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UGGGG getting depressed

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JuneBug88

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Hi.....

OK I had my rtkr done 11/27/07. I was doing great and getting my life back. Now I am getting all bummed out borderline depressed because I feel like I am back at the point in time I was before I had my knee replaced. Not because of my surgical leg now it is my left knee. I am back on pain meds, slowing down again. I am facing my other knee done. That part does not bother me. What bothers me is the fact I have to go thru the shots in my knee with synvex (sp?) that did not work the first time. The stupid insurance co. will make me go thru hoops that I physical cant jump to prove that I really need it done. I will not be able to to the shots till mid July because I am leaving on vacation June 9th and I will not be home untill right after july 4th. I refuse to drop the vacation plans becuase of my kids. So I dont have the 3 weeks in a row to do it untill I return from Florida. I am so sick and tired of being in pain 24/7. I think what is pushing me over the edge is my 11 year old daughter asked me today to help out with feild day at school and I told her I could not do it because of the pain. The look on her face was so dissapointed it broke my heart. I am tired of telling ,my kids mommy is in too much pain. I want my life back, I want to be pain free. I am tired of dissapointing my kids, husband and my self because of the pain.

Thanks for reading my rant. I needed to get it out in the open so and the only ones who will understand is people that went thru this.

Debbi
 
Debbi, rant away. We all know the frustration. I'm having my second knee done in about two weeks and I'm at the point thinking I went through all this recovery, my new knee is feeling half way decent after 7 months and now I've got to go through all of this again. I'm with you on feeling the frustration of not being able to do what you want to do. We just have to be patient and know that it'll come. We'll get there and be on our feet and active again! Hang in there Debbi! Karen
 
After my left TKR in January I thought I was out of the woods. I had never had more than a small scope on my right knee. Lo and behold the "good knee" after 35 years of being favored has decided it wants to join the surgery club. The pain is like a scalpel is still in it. Even Percocet is of little use.
I am having an interim scope next month to buy me time until next summer when it comes out. Does this ever end?
 
I'm right there with you all. After my knee replacement in December, back surgery in January, and 'scope last week it does seem like it never ends. Yesterday at school another teacher saw me using my crutches and said "Again? You must really like the attention you get from having so many surgeries".

My goal right now is to let my right knee heal and take care of myself. I have my summer break coming up and and will walk and bicycle and do things that bring me joy and peace.

We all have to do what we have to do.... and you are all doing the best you can. Be kind to yourselves.
 
beachcomber said:
Yesterday at school another teacher saw me using my crutches and said "Again? You must really like the attention you get from having so many surgeries".
Click to expand...

Beach, I think you would have been completely justified is losing your balance on your crutches just enough so you could flail one around and give that teacher a good whack up side of the head! It's amazing how insensitive people can be, isn't it!!!

Debbi....I really feel for you. I had my RTKR February 29th and am doing fine on that knee, but now the other one that I didn't think had any problems is showing signs of arthritis...."catching" when I go up or down stairs, pain if I do too much, etc. That tells me a replacement is coming at some point for it too. What you are going through with your insurance company is shameful. Have you discussed it with your doctor? I don't know what insurance company you are dealing with, but many times the doctor and you can write the company and demand the treatment the doctor feels is appropriate - a TKR. It takes some work, but I've seen insurance companies give in and allow a person not to have to go through a series of treatments first. It might be worth a try if your doctor would support you and write detailed letters. Be persistent....sometimes you have to just get to the right person in the insurance company who has the authority to make the decision you want. But if that is not possible, then lean on us here....we definitely understand the pain and frustration you are going through. Hugs to you!!!! ....Jamie
 
How sad that people need to be so full of thoughts on some ones else life without knowing specifics. Yeah, we all have opinions here, but it's a forum, opens it up to that. But Carloyn, that person at work was off base , rude and didn't want to look at their own life if they were so with yours. Walk tall (or try - hee hee) past them.
 
I am not usually a confrontational person--- but decided to confront this person at lunchtime. She was a substitute teacher who is often in our building and was subbing in the classroom next door. I went over at lunchtime and told her that her comment was very hurtful to me. She said she was trying to be humorous. I told her she really had no idea what I had been going through and should be more thoughtful of others before making "jokes".

On the "up" side--- even though I have new "owies" from the 'scope--- I can definitely tell the difference with that torn meniscus removed. I think it is going to help a lot.
 
Jamie][quote=beachcomber said:
Yesterday at school another teacher saw me using my crutches and said "Again? You must really like the attention you get from having so many surgeries".
Click to expand...

Beach, I think you would have been completely justified is losing your balance on your crutches just enough so you could flail one around and give that teacher a good whack up side of the head! It's amazing how insensitive people can be, isn't it!!![/QUOTE]

Whaaa?!!!
[Bonesmart.org] UGGGG getting depressed
Jamie, I am right with you there. Sheesh! What a nerve!
 
Beach, you definitely did the right thing by going back to talk to the gal who made that remark. I guess I can see how someone might think they were being funny, but unless you knew the person very, very well....it was still a stupid thing to do! I hope she took in what you said and learned from the incident. Unfortunately I think many people are just clueless until something happens to them. Then you'll usually find them wailing and moaning the loudest at their pain and misfortune.

You are a classy lady and I'm glad you were strong enough to take the action you did. I know it made you feel better to be able to confront the gal and explain how hurtful her comments was! And....I'm soooo happy to hear that your other knee is already feeling better. Hooray!!!!! God bless you for all you have been through lately. Those beaches are certainly going to be a welcome change, huh!!!
 
Good to hear the knee is getting better Beach. Hope this will be it for you for a little while. I've had remarks like that too from people who don't REALLY know what's going on and that's what we all have to remember. They don't have a clue.

My next tkr in two weeks will be my 4th surgery in 15 months so I know how tired you are of it all. I've still got at least two more replacements coming up sometime soon after this one and I wonder when it will end. I've stopped talking about it at work because I feel it's a negative and I've been put in a job that is leading to nowhere. Yes, I was put in this job when the old assignment ended and I know they cannot discriminate against you but there are ways to do this and it still be "legal." I've decided to keep quiet about more surgeries so that I might have a chance of a position that is more challenging. Everyone tells me I'm so upbeat about it all and it's great I can laugh about everything but little do they know that if you don't laugh, you just might break out and cry......

Beach, Debbi, and everyone else.... hang in there! We've all got each other...We understand each other!
 
beachcomber said:
I am not usually a confrontational person--- but decided to confront this person at lunchtime. She was a substitute teacher who is often in our building and was subbing in the classroom next door. I went over at lunchtime and told her that her comment was very hurtful to me. She said she was trying to be humorous. I told her she really had no idea what I had been going through and should be more thoughtful of others before making "jokes".

On the "up" side--- even though I have new "owies" from the 'scope--- I can definitely tell the difference with that torn meniscus removed. I think it is going to help a lot.
Click to expand...

YOU GO GIRL!
And I'm glad to hear you're getting some relief in the knee.
 
Thanks--- and I know what you mean about not talking about it anymore.... I have pretty much tried to keep it to myself too. I figure they must be sick of it.
Interesting thing... I teach at a high school with about 150 staff members. I had been limping and walking very abnormally this year until my KR in December, then had my back surgery and missed 2 months of school. Hardly anyone ever commented or offered assistance or anything. Most apparently did not know I had been gone.... This week I came back to work on crutches and it was 3 days before a single staff member even asked about it. Not even my administrators (who I did not tell about the surgery) have asked.
Is it just me or do you find that odd?

Soooo thanks so much for letting me vent here.... it is really true that no one else really knows how we are feeling.

Right now my body just feels so beat down from 3 surgeries in 5 months and recoveries and all I want to do is rest and heal. I haven't even gotten the results from the latest MRI on my back--- and frankly I don't think I want to know because I just couldn't face having to "do" anything about it. I know the nerve is still damaged and my foot is worse since the last "incident" and I don't even want to know what the neurosurgeon has to say. Not yet. Kind of the "ostrich" approach, I guess.

Rest and heal... that's my mantra.

I know how you must be feeling facing this next surgery and knowing you are not done(same as I felt last week, probably). I will be thinking of you and praying for strength as you face it all again.

1jt@atime said:
Good to hear the knee is getting better Beach. Hope this will be it for you for a little while. I've had remarks like that too from people who don't REALLY know what's going on and that's what we all have to remember. They don't have a clue.

My next tkr in two weeks will be my 4th surgery in 15 months so I know how tired you are of it all. I've still got at least two more replacements coming up sometime soon after this one and I wonder when it will end. I've stopped talking about it at work because I feel it's a negative and I've been put in a job that is leading to nowhere. Yes, I was put in this job when the old assignment ended and I know they cannot discriminate against you but there are ways to do this and it still be "legal." I've decided to keep quiet about more surgeries so that I might have a chance of a position that is more challenging. Everyone tells me I'm so upbeat about it all and it's great I can laugh about everything but little do they know that if you don't laugh, you just might break out and cry......

Beach, Debbi, and everyone else.... hang in there! We've all got each other...We understand each other!
Click to expand...
 
Reading these post confirms that doing both at the same time is the way to go. I went through what many of you have -- have 1 knee worked on and then the other ones starts up. I really messed my knees up when I started playing sports in high school and got worse with college sports and things like backpacking. Through a 8 year period in my late 20's and early 30's I had a total of 8 major knee surgeries and a couple of scopes. Almost ever time the one not having surgery would give out about 3 months post op because of the stress of taking all the weight from walking (many times I was non weight bearing for a couple of months). My doc figured the knees would have to be replace by my mid 40's well I waited and put up with it till my mid 50's which was probably not a smart move.

Surgery is on June 3rd and I am more than ready for the change.

Best to all of those who are facing a second TKR or other surgeries.

Simon
 
Simon, Glad you are getting close. I hope you have a safe and healthy surgery and recovery. Be sure to post ASAP after to let us know how it went.
 
Simon, Good to just get them both over with at once if possible. I had the better of the two scoped last summer and then scheduled the tkr for the worse knee about 8 weeks later. By the time I had the tkr, I realized the scope on the better knee actually had made it worse and it was too late to talk my surgeon into doing both at once. He doesn't like to do two at a time. I planned on having the second done a month after the first but my back went out during the first surgery and there was no way I could have considered a second tkr until that was semi under control. Notice I say semi....I'm worried about the back going into this the second time and I'm in PT now for it. I will also have an MUA on the first knee at the same time for extension. Things just don't always work out the way you want. My surgery is June 9th so I'm right behind you.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that in between the two surgeries last summer, I started having tremondous pain in my foot. The surgeon put me in a boot and sent me for a bone scan. I thought I had a stress fracture but it turned out to be arthritis in the foot. I was hoping for a stress fracture because that would heal! I think this foot problem is from too many years of walking wrong because of the bad knee. The back problems are as a result of the knee problems too. I'm a classic case on why it's not good to wait too long for a tkr. Karen
 
beachcomber said:
Thanks--- and I know what you mean about not talking about it anymore.... I have pretty much tried to keep it to myself too. I figure they must be sick of it.
Interesting thing... I teach at a high school with about 150 staff members. I had been limping and walking very abnormally this year until my KR in December, then had my back surgery and missed 2 months of school. Hardly anyone ever commented or offered assistance or anything. Most apparently did not know I had been gone.... This week I came back to work on crutches and it was 3 days before a single staff member even asked about it. Not even my administrators (who I did not tell about the surgery) have asked.
Is it just me or do you find that odd?

Right now my body just feels so beat down from 3 surgeries in 5 months and recoveries and all I want to do is rest and heal. I haven't even gotten the results from the latest MRI on my back--- and frankly I don't think I want to know because I just couldn't face having to "do" anything about it. I know the nerve is still damaged and my foot is worse since the last "incident" and I don't even want to know what the neurosurgeon has to say. Not yet. Kind of the "ostrich" approach, I guess.

QUOTE]

Beach, It is weird they didn't notice or say anything. Maybe they did notice and didn't want to invade in your privacy? You do work in one of those mega schools, don't you? Maybe that's it. I would hope those that work close with you noticed. But, not even the administrators? I think people are often just caught up in their own lives and don't always stop to look around.

My immediate coworkers have been great. We often have to carry items to the main office which I calculated is about a third of a mile round trip. Everyone always makes the trip for me.

I understand too why you don't want to know about the MRI results. Everytime I have a test, it seems I find out something else is wrong. Unfortunately, we need to face the facts. Hang in there! Like you said, rest and heal!
Click to expand...
 
My 2 closest co-workers in my department knew and encouraged me to go ahead and have the 'scope done now instead of in the summer with a different doctor. They are super supportive. But I did think it was weird that the administrators said nothing... and they HAD to have noticed I was on crutches again. I crutched into the staff meeting on Tuesday right in front of them... weird...

I am sure the neurosurgeon's office will be calling me about the test results. I just don't feel a big need to know NOW what the findings are because I am not going to have another back surgery. Not now. Rest and heal...

I am so sorry you have such a long road still ahead of you. I have just tried to take it one step at a time. I think that is all we can do. All the best to you...
 
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