I am 42 tomorrow and seeing my consultant to discuss a hip replacement due to septic arthritis as a 5year old. I have managed to put off the op for three years and have been told that "I will know" when to have surgery but I am in pain every day and am constantly grumpy with my children. However the pain is intermittent. Sometimes I am fine and sometimes I go up the stairs on my hands and knees. Often my leg gives way and I limp a lot. I am still trying to carry on as normal and I am loathe to give up exercise but I am worried that if I keep putting it off I am going to ruin my 40s and my children's childhood. Did anyone else feel like this? It seems like most people who have had the op feel positive about it. It is hard to talk to friends as they do not understand. I came from a family where we have all had major surgery before so we try and avoid it at all costs. Any ideas?
You will know when to have surgery.....
- Thread starter Puravida
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Well, Puravida, you've come to the right place as we ALL understand that here! Welcome to BoneSmart!
The best advice I can give you is that you should never put off things like this. Arthritis never gets better, only worse and in the meantime, your life contracts and disappears in leaps and bounds. Best thing I can do for you is this form I have attached to the post. Print it off and fill it in and count up the different numbers. You may well be amazed at how much of your life you are sacrificing for this notion that you should wait. Life is for living and your children are only kids for a short period of time. Why waste it?
The best advice I can give you is that you should never put off things like this. Arthritis never gets better, only worse and in the meantime, your life contracts and disappears in leaps and bounds. Best thing I can do for you is this form I have attached to the post. Print it off and fill it in and count up the different numbers. You may well be amazed at how much of your life you are sacrificing for this notion that you should wait. Life is for living and your children are only kids for a short period of time. Why waste it?
sharonslp
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Puravida, are you from Costa Rica? Or simply loved the country, as I did earlier this year when I was able to travel there?
I also heard the statement many times....you'll know when you're ready. I certainly did know when I reached my final limits. But they forget to tell you that you might be ready before you know it.
One of my deciding factors was that my hip was impairing my ability to play with and enjoy my grandchildren. In your case, it is even more crucial that you be able to be the parent you want to be. In my opinion, if you have to crawl up and down stairs on your hands and knees, there is no more need for discussion...you need the relief this surgery can bring. Daily pain, limping....this is a debilitating condition, and it doesn't get better; it gets worse.
Do not pass go; do not collect $200. Go directly to your surgeon and set your date.
Sharon
I also heard the statement many times....you'll know when you're ready. I certainly did know when I reached my final limits. But they forget to tell you that you might be ready before you know it.
One of my deciding factors was that my hip was impairing my ability to play with and enjoy my grandchildren. In your case, it is even more crucial that you be able to be the parent you want to be. In my opinion, if you have to crawl up and down stairs on your hands and knees, there is no more need for discussion...you need the relief this surgery can bring. Daily pain, limping....this is a debilitating condition, and it doesn't get better; it gets worse.
Do not pass go; do not collect $200. Go directly to your surgeon and set your date.
Sharon
octopus
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Hi Puravida, welcome to Bonesmart! I have only recently made the decision to have a right THR, and I wish I had done so sooner. Sharon is right, we are often ready before we now it. I was, I just didn't see it, but everyone else did. 
I think one of the worst things is to limp continuously from the pain, it puts strain on so many other parts of the body. I now have sore knees and an ankle, and my other hips is starting to hurt too, although there is nothing wrong with it (hopefully). I guess my only suggestion to you, would be to not leave it so long as to put stress on other parts of your body, everyone is right, it's not going to get better.
All the best with making your decision, it's not an easy one, but I can tell you from my own experience, it feels great when you have, knowing that getting your life back is just around the corner.
Diane
I think one of the worst things is to limp continuously from the pain, it puts strain on so many other parts of the body. I now have sore knees and an ankle, and my other hips is starting to hurt too, although there is nothing wrong with it (hopefully). I guess my only suggestion to you, would be to not leave it so long as to put stress on other parts of your body, everyone is right, it's not going to get better. All the best with making your decision, it's not an easy one, but I can tell you from my own experience, it feels great when you have, knowing that getting your life back is just around the corner.
Diane
aa1pd
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If you wait till you are "ready" than you will have to wait several more months for an appointment with a good surgeon, then even more months to get on the calendar for surgery. The best OS's are booked out quite a ways. I'm 5 weeks out and trying to make it to the surgical date. Its not fun to be "ready" and waiting.
Henry2nd
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I was told 3 yrs ago I needed both hips doing, I could have had them done 3 months later but decided to wait. in May of this year i had my yearly appointment with the consultant and at that time was suffering quite bad so agreed to have them done, i was given an appointment of 11th of Sept.
6 weeks before I was called by the hospital to have them done 4 weeks early..... in that split second i cancelled my operation. my hips & back were totally pain free and I had been thinking of rearranging my appointment. My business was going through a bad time and to have time off would have sent me under, I was honest with the consultants secretary and told her my problems, I told her i couldn't take the time off work at such a critical time and that the only time I could take so much time of work was over Xmas and January which was a shut down period for us. she was brilliant and read out every space the had and I chose 11th of Dec.
6 weeks before I was called by the hospital to have them done 4 weeks early..... in that split second i cancelled my operation. my hips & back were totally pain free and I had been thinking of rearranging my appointment. My business was going through a bad time and to have time off would have sent me under, I was honest with the consultants secretary and told her my problems, I told her i couldn't take the time off work at such a critical time and that the only time I could take so much time of work was over Xmas and January which was a shut down period for us. she was brilliant and read out every space the had and I chose 11th of Dec.
Anniepops
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Hi Puravida, welcome to Bonesmart
I am 47 and I had a THR in February. I put off surgery for many years as I was often told that I was a bit young for it and hips don't last more than 10 years etc etc. Now, having had the surgery I can honestly say that I could kick myself for not having it much earlier. I couldn't do anything with my youngest child, I always had to say I couldn't do x,y and z with him as it would be too painful and I mourn those lost times when we couldn't have fun together because of 'my hip'. Having gone through it and came out the other side absolutely thrilled at the fantastic outcome and the now pain free days I wish I had of just gone for it ten years ago.
The thing is, only you can decide when you are ready, when you have had enough of not being able to do the things you want to do. I gradually got worse and done less but this just crept up on me and I got used to it but now I realise how sedentary my before life had become.
I hope by reading other members stories you can come to a decision that's right for you. Do let us know how you are doing, we all understand how difficult a decision this is but we are here for you and others once you decide to 'take the plunge'
Take care
Ann
I am 47 and I had a THR in February. I put off surgery for many years as I was often told that I was a bit young for it and hips don't last more than 10 years etc etc. Now, having had the surgery I can honestly say that I could kick myself for not having it much earlier. I couldn't do anything with my youngest child, I always had to say I couldn't do x,y and z with him as it would be too painful and I mourn those lost times when we couldn't have fun together because of 'my hip'. Having gone through it and came out the other side absolutely thrilled at the fantastic outcome and the now pain free days I wish I had of just gone for it ten years ago.
The thing is, only you can decide when you are ready, when you have had enough of not being able to do the things you want to do. I gradually got worse and done less but this just crept up on me and I got used to it but now I realise how sedentary my before life had become.
I hope by reading other members stories you can come to a decision that's right for you. Do let us know how you are doing, we all understand how difficult a decision this is but we are here for you and others once you decide to 'take the plunge'
Take care
Ann
limpingaround
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Puravida, this is an outstanding forum. To be honest, one of the best things I've discovered on the web. My pain began a few years ago, but started hurting really hurting about 1 yr ago. I kept kidding myself that it was a muscle pull. After an a visit to my primary care Doctor and a series of x-rays, my worst fear was confirmed, THP. I request a visit to an OS and he confirmed the diagnosis and said I would know when the time was right. I then started researching the internet for a solution. I mean after all, if humans can launch a spacecraft beyond the solar system, there must be some magic to heal my hip. Sadly, it's not to be. Well, after searching the internet, I happened upon this site. Let me tell you, the couple I found were frightening. All spam and advertisements. Like Goldilocks said, this one was just right. Provided the correct information and links for further study, great opinions from others (and there are a lot of us) that are experiencing and/or have lived thru the same thing and it was free. At first, I was like "no body's cutting me open and taking part of my leg". We've been together to long. But then, one day, reality set in. I read a post from a lady (from somewhere in the world) saying how her world was shrinking. I realized that was me (not literally). My world was becoming smaller. I remember a year ago hiking with my grandson (2-3 yrs old) and when he got tired, I carried him home (about 1/2 mile). Now, I can't carry him 50 ft, talk about shrinkage. I also realized the pain I experience now (I only take tylenol) will not lessen and my hip will never heal. In reality, if I didn't proceed with THR, there will be a point in the future when I will say "I should have had that done 10 yrs ago". It will have been a life lived in a small world. Well, thanks to Josephine and the other wonderful contributors, I re-gained my senses, visited the OS, and I'm scheduled for Nov 13.
Good luck with your decision, for me, it became easy.
and to Josephine et al, thank you very very much!
Good luck with your decision, for me, it became easy.
and to Josephine et al, thank you very very much!
dtmbf
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The 1st surgeon I saw told me "you will know when you're ready". So I go back a year later & say I'm ready & he tells me I'm not bad enough. I wait another 2 years & decide again I'm ready, only this time I go to a different surgeon and it takes me 4 months to get an appointment. He tells me I am past due surgery with both hips pure bone on bone. I say I'm all in & it takes me another 4 months to get on his OR schedule. I wait cuz he's the one I want to work on my. Morale of my story is listen to YOU - what can't you do that you want to do, or what takes a monumental effort just to get it done? I wish I had the hips done 2 years ago, that's how much better I feel and I'm not even done with recovery yet - I still have some hard work ahead of me but I am already so much better off than I was.
Poppet
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Hi Puravida
Welcome to your international BoneSmart family, great that you have joined
I waited 8 years from the first time my GP mentioned a hip replacement.. worse decision ever!
It is elective surgery in most cases, but when I look back (and I realise there is no point in doing that) I wish I had not waited. I wish I hadn't put my hubby through all the caring he had to do. I wish I didn't get to the point of using a walker pre surgery for 18 months... so many regrets - BUT! this is not about regrets, it is about the future and regaining one's quality of life - go for it
Welcome to your international BoneSmart family, great that you have joined
I waited 8 years from the first time my GP mentioned a hip replacement.. worse decision ever!
It is elective surgery in most cases, but when I look back (and I realise there is no point in doing that) I wish I had not waited. I wish I hadn't put my hubby through all the caring he had to do. I wish I didn't get to the point of using a walker pre surgery for 18 months... so many regrets - BUT! this is not about regrets, it is about the future and regaining one's quality of life - go for it
Weezy
graduate
The other issue to waiting is how other people in your life are currently experiencing your pain. You've already mentioned how it impacts your parenting...what about your relationships with other people in your life? Chronic pain seeps into everything and colors all aspects of our life.
Even though I'm still deep in recovery (less than 2 weeks), my husband has already noticed that I'm much easier going now and not "witchy" any more, as he said "you're like the cheerful woman I married again!" I'd gotten so bad that even I noticed it...lack of patience with people, general grumpiness, quick to anger, and quick to cry. I feel really bad for treating my beloved so badly the past several months; I'm fortunate that he understands since he went through a THR last January.
I don't see any reason to postpone. The sooner you start the process, the sooner you will have your life back.
Weezy
Even though I'm still deep in recovery (less than 2 weeks), my husband has already noticed that I'm much easier going now and not "witchy" any more, as he said "you're like the cheerful woman I married again!" I'd gotten so bad that even I noticed it...lack of patience with people, general grumpiness, quick to anger, and quick to cry. I feel really bad for treating my beloved so badly the past several months; I'm fortunate that he understands since he went through a THR last January.
I don't see any reason to postpone. The sooner you start the process, the sooner you will have your life back.
Weezy
This website and forum are new to me. Great find. I am a 57 year old male with 3 total hip replacements. Right side in 1997 and 2005. Left side in 2000. I am now scheduled to have my left side replaced again at the end of November. This time will be the first surgery that will be only the femur rod involved. Is this something new?
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