THR Scared and now feeling like I should back out

[JaeHelen]

Hello JaeHelen,

I read your OP and can definitely relate, I thought about backing as well, but you really do have consider the activities that this arthritis is robbing you of. Right now you're 63, if you do wait ,when would be the appropriate time to get the surgery after you're very old and can't really enjoy activities anymore? Getting the surgery now will give you many years that you can actually enjoy an active life style without having to make compromises for your hip.

Thanks Tom - That's exactly what my dtr has said. It is helpful to hear from an outside pov.

 

[57YearOldMe]

I think I hold the record here for putting it off, 32 years from the time I had a replacement hip in my hands at the first surgeon's office. What made me do it you might ask? My GP convinced me that I wasn't going to get any younger or be in any better shape than I was. He said I'd recover well since I was healthy and active. Part of my putting it off was also I only wanted to do it once per side and with any luck it will work out that way. All of that said I don't regret putting it off and I don't regret doing it.

Eman, how did you deal with the pain? I imagine you were employed all those years if you don't mind me asking was it physical work? I'm just starting to wrap my head around the fact that I may need both hips done in the future...just wondering how far off I can put it, I believe when you replied to me the other day that you said you took it to near retirement so you didn't have to go back to work if you didn't want to? Doing Physical Therapy now and am having a second doctor give me his opinion. I just need to get as much information/opinions so I can go into this with a level head. A lot of good people on this forum sharing their thoughts/fears/successes really does help.

 

[Eman85]

@57YearOldMe I not only had physical jobs I'm dumb enough to have physical hobbies and do a lot of physical work on my land. I've had the hip pain since I was a kid, I guess it just became part of my life. The only thing I gave up in my 30's was playing ball and running. I took NSAIDS to help but tried to not take them too often as I knew they weren't good for me.

 

[Layla]

So many helpful accounts here reminding me why I love this forum so. I was a lurker here, hesitant to join a club I did not want to be in. I found the site through searching online trying to alleviate all the fears you mentioned, fears most of us can relate to.

I actually gained the courage to schedule my surgery through reading here, but cheated myself out of the one on one you’re receiving as a result of reaching out. I waited until the night before my surgery, in my anxiety to reach out here. I quickly received responses, and words that I clung to and kept in the forefront of my mind the morning of surgery.

Key things that helped me make my decision were, my life had shrunk. I was turning down invitations based on how I felt, or how I “might” feel on the day. Decisions hinged on length of car rides (uncomfortable confinement) if there were stairs I’d need to climb, how far would I need to walk from the car, into the venue. What if it was a bad pain day. At a restaurant I couldn’t simply get up and go, like others, I had to stand a minute to settle in, get my bearings so I’d feign looking for something in my handbag until I felt I could take off. I also waited for my adult children to not be looking my way upon rising from a chair because they recognized the ritual and witnessed the first painful steps, then would comment. “Mom, you need to address that hip”. I didn’t want to hear it. I was afraid, not ready. Not only did all of this push me toward surgery, but I realized I was as young and healthy as I may ever be, I was 60. My quality of life was not good and my mom said something I’ve often repeated here “sometimes we take chances with the hope of a brighter future.” I was ready to take that chance…

I scheduled my surgery and oddly comforted myself with the thought I had an escape clause. I didn’t have to do it, I could cancel at any time. However, I was pretty convinced I’d never cancel, only to put my self through the mental torture at a later date. I scheduled it, veered away from any topics on the forum that frightened me and plowed ahead. Here I am five years later and like most everyone, more than happy I did it! You will soon be also.

I wish you comfort and peace of mind as you make decisions and move forward.
@JaeHelen

 

[Layla]

Hello @JaeHelen
You haven't posted in awhile so I am wondering if you're still scheduled for surgery tomorrow? If so, I wish you an uneventful surgery and easy recovery. Please join us on the healing side once surgery is behind you. We'd love to support you on your healing journey...IF surgery is still on for October 19th.
Take Good Care!