thepuckhead
junior member
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2022
- Messages
- 77
- Age
- 53
- Gender
- Female
- Country
-
United States
Hello!
53-yr old healthy, active woman here - avid cook, volunteer wildlife rehabber prone to running in traffic to save turtles crossing the road, swimmer, recreational ice hockey player, weightlifter, desk jockey day job employee, reader of just about any book you put in front of me, married with 3 cats and currently a complete headcase with regards to THR for my left hip.
I am posting here because my poor wife is under so much stress already with her mom also badly needing a THR (left hip, too!) that she doesn't have enough emotional energy left to help me with my own ruminating and inability to be confident in any decision I make. So, I've been reading a lot here and decided to post to give some outlet to all this BS and maybe give my wife a break. ;)
Backstory - about a year ago or so, I thought I'd tweaked my quadricep muscle. Felt like a muscle pull when I walked. Sometimes it was so sharp I limped. I limped into the locker room for a hockey game and my teammate (a veterinarian) took one look at me and said, "you need an x-ray." I laughed and said it was just a muscle thing and it would always resolve during exercise. Nonetheless, I mentioned it to my primary care doc. She moved my leg around a bit, said she didn't think it was bone on bone or anything and said I could start PT or go see a sports med. I started PT.
PT tried a bunch of different stretches/exercises for 3 months and they helped a bit. Discovered that my left glute would barely move when isolated - was super tight and could hardly do the prone leg lift. Also, the step-ups tended to hurt. Could not get rid of the "tightness in my quad" no matter what we did, so she said she thought it was time for imaging. Said she suspected my back or my hip.
Into an ortho specialty clinic I went and was whisked back for a hip x-ray. The whole time I'm thinking "WHAT is this obsession with my hip? My hip doesn't hurt! My QUAD does!" Geez, people, I know you're medical professionals, but come ON. In walks the surgeon and says, "I think we have a reason for the ouch." Left hip is grade 4 OA with bone spurs. Bone on bone. He said I'd probably gotten all I could out of physical therapy and that the next conservative treatment would be cortisone shots. Said I would be a candidate for THR depending on how much the pain limited my life. I nodded. I smiled. I was in complete shock. HIP REPLACEMENT? Are you INSANE? Well, very nice to meet you, have a nice day goodbye!
Had cortisone shot. Was miracle. Such relief. My wife said I was walking upright again. Relief lasted two weeks until I climbed eight flights of stairs, did an elliptical workout and then played hockey. Nope. Back to the "quad pull" pain again. But at least there was no longer any doubt in my mind that my hip was indeed the source of the pain.
A few months later, I fell off the edge of my deck. The fall was just a few inches but it resulted in two sprained ankles. Yay.
My ankles got better after a few months. My hip pain did not. It was now more frequent and severe. I went on a business trip and had been looking forward to walking around the new city, sightseeing. Ha. I have never gotten so many offers of "ma'am? Can I help you? Are you OK?" Any given step might result in a sharp, catching pain that would stop me in my tracks. I was afraid I'd fall from one of those "catches." I was afraid to walk. I will never forget what it felt like to limp across the street like a frail old lady and see the pity/worried stares on some people's faces. I was done. I scheduled a second cortisone shot and another consult with the ortho.
Second cortisone shot did nothing. Ortho came in and I said "I am sick of this." He nodded and said I could schedule the surgery anytime. I figured, OK, I'll get through another hockey season and then schedule it after.
Hockey season starts. First practice - I can't even do the skating drills. Not only is the original pain back, but now other muscles are joining on the fun. Hamstring, IT band, calf: any of them might tweak, too. I skate through it. The season starts and each game I have no idea what may or may not tweak. Could skate a shift and be fine and then step off the ice only to feel my knee buckle in. OK, maybe I don't want to try to do this all season.
I start researching hip replacement surgery and scare myself to death. The limitations, the question of what's safe to do. Anterior or posterior. Leg length differentials. Permanent nerve damage. Limp forever! You can walk all day, but don't run an inch! Swim, but not breaststroke. Be careful on hills. Yarrrrrrrrrrggghhhh!!!!! My brain broke.
After hearing a testimonial from random YouTube guy about the only way to get back to hockey is to have the anterior approach, I booked an appointment with surgeon #2 who does the anterior approach. He tells me that yes, I can keep playing hockey and the only thing I can't do is run marathons. He said that after about 3 months, everyone is in the same place, regardless of approach, because by then biology has taken over. He assured me that the data isn't showing a significant difference in dislocation rates between posterior and anterior and says the first ortho I saw is absolutely excellent.
Back to surgeon number one last week with my wife because I wanted her to hear everything so she could maybe help my squirrely brain when it goes on its tear. Surgeon says yes, hockey is fine and he's worked on a number of hockey players, that he doesn't put restrictions on his patients after surgery, showed me the small amount of space he'd need for the surgery and the major muscles he wouldn't cut. Most importantly, when he came in, he sat down, looked at me and said, "Ready?" And I sheepishly said, "yes", without a moment hesitation. He said he thought I'd do really well. I left feeling so good and ready and confident. So, what happened?
Oh, wouldn't ya know? My hip feels better! I'm walking better, had two games without twinges. So now, I'm doubting whether I really need this surgery, whether I was imagining how bad the pain was, freaking out that I'll make things worse by having an unnecessary major surgery. It's insane. Every day I look for the pain and get angry/upset if I feel OK. My wife said I should enjoy the good days but understand they're just luck. I have a great surgeon (turns out he's an arthritis and hip/knee replacement specialist) who I trust completely. But when I walk and feel OK, I'm wondering what in the world I'm thinking. I just want to do the right thing by my body, but I don't know what that is and I'm making myself absolutely miserable.
I have a phone call tomorrow with the clinic for a preop screen or something and I think that may be when I schedule, but not sure. I just want to make a decision and live with it, but I am in tears trying to figure out what I can live with.
As an added bonus, my mother in law's surgeon wants to fit her in for THR before Christmas. Her hip has collapsed and she's confined to her lift chair, in agony 24-7. She's terrified, depressed, angry and doesn't want surgery. She knows it's the only thing that will give her any kind of mobility back, but she is so trapped in her misery that she can't see anything but awful outcomes. My wife is so tired from trying to help her that I want to keep up my game face so I don't add to her stress, but the game face is cracking.
Anyway, blah blah, I just wanted to get this all out somewhere. I'm pretty sure I'll go through with the surgery - I want this fixed. I don't really relish the idea of waiting until I'm in "enough" pain. My surgeon said the goal of the surgery is to give me a hip that has full range of motion and function. That sounds like, even if I'm not in pain, a good thing to do. I'm about 98% committed to getting it over with and bearing whatever awfulness the recovery brings and trusting what he says about getting back to hockey and all the other things I do but with good days being based on sound mechanics and not luck.
53-yr old healthy, active woman here - avid cook, volunteer wildlife rehabber prone to running in traffic to save turtles crossing the road, swimmer, recreational ice hockey player, weightlifter, desk jockey day job employee, reader of just about any book you put in front of me, married with 3 cats and currently a complete headcase with regards to THR for my left hip.
I am posting here because my poor wife is under so much stress already with her mom also badly needing a THR (left hip, too!) that she doesn't have enough emotional energy left to help me with my own ruminating and inability to be confident in any decision I make. So, I've been reading a lot here and decided to post to give some outlet to all this BS and maybe give my wife a break. ;)
Backstory - about a year ago or so, I thought I'd tweaked my quadricep muscle. Felt like a muscle pull when I walked. Sometimes it was so sharp I limped. I limped into the locker room for a hockey game and my teammate (a veterinarian) took one look at me and said, "you need an x-ray." I laughed and said it was just a muscle thing and it would always resolve during exercise. Nonetheless, I mentioned it to my primary care doc. She moved my leg around a bit, said she didn't think it was bone on bone or anything and said I could start PT or go see a sports med. I started PT.
PT tried a bunch of different stretches/exercises for 3 months and they helped a bit. Discovered that my left glute would barely move when isolated - was super tight and could hardly do the prone leg lift. Also, the step-ups tended to hurt. Could not get rid of the "tightness in my quad" no matter what we did, so she said she thought it was time for imaging. Said she suspected my back or my hip.
Into an ortho specialty clinic I went and was whisked back for a hip x-ray. The whole time I'm thinking "WHAT is this obsession with my hip? My hip doesn't hurt! My QUAD does!" Geez, people, I know you're medical professionals, but come ON. In walks the surgeon and says, "I think we have a reason for the ouch." Left hip is grade 4 OA with bone spurs. Bone on bone. He said I'd probably gotten all I could out of physical therapy and that the next conservative treatment would be cortisone shots. Said I would be a candidate for THR depending on how much the pain limited my life. I nodded. I smiled. I was in complete shock. HIP REPLACEMENT? Are you INSANE? Well, very nice to meet you, have a nice day goodbye!
Had cortisone shot. Was miracle. Such relief. My wife said I was walking upright again. Relief lasted two weeks until I climbed eight flights of stairs, did an elliptical workout and then played hockey. Nope. Back to the "quad pull" pain again. But at least there was no longer any doubt in my mind that my hip was indeed the source of the pain.
A few months later, I fell off the edge of my deck. The fall was just a few inches but it resulted in two sprained ankles. Yay.
My ankles got better after a few months. My hip pain did not. It was now more frequent and severe. I went on a business trip and had been looking forward to walking around the new city, sightseeing. Ha. I have never gotten so many offers of "ma'am? Can I help you? Are you OK?" Any given step might result in a sharp, catching pain that would stop me in my tracks. I was afraid I'd fall from one of those "catches." I was afraid to walk. I will never forget what it felt like to limp across the street like a frail old lady and see the pity/worried stares on some people's faces. I was done. I scheduled a second cortisone shot and another consult with the ortho.
Second cortisone shot did nothing. Ortho came in and I said "I am sick of this." He nodded and said I could schedule the surgery anytime. I figured, OK, I'll get through another hockey season and then schedule it after.
Hockey season starts. First practice - I can't even do the skating drills. Not only is the original pain back, but now other muscles are joining on the fun. Hamstring, IT band, calf: any of them might tweak, too. I skate through it. The season starts and each game I have no idea what may or may not tweak. Could skate a shift and be fine and then step off the ice only to feel my knee buckle in. OK, maybe I don't want to try to do this all season.
I start researching hip replacement surgery and scare myself to death. The limitations, the question of what's safe to do. Anterior or posterior. Leg length differentials. Permanent nerve damage. Limp forever! You can walk all day, but don't run an inch! Swim, but not breaststroke. Be careful on hills. Yarrrrrrrrrrggghhhh!!!!! My brain broke.
After hearing a testimonial from random YouTube guy about the only way to get back to hockey is to have the anterior approach, I booked an appointment with surgeon #2 who does the anterior approach. He tells me that yes, I can keep playing hockey and the only thing I can't do is run marathons. He said that after about 3 months, everyone is in the same place, regardless of approach, because by then biology has taken over. He assured me that the data isn't showing a significant difference in dislocation rates between posterior and anterior and says the first ortho I saw is absolutely excellent.
Back to surgeon number one last week with my wife because I wanted her to hear everything so she could maybe help my squirrely brain when it goes on its tear. Surgeon says yes, hockey is fine and he's worked on a number of hockey players, that he doesn't put restrictions on his patients after surgery, showed me the small amount of space he'd need for the surgery and the major muscles he wouldn't cut. Most importantly, when he came in, he sat down, looked at me and said, "Ready?" And I sheepishly said, "yes", without a moment hesitation. He said he thought I'd do really well. I left feeling so good and ready and confident. So, what happened?
Oh, wouldn't ya know? My hip feels better! I'm walking better, had two games without twinges. So now, I'm doubting whether I really need this surgery, whether I was imagining how bad the pain was, freaking out that I'll make things worse by having an unnecessary major surgery. It's insane. Every day I look for the pain and get angry/upset if I feel OK. My wife said I should enjoy the good days but understand they're just luck. I have a great surgeon (turns out he's an arthritis and hip/knee replacement specialist) who I trust completely. But when I walk and feel OK, I'm wondering what in the world I'm thinking. I just want to do the right thing by my body, but I don't know what that is and I'm making myself absolutely miserable.
I have a phone call tomorrow with the clinic for a preop screen or something and I think that may be when I schedule, but not sure. I just want to make a decision and live with it, but I am in tears trying to figure out what I can live with.
As an added bonus, my mother in law's surgeon wants to fit her in for THR before Christmas. Her hip has collapsed and she's confined to her lift chair, in agony 24-7. She's terrified, depressed, angry and doesn't want surgery. She knows it's the only thing that will give her any kind of mobility back, but she is so trapped in her misery that she can't see anything but awful outcomes. My wife is so tired from trying to help her that I want to keep up my game face so I don't add to her stress, but the game face is cracking.
Anyway, blah blah, I just wanted to get this all out somewhere. I'm pretty sure I'll go through with the surgery - I want this fixed. I don't really relish the idea of waiting until I'm in "enough" pain. My surgeon said the goal of the surgery is to give me a hip that has full range of motion and function. That sounds like, even if I'm not in pain, a good thing to do. I'm about 98% committed to getting it over with and bearing whatever awfulness the recovery brings and trusting what he says about getting back to hockey and all the other things I do but with good days being based on sound mechanics and not luck.
And thanks for the extensive history of your hip and your thinking about hip replacement. That does help us get a sense of where you are in the process. Yup, hips can be tricksy - it's like as soon as they hear a replacement may be coming they start to "behave" .... at least for a little while. But then they go back to the pain and dysfunction. And as you have seen with your M-I-L, hips can collapse when they get too worn out and that is horrendous pain!
