Hi all! 11 weeks out now. I saw my doctor 3-4 weeks ago, and we have a follow-up in November. I am still cane bound out and about, but when I'm in my apartment I don't use it. The limp is becoming less and less severe, but he told me that until its completely gone I shouldn't get off the cane for long distances. He also said that I should focus on not limping because if I go too far too fast the limp becomes permanent. I wasn't sure if I should take that with a grain of salt or not, I have a huge problem trusting doctors (for very good reasons).
I couldn't find me mentioning it here, but I was still lost on what caused my AVN. My current surgeon is convinced all the scans point toward alcoholism (that my friends and family believe is nonexistent), as the damage was sectional and not widespread. I was slightly confused as I have heard nothing about being able to read scans like that (all my medical article searches found nothing). I also found out a few weeks ago that growing up my pedatrician gave me prednisone for about 6-8 years growing up. I don't remember it too much, but it makes a large amount of sense. Right around the age I was off prednisone is when my fevers and stomach pain started. Now we know my disease was under treatment from the prednisone (all they knew was that my asthma cleared up under it) and it started kicking up.
I am still down the weight, I am at 160 now, down from 195. 3 years ago before starting enbrel I was 230. I try to accept that this will stick around but I hear a lot about how everyone loses weight after the replacement but gain it all back. I keep a stricter diet than I used to, especially since I'm not running. I lift weights with my arms, and I swim at my apartment. I've been on travel for work so I tried the elliptical twice on my travels. I'm not sure if its a good idea, I feel some pain, but the next day I get a lot stiffer for at least half the day. Maybe its what I need, I have issues pushing myself though, I enjoy it too much (being a runner I liked to try to shave minutes off whenever I could), I feel I've been stuck in a hospital bed too much in my short life.
Not sure what to do, I definitely want to get back into being physically fit again. I've had too many days stuck in bed from fevers and arthritis, its relieving to feel that quiet soreness from a good day. The feeling of having the ability to do so much more than I used to be is amazing too. I miss running a lot, I have yet to find a good substitute. I was considering taking but Kendo, I enjoyed the couple times I got to practice it, and I've been meaning to start for years (equipment can be expensive) but I'm not sure I'm ready yet.
I have 16 days before a singles mixing event, and I really don't want to be on a cane at that point. I'm not sure what is going to play out, I'm over my ex but I just can't seem to get out there because I'm so embarrassed of my disability.
I went on travel for work, we had to audit a nuclear plant in New York, while I live in Texas. My parents live in MA and my grandparents were visiting from NJ so I took a flight out to see them. The flying (carrying around a 50 pound roller bag, even just to the counter for check in, carrying around my laptop bag) was rough, all the walking can get hard (they even made me walk from terminal to terminal when my flight was changed around due to delays), the hotel beds are not comfortable at all (I wake up in a lot of pain). Luckily they decided I could not go in the plant (was a little disappointing, walkdowns can be very interesting) all the crawling under cable trays, going up and down ladders and stairs, and hiking around for 5 hours would not have gone well. Its a lot easier at my parents, but my diet is not doing well! I'm sure once I get back I can reset myself to a much more reasonable diet, especially after eating out for a week and a half (I left a lot of leftovers in my hotel room).
I was able to apply to a few positions up here, my boss basically gave me 6 months to "improve". Which is mostly because when I was placed in the new section I had to revamp the whole thing and refused to sign any reports from tests that were not up to the standard we were claiming to test to. He's a business man so he only understands "it was working until he got there" and by "working" I found they just did not do any repairs or updates for the last 6 years to save money. Its extremely disappointing and I had to really push to get the reforms we needed. Of course now its running better and I get transferred back to my old position. We work on contract work and I have to rebuild my business contacts for a third time. I'm kind of sick of working as a Fire Protection Engineer in private industry, the positions I am looking at are more public sector, I am too geared toward safety and doing things right to worry about a bottom line all the time. I refuse to compromise my word as an engineer.
Things are looking up, I could use to feel like I'm less in a transition. My right hip seems to be getting worse at a very very slow speed, my little brother is getting married next June and I really want to be up to snuff at that time. I'm not sure if I'll need another replacement before that (I have enough vacation and sick hours starting February), if I can convince my doctor that I need one (as I seem to have to fight for anything to be done), or if I'll be cane bound on the OTHER side at the damn wedding. Too much is in flux...
Raven
United States
