Not Sure I Should Have Done It Phase

[RONNY]

Re: The Operating List - just dates please, no chat, no questions

LTKR on 6 July 2009. Back to work 8 September 2009. I'm in the "feeling sorry for myself/wish I hadn't done it" phase.

 

[Jamie]

Hi, Ronnie....welcome to BoneSmart. I copied your post into its own thread so that we could talk with you about what's going on with your knee replacement. Please write more details about why you are feeling that it was a bad decision. There are plenty of folks here who are willing to help you.

It is pretty common to have that feeling if you are still having pain or some problems related to the surgery. You are not alone!

 

[loggon]

Ronny not sure what type of work you are doing but you may have went back to work too soon.

I think we all wondered why we did it. But you will get over that.

You are not that for out.

 

[tom67]

Hi Ronnie, I am currently one month out, A LPKR and I'm happy I did It.
I realized the pain I had before My surgery, Is well worth the manageable pain
I have now! I don't know what kind of work you do, but yes maybe it was
too early to go back! That alone can be discouraging! I belive very soon
you will be very happy you did this, and things will turn around completely!
Best of Luck My Friend! and Have a great weekend, Tom

 

[Texas]

Hey Ronnie i hope you come back and talk love to here from you....I have had a few mishaps along the way but all and all that pain is gone im glad i did it i have to admit at your stage i might have been the same way but with time you will over come it and feel better about it...........post anytime,,,.............we all all here for ya............

 

[Sticker Lady]

Hi Ronny and welcome!

I hit the "why did I do this...poor me" phase at about 3 months. It's so very common.

It's discouraging to all of us that the rehab takes so long, but it really is worth it. I found that shortly after four months, I lost a lot of the swelling that I'd been having. That helped a lot. I was able to sleep better and had more energy to do everyday things that I hadn't done for a long time.

I'm sure you will find improvement soon and that will change your attitude..Please be kind to yourself as you go through this healing process!

Blessings,
Irene

 

[cindy88fan]

Hi Ronny! Welcome to BoneSmart! There were times I wish I hadn't had both knees done at the same time but now...I am so glad I did it. You will feel better about it soon. Please post and let us know what's going on like why you wish you hadn't done it and how your recovery is going. Take care! We are here for you!

 

[marennorge]

If you hadn't done it, the pain would have only gotten worse. You did do it, and the pain will subside over time and you will regain your life. It will get better. There are dozens of us on this forum that can bear witness to that.

 

[Josephine]

Well, two months was maybe a tad too soon but that's a month gone now so too late to angst over it. We all got that "what the heck did I do this for!" phase. It'll pass, I promise.

 

[RONNY]

I went into the surgery with my eyes open. I had a couple of friends who had the operation and advised me--I knew it was going to be hard. I was told that blood clots and infection were possible, even though the physician's assistant didn't say I was more of a possibility because I am a diabetic. It wouldn't have changed my mind one bit. Surgery, pain, rehab, more pain; I knew this was going to happen.

I had the surgery on 6 July. I was up and out of the hospital by 9 July. I was walking up and down stairs, the way we are taught to do. I was walking with a walker and I had the support of two of the greatest people in the world; my wife and 31 year old daughter. On 15 July my entire body seized up with cramps and with the threat of blood clots, my OS told them to get me to the emergency room. The ambulance took me and it was determined by the doctors that I had Cellulitis, an infection. I had my surgery in New York, but I live in New Jersey. My OS was getting reports from the Jersey hospital. I stayed for five miserable days, getting intravenous antibiotics. I went home with two PICC lines in my arm, intravenous supplies and my wife and daughter flushing and setting me up. I ended up back in the ER after things didn't work out the first night. After an overnight stay, things began to work out at home.

I don't even count July in my recovery. Out-patient PT didn't start until 6 August, three times a week. My therapist was great, and she feels we made progress. I went back to work on 8 September. Being at work is fine; I'm at a computer. Getting to work takes a heck of lot out of me. I can't get to the gym like I would like to - nobody's fault but my own. My resolve is shaken from the hospital stay. It was humiliating.

My background has a lot of depression in it. I'm a former Marine, Vietnam vet, 30% disabled by their standards and I know I don't have the fight that I had when I was younger. I had my left knee scoped twice (1994 & 2003 and a torn miniscus scope on the right knee (2006). I had a lumbar laminectomy in 2002. I battled back each time because I am a league and tournament bowler. I love it and got back to it quickly. But as ready as I thought I was for this challenge, I'm not measuring up so I'm sorry I did it. I will never get the other one done. I'll give up bowling first.

I appreciate all the words, but maybe sometime I will get my head together and embrace the fight. There are plenty of people on this and other forums who have had a much harder time than I have, but I can only deal with me.

Ronny

LTKR - 6 JULY 2009

 

[Judles]

Ronny.....well it's GOT to get BETTER from here on in!!! Good Luck!!! (0)

 

[Jamie]

Ronny, I admire your honesty and I can understand why you are feeling this has all been a bit much, given your additional problems of diabetes and the cellulitis. But that is behind you now and I do believe that one day you will be glad you had this surgery....especially when you are able to bowl again.

Are you still on prescription pain meds at this point? If so, they can cause some depression. That may be part of your feelings. But, no matter what...frankly it is overwhelming to have this type of assault on your body. A knee replacement is MAJOR surgery - as big as any you could go through!! Recovery is difficult and no matter how many people you talk to or watch go through their surgery, it's sooooo different when it is YOU.

Don't beat yourself up about any of your feelings. They are normal and it will get better. Just try to take each day on its own merit. Rejoice in the small steps forward and know that any step backwards (they come along too, you know) is only temporary.

Post here when you're feeling low...we'll be here for you.

 

[Pat29627]

Things will get so much better in the next month and then much better again the next month. At three months, I would have sworn I'd never again in my lifetime have another knee surgery. I would have said I can't deal with it mentally or physically. The stress of surgery and drugs turned me into a weak and wimpy being. I guess around five months is when I was back to being totally strong and feeling I could take on anything if I had to, although my knee still gives me some trouble. You'll see, just remember how you were a few weeks ago and you'll see the progress.

Pat

 

[Linda2]

You have been through a lot, and even though it doesn't feel like it now, these are still early days for you. It is not at all abnormal to feel like you do. I am just beginning to come out of my TKR fog, and I didn't have the setbacks you had. Try to keep the faith.