Nurturing mother: how to let go and accept help

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Feb 28, 2009
Hi Carol,
I always worry about Mums who feel guilty about looking after themselves. Please allow yourself to be nurtured, for weeks or months to come. If we don't allow ourselves to be nurtured then how can we nurture those who depend on us. We need to nurture the nurturer...there are several reasons for this.

1. if we burn out who's going to take up the slack
2. if we burn out our children will suffer ...their self esteem will plummet, their ability to cope will be compromised
3. by asking them to help/support etc., they are learning about compassion, about giving (rather than receiving) ....think of the life lessons that we are giving our children by allowing them to help us
4. it's important to give kids an opportunity to do good....if we are on deck too soon then they are denied this valuable lesson.
5. we can get back on board, but what if it's too soon and you end up with a pain relapse or whatever...
6. it's good for husbands to understand what "running" a household is really like (going to work, doing 3 loads of washing, getting dinner, homework, vacuuming, cleaning, paper work, bills, shopping, incidental other stuff, ferrying kids etc. Sometimes their perception is somewhat skewed....and if everything is always tidy it's because I sit and drink coffee with the girls all day!
7. My vows said "in sickness and in health".....well this is a time that we ask our spouse to call on his dignity and honour and be there at that time. For my husband, difficult though it is, it's actually his privilege ...
8. Hey enjoy the break, when does a mum ever get a break!
9 Have a bath (heeding all the medical advice), light some candles, play some soft music and take the time to contemplate your life and how wonderfully blessed you are to have a loving family...and allow them to be all of that for you at this time, and allow them to nurture you ....don't deny them this wonderful privilege

Its easy to say all this when you are jumping at the bit to get on with it, but its not worth having a pain relapse, and once you start being on deck, the perception, be it right or wrong, is that your ARE well and truly on deck..and that's a hard one to change.

I wish you well for your continuing journey, and if I start being too hasty after my surgery just repost this will you with my name at the beginning!

with love
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