hi there, I guess I'm just looking for some advice and expressing my frustrations. I have had knee problems as long as I can remember. My left knee "goes out" on me, now I find out what I have been experiencing are subluxations. Anyway, earlier this summer, 3 months ago, I was walking in my backyard and stepped wrong and something in my knee popped, I didn't fall or anything, just something popped and I had some really bad pain so I decided to sit down. From that point forward my knee has felt unstable, like it's slipping sideways. Thinking it'd get better like it always did I puttered around for a month like that before giving in and going to an orthopedist and getting x-rays. At first there was pain but over time it's subsided and the more I sit around on my booty the less I have (except now my sciatica is acting up). Turns out my kneecap is subluxed towards the outside of my knee, MRI shows a bunch of stuff, extreme subluxation, torn meniscus, foreign body, osteoarthritis, non-existent Trochlear groove. So I'm shipped off to the surgeon to discuss total knee replacement because I guess I'm no longer a candidate for osteotomy because I now have arthritis. While not happy at possibly having a totak knee replacement at 41 the prospect of not falling again is very attractive to me. Plus for the past 2 months I use a walker because I'm afraid of falling and if I stand too long in one place my knee has a tendency to just randomly give out on me. I've missed out on 3 months of summer in Alaska, I've been unable to mow my lawn, go to concerts with my boyfriend, walk my dogs, go shopping. However, because I rate my knee pain at a 1-2, they are not interested in doing surgery because I may end up with pain higher than what I'm currently experiencing. I've been basically sent home to I guess live life how I am. I do have another appointment tomorrow but... is this fair? To send a 41 year old home, using a walker, unable to do their normal stuff without fear of their knee giving out and collapsing? Is this something doctors routinely do? I was so flabbergasted at the last appointment I ended up in tears at the thought of having to just live like this, I've already given up so much in my life due to my knees and now it feels like it's just too much to ask. As I get older every time I fall it seems harder on me, last time my knee went out I tried to catch myself with my right knee and it collapsed under me and I spent 6 months in rehab to be able to just walk somewhat normally again. It's pretty much chronically painful and I have more limited range of motion in it now. I was told then it needed replacement but I was too young (I was 38 at the time). The time before that I dislocated my elbow when I fell (tried to catch myself) and my hip has never been the same since, now I also have sciatica. I feel like I am being doomed to this life of fear of falling and I don't really know what to do. I downloaded the Oxford Knee score thing to show to my surgeon, but if he still says no, what do i do? This obviously has a significant impact on my quality of life.