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Revision TKR Still having difficulty .... from Amberpep

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I live in Frederick, MD and the doctor and hospital which are the best at revisions are in Baltimore. Well, I just looked at both Google maps and Mapquest and OMG, it is soooooo complicated to get there into the city and the hospital. I have no sense of direction, and my Garmin does not work. It scares the bejeebers out of me!
I know this is stupid, but I'm thinking of checking in with my original doctor who did the RTKR. Now, I'm really wound up.
abby
1990's - 2 menisectomies
2011 - RTKR
212 - scar tissue removal
 
I agree with pumpkin. You need good specialists. As much as I love my OS who will do my other knee in the fall if I had any issues I would not hesitate to see a specialist.


RTKR - 9th December, 2013
 
I know you are right, but I just don't know what to do. I can't afford a taxi both ways - it's $50 one way to Baltimore and then both ways it would be $100. I just don't have that to spare .... I have a very tight budget.
abby
 
If it were me I would drive to a shopping mall or other public area as close to the doctors office as I could and take a cab from there. This way it should be a lot less expensive for the cab ride. Also sometimes directions are given on the doctors website that should be easier for you or your friend to follow.


RTKR - 9th December, 2013
 
I never thought of that ..... that's a really good idea .... thanks much! That I could do.
If you can believe this, the doctor's Receptionist did not know how to get there from the highway I would be coming from! And, it's one of the main 4 highways branching out from the Baltimore Beltway! Google and Mapquest are horrible ..... OMG .... I could wind up in Mexico!
Thanks again.
abby
 
So glad I could help, Abby. It is what I would have to do. Just think its important to get the best evaluation you can. I hope the rest of your weekend is great. Happy Easter!


RTKR - 9th December, 2013
 
Abbey, if the receptionist tells you she does not know who to get to her own office---then simply ask for someone who can---the problem is the ignorance of the receptions, not you. Make her solve the problem.
so, I would call and tell them that I need written instructions of how to get to the Doctor's office from your house. You can Google that on google maps---but so can the doctor's office. They can send you directions.

Also, I agree get as close as you can--if you get confused, call a cab from a mall. Make sure you leave early and give yourself some extra time. If you get there too early you can apply shopping therapy to your knee.
 
This is causing you WAY TOO MUCH STRESS! It just burns me when I hear about adult kids with "no time". I have 4 kids and I have experienced this type of insensitivity, but I'm happy to say when I had my LTKR in February my 4 kids, ages 21-42, took turns being here. I'm not bragging, they have behaved poorly before at times, just this time they really came through. It made a world of difference to me and my husband.

My point though is, ASK your kids to pay for the taxi. It would be under $35. a piece from what you say. Do you need to stay in a hotel, eat out? Ask for that too. I don't care how old they are they need a reality check, if I may say so. Been there, done that. It isn't easy but you need/deserve it just because you are their mother. It is a matter of respect. You are in my prayers, Abby.
 
I think Ravenwood is on the right track here. When I go to Chicago--two or three times a year, my kids pay for the tickets. So, just say, son, I know that you are too busy to take me to my appt, but could you help me with the taxi? It will cost $50 for me and a companion to go to the doctor's office and then I will not worry about getting lost---or even drive part way there and ask for whatever you need. If he has a good job, he can surely spare some money that will make your life easier--and he is off the hook for being there. My kids are happy to help me---there is no money in our budget for travel and I think your son will be glad to help out without the guilt of not being able to be there.

A friend told me that her insurance would pay for so many days of home care--a helper who comes in threee days a week to help with showers, meals, etc. If you don't have insurance, ask your kids to kick in $100 each and hire someone---even a high school student for the afternoons. It is cheaper for them than missing a day of work and the transportation to your house.
 
Hi friends .... I know you're both right. I've never asked my kids for anything, although I did ask my son, this time, if he would take my dog if I needed anything done. He has a dog and he has a dogwalker come in at noon. I hate to say this, but I'm extremely uncomfortable asking them for anything like that. I don't know why. Today is Easter and my whole family is at my daughters. I can't drive down that far 4-5 hours because I can't keep my knee in one position that long and my right knee is the one with the TKR. I usually don't mind this, but for some reason, this year it's just crumby. So, the thought of asking for money just makes my skin crawl, even though my son is a patent lawyer in D.C. and makes very good money and one of my daughter's husband inherited a caboodle of money from his grandmother. My daughter wants me to move down there where they are. She said "we have hospitals here too" (best is UVa 1 hour away), and "it would make it easier for us when you got old" ....... that REALLY made me want to move down .... NOT!
If I do have to have more surgery, I'm going to have Visiting Angels come in 3 mornings a week to do the things I won't be able to do, and I have a close girlfriend in PA who said she's coming down for a week to help out. She did that when I had the original TKR and it was wonderful ..... I was able to rest, eat well (she's a great cook), and get lots of sleep.
Sometimes I think that "if it fits into their schedule" my kids will come .... otherwise, if they have to work (and I understand that), or some such, "they can't come."
Sorry about the complaining ..... I'll do better next time. Oh well, I'm really putting the cart before the horse ..... maybe I won't have to have anything done anyhow.
abby
 
Oh, Abby, you are not complaining ! You are lonely, disappointed, sad and many other things perhaps. It is just myself, my husband and our daughter here today. I miss our 3 sons, grandson, and the ladies in their lives. It is very, very quiet. They are out of state and out of the country! Still, it is enough, more than enough. I am so, so sorry you are without family and they couldn't have gone to get you.

I wish you were near and we really "knew" each other. My husband would tuck you into the back seat of his big gas-guzzler, ice packs and all, and bring you over. We're having a simple Easter dinner but with 2 homemade desserts( white cake with chocolate frosting and a sinfully delicious chocolate cream pie) thanks to a daughter who loves to bake. You and I could sit around and rest, ice and elevate LOL and visit.

We'll set a place for you, seriously, keep you in our prayers and wherever you are, you are not alone in thought and spirit. This day will pass, your family will(hopefully) wake up a bit and you will get the care you need.

Consider yourself hugged...
 
Hi Ravenwood .... thank you so much for your kind reply. Yes, it's been a rough day. I just came back from visiting a friend of mine who lives in the condo below me ... she and I are good friends, she's a retired schoolteacher, and often has a more healthy perspective than I do. Everything she told me I already know, in my head ..... that's the key. Somehow it's the "doing" that is the tough part. I told her I was thinking of either going back to my original O.S. or just not doing anything at all about it. She about had a fit, and rightly so. I just hate asking my kids to do anything for me, always fearing I'll be asking too much. But, I agreed that tomorrow night I'll call my son and tell him I need help. I would like him to come to my place some Sunday and drive me down to the hospital in Baltimore so I know where I'm going for the appointment. She looked at both my knees and my right one is about 2x the size of the left one, so something is going on in there. I do need to find out what it is. Thank you so much for your kind words. I really appreciate it.
abby
 
Abby,
2x larger, sounds like something is wrong, and you do need to find out what it is.
All the best in finding a workable solution to get to the office for your appointment. Sounds like a good plan to have your son drive you there on the weekend so you know your way to your appointment.
:friends:
 
I agree with going to the revisionist---you need a specialist to get this right.

Remember, family is there for each other---and you should not have any reservations about asking somebody for help---that is what a family does---family members are there for each other.

It is important that you get to this appointment---and your family should have no problem helping you get there.

Remember---you were there for your children when they needed you; they will be there for you when you need them.
 
Yes, I know you're both right. I'm going to call him tomorrow.
Thanks for your honesty .... I need that. 2x the size definitely indicates something is wrong.
abby
 
Sounds like you have a plan today Abby. Make those calls and that alone will ease your mind some because you will be one step closer. My knee was always 2X bigger than you non TKR knee before my revision. If I had to ride in the car in one position for an hour I'd be crying before I got to where I was going. We totally understand.

Our Easter was very quiet too. We drove about 20 miles to see my son at his new house with his Fiancée' and her 7 year old daughter. We took the daughter an Easter present, visited about an hour then came home as they were going to spend the day with her BIG family at her Aunts house. Quiet all day long at my house, around 4pm my daughter and her husband came over and we grilled for dinner. They are both school teachers so they didn't stay late with school tomorrow. It was just different and made me remember Easter's past...everything changes, nothing stays the same whether we like it or not.
 
Abby,
Wishing you all the best, getting to the revisionist will start you on the road to find answers, and recovery.
 
RunA and everyone .... thank you so much for your encouragement. I appreciate it and need it today. I am about a hair away from cancelling and just living with it. But, I am going to call my son tonight and tell him I need help. I'd like him to drive me to the hospital so I at least know how to wind through those streets of Baltimore. I'm sure I'll hear a sigh, and an "I don't know ... I'm awfully busy at work ..... can't someone else take you?" Maybe I'm wrong but that's what I anticipate. When I had my RTKR, my oldest daughter never once came up. She has 2 kids and I get that, but her husband also works 3 days, and has 3 days off. She could come up then, leave the kids with him, and maybe even ask him to take a few days off from work so she could stay longer ..... I doubt that would ever happen but it would be nice. My other daughter came up for the 3 days of Memorial Day weekend when I was in rehab. and brought me lunches and dinners as the food there was atrocious.
I'll keep you all posted. Thanks so much .....
Hugz,
abby

abby
 
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