Coping with small children and THR

[mdakota]

girton girl. i completley understanding wanting to have your kids first, and i totally understand feeling like your not the parent you can be. i feel that way often, i know what i was like when the other two was young. its not stupid pain is a limitaion just like range of motion. at a certain point you just cant go past. and eventhough it may not be all the time i didnt realize how much i stopped till i was at a complete stand still. here's the flip side. after two great pregnancies, i ended up comming out of work at 4 months and in a wheel chair for the last 5 with dd #3. then there is the after that i'm going thru now. cant have replacement until 4-5 months after because hormones have to stabalize relaxin can cause the joint placement to be off. and i had to stop breastfeeding. (sorry gentleman). the prolactin has an effect too. so now i'm here over a year later and praying every day just to get to 6/08/2009. much love to you and i just wanted you to know that waiting as brave and unselfish as it is especially when your thinking of your baby first might actually have repercussions later. oh and my mom had already had a total when she had my brother.

 

[mdakota]

ooops , one more thing. that relaxin can kick you in the butt, literally. with my hip already being bad the joints loosening how you feel now is good. 4 months after kaylee with the relaxin out of my system there was a definite difference in joint stability. if pregnant again i would be back in the same boat. and now i can take something preg i couldnt.

 

[YoungM]

GirtonGirl, welcome to the BoneSmart! I don't have any children so i can't help you out with experience. But, like the others said, I would suggest getting it now and just be sure you have a support system (husband, mom, inlaws) to help you during the recovery time.

 

[Girtongirl]

I think I've already stiffened - straight after she was born my joints were pretty good, but now its not just my hip, but knees, ankle, wrist etc. all swollen and stiff. I can still pick her up, but have to be careful.

Mdakota - did you stop breastfeeding (more apologies!) because of the meds, or the op, or some other reason? I'm still going, but wondering when to switch over to formula.

btw - thanks for all comments - I'm really convinced now its the right thing to do

 

[mdakota]

i saw os right before i went back to work, told him i was ready for us to do this and he asked if i was nursing i told him yes. he said he wouldnt do it until 3-4 months after i was thru because it would take till then for my hormones to return to normal. now one of the benefits was i didnt have to worry about the meds, but he actually said it.

 

[Girtongirl]

Ahh, the OS here didn't mention it, so maybe I will when I see him in a couple of weeks - thankyou

 

[mdakota]

no problem. i really hate to tell someone that i planned the whole time to nurse. it broke my heart but this is something i need that will be for her too. i cant wait till i can take her to the park more and on walks. baby is fine with whatever i do as long as she gets time. it is much harder for me to explain to my 12, and 8 year old. when i have to say no to them because i hurt it really gets to me.

 

[Girtongirl]

Oh Mdakota - your post makes me so sad for you - it sounds so tough. Roll on your surgery and your new life.

 

[mdakota]

Oh Mdakota - your post makes me so sad for you - it sounds so tough. Roll on your surgery and your new life.

please dont be sad for me, the wierdest thing is that i didnt realize how much pain stopped me for a long time, the last year has been the hardest but believe me i have to much fight left in me to give up. i'll fuss and complain some but for the most part here is one of the only places i really talk about it. if it wasnt hard i wouldnt have decided to do this. you know a few months from now i look forward to reading these posts wondering if it was really like this. that is the beauty of modern technology. there was a time when a wheel chair would have been it. but now i look so forward to a new start. this is the end of one long journey but the beginning of an even better one.

 

[Karen54]

mdakota - I love your attitude!!

 

[mdakota]

my os has known me for a long time, he knew my mom too. she used to send him stuff from alaska, he has the prettiest blue eyes. makes you feel better just to look at him. he asked about how i was going to handle my kids and this surgery. i think he thinks i dont know what i'm in for some times. i do i know exactly. i've watched the actual op and i remember what it was like when i was little. but i know the op is temporary. it is a definite steback with alot of hard work, but what i'm going thru what we are all going thru is progressive and permanent unless we do something to change it. some of us are using canes, walker, wheel chairs already by the time we make the decision. some of us have found out recently and with new technology dont have to wait so long or get to that point ( a blessing to be sure) for people that were kids like me the rule was make it as close to 60 as you can. that isnt the case anymore and for the younger people on here dont miss a day. dont let yourself suffer for years or not be the parent you want to be if you have a option to change it. if i hadnt had the former drilled in my head for years i would have. i have no desire to be a martyr. i love you all and pray that each and everyone of us becomes the next groups inspiration.

 

[Judles]

You go, girl!!! With your marvelous attitude you'll be feeling good before you know it!

 

[Jamie]

Beautiful post, Dakota. You are gonna be GREAT in rehab with that attitude!!!

 

[YoungM]

Loved your post, Dakota. Very true!

 

[mdakota]

yall are sweet. i've seen the damage this can do to someones self esteem and i've got to tell you. i've done to much in my life for people to pitty me. i have my days where i can get down but their only days. i'm me and this is something that can be fixed. if i can say anything to help someone fight just a little harder and remember they can get thru this and not to give in thats what i want to do .