luvinlex

Don't let your children grow up to get Art degree. ( actually, I only say that because it's so hard to make a living and w all the new design technology, you constantly need to stay up to date in your knowledge of Illustrator, Photoshop, and now there is coding and 3-D so I decided to do more things I like. Redecorating, party planning, flower arrangements, and buying and selling on Ebay. ;-) Moved from a large house, w 2BR, foyer, LR, DR, Kitchen, Office with double doors out to MY lovely backyard with landscaping done over the years. Add to that. A whole room as a closet with rods and shelves on all walls, and next to that a half bath. So lovely. UNTIL, the man I loved was brushing his teeth one day and told me (after 9 years ) "I don't want to do this anymore" and I feel my life and happiness stopped that day. I had to get rid of the house - too much to handle. Put my stuff in storage, move to a nearby city with BFF and her family in super large home. During that time, my mother had a heart attack, for 3 days before my brother would take her to the hospital. By then, she was in organ failure and needed stents, and thought she'd die. She was tossed around from hospital to rehab to home back to ER into hospital and finally asked me "Am I going to die?" I told her I thought she was. Then, she asked me "please don't let me die in one of THESE places, take me home" --- so after another stay in a wound care center for 30 days isolated because she couldn't hear well or see well so no TV. I thought she was being walked and getting out of bed each day and she said she was. When my brother picked her up to come home. She had a knee length robe on nude underneath and socks. Got her out of car. She could NOT walk, she'd never been out of that bed for 30 days. We made it into the house.. she'd sit, stand, we'd put chair under her, she'd sit, stand and it went on till she got in the house. I can't explain how sad it was. No brothers helped and me, alone...w Hospice care only washing and changing her bed. We got special mattress, and I became her nurse. Packing her bed sore, cleaning her bed. But, she always looked lovely, nails polished. But, as they tell you to increase the drugs, she starts to slip away, can't swallow anymore, can't talk and goes into a coma. After the right amount of morphine, I had overdosed her. Those two events changed me forever, I'll never be the person I was before all that happened. I got a small apt. Have a cairn terrier. Hip replaced and waiting to get back out into the world again, sorta. When you are forced to become a recluse it seems natural and a bit hard to get out of. I am 4 1/2 months post op. Just ended OP Physical Therapy. I had no clue I was being charged $208 a pop and they did nothing but sit and watch me. Still have a pinch and ouch at times. Massaging scar so it doesn't adhere to anything since ouch seems to radiate from scar. Do other people say this much about themselves???