THR RTHR Recovery with young children - tips?

[HipMom143]

Hi everyone, I’m so glad I found this forum. I just got the call to schedule my RTHR and I was shocked because I expected a longer wait time. I am trying to learn as much as I can so I can be mentally prepared for the surgery and have an idea of what to expect during recovery.
Any moms out there who have had surgery or waiting? My biggest concerns are how to manage the kids post-op. We have a 3.5 year old and the youngest is turning 1 at the end of the month. My husband will take some time off work and do the hands on care. And my mom plans to stay at our place as much as possible. How long will it be until I am able to care for them? We can’t afford for my husband to be off work for 12 weeks. My mom is retired and is willing to help as long as we need, but 12 weeks is a big commitment and I feel bad asking for that. My sisters have offered to take turns to give my mom a break but we’re not sure what the Covid restrictions are going to look like in BC and if that will even be allowed. Currently we are limited to our individual households, which is just me, hubby and our 2 kids. Any advice is appreciated. Reading the threads has already answered some of my other questions and reduced my anxiety a little.

 

[Jaycey]

@HipMom143 Welcome to BoneSmart!

If you have help from family and friends in the early days of your recovery that is ideal. You will be fully mobile and moving around on your own when you leave the hospital. But there is no predicting how long you will need before you can do all the childcare full time.

Something you need to consider is you will not be able to lift your little ones in the early stages of recovery. Probably not a problem for the 3.5 year old. But you may need help with the youngest.

I'm going to change your thread title so that our members with young children can come and offer their advice.

 

[HipMom143]

@HipMom143 Welcome to BoneSmart!

If you have help from family and friends in the early days of your recovery that is ideal. You will be fully mobile and moving around on your own when you leave the hospital. But there is no predicting how long you will need before you can do all the childcare full time.

Something you need to consider is you will not be able to lift your little ones in the early stages of recovery. Probably not a problem for the 3.5 year old. But you may need help with the youngest.

I'm going to change your thread title so that our members with young children can come and offer their advice.

Thanks @Jaycey for changing the thread title! I thought about doing that but during my bout of insomnia last night I couldn’t think of anything that made sense!
I did have restrictions on lifting after my c-section last year so the 3.5 year old (who was 2.5 at the time) was taught how to get in and out of the car seat, high chair, bathtub on his own with minimal assistance. That only lasted 6 weeks though. And the restriction on bending will prevent me from picking up the little one for sure. Hopefully those with young kids can offer some input.
In your case when were you able to bend past 90 degrees?

 

[Jaycey]

In your case when were you able to bend past 90 degrees?

I did have the 90 degree restriction post LTHR and it was only 6 weeks. But I had no restrictions post RTHR.

How heavy is your youngest. Hips don't like heavy lifting in the early days. But do discuss this concern with your surgeon.

 

[FCBayern]

I'm going to tag @Rosasweeney13, she recently had THR and has young children.

 

[HipMom143]

In your case when were you able to bend past 90 degrees?

I did have the 90 degree restriction post LTHR and it was only 6 weeks. But I had no restrictions post RTHR.

How heavy is your youngest. Hips don't like heavy lifting in the early days. But do discuss this concern with your surgeon.

She’s about 19 pounds now, will probably be able 20 pounds by that time. I’ve also emailed the surgeon to ask if they are doing anterior or posterior approach, since the restrictions for anterior would be more manageable

 

[HipMom143]

In your case when were you able to bend past 90 degrees?

I did have the 90 degree restriction post LTHR and it was only 6 weeks. But I had no restrictions post RTHR.

How heavy is your youngest. Hips don't like heavy lifting in the early days. But do discuss this concern with your surgeon.

I'm going to tag @Rosasweeney13, she recently had THR and has young children.

Thank you for doing this, @rosaseeney13 found me herself on a different thread I had asked in

 

[Jaycey]

You may not have any restrictions. But no matter what approach is used, lifting 20 pounds will not be possible post op. Ask your surgeon how long you might have this restriction.

 

[HipMom143]

@Jaycey you’re right, I was only focusing on the bending restriction and wasn’t considering her weight. I guess it doesn’t matter what approach they’ll use because I won’t be able to lift her post-op either way. That’s gonna be rough but it’ll be worth it in the long run when I can be more active with both of them.

 

[FCBayern]

That’s gonna be rough but it’ll be worth it in the long run when I can be more active with both of them.

Hang onto that thought @HipMom143, it will serve you well if you can keep it in mind and limit what you do in recovery. That will be difficult with children, but the sooner you let yourself heal, the sooner you will be back to a full active life with those precious ones.!

 

[HipMom143]

@FCBayern yes they are the reason that I’m doing the surgery. I want to be able to keep up with them and not always have to say no to all the fun stuff they want to do.

 

[Rosasweeney13]

If you have any questions let me know and I'll gladly answer them. Im curently on week five of recovery and it is getting easier to take care of my toddler and a puppy. 12 weeks is a long time for commitment I am sure, but I think it depends on how you feel post surgery. Week 1 I felt like I was not going to heal fast enough. By now I feel so much more capable and less worried about taking care of them. I hope your healing take less than 12 weeks and you can jump back to taking care of your babies

 

[HipMom143]

If you have any questions let me know and I'll gladly answer them. Im curently on week five of recovery and it is getting easier to take care of my toddler and a puppy. 12 weeks is a long time for commitment I am sure, but I think it depends on how you feel post surgery. Week 1 I felt like I was not going to heal fast enough. By now I feel so much more capable and less worried about taking care of them. I hope your healing take less than 12 weeks and you can jump back to taking care of your babies

Thanks @Rosasweeney13 it is reassuring to hear from others with young children that this is doable!

I spoke to the nurse at OS office yesterday and she confirmed that I will have bending and lifting restrictions because he will be using a lateral approach for the surgery. Not sure if that’s his preference or if it’s because of the degree of AVN. I see him in person on March 3rd so I’ll ask more questions then.

My latest thing to be anxious about is my period. I don’t have a regular cycle right now since I just weaned from breastfeeding. My app shows that I’m expecting my next period the week of surgery. Any tips Rosa or anyone else? I usually use a cup or tampons but with the bending restrictions that won’t be possible so pads it is I guess? Apologies to everyone for the TMI - I almost messaged Rosa privately but then figured that this post might be helpful to other women in the future.

 

[Rosasweeney13]

I had to switch to pads.its really alot of ingenuity to learn to do many things with restrictions. My surgery is anterior so I have an easier time. Im surprised they are doing lateral, my AVN was extremely bad, I had no femoral head at all. I do recomend buying a hip kit from Amazon. It has bee. A lot of help especially the grabbers. I have one in my bathroom just to help get my panties and pants up after the bathroom. I also got a raised toilet with grab bars, a tub seat I can scoot in an out of, and post surgery pants and shorts with buttons on the sides which made getting dressed so much easier. The kit had a sock helper and it's been amazing. Try to use the side of the bed where your surgery is at to sleep in, it makes it easier to get in and out. Find a comfy area in your house that keeps you sitting without passing 90degrees. Mine was an electronic overstuffed recliner. It was tall enough to keep me 90 degrees and it slowly would allow me to straighten my legs. I also got a portable cart for necessities for my kiddos. My hubby only took 2 weeks off. So I had a cart with diapers, wipes, snacks juice boxes and activities for her to do. I suggest go through your day to day and see what will be hard to do with your restrictions.

 

[HipMom143]

Thanks @Rosasweeney13 I really appreciate the level of detail on your post about all the practical things that will make recovery more manageable. I am a planner, so this gives me something to keep myself busy over the next month!
I have decided to rent a hospital bed because my own bed is 36” and I currently use a step stool to climb into it. That probably won’t be the safest option post-op. We have a power recliner in our bedroom that I used for middle of the night feeds - but I think it might be too low. I have to measure it and see if there is anyway we can safely raise it.
I was already browsing the hip kit on Amazon but I’m not sure what the hospital will be providing yet. Good thing I have Prime, so i can usually get things in a day or two.
My mom and sisters are going to make a calendar and sort out who is available to help us with the littles while I have restrictions. So that really has helped ease my mind a little.

 

[Going4fun]

@HipMom143 I assume hospitals vary but probably not that much.

I got a walker from the hospital. I think it was $25 added to my bill. And I got some ice bags, canvas-covered bags with pouches where I could insert ice.

That's it!

When it was time to transition to a cane, I purchased a colorful cane off amazon. I on my own bought an ice machine as I worried about going up and down stairs when small ice bags melted. The ice machine could generate cold therapy from morning to evening. I think I used it for three weeks or so. Then I switched to cold wraps that I purchased.

I also bought a long shoe horn, a leg lifter and a grabber too. But most of the home-living items, I was on my own.

 

[FCBayern]

I built a 2x4 and plywood platform with a raised edge all around so my recliner couldn't slip off, while adding over 4" in height @Rosasweeney13. If you have someone that could help with that I found the height difference really helped especially early on.

 

[GrannyC]

It looks like you’ve gotten a lot of good advice already. My thought would be to talk to the 3 1/2 yr old and explain what is going to happen and let them know you’d like their help. They can be your #1 nurse when you get home. They could easily get you items you need and they can play with the younger one. That way they will feel important and not start acting up due to lack of attention.

I’d also recommend a trip to a dollar store if you have one nearby (the one where everything is one dollar and I’m not sure if they are in Canada). You can stock up on some fun activities for both kids. Also a good supply of nutritious snacks for your stockpile. You can stash these away to use as needed. Kids always love new things or surprise snacks. They can also be rewards for extra good behavior.

The only items I bought ahead were a dressing stick from Amazon as well as some gel ice packs. Those are great to help with the pain after surgery. My toilet seat is a couple inches higher than a standard seat so I didn’t get the raised one and I made out fine. The hospital gave me a cane and walker which was paid for by my insurance. We learned that our local rescue squad keeps a supply of medical equipment for people to borrow so we were able to get a shower chair from them at no cost. It worked great!! I also bought a few cans of high protein Ensure to be certain I was getting enough nutrition as I read here on the forum that some people didn’t have much appetite for a few days after surgery.

I guess the main point I wanted to make is that I feel it is important the kids be informed ahead of time what is going to happen and who will be caring for them. I’m not sure how much the one year old will understand but I’d still let them know. I’ve always found they understand much more than we give them credit for. Everyone recovers at a different rate so you’ll have to play it by ear as to the length of time you’ll need help. It’s possible you could get along on your own after 3 weeks or so, depending on how well the one year old listens and will do things without you lifting him/her.

I should have added that I had anterior and my kids (four boys) are all grown with families of their own. My husband is retired so he was my caregiver.

I wish you well. You sound very organized so I’m sure everything will go smoothly. You will be very glad you did this now so you can enjoy your kids all that much more! Good luck!

 

[HipMom143]

@Going4fun the nurse at OS office said to wait until my pre-op call with OT and PT as they will tell me what I need to buy vs what will be provided. That’s on the 11th though which is only 1 week before surgery. I’m such a planner that I wouldn’t normally wait that long to organize things but I have no choice I guess!
@FCBayern do you think a 4” foam cushion on top of the recliner would work instead of raising the whole thing?
@GrannyC thank you for your thoughtful response it brought tears to my eyes. Our parenting style completely aligns with your advice, I’ve told my 3.5 year old that I’m having surgery and staying at the hospital. I don’t think the 11 month old comprehends much besides mommy’s owie leg. But I agree that it’s important to prepare them as much as possible. My son loves to help, that was one of the tactics we used to help him adjust to having a baby sister.

 

[HipMom143]

I had my chest X-ray, bloodwork and ecg done on Monday and everything is good for surgery. Had my pre-op appointment with the nurse today (over the phone cuz of Covid). She went over health history, pre-op prep and some info about hospital stay. She said I will be there at least 1 day maybe 2, depending on how soon I can mobilize and get the sign off from physio. I won’t be allowed visitors in the hospital which is unfortunate and also means I’m stuck eating the hospital food, which is awful!! I probably won’t have much of an appetite anyway so it might be fine. They don’t recommend bringing valuables but have made exceptions for cell phones because of the no visitor policy so at least I’ll be able to FaceTime with the kids when I’m away from them.
Got my hospital bed rental organized. Next on my list is the ice machine. Anyone have any recommendations?