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Discussion in 'Knee Replacement Recovery Area' started by sondrals, Aug 24, 2019.
I am so sorry, sondrals!
I pray that they can put their argument aside and do what’s best for you.
My mom has made an ultimatum of I leave him or she is through with me. Since she left and I need help I guess Im now disowned
OK. Let your mom have her dramatic little hissy-fit, and try to ignore it. She and your boyfriend should be considering what is best for you, not arguing with each other.
You're an adult and you get to choose what you do, but at this stage you shouldn't be expected to make a decision based on your mom's ultimatum.
My bet is she'll cool down and come back in a day or two.
You'll be able to manage fine on your own. Other people have done it - some even came home to look after themselves immediately after discharge from hospital. Just keep your phone with you at all times, so you can call for help in an emergency.
Have a look at this thread, where you may pick up some ideas:
Home Alone After Surgery
You may have to arrange alternative transport for PT or doctors' visits. It won't hurt if you have to miss a PT session or two. There's no need to rush this recovery.
Is it normal to still be using a walker at this point? I’m able to get around fairly well with it but scared to go without it. I can use my cane but I don’t use it when I’m home alone because I don’t want to fall.
I was able to throw some laundry in yesterday, washed up some dishes. Fed our dog her dinner before my bf got home from work. My bf helped get everything out of the dryer and fold stuff, helped put dishes away. I started breakfast this morning and he finished it.
I have both a standard walker and a wheeled one so I could use the wheeled one to set stuff on and carry it from room to room.
I cry a lot and feel really alone now. I can’t believe this is all happening this way. My bf even has offered to move out and get his own apartment so my mom would talk to me again but I feel that’s unfair as well.
Use your walker as long as you want, it’s totally up to you, there is no set timeframe for it. It is a tool to help you. I really liked mine.
Crying much more than usual is par for the course in this recovery even under the best of circumstances. Add in family upset and you’ll cry more
If you have a physical therapist, he or she can help you decide about the walker or cane or whatever assistance device you use. I am still using a standard, two wheeled metal walker like the ones at the hospital. I asked my PT if I was ready to transition to my (4 wheeled) rollator walker that I used before surgery, and so she watched me walking with it. She didn't feel my gait was steady enough quite yet, but maybe in a week or two.
I like the rollator because it has a seat to sit on, or to help carry things from one room to another.
@Carole4815 i just used my rollator one to carry my peanut butter toast from the kitchen to the couch so I could have a snack. It was that or stand while eating
I go back to the physical therapist Wednesday so I will talk to her about it
They can advise but it’s still your final decision. Sometimes they tell people to stop using the walker before the patient is ready. Your safety and confidence is what’s most important.
@sondrals, I used the wheeled walker for more than two weeks because it felt so stable and secure. I think you should use whatever makes you comfortable. Sending you prayers for peace.
I used my walker until my pt tried me with a cane & I did great. I think I was at about 3 or 4 weeks?
I hope you are doing ok...
@Ladyala I'm doing ok I guess, very low in spirits. Very conflicted on what to do with my personal life. Knee wise I’m not sure I’m making the progress I should be. I’m frustrated I’m not walking independently by now. I’m really lonely now, don’t really have anyone to talk to. Gotta figure out how to get groceries soon. My first post op appointment is Wednesday, maybe they will clear me to drive then and things might get better. Right now I feel like nothing is ever going to be normal again
Please don’t get frustrated about progress on day 11. Your body still hasn’t figured out all what happened to it. I was certainly not walking independently by day 11.
This is where we come in. There are lots of members’ threads to read, people going through this recovery needing support. We help each other.
Does your local grocery store deliver, or at the very least can you order online and a friend go pick it up?
Try to relax, your emotions are much more vulnerable after a major surgery. Things will work out.
You are in a marathon & its only the beginning of the first mile. I know its frustrating. We've all been there! Many times I got depressed & felt like I had made a mistake. But then I'd be reminded how much pain I was in before. Its really really hard but so worth it in the end. I'm nowhere near the end myself but 11 weeks today & its SO much better. You will get through this.
I can't imagine dealing with the family issues you are facing on top of the recovery issues. I'm so sorry you have to go through it. I hope you can find a friend to visit you. I had visits a few times & that always lifted my spirits.
I know it feels like you can't do much of anything. But remember your body is healing, that is a big something & takes a lot of energy!!
Be kind to yourself & baby that baby knee. We are all rooting for you!!
@Jockette our grocery store does have order pick up so I’ll probably see if I can find someone who can take me to do that and help unload it at home. They might do delivery but I’m not sure as I am in Alaska and many places here don’t offer delivery.
I really miss my mom. And my bf is at work 10 hours a day. Gives me lots of time to think about stuff and worry myself into a lather. I’ve read so many horror stories and I’m so scared of them happening to me.
You're going through a lot of emotional stress, as well as physical trauma and this recovery plays havoc with your emotions anyway. Post op blues is a reality - be prepared for it
Don't worry about not walking independently. That will come, in time. Meanwhile, keep on using the walker. It's only a walking aid and there are no prizes for giving it up early. Some people choose to use a walker until they can walk without limping - and that's OK, too.
I'm sorry you're missing your mom so much - that's probably what she's counting on, to make you do what she wants. At your age, she shouldn't be trying to control you as if you're still a child. She's being inconsiderate in trying to force her ideas on you when you're in a weakened condition.
Ask your boyfriend to pick up a few essential groceries after his work, or at the weekend. Or order and have delivered. You'll only need to put away food that needs to be kept chilled or frozen. The rest can wait.
This is your time, when people need to give a little extra, so don't feel guilty about needing extra help.
For the first 2 weeks I did almost nothing but hang out in bed watching streaming and I think it was almost a month before I ditched the walker completely. Don't rush yourself.
I'm so sorry you're dealing with all this family drama. This is a time when not only your attention, but the attention of those who care for you should be focused on you and your recovery, nothing else. And after surgery our emotions tend to be very fragile, so it's all magnified.
Spend lots of time here. We've all been through the recovery, and frankly, we've all had our own variations of family drama, so there's lots of support to be had.
Take care of you first and foremost. Especially right now.
Just checking in. The last few days have been long as my bf works 4 10s a week so I’m alone the majority of the day.
My mom is at least talking to me on the phone. I just don’t know long term how I’m going to manage to have a relationship that’s so... restrictive? She’s also told me she feels I need to go to counseling. She might be right but she might be disappointed when they don’t tell me it’s all my or my bfs fault.
My knee feels ok, I use my CPM 7-8 hours a day per my drs instruction. Most the time I can get a nap while I’m it which is weird because I despise sleeping on my back and I’m not getting great sleep at night. Maybe too many naps during the day.
I’m still using my walker. Used the cane a bit to get around today but the walker makes me feel safer so I mostly use it. My bf helped me get into the shower last night so I was able to get a shower in my shower chair. I get so nervous putting my full weight on my surgery leg getting in/out of the shower.
Tomorrow I have PT then an appointment to get my staples out. Will find out if I need to continue to use my immobilizer brace. Part of me hopes not. But I’m scared of going without it. In PT they’ve had me walk with my walker without it and with walking sticks without it. It’s just somehow different when at home and alone.
Talked to my boss today and he admitted he probably was at least bringing his walker with him for up to a month. After he told me 2 days post op he was walking around fine without assistance. Maybe he just said it to make me feel better.
Have some cool bruising going on. PT used kinesio tape to help with swelling and bruising on my lower leg. So now I look like I have a tattoo down there. Have attached a picture.
Keep using the walker as long as you feel you need to. Don't be pressured into giving it up before you feel ready.
Try to ignore your mother's counselling advice. Or tell her you'll think about it when you're fully recovered - but remember that takes a year, so you have plenty of time to choose your own course of action.
What a neat pattern the kineseo tape has made on your bruising!
Here's an article about Bruising after surgery