say goodbye that afternoon/evening.

We got to the hospital at 9pm and my sister and I stayed with Mum through the night, playing her Nat King Cole favourites and "golden oldies", my husband took Dad home for some sleep... he was in a terrible state, having been interviewed by the police and informed that the Coroner was to be involved. We called them to come back up at 7 in the morning; the nursing staff were fabulous, very considerate of us and respectful of Mum. They asked us to leave the room at 9am so they could "clean her up", we went back to her bedside at about 9.30, she took her last breath at 9.43... leaving us as she had lived her life, without a fuss.

My Dad was having some memory issues before Mum's death, they were definitely worsening but he had been cleared to drive only two weeks before the accident, I drove with him and was confident of his ability... to drive, not navigate, hopeless at that!! We realize now how much and how well Mum had covered for him.

Since the accident, he has really failed. My sister is living with him as he is unable to be left alone. He was admitted to hospital with Sepsis five days after her death, they let him out for the day of the funeral but he was on calmatives and not really "there". He is better than that since he has been home, but is very confused, cries constantly and often cannot find his room... in the house they've lived in for 32 years, it is heartbreaking.

I have Enduring Power of Attorney and have taken over the running of his affairs, - Mum had all the pertinetnt documents together in the safe, as many details as possible already organized - dealt with Mum's estate and kept my usual business going. Fiona has run Dad.... which is definitely "her share". We are looking at Nursing/Assisted Living Homes and are lucky Mum and Dad still lived in a house of substantial value as a good home is not cheap.
I organized Mums funeral as I knew her well, it was "nice", not too sad and instead of placing flowers on her coffin each of the grandchildren and the great-grandchildren placed the "Nanna blanket" she crotched each of them when they were born, it was perhaps an "odd" tribute but certainly personal... she would have loved that they all still had their blankets; the oldest grandson is 39 years old!
In addition my lovely ltttle dog Rocky has gone blind due to an auto immune disease, my hubby has had two episodes of Atral Fibrillation in six weeks (the second whie Dad was in hospital) involving being Cardioverted, I was in Resus when they did it the first time, was quite comfortable with that as I felt it was a controlled evirionment, they tried to get me to go to the "family room" for the second time, but sitting in that dreary room alone, after waiting with him until 3am only to be sent home as they decided to wait until after 8am with my Mum dying only seven days before and my Dad seriously unwell upstairs in the same hospital was NOT what I needed... a really kind senior nurse could see my distress, came and got me from the room and quietly parked me on a chair in the corner of the resus bay; I woke hubby from the anesthetic as I did the first time (the medicos couldn't get him awake) by simply saying in his ear "Stefan!" to which he immediately opened his eyes and asked a bleary "what??"... obvious he's used to me waking him up, lol.

I apologise to the Moderators if this is not an appropriate post for this forum, and will understand if it gets removed, but the friends I made on Bonesmart when I really needed support before and after my THR know how close I was to my Mum so i felt they would understand the self indulgence of this post. I will write "hip news" next time. This life-changing event has taken all my energy for the last seven weeks.
One thing I will say that's hip related; when there's enough distraction, the tendinitis that has plagued me since the replacement was done, hasn't been that much of an issue!!

 

[Jaycey]

@craftdee I am so sorry to hear of your loss. All of us here at BoneSmart send our sincerest condolences. And we'll keep sending positive vibes that the issues with both your dad and husband are sorted soon. Take care of your self and please keep us updated.

 

[MajorHeidi]

@craftdee My deepest sympathy for your dear Mom; what a tragic accident....
And then all the multiples of hardships to go through recently; it must be daunting.

I hope things can get calmer and clearer for you, and wish you all the best!
Claire

 

[craftdee]

Thanks so much @Jaycey I really appreciate the positive vibes - every little bit helps

 

[craftdee]

Thank you, Claire @MajorHeidi
It has been daunting indeed... but on the flip side, I have discovered I am stronger than I thought.

Of course, all the paperwork and tying up of loose ends has kept me busy thus far, I think the next few weeks may be difficult too as there's less distraction from the "Dad Issue". I know many have gone before us but putting a loved one into somebody else's care, no matter how qualified they are and how necessary that is, is pretty challenging. Especially when he has some "good days" and you can't see the necessity. Mind you Fiona is the one who got woken up at 3am the other morning with Dad shining a flashlight in her face; he was fully dressed, down to watch and wallet and ready to "go".... go where? No idea!!

As my Mum used to say (very practical person, my Mum) it'll all come out in the wash!

Hope your hip is still making you happy

Donna xx

 

[Constanze]

Hello Donna @craftdee - so nice to hear from you - an old Bonesmart friend who cheered me up when I needed it - but under such sad circumstances. I'm so sorry about your mum's death and the car accident. Also, it's sad your dad needs care now. I understand fully that he cried a lot. Everybody would do that, certainly, and especially since he seemed a bit frail and sensitive before your mum died. May you have all the strength you need. You seem to be extremely well organised and competent regarding all the paperwork to be done. But don't overwork and ask for help if necessary, considering your hip and all that. You have a lovely family and they will surely help. On the other hand - they need you to be strong so take care. Best - Constanze