Ouch's Odyssey: knee edition

[OUCH!]

Hi all,

I am 5 weeks out from total hip replacement and yesterday at my final follow up appointment was able to schedule my RTKR for December 9. Woooo Hooo!

I have been fighting pain and disability in both these joints since 1991 when I was in a car accident that should have killed me. I'm so happy to finally be almost past the pain.

I am nervous about having surgery so soon before Christmas since I still have 3 sons at home. My oldest is on the autism spectrum and I think my youngest still believes in Santa. BUT because of the hip surgery I have hit my out of pocket maximum for this year, so my knee surgery will essentially be free. Between that and the pain, it just doesn't make sense to wait.

so happy to be here with you all!

 

[Celle]

Do you have a husband who can help you?

With a bit of discussion between you all (do include your sons) I think having a TKR on that date will be perfectly possible. Give each of the boys a list of jobs that they will be responsible for - call it Helping Mom, and tell them that you are proud of them.

Plan ahead as much as you can, and do your Christmas shopping online. Start off by telling your family that this Christmas will be different.

I had a knee revision from a partial to a total replacement on December 9th one year.
I asked for (and received) help from everyone.
I did all of my shopping on line and chose a Christmas meal that my husband and sons could cook. I got up to make my special gravy, sat at the table to eat the meal my menfolk had produced, and then went back to bed while they cleared away and washed the dishes. It was one of my best celebrations.

This article may help you:
Nurturing mother: how to let go and accept help

 

[KarriB]

Financially go for it! I had TKR infection surgery Thanksgiving Eve and spent 11 days after in the hospital and rehab unit. I did all my shopping on line, even shopped in rehab using my iPad. I was able to host Christmas Eve dinner for 12 by making the traditional dishes (lasagna and fettuccini for us even though we are Scottish) on separate days and sitting down to rest between steps, browning meat done, so I sat and elevated etc. I was even wearing an imbolizer but was able to wrap presents. But I didn't wait on anyone, we used Chinette plates, everyone else cleaned up while I elevated and ran my IV antibiotics.
As Celle said have the boys and hubby help, they should know it will be different this year, but still good. Get a rotisserie turkey or honey baked ham for dinner depending on your tradition and if your mom or mil can help that would be good too. So many grocery stores have on line shopping, all your husband would need to do is pick it up and bring it home.

 

[macduf387]

Hi @OUCH! welcome I am having my right tkr a few days before you. We can be December supernovas together I had my left tkr November last year so coming up to my 1 year anniversary on that one. I agree with the others ask for help. Take care will be following you as we start this journey.

 

[OUCH!]

Thank you all for the warm welcome! I'm very excited to be here! Its been a long time coming. In spring 2015 I first went to a surgeon about my knee at that appointment he walked in the room after looking at X-rays and said "are you hear about your hip or your knee? You hip is really horrendous". He gave me my options explained the recovery involved etc and we agree to try a cortisone shot in the knee to buy me some time to make decisions. My mother had just died that spring after a lengthy illness so I decided to wait as long as possible to consider surgery in order to give my kids some stability. Finally, this June, my hip began buckling under me and simply wouldn't hold me up. I decided it was time. Between researching surgeons, my schedule and his schedule, I was finally able to get my hip done Sept 16. 5 and a half weeks ago.
I was so happy to find out at my follow up on Monday that surgeon has a cancellation Dec. 9. Woo hooo! Otherwise I was waiting until end of feb and then looking at having the recovery drag into prime gardening time. I'm so happy to get it down early!

When we explained the economics the kids took it in stride. My youngest who may still believe in santa wasn't thrilled but as long as we make grandma's christmas cookies he'll come around.

@Celle, thanks for the advice. I do have a husband who has committed to helping. He usually goes into an annual depression around the holidays, but has told me "I won't this year". We'll seee......He has been pretty awesome during my hip recovery, so I expect he will step up. And hey, it will force us to identify what is really important and let the other stuff go. My mom set the bar very high as far as Christmas, but she died over a year ago, so now it is time to forge our own traditions.

We invited inlaws here for some portion of the holidays, but honestly it will probably be just as easy if they don't come. MIL offered to have a christmas eve brunch at their house, but its 60-90 minutes away. Am I right in assuming that I won't want to travel that far when I am just 2 weeks out?

Honestly this could be the best christmas. I plan to have all that I can do done by December 8 and I can crack the whip with my husband (as far as lights, gift shopping for his family etc) without feeling guilty. My brother may come down. He says he doesn't care if we eat pizza as long as were are together.

@Celle good for you for making your special gravy. I figured I would either buy or maybe I will make ahead and freeze.

@KarriB yikes! Infection surgery right before thanksgiving and picc line etc throughout the season. Thanks for the perspective. Sounds like you all managed well.

We took thanksgiving to my mom in her nursing home in her last year. She lives 4 hours away so we catered it from a local grocery and I cooked the turkey in my hotel room. Luckily mom had bought me an electric roaster oven the year before because i have a small kitchen. We made the entire hotel smell heavenly.

@macduf387 yay! a partner in crime! I'm so glad to know someone going through it around the same time as me. Looking forward to hearing more about your recovery last year and look forward to recovering with you this year.
So you have been there, am I right in thinking that traveling at 2 weeks is not a great idea?

So grateful to all for the warm welcome. The hippies can tell you I tend to write novels. I hope i don't drive you nuts!

 

[KarriB]

If your drive us nuts, it'll be a short drive! I'm glad you're forging ahead and grabbing the bull by the horns. We're here for whatever you need. Don't think you'll want to travel an hour two weeks after surgery, but prepping as much as possible before hand is smart. My 84 yr old dad fell before before Thanksgiving last year, breaking the ball off his femur and adding a THR to his two TKRs. He didn't want to travel the 10 minutes to my sister's for dinner, so my siblings and I left the kids after dinner to take my parents their dinner.

I look forward to reading about your recovery!

 

[macduf387]

I have to agree with @KarriB know you definately wont want to travel after two weeks it will be bad enough getting to OS office to get your staples out. You need to let others take care of you its hard but your job will be to heal up.

 

[Celle]

We invited inlaws here for some portion of the holidays, but honestly it will probably be just as easy if they don't come. MIL offered to have a christmas eve brunch at their house, but its 60-90 minutes away. Am I right in assuming that I won't want to travel that far when I am just 2 weeks out?

You're quite right. Travelling for that length of time will be very uncomfortable.
If your in-laws really want to help, perhaps they would be willing to come over for half a day, bringing some pre-prepared food with them? It does take longer to recover from a knee replacement than from a hip replacement (make sure your family knows that in advance) and by Christmas you will still need to be spending most of your time resting and elevating, either in bed, on a sofa, or in a recliner.

This should be a quiet Christmas. You can make a much larger affair of it next year, when you will be well enough to enjoy it.

 

[newlybionic]

I agree with the others that you won't want to drive anywhere after only two weeks. With my revision Easter was two weeks later and my children and their spouses arranged to fill my refrigerator and cooked a dinner so we could be together. It was either that or I told them we would order Chinese for dinner.

 

[OUCH!]

Thanks everyone. Your opinions are really helpful. I was hoping in laws would come here, pitch in and help put on a nice meal for my kids. Mother in law decided to offer a brunch at her house because she is more in the middle and "hosting will be too much for you". It was a little crazy making. She is a nurse. I know she was trying to help, but as a nurse I would think she would know I wouldn't want to travel. Oh well.

 

[KarriB]

After having the morning with your kids you could always send them to mil's house for dinner. You may be ready for quiet time by then and they could bring some dinner for you. It'll all depend on how you feel 2 weeks out.

 

[OUCH!]

Hmmmm interesting idea. Inlaws will actually all be at sister in laws house 2 hours away. since we told them I couldn't travel, brunch at mother in laws was canceled. So if they go I will then be alone for probably ten hours and possibly they would stay overnight. I don't think Im up for that yet.

 

[Celle]

I think you would be OK alone for that length of time, but it would be a very lonely way to spend Christmas.
After my first knee replacement, my husband had to go away on business for three weeks, about 2 weeks after my surgery. With lots of forward planning, I managed OK, but I would have preferred to have him with me, for company.

Honestly, if it were my choice in your situation, I would plan for you and your family to have a quiet Christmas at home, without trying to fit in with the plans and wishes of relatives. Get your husband and children involved in planning how to have "our little Christmas at home".

This year, the most important thing is to do what will make you the most comfortable and stress-free. You won't feel ready to either travel or socialise very much.

There will be other Christmases to spend with the extended family.

 

[OUCH!]

Thank you everyone, @Celle its funny, what you describe is what I want. A little quite christmas with my men nurturing mom.

Unfortunately, my feelings were hurt about the family not being willing to change their plans to help and support us so I raise a bit of a stink. Now I have to find a way to diplomatically retract it all and uninvited them.

I will talk to boys and hubby and then we will offer a united front. Maybe say with more discussion and with more research, we realized mother in law was right and we won't be up to having others here.

Basically, the fantasy was they would come and bring their christmas cheer to help my boys celebrate (hopefully bringing food etc, but if not we could cater). I could take part or go rest as I was able. It morphed into another day. I have decided you are all right its too much. If there wern't so much emotional drama, it could be great.
With the emotional drama, it will be too much. Plus, I'll be stoned on oxycodone the entire time, who knows what true, but rude thing might slip out of my mouth.

 

[Celle]

Thank you everyone, @Celle its funny, what you describe is what I want. A little quite Christmas with my men nurturing mom.

Then that's what you should have, because this Christmas is all about what is best for you. Any other way and you'll be miserable, and if you're miserable your menfolk won't be happy either.

You won't be up to entertaining. If you like, you could tell the extended family that you have had medical advice that you will need a quiet Christmas and shouldn't contemplate either travelling or entertaining others in your home.
Possibly a quiet word from your husband to his parents would help.
It's a good idea to talk about this with your menfolk and present a united front.

 

[OUCH!]

I'm starting to worrry that I am rushing this. I am still so tired and sore from hip replacement Am I crazy to go under the knife again so soon?

But with it being free, its crazy not to, right?

 

[Celle]

Go ahead and get the second knee done. Your two recoveries will merge together and you won't have to go through all this another year.

 

[Jamie]

@OUCH! While they are fun and cute, I have removed the counter images you've placed in your signature. We use the signature feature here to document pertinent information regarding your hip or knee surgery dates for reference and try to keep the information as compact as possible. You see, large signature blocks create difficulty for our members who access the forum via their smartphones - and that's quite a large number! If you like, you could place them within a post now and then....just not in the signature that will appear every time you post in your thread or in others' threads. I hope you understand the need for this action.

 

[OUCH!]

Completely understand @Jamie. My apologies for any problems i might have caused. I've been on a lot of forums in the past where they were popular, but that may be before smart phones were so prevalent. I didnt think of the difficult they would cause there.

Counting down the days until knee surgery is keeping me focused on working toward getting stronger every day which is what led me to using the tickers. Thanks for all the hard work you do here. Sorry to create more for you!

 

[Jamie]

I appreciate your understanding. They are cute and fun and there hopefully you'll pop them into a post now and then just so we can all smile at your progress. Please don't worry about your next surgery. Your surgeon is willing and you'll get this all behind you quickly this way. You can do it!!! You'll be so glad you went for it!