What now?

[Hearth_Cricket]

Okay...as I posted earlier, I had great news at my 6-week, post-op checkup, being cut loose from PT and my OS for a year, but here's the thing.

Now some might think this is odd or maybe not even "get it"...but since my first TKR in 2007 and leading up to my last TKR this past August, my whole thought process and mindset has been mainly focused on knee pain and relief, surgery, rehab, etc. In other words, this has been foremost on my mind for such a long time, that now that I am "recovered" to the point of not needing any more PT or OS appts., I feel at a loss. Silly, but true. I feel so disoriented about "life" and what do I do with my life now. I mean I was so consumed by my knees and the need for surgery, that now that it is all behind me, I just don't know where to pick up where I left off.

I do not work outside the home and haven't since 1994 when I quit to be a stay-at-home with my 4-year-old son. He is 19 years old now and in college. I do have hobbies, and I'm not saying that I'm bored. Not at all...it's just that I feel like a fish out of water...as if all the knee-related activity these past 2 years was such a large part of my everyday life, that it more or less drove my day's purpose.

I don't know...my husband thinks that this is all pain med withdrawal. I've weaned myself off hydrocodone and am suffering from some hebejebees at night (sort of light restless leg syndrome)...and am taking Advil PM...but it's not doing much for helping me sleep. It's not that I have so much knee pain that I can't sleep...it's that the hydrocodone withdrawal is affecting my mind, I think...

Anyway, I didn't mean to digress about insomnia...I mainly wanted to post about this odd sensation that I feel at a loss now that I'm "recovered"....any one else have that experience or any thoughts on all this? Crazy, huh?

 

[Texas]

Hey Linda it might but some withdraws but i know what you mean you have probably had the knee thing going on so long it was your life your job!!!!!!!! And now that its all coming to an end it makes it final...........But yes try to be happy this is what we all did if for ..........How long have you been off medicine.? Hang in there it will get better once you really get back out there.......Not that you miss is by any means its just been there for so long your used to it......at least thats what i felt like..............I hope you feel better soon.......I think its a lil depression I did that but it got much better.........) Have a great day !!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Max Wallace]

for me there were several stages in the recovery the worst one being getting off of the meds and it's not only the meds you take it's the anesthia given during surgery you may think that wears off in a few days but it doesn't sometimes it takes months and all of this occurs when you are going through sleep deprivation for several months. Then there are the psychological issues of having a life altering operation not to mention all of the physical aspects of recovery. I had one panic attack, one crying episode, and lots of euphoria based on being overwhelmed by happiness. its hard for people not having gone through this to fully understand all of the aspect involved. One of the hardest things was trying to explain all of this to my wife even though I had problems since before our marriage (25). it took one of those crying episodes for her to finally understand just how profound an experience this was. So I figure if it was that hard for her to understand the general public would never get it.

 

[Pat29627]

I agree, it did take me maybe four months to be my normal strong, stable self. Now you need to concentrate on proper nutrition and exercise for the health of your joints and whole body. When you find you can do things without pain, you'll come up with some ideas for things to do.

Pat

 

[ship4]

I think the previous responses are wonderful. I also believe your body has to get back into a "normal" rhythm. If you are having issues with insomnia, I will again suggest you take 2 Calcium + D 600 mg with 2 Magnesium 250 mg before you go to bed to sleep. They definitely will help ward off the insomnia. I also believe you should take one of each in the AM along with a multiple vitamin. Frankly, the food we consume has had the nutrition bred out of it in favor for it looking more colorful, no blemishes, and larger size. Eating less things that are refined or "white" will also help how you feel. Get out daily and walk, or if you have a stationary bike, be sure to use it daily. Exercise during the time you would have had PT! Keep yourself active so you don't have issues regarding your knees.
I took up golf! I do not walk the course, I do use a cart, but I get plenty of exercise playing. I continue to work full time caring for children between birth and age 6 daily. Currently I have 5 children enrolled in 4 time slots and have openings for a child over 2 years and a child over 3 years.
Taking up a new challenge in your life is a reward for all you missed out on before surgery. Enjoy yourself!

 

[bluegrassanne]

Did you see Max's thread "old dog, new tricks". He asked us to list all of things we are looking forward to after our surgeries. I found it very encouraging. You have a lot to look forward to. You just need to figure out what those things are and then do them.

 

[skigirl]

I have had asthma my entire life---when I was a teenager, they came up with isoprel nebulizers--and changed my life. For the first time, I could prevent an asthma attack. I could play sports--in short, I could live a normal life. I entered into that life with gusto, which continues to this day.

I think that when you realize that you are not a sick person or an infirm person--but, a very strong, healthy person you will find a new life waiting for you.

I find it necessary to volunteer part of every week--to share my good fortune and to have the pleasure of helping others--whether it is preparing dinners at church or carrying meals on wheels--I very much enjoy having the health and energy to volunteer.

I think that life is just sitting there waiting for you to join in and have some fun!!!

 

[sykeRN]

The experience of this surgery has been profound and life changing for me. The past weeks has been amazing---I've learned so much from this recovery! I've certainly gone through the gamut of emotions---plus I've been able to challenge my body again to get even stronger.

At six weeks--I now go through the day without constantly thinking of my knee. Of COURSE I'm still healing--but I am getting back to my full life. I seem to have more energy and zest than in the past years now that I FINALLY do not have the pain and limp. So many things seem easier and I an reveling in my happiness. My husband and I both are excited to make plans again--from house projects--to more volunteer work--to taking long hikes.

At 61--(even though I have arthritis in other body parts)--I do feel reborn. So many possibilities to engage fully in life. I am so grateful for this knee.

 

[Josephine]

Good feeling, Nancy, yes?

 

[brs0660]

I was in tears the day I graduated from PT. You build a very close relationship with your PT. I still feel like I need to go back--I need that encouragement. I need to see the progress.

Life changing event--yes this was. Before surgery, I was having boss problems. After surgery, no more boss problems...I stepped down to a lower position because I did NOT need to put up with his demeaning micromanging ways. I would never have done this before surgery..NEVER. :shk:For the first time in my life...it IS all about me and ME taking care of me. If I do not take care of ME, how can I take care of the world around me. It has really made me identify what is really important to me and what is Not.

You are not alone in your feeling...not at all.:agree:

 

[beth1954]

I can totally understand why you feel at a loss. You have put so much time, effort, emotions, and everything into your knee that it consumes you. I guess kind of like the "empty nest" syndrome. Now you don't have anything to concentrate on, or to work on.

I guess it's time to find a good hobby, volunteer work, or are you interested in getting a job? I don't know your situation. Maybe something that isn't even stressful, just something to get you out there to think about something else.

(On a side note: It makes me feel so much better hearing about people's anxiety attacks, crying jags, sleeplessness, etc. because I have that and feel like a freak. Of course, I cry at the drop of a hat anyway, have been treated for depression for years and years. I'm just a mess)

My daughter always tells me that I'm such a compulsive worrier that when I'm worried about something, and it's finally resolved, that immediately I'm looking for something else to worry about. I think she's right! But with me, there is always SOMETHING to worry about, so I keep busy that way! (That sounds so pathetic)

It is kind of exciting really! I'd love to know what you take on next!

 

[backbay38]

In so many ways we are all alike with our reactions to the knee replacements! I could not have understood before why people said the operation was "life altering". It is. I am more than 8 months out now from my RTKR and I am still in he euphoria stages. On days when I get depressed about something I rail at myself for being so stupid as to waste a precious, I-can-now-do-anything day.
All that being said -- I felt totally bereft when my PT said I had progressed so far he could no longer justify sessions to the insurance company. And I am a very disciplined gym rat who used to run marathons. I had already transitioned back to the gym and weight work there. And even now I sometimes want to go back and show him how well I'm doing or ask a question. So this is normal I think.
As for your new life --- (and it absolutely IS a new life !!!) -- 6 weeks is early in the game. As you feel better and better start looking around for what you want to do with your new life. BEcause it will be like dropping 10 or 15 years off your age and feeling reborn and re-energyzed. Plus you now have grown children and you should put yourself first again. One stage of your life has ended and you should be thrilled to move on to the next stage. But it's always hard to totally let go what we know -- and face the unknown.
The time you spent in PT you can (and should this stage) use for continued strengthening and balance and stretching exercises. Believe me you will continue to progress for months to come. So there is still a time commitment necessary. But when you give up the pain and worry about how you will get through all you have to do for the day (as we all were before the operation) you should feel light and young and almost as if you could fly! Tap into that new energy as you get it and use it for the things you really care about. Maybe some kind of work (great for the ego and the bank account), maybe helping others, maybe just - for now - some traveling and the joy of being able to do everyday things freely. Think about it; it's a wonderful choice you now have!
You will sleep better at night if you exercise hard during the day. But don't go crazy; we all tend to overdo in the beginning. And I (who don't have great problems sleeping) recall quite a few restless nights until about 3 or 4 months out. And I was off the heavy duty pain meds within 10 days using only Tylenol (for PT session mainly) until about 6 weeks. But I think there is a very long healing period our bodies go through from the anesthesia and the operation itself even though at 6 weeks you are (on the surface at least) basically "healed".
So think lovely thoughts and uuuup you'll go -- as Peter Pan told Wendy about flying!!!!

 

[Jamie]

Well said, BackBay!!! Absolutely every word is true!

 

[Lakesideview]

I am withdrawing off of Tramadol right now and I get the nasty hebie jebbie feelings at night also. I tried "Hylands restful legs" last night and it worked GREAT! You buy it at Walgreens or any drugstore and it is a natural herb product. I was so happy to put a quick stop to those nighttime nasties that I just had to share! It just disolves under your tonque and is really quick. I was able to go right back to sleep.

 

[backbay38]

Hmmm... Lakesideview -- that sounds like it would be helpful for my marathon running husband since all runners suffer now and them from restless leg syndrom. I'm gonna check it out for him.

 

[Jamie]

Thanks for the recommendation, Lakesideview....that's a product I had not heard of before. I'll get some for my hubbie who gets those restless legs now and then. Wish I had known about it after my knee surgery....there were a bunch of us back then who had those jumpy legs at night.

 

[Motherofmany]

Linda....oh, the possibilities. They are endless. Start with things you enjoy and progress to things you've always wanted to do. At six weeks, you have so much more healing to do.

My first TKR took around 3 1/2 to 4 months before I felt more like myself again. This time, I've done so well, I'm already feeling so much better and tackling life head on. Just trying to find balance is the key. That alone will keep you busy.

Once the meds are out of your system, you will feel wonderful and sleep will return to a normal pattern. That was my experience and I think many others here will agree.

Don't grieve the loss...embrace the possibilities and enjoy!

Blessings,