Had my surgery three weeks today. Thanks to Bonesmart, I have been able to understand how utterly normal my recovery has been. I still have trouble sleeping at night--I can fall asleep easily but always seem to wake up in the middle of the night because I can't find a comfortable position. But I'm learning the range of shifting positions and just don't fuss much about it.
The really pleasant surprises: 1) my balance is much better than I expected. I was terribly worried about that but about a week ago, I suddenly understood how much more stable a platform I have in my new knee. That was a moment of great zen. 2) if I'm paying attention, I can see the improvement almost on a daily basis. I've had moments when I've forgotten to bring my cane with me in the house--and I suddenly realize that I am walking unassisted. 3) I have already had a few times, when friends are visiting, that I stopped thinking about my knee altogether. My knee is not shy about letting me know when I need to change position or get up, but it has been nice to experience moments when I am having a normal conversation. 4) I am really liking the PT. All my sessions are by zoom, which means that no one is touching my knee. I start out every day wanting to see how much I can do, but knowing I can back off if my knee lets me know I should.
I got on my stationary bike a couple of days ago--still can't do a full revolution. But it's thrilling that I can get on the bike at all.
The weird surprise has been the rollercoaster of emotions. I'm a pretty accepting person, but some days, I just seem to get blue--tired of the monotony of post-op or just plain low energy. Often, it is connected to how little I slept.
What helps me tremendously is to think back to how bad things were before my surgery. Standing for any length of time was agony and walking the dogs was painful every day. I have no doubt that the TKR was the right thing to do because for the first time in a couple of years I have hope--hope that I can get back to doing the things that I love without pain.
P.S. The dogs have been wonderful. They seem to intuit that I am recovering from some sort of trauma. They spend most of their time at my side and are great about getting out of the way when I walk. The five year old brings me toys to try to make me feel better. I keep telling them that this is going to be okay and that we will be taking long walks together in the future.
PPS It is Thanksgiving in Canada today, so I just wanted to express my gratitude for this community. Thank you for your sage advice and support.