United KingdomI am both pre-op and post-op because I am about to have my second knee replacement (on 6th September), having had the first done on the 21st of April. But I am posting this here hoping it might help people going through some of the same stuff emotionally that I did.
I was a complete wreck before the first operation. This time I've hit some of the same fears, and some of the same emotional roller-coaster, but much less intensely. I've been thinking back on what some of those fears were and whether they ended up being confirmed or not the first time around. Mostly not at all.
One of my biggest fears was of waking up during the operation. Especially as I'd read accounts, on here and elsewhere, of people waking up briefly in the operation theatre (though not experiencing any pain) and remembering it afterwards. This was an absolutely horrific prospect to me.
I talked about it with the anaesthetist during my pre-op. and together we decided on the option I went ahead with: spinal plus GA. This worked fine and I was out like a light for the duration. (And I woke up afterwards, as you can see-- not waking up at all was another fear).
Another fear was, of course, of post-op. pain. In the end I was surprised how little there was. (On the down side, I was utterly whacked out, much more so than expected,and for much longer. In retrospect this seems to be because I lost a lot of blood during the op., as well as the more general effects of the surgery and anaesthetic).
The only pain in that knee I've had since the operation has been a sort of dull achiing feeling. Plus the bruising, which was sore and tender for a while (for a couple of weeks or so). I don't think I've had pain that was worse than before the operation, at all. I remember the surgeon asking me, about 3 days post-op, if there was less pain than before the op, and I said, not yet. But there certainly wasn't more.
Then there was a general sort of fear because my surgeon was an arrogant %*&£, if you'll excuse my French, and it's not easy to put yourself at the mercy of someone like that. I had some fairly irrational fears about what he could do to me while I was under the knife. What if he was in fact a serial killer in disguise. Turns out he wasn't, he was a very good knee surgeon and, though I haven't changed my opinion of him as a person, he seems to have done an excellent job on my knee.
Also the general loss of control in hospital was a fear and this was hard but it was made much better by the fact that all the staff explained everything so well and checked everything out with me. Consent seems to be a big thing, they have to ask you if it's OK to do the smallest thing. So for me, that helped give me the sense that I was a participant in my own care.
I also had other fears like of not being able to sleep in the time following the op, because I am someone who really needs and values my sleep. That hasn't been the case either, though I know it is for some people. Mostly I have slept through the night, and then some.
I remember before the first operation, feeling as if I was about to jump off a cliff and not being sure if my parachute would open. Now, before the second one, I still feel I have to jump off a cliff, but I have learned that the parachute is sturdily made and reliable. You can never be sure when you do crazy things like parachuting, or having a TKR, but chances are, everything will be fine.
River
I was a complete wreck before the first operation. This time I've hit some of the same fears, and some of the same emotional roller-coaster, but much less intensely. I've been thinking back on what some of those fears were and whether they ended up being confirmed or not the first time around. Mostly not at all.
One of my biggest fears was of waking up during the operation. Especially as I'd read accounts, on here and elsewhere, of people waking up briefly in the operation theatre (though not experiencing any pain) and remembering it afterwards. This was an absolutely horrific prospect to me.
I talked about it with the anaesthetist during my pre-op. and together we decided on the option I went ahead with: spinal plus GA. This worked fine and I was out like a light for the duration. (And I woke up afterwards, as you can see-- not waking up at all was another fear).
Another fear was, of course, of post-op. pain. In the end I was surprised how little there was. (On the down side, I was utterly whacked out, much more so than expected,and for much longer. In retrospect this seems to be because I lost a lot of blood during the op., as well as the more general effects of the surgery and anaesthetic).
The only pain in that knee I've had since the operation has been a sort of dull achiing feeling. Plus the bruising, which was sore and tender for a while (for a couple of weeks or so). I don't think I've had pain that was worse than before the operation, at all. I remember the surgeon asking me, about 3 days post-op, if there was less pain than before the op, and I said, not yet. But there certainly wasn't more.
Then there was a general sort of fear because my surgeon was an arrogant %*&£, if you'll excuse my French, and it's not easy to put yourself at the mercy of someone like that. I had some fairly irrational fears about what he could do to me while I was under the knife. What if he was in fact a serial killer in disguise. Turns out he wasn't, he was a very good knee surgeon and, though I haven't changed my opinion of him as a person, he seems to have done an excellent job on my knee.
Also the general loss of control in hospital was a fear and this was hard but it was made much better by the fact that all the staff explained everything so well and checked everything out with me. Consent seems to be a big thing, they have to ask you if it's OK to do the smallest thing. So for me, that helped give me the sense that I was a participant in my own care.
I also had other fears like of not being able to sleep in the time following the op, because I am someone who really needs and values my sleep. That hasn't been the case either, though I know it is for some people. Mostly I have slept through the night, and then some.
I remember before the first operation, feeling as if I was about to jump off a cliff and not being sure if my parachute would open. Now, before the second one, I still feel I have to jump off a cliff, but I have learned that the parachute is sturdily made and reliable. You can never be sure when you do crazy things like parachuting, or having a TKR, but chances are, everything will be fine.
River
