AlaskanTKR
graduate
OK - Not sure if you guys can help but I am totally frustrated and not quite sure who to talk with - Gentlemen - Apologies ahead of time for husband bashing - but......
OK - So My other half came home from work - We worked together on installing laminate flooring (No kneeling - sitting and ripping staples out, pulling molding, etc - He did majority of the installing) for the first few days of his home time (1 week). Monday night we took the dogs for a "short walk" down the river. He just doesn't get it. He kept walking and walking - we usually take a dog, go straight down to the river and let my kiddo and the dog play - but nnnnooooooooo - He decided to walk and walk. I should have just sat down and waited but I didn't want him to be disappointed. So I kept walking (big rocks, etc. - NOT FUN) He even had us cross a very shallow stream - slippery rocks - I was about ready to kill him. Finally I just told him I was going back. By the time I got to the car my knee was huge and I was just about in tears. He just doesn't get it. We have talked about all this and he was able to take a week of leave from work to handle our 9 year old during the first 10 days - He will then go back up to work for 2 weeks. B4 we found out about the TKR he and my 9 yearold were going up to where he grew up. I thought maybe he would bounce that to Labor Day so he could come home and help out again. NO - He is still planning to go - I will be 3 weeks out and we have 3 large dogs with large poop that gets picked up daily (NO WALKS _ FENCED YARD !!!). Let alone everything else. We live about 50 miles from the OS and it is a drive on a highway at 65mph (summertime - to keep up with traffic it can often be 75-80). I would like to smash him. I tried to explain that this is different from all the scopes and I probably wouldn't be partying at 3 days. I love him and know he loves me but he is being a real butt-head. His theory is "you'll be fine - you always are -you're tough". Is this what I get for always sucking up and "being tough". Up here I don't have a choice. Life goes on and often there is no one to turn to for help. So you do it and pay the price later. Funny thing is if he gets a headache you would think the world was ending.
In the end it isn't about the river walk - its about when the tkr is over and I get back to the house. I don't think he gets it. I won't be able to do most of all I do to keep the kid, the dogs and the husband smiling. From what I gather I will need time to rest and work the knee. I will need to be back at work in 4 weeks so I have to focus. He will be here for 10 days including the day of the tkr - then I am on my own. I think my 9 year old will be a great help - she is a super kiddo. But ..... I almost wonder if it would be better if he just went back up to work. UGHHHHHH OR - will he at some point get that this is a bit more than a scope and in the end it will be worth it.
Suggestions (No time for marriage counseling) - Ideas - He is 3 years younger than me and in all honesty due to the fact he works away and I am very independent he is used to me always taking care of everything. I know I will probably do great and bounce back quick - but seriously -I just don't think he gets it.
Thanks again -
Marianne
OK - So My other half came home from work - We worked together on installing laminate flooring (No kneeling - sitting and ripping staples out, pulling molding, etc - He did majority of the installing) for the first few days of his home time (1 week). Monday night we took the dogs for a "short walk" down the river. He just doesn't get it. He kept walking and walking - we usually take a dog, go straight down to the river and let my kiddo and the dog play - but nnnnooooooooo - He decided to walk and walk. I should have just sat down and waited but I didn't want him to be disappointed. So I kept walking (big rocks, etc. - NOT FUN) He even had us cross a very shallow stream - slippery rocks - I was about ready to kill him. Finally I just told him I was going back. By the time I got to the car my knee was huge and I was just about in tears. He just doesn't get it. We have talked about all this and he was able to take a week of leave from work to handle our 9 year old during the first 10 days - He will then go back up to work for 2 weeks. B4 we found out about the TKR he and my 9 yearold were going up to where he grew up. I thought maybe he would bounce that to Labor Day so he could come home and help out again. NO - He is still planning to go - I will be 3 weeks out and we have 3 large dogs with large poop that gets picked up daily (NO WALKS _ FENCED YARD !!!). Let alone everything else. We live about 50 miles from the OS and it is a drive on a highway at 65mph (summertime - to keep up with traffic it can often be 75-80). I would like to smash him. I tried to explain that this is different from all the scopes and I probably wouldn't be partying at 3 days. I love him and know he loves me but he is being a real butt-head. His theory is "you'll be fine - you always are -you're tough". Is this what I get for always sucking up and "being tough". Up here I don't have a choice. Life goes on and often there is no one to turn to for help. So you do it and pay the price later. Funny thing is if he gets a headache you would think the world was ending.
In the end it isn't about the river walk - its about when the tkr is over and I get back to the house. I don't think he gets it. I won't be able to do most of all I do to keep the kid, the dogs and the husband smiling. From what I gather I will need time to rest and work the knee. I will need to be back at work in 4 weeks so I have to focus. He will be here for 10 days including the day of the tkr - then I am on my own. I think my 9 year old will be a great help - she is a super kiddo. But ..... I almost wonder if it would be better if he just went back up to work. UGHHHHHH OR - will he at some point get that this is a bit more than a scope and in the end it will be worth it.
Suggestions (No time for marriage counseling) - Ideas - He is 3 years younger than me and in all honesty due to the fact he works away and I am very independent he is used to me always taking care of everything. I know I will probably do great and bounce back quick - but seriously -I just don't think he gets it.
Thanks again -
Marianne