Depression/post-op blues - open for all

[Sheperdess]

Not mentioned are the emotions and struggles faced by our caregivers; husbands,, friends and family. My husband has been the best and most supportive of anyone I could wish. I thought we had everything prepared fairly well before surgery. But afterwards reality kind of sank in. We live on a small farm and I'm usually the one who feeds everyone and cleans all the pens, etc. Suddenly he was in charge and had an enormous adjustment. He had to take care of me, the house snd all the animals. I could tell he was down and overwhelmed. It took about a week for everything to settle and fall into place before he was able to find a routine and "smile" again.

 

[Wayii]

It can be a real roller coaster emotionally.


I had my left hip replaced on October 12th. The surgery itself was traumatic. I reacted badly to the Celebrex and as a result they couldn't sedate me because I had severe nausea. I just was not prepared for the extreme body horror of it all. As soon as the spinal wore off, I lit out of the hospital and fled home. Fortunately, my team was fantastic and I was able to get home same day.

First week, I was NOT in a good place mentally. There was a lot of crying, dark thoughts, and frustration. I discovered that I have real issues with being that physically dependent on anyone. If my husband wasn't as patient and hadn't been such an excellent recovery partner, I'm not sure how I would have gotten through that first week.

It got MUCH easier through the next week or so. I was able to sleep better and as a result, I felt far less negative. Finding the right medication schedule also helped a lot.

It's kind of difficult to articulate the emotional turmoil I was dealing with through my recovery. There's this mixture of fear and pain that just seems irrational and out of proportion. And I was just so disgusted with myself at times. I'm in my late 50s but I felt like my MIL in her 70s was more able and industrious than I was.

That said, mentally I'm in a much better place now. I'm ready for my right side THR on the 21st. I think that at least mentally this surgery will be a little easier than the last, even with the fear of the possibility of being stuck awake and aware during the procedure again.

 

[Wayii]

Not mentioned are the emotions and struggles faced by our caregivers; husbands,, friends and family. My husband has been the best and most supportive of anyone I could wish.

This cannot be emphasized strongly enough. My husband showed an enormous amount of strength and patience through all of this. It is a lot to carry. For that first week, all of those things that I normally did for us were on him in addition to his job and my care.

This was no small thing.

 

[Layla]

Hi @Wayii
We're happy you're here and thank you for your willingness to share the uncomfortable aspects of recovery that many deal with.

I'd like to encourage you to start a thread, where you can also journal some of this to reflect back on at a later date. I'm guessing you'll enjoy having your own space where we can all interact with you. We also have some Recovery Guidelines to share of which much will still apply. Please join us!
Happy Two Month Anniversary!

 

[Law]

This was good to read too. I had mine (right thr anterior) on Monday and yesterday I was so relieved to leave the hospital and have it over with. That wore off, lol. Definitely feeling out of sorts.

 

[Goma]

Wowee.. you've been through the mill and looking at your pictures made me wonder where you got your strength from. Not just you but your family who would have also felt what you felt and done what they could to help and support you.

I think playing with your grandaughter and walking with your wife is the reward you deserve.

 

[sistersinhim]

@Up once again, I have started a new Hip Recovery Thread for you. It is located here: https://bonesmart.org/forum/threads/up-once-agains-hip-experiences.76548/

If you would like your title changed, please let us know.

 

[MapleGroveMNGuy]

There are so many people that are still suffering that it breaks my heart, especially when friends and neighbors told me before my surgery things like "Total hip replacement is pretty simple and you'll be walking normal in no time!" or "I have a friend who just had it and was playing golf the next week!" or "That's the easiest operation to recover from!" I'm just about 3 weeks out from my surgery and gradually feeling the pain go away and if anyone every tells me another story about the surgery being simple etc. etc. I already know what I will say!

For all of you who are still hurting, still in pain, still depressed "We aren't in control of outcomes, but we can choose now to hang in there and to give our energy only toward positive solutions." (From the book "Touchstones") Channeling love and hope for all!

 

[Freyagirl]

Hi @MapleGroveMNGuy - Apple Valley here again. Getting ready to start week 4 and totally understand the irritation of being told that hip recovery is a breeze. It’s hard work both physically and mentally. I’m now to the stage where my friends and relatives have all been by or reached out to me in the first couple weeks. I’ve been making myself call and ask for company. I’m incredibly lucky to have teenage grandchildren who are agreeable about stopping by and helping me and I can help them back with their homework so I have a task I can do. It’s all a pretty long slog with small steps forward and long periods of fighting off frustration and anxiety. This forum helps me know that others are in The same situation and we will all eventually be back out in the sunshine. Good luck on your continued recovery.

 

[MapleGroveMNGuy]

Thanks Freyagirl! Love that your teenage grandchildren are helping out! I'm beginning my 6th week of recovery and I am starting to see that light at the end of the tunnel! My wife has been wonderful and our 3 adult children have been very supportive!
I guess my angst and depression was that, shortly after my hip replacement, I was also dealing with a case of c-diff along with a cervical spine problem. Tomorrow I meet with my spine doctor to hear what options I have to treat that pain. Having all that while by having to miss our grandkids sports and school activities really got me down. I'm used to lifting weights 3 - 4 days a week and doing interval sprints on my stationary bike the days in between the weights. I've always been active and in really good mental and physical shape. After my surgery I put on weight having no way to "physically keep it off" and that added to the depression.
My wife reminds me that it takes time and I'll get through it and our pup seems to sense there is a change going on and has been by my side much more than normal! All in all forums like this have helped and I realize my life could be worse and it's time to quit feeling sorry for myself! P.S. I see that you are also enjoying our unbelievable Minnesota winter that lasted 1 week! Which reminds me to get back outside and walk, walk, walk!! Cheers!

 

[Jaycey]

@MapleGroveMNGuy Wow - you have a lot going on along with your THR recovery. Listen to your wife - this recovery does take time and tons of patience. You will get back to an active lifestyle and any weight gained due to limited activity will just disappear - at least that was my experience.

 

[AmberRae]

Here for all the tears I am only 6 days out, and the first few days went pretty smoothly. The last two days my eyes keep leaking, and I can't articulate why. I will add more on my post-op page, but it has been good to read these and know that this is a normal part of this long, slow process. Being told 100 times that I am healthy and fit and will sail through this hasn't made it any easier. We live on a beautiful trail system and yesterday as I sat watching people out running/walking/biking from my deck it felt like I will never be able to join in again (and to think I did a one mile loop the morning of surgery less than a week ago!)

 

[Bevelina]

Here for all the tears I am only 6 days out, and the first few days went pretty smoothly. The last two days my eyes keep leaking, and I can't articulate why. I will add more on my post-op page, but it has been good to read these and know that this is a normal part of this long, slow process. Being told 100 times that I am healthy and fit and will sail through this hasn't made it any easier. We live on a beautiful trail system and yesterday as I sat watching people out running/walking/biking from my deck it felt like I will never be able to join in again (and to think I did a one mile loop the morning of surgery less than a week ago!)

Full empathy to you! I too watch all the villagers coming and going to coffee shops, joggin and bimbling along outside from my 1st floor apartment window.
I haven’t been for a proper walk anywhere at all for nrly 4years the OA in hips sooo bad.
I’m currently 2mnths post 2nd op, i’ve done day by day by day. Meditation has helped keep depression biting too hard. And a daily gratitude list. It is a long long road, but we will get out there again...Have faith in you x

 

[Geeja]

Here for all the tears I am only 6 days out, and the first few days went pretty smoothly. The last two days my eyes keep leaking, and I can't articulate why. I will add more on my post-op page, but it has been good to read these and know that this is a normal part of this long, slow process. Being told 100 times that I am healthy and fit and will sail through this hasn't made it any easier. We live on a beautiful trail system and yesterday as I sat watching people out running/walking/biking from my deck it felt like I will never be able to join in again (and to think I did a one mile loop the morning of surgery less than a week ago!)

I’ve been there! The 4th-5th week was hard as I, too, had been told the same things you were. I felt better knowing Post-Op Blues was a real thing and there was a reason for my tears and frustration. I truly thought I might always be dependent on a cane or walk with a limp. Fortunately that was not the case and after just a few more weeks I finally started seeing the light at the end of this recovery. I am now at 10 weeks and just got back from a 2 week trip to Kenya. Everyone was so supportive and concerned about me during the trip but by the end of it, I was walking alongside everyone else and even had times that I forgot all about the hip! I still get the zingers to my thigh if I sit for a while but they go away within seconds. If you would have told me that was the case at my one month mark, I wouldn’t have believed you! All this to say, hang in there. Keep walking, resting and caring for yourself and you will be out on the trail very soon!

 

[mendogal]

@Geeja oh! Wonderful update!
It would be great if you copied it into your own recovery thread here so that it stands as part of your own timeline for folks to see.