I have just gotten home from therapy and I have to share with all of my friends a most wonderful feeling. The 'gang' knows by now that this recovery has been a HUGE emotional and painfull experience for me. I have been so desperate and depressed at times that if it were not for the compassion of people on this board, I truly don't think I could have gotten through to this point. I have sat at this keyboard with tears running more times than I would like to admit, but today I feel great! For the first time since my surgery 9 weeks ago, I am really good. There was no miracle accomplished, in terms of ROM, but today I realized that I am better off than I was before the op. I can do the things that I need to do in my normal day without hurting. I did all my exercises at therapy and my only complaint was a lack of stamina. I can't do what many of the other people there can in terms of weight or bend, but I DIDN'T HURT! I can do so much more than I could a few weeks ago and for that I am thankful. I can't bend the knee as much as I would like, but I can 'get by' with that. I am able to do what 'I' think I need to do, and I have stopped beating myself to death because I can't do what 'they' want me to do. I have a new knee that works pretty well and it doesn't hurt. I did not become a 20 year old again. I won't play college ball, but I can go on with my life and enjoy it. I still have to see my OS next Wednesday and I don't know what he will say, I need him to release me so I can go back to work. I have refused to let the therapists 'help' me bend my knee the last two visits because, for me, I can't mentally justify going through that anymore. Some folks, my therapists for sure, may think that I have given up, but I feel like 'a man' again for the first time in months. This is my knee and if I'm good with it, that's all that counts. I'm sorry about the long post and the rambling, but it was on my heart to share. I am not advising anyone to do what I have done, I just felt a need to say thanks to all you guys for your caring and support that you have given me through what has been some of the toughest times of my life. I know I have a way to go and there may be some bad days ahead, but Thank God, today is good.