I think many of us questioned our decisions.. mine were more frequent before surgery. After surgery I had one goal and that was to take care of myself to heal as well as possible.
The post op depression is real, pain plays a big factor in this.
I have two friends with bi lateral TSR's and from what they have said, that first week or so is tough in the helplessness department. Than after that things begin to improve.
You will get through this, it's just a moment you are going through.
As for the pain, are you medicated enough? You can call your surgeon's office to inquire about that.
That's what his team is there for.
I'd love to leave your some recovery articles. I think you will find some helpful advice, especially this first one on pain control
In other words, it's not so much that pain causes swelling but that the after effects of surgery is swelling as the after effects of any trauma to the tissues is swelling. So you have a double causative effect (otherwise known as a vicious circle!) going on: the surgery causes pain and swelling; the swelling causes compression and stiffness which results in more pain; the increase in pain causes more swelling and stiffness - what has so eloquently been described as "angry tissues"! All of this hinders recovery.
Stopping the cycle:
So to stop this cycle, you need first of all to treat the pain with appropriate medications and ice. With the pain under control, you can set about getting the swelling down by with rest, ice and elevation. When that is improving, those negative hormones will not be produced in such quantities and your mood will improve. Then you get the ultimate feel-good factor as endorphins start being produced, nature's own pain killers, which eventually will help you to start going longer between doses.
But in the early days you need to bear in mind is that if you leave too long a gap between doses, then the medication takes longer to work during which period the pain continues to get worse. I defined this in this graph
So you can see that pain meds don't hinder healing but the results of pain being inadequately managed will. Therefore, doctors who are urging their patients to get off pain meds early are actually defeating the object of their surgery.
The biggest issue in the US seems to be that of addiction and often times members have posted their concerns and their doctors concerns about this.
DEPENDENCE IS NOT ADDICTION
Now it should be noted it is possible for the body to become accustomed to the presence of a medication but this is a long way from an addiction. Addiction is taking a medication when there is no pain, in other words, purely for recreational use. Being accustomed to the drug, or having a dependency, just means that the individual needs to wean themselves off the medication over a period of weeks in order to avoid the 'withdrawal' symptoms. Provided this is done gradually, there should be no difficulties and certainly no lasting effects akin to addiction. But tailing off the pills is not something you need to dwell upon. You will find yourself naturally leaving longer gaps between doses, not because you plan to but because you don't have the pain to remind you to take them. Just do remember, you're not going to get addicted or become a pill junky because of taking a few pain killers for 3-4 months. Research has shown that this just doesn't happen when the meds are being taken for genuine pain.
However, if you should find yourself scouring the internet looking for ways to get the pills without going to your doctor or even considering buying them from a contact, then you are probably becoming addicted! But the incidence of that happening is extremely small! In fact, research has shown that people really getting addicted to pain meds where there is genuine pain, is about less than 3 people in every 1,000
Myth busting: on getting addicted to pain meds