I am a 49 year old woman and I had total double knee replacement in Nov 2014. I am 5’3, 115 lbs and have genetic degenerative arthritis. It decided to attack my knees starting about 10 years ago. So I will get to the point. I regret this surgery but didn’t feel like I had a choice. If knew then what I do now I would have put it off as long as possible. This surgery has had such a negative impact on my life that I am barely the same person. A difficult and long recovery initiated what turned into severe clinical depression. I was finally diagnosed last month. On anti depressant now (Wellbutrin) and it’s really working. I feel more like myself now then I have in many years. I work full time and am on my feet most of the day (personal banker). Now that I am coming out of this depressed state I am trying very hard to make really healthy changes in my life including exercise. This is where I have the problem. My knees hurt more now then they ever did before surgery. The chronic pain and stiffness has become my “normal”. I can straighten my legs almost completely. No one would think they are bent. However my bend is horrible. I am barely at 90 degrees and if I try and push further it’s the kind of pain you have when first starting PT after surgery. If I catch my toes or foot on something that causes a deeper bend I literally scream in pain. I am able to “hop” down stairs if I have a railing but typically take 1 step at a time. I have a finished basement and laundry room in is there so am up and down daily. Going up not a problem. I have 2 grandchildren (5 & 2) with more to come and I am so healthy and active otherwise, but I can’t get down in the floor and play w them and if I do (sit or lie down to play with them), getting up is like a scene from a comedy. Have always been thin but not necessarily in a healthy way. With all of the positive changes I’ve made in the past months, my knees and the pain seem to trump the good feelings I have. Trying to do yoga and some cardio. I can do Some poses but when I see the instructor go into child’s pose I am just sad that I can’t come even close and never will again. I mean I will NEVER be able to sit Indian style or sit on my ankles w my knees bent. That reality has really hit me hard lately. I would love any feedback. Is the constant pain/stiffness normal? Is it too late for more PT? What kind of exercise, other than walking or bike, can I do? I really love yoga and Pilates but when I try and get through these workouts I just get so discouraged. The depression has sort of masked all of these feelings over the past few years. I slept a lot, drank a lot of wine and just lived w it. Didn’t bother me so much. Gave me a reason to lay around and feel sorry feeling for myself. Now that I’m finally back in the light I don’t like the way I feel(physically) at all. Sorry so long but I hope someone out there has some advice. Thanks for reading to the end!!