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The Dreaded DIET

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Doug

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O.K. Patti,
It is your fault that I almost died this morning.....That's right darn near choked to death.
I got serious with the diet yesterday. I was talking with a friend who recommended drinking instant breakfast, eating fruit for lunch and then eat a normal meal in the evening. That's doable for me. I am a night eater. I can't go to sleep hungry or I will wake up and wipe out any leftover's. I am an night food vampire.
So anyway, I went to Wal Mart to get the instant breakfast and some other stuff.
A couple of women were talking about eating a rice cake for a snack to stave off hunger.
SO, I bought some rice cakes. Cheddar cheese flavored.
I got out to the truck put the groceries in the front. As I'm driving home, I figure I'm going to stave off some hunger.
SO, I took out a rice cake. Ever seen one?? Looks like a hockey puck made out of rice.
Ever taste one? Then don't unless you are at home with a drink!!
I took a big bite of this thing invented by Satan himself. It swelled up in my mouth. It sucked any moisture there was totally away from me.
I was chocking. I had to whip into a gas station. Spit it out. Run inside and grab a bottle of water. I had tears running down my cheeks.....
All your fault!!!!Let's go on a diet.....
That is this weeks Dougie report. I am still recovering from last weeks swishing...This TKR is going to be the death of me.
Have a good'un.
Doug.
 

Doug

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And fried chicken......But I'm at a point where I've got to get serious. These last couple of years I've packed weight on. I was able to keep working upper body but my knee really limited even walking for exercise....It will all get better I know.
Having a 14 year old who is a bottomless pit for food and has no body fat doesn't help. He loves cheeseburgers.
 

jocelyn

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Hello folks, Just been browsing thru all these topics, couldnt stop laughing about the WW diet, I am attending WW as well lost 7 pounds in 3 weeks, got 14 pounds to go, living on WW meals! Then I had a cry about the animals and their ashes and the stories about them!! Then I was reassured by people with an ache at the side of their knee, I have that today, new thing!!

I was pleased to hear about Kath and worried about infection of Beachcomber, but ebded up so happy to be part of your lives.

Lot better today, got over sons departure, so grateful to you allXX
 

Doug

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Yep, My pet ash story. I don't think I'll ever get over standing there covered up. And then trying to clean up the evidence before my wife got home.

Ice that knee...
 
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Pattipoo

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Doug....I did the SAME thing with "pork rinds" (yes, you northerners! PORK RINDS...get over it!!hee hee)...pork rinds will KILL you DEAD if you don't have a drink of SOMETHING close by.....water, windex, pond water..WHATEVER it takes!!
 

Josephine

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Oh, folks - I've had to dig out my crutches again! I tweeked my knee last week - it seemed to be settling but I went to work this morning and OUCH!! I could hardly get myself back out to the car much less all my nurse's kit. Thank God for gentlemen!

So here I am, on the settee, like the old woman I am, feeling sorry for myself (and hungry) and it even hurts to adjust my position on the settee. Guess that TKR is a few steps nearer today. I rang a friend who still works at the local hospital and asked her if she would find out what the latest MRSA statistics are.

So much for the weekend, I reckoned God was trying to tell me not to go and this must have been the reason why. I had also booked myself into a gym last week with a personal trainer and my first session is supposed to be on Thursday - guess that's history as well.
 
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Pattipoo

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Jose!!!! Poor baby! Do you want me to overnight you some food???.....hmmmm....would be a good way to introduce you to GRITS!
 

Doug

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Well, you just ask us any question you would like about TKR............Seriously, I'll keep you in my prayers...
And Patti is right....You could be getting close to needing some GRITS. They're so good you could probably rum them on the knee and you would feel better..Don't listen to Ref if he says different.
I'll even throw in a bag of those pork rinds she mentioned. I love'em with a couple of drops of hot sauce.
 

Doug

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Patti, you're right, pork rinds (or pig skins as I call them) do have about the same consistency as those rice cakes. And a whole lot better taste.
 

Josephine

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You should try pork scratchings!
 

Josephine

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Actually, having Googled it, it's the local name here for your pork rinds!! Should have checked before I posted! Local delicacy here.

Pay no mind to me - my head is all fuzzed up with meds!
 
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Pattipoo

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We've got to be the coolest kids on the block!! Mom....MOM...get your face out of the toilet....um...maybe this isn't so cool after all!!

Jose....pack up and come to NC...baby doll, I've got a room with your name on it!! Gat and Dougie are close enough to visit.....oh girl, we could party while you rehab. Bring the flags....we Lutherans love flags!

warning...I may NEVER let you leave!!

(I actually have an attorney friend that I need to "fix up"....he needs a good woman...just sayin')
 
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