Signs that #2 is coming soon

Toddlermom

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Forgive me because this will not be polite. So when I booked a surgeon for my historically bad left hip in Jan 2016, he informed me that I had bilateral hip dysplasia.....and that my right hip would also need to be replaced eventually. :tantrum2: I was crushed. I was 42 and had a 2&4 year old to take care of. I asked if they would replace both, and they told me No. He informed me the right one will need to be done in 3-5 years.

18 months after getting my brand new hip, the signs are appearing. It's tough to get my right sock on, the tummy tilt forward has returned, pulling myself upstairs with my arms, and it is tough to walk while carrying my daughter......ugh! I am not ready to do this again. My plan is for October 2018 when my youngest is 5. :beg: Many will say, do it now. I know the relief from a new hip, but this has simply been an overwhelming 18 months for them. A hip, a school change, my return to work, hurricane Harvey......I simply cannot manage another thing.

These are little signs now, but I know what's coming. And it makes me furious because I found my groove. The kids were finally not referencing 'mommy's ouchie' ALL the time. I took a beautiful vacation in Colorado....and walked everywhere. And this week, I was walking on campus and I felt the sharp stabbin pain and wished that I had my cane. :gaah:. Damn. It's time to go back on Meloxicam, and sort out which doctor I can use with my new health insurance, and pray that this was simply a rough couple of weeks.

I know it is wishful thinking, however October 2018 is the first big gap in my work that I can take 10 weeks off. And I have been there less than a year. And so many other reasons. Just taking a moment to vent.......cause folks here GET IT. :banghead:
 
I hear you.... annoying doesn't cut it. I'm not in the same boat but I have a 2 year old and a 4 year old and having at thr on my right hip in November. Don't know how I am going to cope not picking them up when you can't pick up anything heavier than a kettle for a while. I'm sure whatever you decide to do and whenever you decide to doo it, will be the best thing for you and your family.
 
Hi @Toddlermom
It's nice to meet you. Thanks for sharing your story with us.

I sense your frustration in all of this. I'm sorry that you're struggling and that the timing feels off.
Waiting more than a year to have a second surgery is a long time it you're experiencing loss of mobility and pain to the degree you mentioned.

Kids are resilient as you know, they'll just adjust and roll with whatever you explain to them is necessary.
- Mommy hurts and she wants to get fixed to be the best mommy she can be for you! -

It never feels like an opportune time for surgery and I understand your work situation but I'm sure with some discussion it could all work out for the best. In the end only you can decide when to move forward with surgery.
If you know it's inevitable and it's causing you stress.....that's just creating one more negative to process through. It's hard to hide stress from those who know us best and keep them from feeling it's negative effects.

My heart truly goes out to you. It's a big decision that most of us struggled with for various reasons. I'll pray that you decide on the perfect time for you and your family and feel comfortable with you decision.
You're right.....we do get it! So please keep us posted so we can support and encourage when needed.

Best wishes for a peaceful, pain free week!
 
Hip Dysplasia sucks!!!!!
I am going in for my right hip...and was told that I will have to have the left done at some point.
My hats off to you moms. To have young kids with this.
We shall overcome!! In solidarity...

Liz
 
@burtival I have quite a few tips for managing small kiddos. At 3 weeks, I was taking care of them cautiously alone 6 hours a day. Totally learned a bunch. (And laying down nightly at 5:30 pm completely exhausted!).

One lesson that I will not repeat was the parade of helpers. I had a series of helpers that pitched in for 2-5 days, and that inconsistency didn't help the kids. (Over 3 weeks) Every couple of days they would get more excited about the NEW person who was working very hard to entertain them in ALL new ways.

This next time I will hire someone to help for a few hours a day (after preschool)....3-4 days from 2-5:30 pm. And then friends can be visitors. The changes in structure really heightened their emotional rollercoaster. (Who's next, what is today's super exciting fun, and so forth). Once it was just me and the kids....and normal life, the kids hit a BIG low being stuck without another exciting houseguest to entertain. And they didn't pull out of that low for a few weeks.

If you had 1 or 2 family members only, it would probably work.

PS- I was able to cautiously get to the floor to change diapers pretty quickly. Within 4-6 weeks? And a 2 year old can get up on the bed for a diaper change. I had an anterior replacement.
 
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@Layla It just felt better to be mad about it...since I don't really talk about it at home. Working on a college campus and helping mucking family houses after Harvey......it has been a very physical month. Hopefully, a return to meloxicam and some rest will bring the inflammation down. But I know what that pelvic tilt means now---and that was the overwhelming post response in my heart. I had no idea it was happening the first time around. Now I know better-

The kids are resilient, but in the past 18 months there has been so much. Major surgery, school change, 3 large weather events (Harvey & 2 tornadoes within blocks in 2 cities), mommy went back to work, and daddy's job suddenly required extensive travel for 9 months. Ugh. It is just too much.

I have promised that I will not let it get as bad as hip #1. It was 6 years.....Labral repair, 2 pregnancies before the eventual THR. Maybe a bit of care, I can time this surgery better for the family. Thank you For being a kind ear for the range of emotions--
 
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@sequin98 Dysplasia sucks-BIG TIME! So much energy is sucked out of you managing your mobility. However, your new identity is ....a bionic babe. I know recovery, and life gets easier. I just wish that there was more time/space before the next THR. Solidarity...sister!
 
Bionic babe, haha.....love it! @Toddlermom

You can feel mad about it.....Who of us hasn't felt that way. I know I
was mad my hip became arthritic, wondering why....was it passed down through my parents
who both had hip replacements, was it due to the way I walked, sat, overused etc. I wondered all sorts
of silly things. But it boiled down to - It is, what it is....so how am I going to deal with it.
Which is exactly what you're doing. I also consoled myself thinking about some of the other horrible
things people suffer with and are left with no options. I often reflected on how a mere 50+ yrs or so
ago we wouldn't have the options we now do and be relegated to a wheel chair for life. Scary prospect!
I felt too young at 60 and you're quite a bit younger so I get it and I truly sympathize with you. I can't imagine going through this with toddlers. Your strength shines through!

You've been through a lot and so have your kids, especially lately. It does sound overwhelming. I'm glad you came here and hope you continue to as you journey on. We'll support you through tears, fears, laughter and screaming.....just no kicking or throwing things.....that's where I'll draw the line lol!

Wishing you a great day and a peaceful rest of the week!
 
@Layla Although I prefer bionic babe, robot mommy is also funny for little ones too! I spent quite a bit of time worrying and asking questions in this forum in 2016. My first visit to an OS was when I was 20, so......I know how lifechanging this surgery will be. And I will have 2 stable hip joints for the first time in a decade. The destination will be worth it, yes. Eventually. When the time comes. Someday. Down the road. Not supposed to have to think about it yet. Haha!! And now there are nagging reminders that it is growing closer and it is time to plan. The right hip isn't bone on bone yet - so there is time for deliberate planning. (getting my doctor in place, childcare, and so forth). I have promised myself that I will not let it reach the pain threshold of hip #1. You are 2 months on the other side....how's the view?
 
Hi @Toddlermom
I'm 3 months on the other side and the view is great.....thanks for asking!
I only suffered for about 20 months which seems short in the scheme of things
compared to some others. I was miserable but terrified of surgery. I see my OS
next week for my 3 month post op and am looking forward to it. I still have a little
swelling in the knee area on my surgical leg which I plan to address with him.
I have some arthritis in my other hip also but my docs response when I asked how long
I had was "years" I guess we will see, as I don't know if they can really gauge any one
individuals rate of progression. Just like you....I will not let my other hip go as long as
this one, once it begins to bother me. It's not worth it! Living without that nasty pain
has been such a blessing.
Wishing you a great weekend with those precious little ones!
 
Hi @Toddlermom, Sorry to hear that your other hip has gotten so bad. It can come on really quickly. I think stress can accelerate the process. It sounds like your life has been VERY stressful. My hips snowballed after my brother and mom died. The one positive is that you will feel so much better after that second hip is done. I hope things shift so that you don't feel so much pressure. I was lucky that I could have mine done at the same time.
 
I’m with you! Had my left hip done in May of 2016. My Dr told me the right would need to be eventually. As I had no pain in the right hip I thought that would be a few years away. Surprise!! I started feeling the pain in Feb of 2017......and here we are.

I don’t have small children and I’m older than you, so I have fewer obstacles. I’m just wondering how this body is going to act this time around. We’re all in this together, and that makes a difference. Saying prayers on your behalf.


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