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Second guessing my decision

Discussion in 'Hip Replacement Pre-Op Area' started by honeybeast, May 14, 2018.

  1. honeybeast

    honeybeast junior member
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    I was diagnosed with arthritis in my hip about 6 years ago. Since then I've tried different treatments such as PT and cortizone injections. The cortizone gave me some relief, but with each injection I had diminishing returns until it just wasn't practical anymore.

    When first diagnosed I could walk about a mile until the pain in my buttocks forced me to rest. Presently I can about make it from the car into the restaurant or grocery and I need to sit down, so my degeneration is advancing. I think my come-to-Jesus moment happened when I accompanied my husband into town on the subway, walked to lunch and one store and then returned home... and my hip and back hurt so bad I sat in the car and sobbed "I can't live like this anymore".

    Some days it's so bad I just want to lie in bed. Especially when the air pressure changes. I can tell 2 days away when rain is coming in because it aches so badly. Then there are days - like today - when my pain medication kicks in and I've gotten a pretty good night's sleep that I feel... almost normal... It's on those days when I begin to doubt myself thinking .. maybe I'm jumping the gun on this surgery.

    It's normal to have good days along with bad flare days.. right? Can anyone share their experiences regarding second guessing your decision to have the surgery? I'm 5 days out from surgery and took my last pain pill last night...
     
  2. dogchick

    dogchick senior

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    I also have good days and bad days with my hip. The weather does impact on my pain level as well. On good days I wonder if I’m doing the right thing with having this surgery. I also second guess when I read experiences of people who are much worse off then I am. But, then I think about the things that I struggle with because of my hip. Cooking, doing dishes, walking my dog, (it is even affecting my sex life) I work in a high school setting and follow my students to all their classes, which is a lot of walking and sometimes standing, which is the worst. So it is impacting my ability to do my job as well. That’s what reminds me that I don’t want to act old before my time. I want to enjoy many more years without so much pain. That is what convinces me that having this upcoming surgery is a good thing for me. I hope this was helpful to you. Wishing you the best for your surgery. Your pain level is much worse than mine, so I am confident that it is a good time for you to be pain free. :friends:
     
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  3. Eman85

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    My regular Dr. put it to me like this, you're probably as healthy as you're ever going to be. It's just a decision of does the benefits outweigh the rest. My OS put it to me that my hip problem won't kill me, but he could help me get rid of the pain to make my life better. It's up to you, I was undecided up until the day before surgery, once I came to peace with it I was all in.
     
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  4. honeybeast

    honeybeast junior member
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    @dogchick it sounds like we have very similar circumstances. My OA is also affecting my sex life. It's hard to feel romantic when it hurts and there are no comfortable positions (sorry if TMI)

    I've gotten to the point where I avoid doing things that involve a lot of walking, and walking used to be one of my most enjoyable activities. There's a peaceful cemetery across the street from my house with a lovely pond full of water lillies... I'd put my headphones in and have long walks over there. How I miss that...

    If we try to go out to eat and there's a wait for a table... I have to have a place to sit. I can't stand for 20 minutes waiting on a table or my back and hip will be screaming and it will spoil my mood and our meal.

    @Eman85 my doctor basically said the same thing. He said 'well its not going to ever get any better, so you have to decide when you've had enough". I guess it's just anxiety creeping in now that I'm on the final approach..
     
  5. dogchick

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    @honeybeast No, not TMI, just a fact of life with arthritic hips. I have the same issue with positions. Walking is also a centering and calming activity as well as bonding activity with my dog as well. I can still do about a mile walk, but, I am usually very sore and still and painful after I sit for a few minutes afterwards. I used to walk 3-4 miles with her, but can’t do that any longer. I also have to have a place to sit when waiting at a restaurant. In school, I have to make sure I have a cushioned chair most of the time because the regular desk chairs are kind of hard. Oh! And I used to sit on the floor in my living room all the time too, but can no longer do that anymore either. So, yes, lots in common. I will look forward to reading about your recovery soon!
     
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  6. Jaycey

    Jaycey SUPER MODERATOR Moderator

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    We all questioned our decision on this surgery. But from what you are telling us your world has narrowed pretty significantly. This surgery will give you your life back! No more planning on activities based on how much pain you can tolerate.
     
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  7. honeybeast

    honeybeast junior member
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    You're right @Jaycey. This is no way to live, not being able to do things like go to Disneyworld with the fam because of my painful joints. Time to move forward and take my life back. I can do this.
     
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  8. anny

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    @honeybeast ......I hope you have made peace with your surgery decision now you are so near. I was nearly 6 mths between getting my date and the op and I questioned whether I was having it too soon every day. My hip did not have the awful pain yours have, it was more of a limp/stuck hip thing, but I know if I'd been having significant pain it would have been a no brainer. At my 6 wk post op check my surgeon said it was a lot worse than the xrays had shown, so I felt 'justified'. But you sound to be in a lot of pain a lot of the time.....your 'good' days (and even they are not 'perfectl' days are they?) seem to be occasional and you deserve more than the odd day that is less painful, but you still can't do the things you love. So go into your THR knowing that there's still a bit of a hill to climb on the other side, but you're going upwards not downwards.....I'm counting the days till I can take my 2 dogs for the long walks we used to do along the beach and that will be you soon :yes!::happydance:
     
  9. Josephine

    Josephine FORUM ADMIN, NURSE DIRECTOR Administrator

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    You might get some reassurance using the chart. The results are 'for your eyes only' so don't post them here. But the chart is self explanatory. Just click on the PDF and print it off.
     

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  10. Mojo333

    Mojo333 FORUM ADVISOR Forum Advisor

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    Is not going to get "well".
    Less terrible days are good...well, listen to how they even sounds.:heehee:
    It's scary to think you are having something replaced, but Jaycey is right!
    I got my life back truly, and it was worth the recovery journey.
    My life was becoming miserable.
    You CAN do this...
    Hope you find peace with it as we will be here to cheer you on.:tada:
     
  11. wayner1

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    Like @honeybeast, I was doing alot of second guessing, trying to decide if I had enough pain or not given it is intermittent but increasing. I had my consultation and the referring former OS said it was my choice - try some injections to get a year or two more or go for the surgery. I haven't had any shots but figured a year later or two later, is it really worth waiting and still suffering? The consensus is I have to get it done someday, so why not now? Whether I'm 59 or 61 isn't going to affect the longevity much. And now that I've made the decision to go ahead, I'm finding that I'm recognizing the pain more - things I had been pushing down or ignoring before are now coming forefront as part of my acceptance of the change I guess. I just have too much time now to wait and think but once I get a date, then I can start really planning. Good luck on your surgery and keep us posted.
     
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  12. honeybeast

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    @wayner1 yes exactly me too. I think im just more aware of my pain levels now. But I had an experience last night that sealed the deal for me.

    I had to discontinue my pain medicine Sunday night in preparation for surgery. Last night was my first night without pain meds. Omg it was so awful. Both hips just ached so bad I tossed and turned the entire night. Its like sleeping with rocks in your pockets. I realized this is what my life has become. I can't sleep.. can't function without pain relief. I don't want this to be my life.

    Fortunately my doctor told me I could take celebrex right up till the night before surgery. So I'm hoping tonight will be better. And I'm looking forward to a day (after I get #2 done..) that I can go off the drugs altogether.
     
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  13. Mojo333

    Mojo333 FORUM ADVISOR Forum Advisor

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    And it won't be...
    I felt exactly that miserable.
    No regrets!
    Best of luck this week...you're going to be better than before.
     
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  14. Sbrummer

    Sbrummer junior member

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    I feel the same way. I want the surgery but I don’t. My pain level, however, stays well above 5 - even on a good day. I know I’m doing the right thing but that doesn’t necessarily make it any less daunting.
     
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  15. sequin98

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    When I saw an OA (the first visit, after waiting a year) I could walk fine, had manageable pain. I was told I had end stage OA, but I didn't need surgery. Whew! At this point, I was determined to dodge surgery. I took soooo many prolotherapy injections. They no longer gave me relief, and useless for bone on bone. A year later, I wished I had pleaded for the surgery. Heck my xray told the story. I was in denial.
    It is daunting. Scary. Life changing...for the better. When you don't worry about parking and how far you have to walk/hobble/limp....you will know that you did the right thing. :)
     
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  16. dogchick

    dogchick senior

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    @honeybeast I’m so sorry you had such a bad night. Only 2 more sleeps before your hip surgery, soon you won’t be dealing with pain on your right side. :yes!: Keeping you in my thoughts.
     
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  17. honeybeast

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    @Mojo333 I would not wish this on anyone. I read your recovery story. I know you had a rough go of it but you made it through so I'm confident I can do the same. My knees are also arthritic and have started to really hurt getting up from a seated position and lying in bed. Hoping that doesn't negatively affect my recovery. I wonder if my body alignment is getting worse and putting more stress on them.

    @sequin98 same here. I looked at the xray. Thought... surely its not THAT bad? I mean.. I can see narrowing of cartilage but am I at 'end stage' like the OS said? In retrospect... I probably waited too long. I waited till the pain limited my life so much I couldn't do anything anymore.

    @dogchick Last night was better. My pain level decreased from a 7 to a more manageable 3 or 4. I took the Celebrex (he said I could take up to 200mg a day) along with 2 tylenol arthritis strength (also ok'd by OS) I fought with the pillow all night. That bulky thing between my legs... Why hasn't some company come up with a more compact version so that when I roll over there isn't a tsunami of blankets? There has to be a better solution. I may have to break out my sewing machine after surgery and develop something that's not so cumbersome.

    I managed to get 4-5 hours of sleep - which is an improvement over the 2 hours the night previously. I still feel tired, but not as zombiefied as yesterday. Today I'm packing my hospital bag and finishing up a few last tasks at home. Changing the sheets, one last load of laundry, making sure my walker and other mobility aids are clearly marked with my name... Hubby has taken off till Memorial Day to help me - which I'm grateful for.

    2 more days.. I think the waiting is the worst. I'll be so glad when I wake up in recovery and it's all behind me.
     
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  18. Eman85

    Eman85 graduate

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    If there is one thing I can say it's that since about 6-8 weeks into recovery I sleep the whole night without waking. Even if something like the phone or a storm wakes me I can go right back to sleep and complete my 8 hrs, and I've even had longer uninterrupted sleeps. For that alone I'm very pleased.
     
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  19. Mojo333

    Mojo333 FORUM ADVISOR Forum Advisor

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    I was also diagnosed with 'end stage' OA... at 53 almost 54, same as you. And when I asked which hip was worse, was told "flip a coin" How can this be? But so it was, and so I was told no amount of PT, injections, or pain medication was going to alleviate the ever debilitating pain and lack of mobility I was suffering.
    I was still doing everything I needed to do - working, trying to get daughter off to college, and volunteering...just limping more and more...and IMPOSSIBLE to sleep which starts making you seriously CRAZY:flabber: and then depressed:sigh:
    I know you are anxious...and I will not lie to you...if you read my early posts...can see some hard days...BUT TEMPORARY and well worth all the walking through the fire.
    You are going to do fine and be fine.
    We'll be waiting for you on the HEALING side.:yes:
     
  20. honeybeast

    honeybeast junior member
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    So you're not even going to believe what happened tonight. We went out to a local restaurant for dinner. My last blast for a while.. And while I was walking into the restaurant I noticed my back was hurting more than usual. Finished our burgers and told hubby "you have to take me home". The pain got worse and worse till I can barely move or walk. I went straight to bed and iced it, then just started shaking from the pain. I think I may have pulled a muscle in my back. I didn't feel any type of stab of pain indicating an injury - it came on over the course of an hour or so. And all I did was get out of the car and walk.

    So I'm lying here in bed worried the surgeon will cancel my surgery... Trying to relax and hoping it feels better tomorrow.
     

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