TKR Blues

[clovergirl59]

Wow I read about the blues when I first came here and today I have them. Didn't really think it would happen to me. I am the glass is half full, look on the bright side kind of person. Not today! PT was tough but not horrible yesterday. I am a bit puffy and stiff today so I have been icing all morning. I guess I am just frustrated that I am not making as much progress as they think that I should. Tomorrow will be 4 weeks since my surgery. I got to 90 degrees pushing it, 80-85 on my own and went from 14 to 6 on straightening. They tell me that my quads are extremely weak and my hamstring is very tight. I just want the stupid thing to bend and straighten like it should without hurting so dang much! I really don't hurt much except when doing PT and they are being really good about stopping when I say stop. I just want to get back to normal NOW. I don't like this weepy feeling, it is not ME. I know that only bonesmarties will understand how I am feeling today. Thanks for letting me vent.

 

[Jamie]

Awww....Clover. So sorry to hear the blues have hit you with a whallop. It happens and with a little patience, it will pass. Here are some things you can do to help it pass. Get plenty of sleep. Be sure you are treating any pain and swelling you're having with meds in addition to the icing/elevating. Drink plenty of water and try to eat as healthy as possible (protein, fruits, veggies). Protein is especially important. Treat yourself to something fun like ice cream or chocolate. Make a list of things that are positives about where you are in recovery....look back to your pain before surgery and immediately after to see how far you've come. Call a friend to come over with lunch. Find a book or movie you've been meaning to enjoy and then go for it!

But most of all, just be kind to yourself. This is such major surgery. You are entitled to be overwhelmed at times during recovery. It is NO WALK IN THE PARK!!! The blue feelings will pass, and when they do, you'll be able to fully appreciate the progress you and your new knee are making.

 

[Jacky48]

Clovergirl, you hit the wall and it hurts! I too am a glass half full personality and man when the blues hit, it was worse than the knee pain. The positive thing to remember is that both the blues and knee pain will pass! You are brand new out of the gate at 4 weeks, your flexion and your extensions are not god awful at four weeks so cut yourself some slack. Jamie is so right, think back to before you had TKR and the pain you were in and remember you are going forward eventhough it's not as fast as anyone of us would like, it is going forward! Go out side for a moment and breathe in the fresh air. Treat yourself like Jamie said, it does help lift the mood!

Stay well and try and stay positive my friend!

 

[Titianlady]

Aww, clovergirl..I'm so sorry you feel so blue. I sure know how that goes.. I started crying my eyes out one morning about 3 weeks into recovery. It is such a long recovery, and improvements come in small amounts, and take such time. It just feels endless sometimes..moves so slowly we feel like it never will end. We know in out minds that it will all be great in time, but emotionally it is a tough time.

Big (((((((((( HUGS ))))))))) for you sweetie. We understand.

 

[maryo52]

OK, totally normal. I had the same outlook. Oh boy. It was bleak.

I'm having a New Age-y suggestion. That's to look at your knee as something other than "stupid." We have to love our knee, have sympathy for it, shower it with affection, cater to it. Our knee is key to resuming the kind of life we want. Darn it's slow but since your knee is in charge, maybe you should become best friends with it. Call it "spiritual" work or whatever. The bleaky blues are not your fault but they are challenging you to develop a new layer of philosophy to living.

 

[clovergirl59]

Thank you guys so much. I cried as I read your posts, but they did make me feel better. It helps so much to hear from someone who has been there. You all have great suggestions. I am going to try to stop looking at my knee as the enemy. I know that this will pass but I sure wish it would hurry up!

 

[maryo52]

Maybe we should regard our TKR knee as a newborn baby!!

 

[Nanners]

Clovergirl big hugs! I am at 11 weeks now, and still occasionally have those tearful days. This is a long recovery that takes alot out of us, so the tears will come every so often. I think in my case I get frustrated that I am not moving as fast as I like. Then I start thinking and then worrying and yup here comes the tears. Hugs!

 

[Creeker13]

I found that I had a day @ week 2 that I was very angry and frustrated at the Drs. and several others who never seem to feel I had a problem and that I was just a whiner, pre surgery. Probably my fault as I tend to make light of my pain and discomfort and get tired of listening to my own whining. I found the anger and frustration brought me to tears easily... Something I try to avoid like the plague. It seems like I have waited so long for surgery because I was too young and my knees were not bad enough . Now I focus on the fact that all of those years and injuries are now behind me and each little accomplishment brings me closer to an easier life without the constant ache and limitations. So far that is working for me... I am just thankful I am on the recovery side with one new knee (soon to be good) and one bad knee!
It's ok clover girl..... We will get there.... one day at a time!

 

[robynhood]

Clovergirl my op was October 13th a little before you and this week I have been WEEPING for everythig. From thinking my husband was taking too long to make a cup of tea to feeling frustrated at my swelling knees. But today its better. No swelling, cups of tea on time (mostly) and i just feel so much happier and content and looking forward to my knee working properly in the future. Sending you hugs from the UK (((((((((((( ))))))))))))))) Feel better soon x x

 

[AZRoxie]

Happens the best of us... we all understand and have been there :-( Be kind to yourself and get out of the house and just think of the progress you are making, you are doing really good... I am 10 1/2 weeks and just got my left to 110 and my right to 122... so it will happen when it is ready.. remember who the boss is!
I still have the occasional day that out of nowhere I get teary eyed for no particular reason, sometimes it is frustration cuz I have such high expectations for myself and then when someone who knows this is MAJOR surgery remonds me that I am doing great I think about what my body went thru and still is!
Hang in there!

 

[Creeker13]

And when you go out don't be shy.... Use an empty chair in the restaurant to raise your leg while sitting and eating, take an ice pack if you need, and use the handicap washroom with all the nice bars to help you, that is what they are there for.
I went to our Sunday meatdraw at the Legion pub the first week after surgery.... I was using my walker, had my daughter set up a chair for my leg and took my ice machine with me.... (boy did I need the ice) I got a cheer from everyone as I walked (hobbled) in and hubby and daughters got my tea for me (way to many good drugs to have any wine). It was a short outing but it made me feel so good that it still makes me smile when I am feeling challenged or down. (No one cheers now of course but at the time I needed it)

 

[Polly Molly Me]

Oh, I totally agree about getting out for awhile. I love the outdoors and being cooped up for so long is very difficult. So whenever I get the chance to take a short drive through the country especially on a sunny day, I do it! Not much lifts my spirits like that does. Then just a little coffee to sip at a drive thru.... life is getting better everyday!

 

[Jebsw]

It always helps to vent, and to know we're not alone. And as you can sure tell, we all go through the weepy times. And it's okay. Things move amazingly slowly with this recovery, but they do indeed move, and they get better.

 

[Brownie51]

It's uncanny how similar our journeys are right down to the emotions. Thank you all for sharing your feelings and Clover I hope the new week brings a new sense of wellness about your "new baby" knee!

 

[Josephine]

Me too! In fact, I was blubbering so much when I rang my GP, she put the phone down and came straight over to see me! I was lucky in that I live only 3 mins drive from the surgery. She spent about an hour with me which was very helpful.

 

[Jebsw]

Wow! That would be totally unheard of here. I'm glad she was there for you, Jo.
Clovergirl, you are SO not alone!

 

[Marina blue]

Clovergirl...I went through exactly the same thing as you. I cried all day every day for 2 weeks. I know the feeling is awful, but it finally goes away. I vented here and all my friends here have helped me through, just like we want to help you. It's tough, but so are we !! Hugs to you sweetie...Gilda

 

[clovergirl59]

You guys are amazing. Thank you for understanding! If it wasn't for you and my hubby I would be nuts. He actually cried with me the other night. I saw the doc on Monday and he brought up MUA. I wasn't too surprised since I had to have it with my first one. I know that my first one was painful, but that was 17 years ago and evidently I have blocked all that out. (this doc didn't do my first one) He is going to give me 2 more weeks to work on it and he upped my pain med and added a muscle relaxer. The therapist says my muscles are very guarded. The quads are atrophied. I yelled at one therapist, they were doing good cop, bad cop and he was up on the table with me leaned over with all his weight pushing down on my leg trying to get it flat. I tried to relax and let it go, but I finally couldn't take anymore and told him to stop and then I yelled and said "I'm not kidding, stop" then I got upset and embarrassed and cried. I don't cry in public. Then she had my lie on my stomach and she massaged the back of my knee which felt good and hurt at the same time. Lo and behold after the massage I straightened it on my own. That's when she suggested that I ask for a muscle relaxer. Today I have been very sore and feel bruised. I am going to do a few of my exercises tonight, I have mostly slept and iced today. I go back to therapy tomorrow and will have the pain pill and muscle relaxer on board. Doc is not sympathetic at all. Acording to him I am supposed to hurt at this point, therapy is supposed to make me cry. Well, they are doing their job that's for sure. Oh, he also told me to think of therapy as labor and to do the lamaze breathing, work through the pain. I told him that I had a cesarean section I didn't go through labor!

 

[Polly Molly Me]

I'm sure that others will have some great input for you. I can only speak about a similar experience I had in rehab at the hospital. Since I was totally naive about the whole TKR surgery and all that follows, I was of course nervous whenever anything was expected of me in rehab. Even so, I did not expect to be mistreated or forced to do exercises that hurt, so during one therapy session I was totally taken by surprise when 2 therapists (both were females and not all that strong) held me down while the other one pushed so hard on my bent knee that I slid up the table. I did let out a holy holler and tried not to cry. And one other time in rehab, it was a simlar incident with the same therapists and that time I shouted NO! stop it! I only had 2 days before going home, and my mind was made up. I knew I was afraid of what they might do to me, and I was NOT going to put up with that anymore. I was determined that those girls would never get their hands on me again. When I left rehab, I went directly to the therapist I've got now. And I'm so glad that he has not and would not treat me that way. For me, I believe the fear of what was coming and what they might do to my poor hurting knee and muscles, kept me so tense and stressed that there was no way I could cooperate or relax. Now I don't say all of this to imply you should do what I did, I'm only letting you know that I understand the kind of stress and fearfulness that goes with forced exercises. Any exercises with pressure on my leg ( with my current therapist) is done by ME with him guiding and supervising. I am in charge of how far I want to go. I actually have not feared a single therapy session. Being in control of your own therapy (to a certain degree) is liberating at a time when you feel so helpless.

I am sending warm hugs to you!