My Bilaterial Knee Recovery Story

[Truivia]

Hi Everyone ,

I decided to make a general type thread, a place I can come to and post anything to do with my new knees.
I have a few other threads that I will ask Josephine to close, remove, or move to this thread what ever she sees as best to do - she is the boss

When I joined here I thought I would just be asking 1 question and then would be moving on so to speak. Then I ran into a couple of other issues and opened a new thread about that, again thinking I would be getting an answer and moving on.

Now I see how super wonderful and ever so helpful and supportive the members at this site are, plus I have come to realize that each step I take can bring with it new questions and/or issues. So I think I will be sticking around here for a bit, and hopefully be able to show support to others as well.

Since this is a new thread and the one I plan to keep for at least the next several months of my recovery, I will share my story in brief so that every thing is all in one spot.

I had a bilaterial total knee replacement done on 3/15/11. I woke up in recovery in massive pain in my right knee area. Not the knee but on the outside of the knee area. I later found out that the surgeon said he had to really stretch the ligament there and it gave him all kinds of problems. Had it not been for that issue the pain was not bad at all.

I got up 4 hrs later and walked across the room. I was discharged to go home on my 3rd day. I came home with a ROM of 91. My in hospital PT was wonderful.

I am in a hospital bed in our living room,as we have a water bed and you get in a water bed on your knees - not going to happen right now lol

I have been through two different PT places and have finally with the help,knowledge & support of the members here decided to do my PT the UK way ( lol ). I am doing it myself at home.

When I came home I went right to PT and OMG!!! They were really rough with me and mean too! I have a spine injury, all my L & S disks are hurnated and due to that I have a lot of nerve damage ( I had my injury about 6 yrs ago that did all this damage ). I also need both my hips replaced ( I plan to do that this coming winter ). So the first PT place said to me "we are here to do PT on your knees, we will not be treating your back or hips". They went on to tell me that my back and hips were not of their concern and I would get PT the same way any other person would. I was in a GREAT deal of pain due to the way they were doing my PT and they said "your pain is not a concern of ours, deal with it yourself"

I went to the 2ed PT place and was again forced to do things that my body was not able to do. Due to my hips I can not ride a bike and they put me on a bike for 30 minutes the first day. I lasted 30 seconds.

Durning all this nightmare I went back down to a ROM of 70.

I found this site while googleing the term "do PT at home". It was already in my mind that I was not going to go back to any PT places.
I come here and was shocked to read that many people do their own PT at home. I also learned that the PT that was being forced on me was why I was losing ROM.

Then my hubby became a but head and stopped helping me around the house and just in general was making me feel guilty. We both thought my Dr said 2 to 3 weeks and I could return to my normal way of life - slowly.
At 3 weeks I was still having a really hard time with most things and it really upset my hubby. But he was upset with ME

See we own a small commercial cleaning biz and I have always been the work horse in it plus did 99% of anything that needed done around the home.
Even with my back injury I kept working ( which is in part of why it got so much more damaged ). I worked right up until Thanksgiving day of 2010 when my knees quit working and I fell down and ended up in a wheel chair. But even then I still did everything around the home and in a tight pinch I went to a few jobs to help out from time to time ( yeah I know ).
So he is use to me doing mostly everything and when I could not he became really mad..

So this past Friday ( april 8th ) I called my Dr office and making a long story short they told me that it was 2 to 3 MONTHS ( not weeks ) before they wanted me to even start to do anything I had been doing before. My surgeon had a fit about everything I had been doing.

They also said I needed to go on Celebrax ASAP as they knew I had to have a lot of inflamation from the activities I had been doing ( I cleaned the kitchen, cleaned the micro, cleaned out the frig, cleaned up the bathroom, dusted and just general house work ). They said for hubby ( from here on I will call him DH ) to come right over and pick this med up before they closed. I had shared with the PA that DH thought I needed to push myself more.

When he came home, he had a totally different attitude. I am guessing the PA or Dr had a serious but chewing on him. He said he understood that if I kept going as I had been that I was setting myself up for losing more ROM due to swelling plus a lot of other issues that could happen from pushing so hard and way too soon.

The past few days he did everything for me.

Then today it started all over again

We had a huge fight over it and basically he is just done with helping me. This does not come as a huge surprise to me as of his past behavior. However I did think after having a major operation and recovery as this he would be different.
I also think he is being like this as in the midst of all this we were told that I should never go back to my job. He had been saying all along ( and I thought he was teasing ) that the more he helped me the sooner he could get me back to work again.

I have course WANT to go back to work and am still hoping my surgeon is wrong ( hey a girl can dream - right? ).

Any ways, after I seen how the rest of my recovery was going to go I decided to open a new thread that I could come to and post no matter what subject it was about. ( my other threads were all specific subject related )

I now know I am going to need the on going support of the members here in order to get through this. I am not going to be able to count on him

I do have a little side job as a web site owner/editor/seo, so as soon as I can focus a bit more I plan to work harder on that and maybe make that my new ( paying ) job.

Right now I am a mixture of sad, hurt, very angry, scared and very very unsure of how "well" I am going to come through all of this.

This first post pretty much sums up what has happened and where things stand at right now.

PS: I do want to say how very thankful I am to the members who have supported me and/or taught me so much in my other threads - I am very grateful to each of you :ThankYou:

 

[referee54]

I have had those "come to Jesus" meetings with many students---I have had two this year.

You are feeling things that are actually quite normal. I am sorry to hear about your husband's attitude---I hope that he does an 180 and does it quickly. I compare this recovery to that of riding a roller coaster---you will have great days, good days, some "meh" days, and some clunkers, also. Your patience will be tested and you will run the gamut of emotions, too.

You need to count on us to be there, and please be patient, too. They talk about the "patience of Job"---well, he never had a TKR or a BTKR! If you need questions answered, we will be here. If you need to vent, we will be here.

This forum helped me through some challenging times with my BTKR, and it has helped many a soul with their issues with TKR's and THR's, too.

These things take time--longer than we would like, but the results are tremendous. Please plan on counting on the folks here to help you through your issues and questions.

 

[Dewy]

Is hubby stressed or feeling feeling under pressure? It sounds like he started off with good intentions after the talk with the surgeon, but it didn't last.

Is there any possibility of getting in someone else to help - for example a cleaner to do all the housework?

I'm definitely not excusing his behaviour - just trying to see if there is anything that can be done to might improve the situation, even a little. Apologies if I'm being too simplistic.

 

[Truivia]

Tim - yep this is going to teach me patience even if I don't want to learn them lol

Murry - lol some days I think of bad names for him too

Dewy - We had 24/7 help for the first 2 weeks. He did not have to cook, clean or do anything, which is why it went a well as it did.

So today my husband slept over 11 hrs and finally got up with 45 minutes to spare before he had to leave for work.

BUT there is good in all this mess too. I gave myself my own shot the past 2 days!!! For me this is HUGE. I won't even watch someone give me a shot lol
I was determined I was not asking DH for anything other then what I am not able to do or that is unsafe for me to do. I went in the bathroom and said a prayer ( seriously I was that scared lol ) and read the directions and pinched a inch on my belly and did it quick before I could scare myself out of it. I did it again tonight with no problems.

I also got my tape down - I wanted to put 2 pieces of tape on the floor. 1 for my right leg and 1 for my left.What I did was placed each leg just a tad further back then I was comfortable with and put the 2 pieces of tape down. Now I can gage how far back I can bend my knees when sitting down. Hope that makes sense. I sat there for about 10 minutes and went through my mail and did some paper work. I never was in pain, just not cozy. I can't measure my own ROM but this should give me a idea of my bending progress.

I also did my Recumbent bike today for about 3 minutes. I don't go the whole ways around ( I am unable to ) but I move the peddles back and forth.

I did some other PT exercises/stretches today as well. Tomorrow is week 4 of my surgery and today was the first time I did any PT that I felt my body was ready to do it. I took it very easy and only did a few reps of each.

Behind my right knee is cracked open and clear fluid and some blood is coming out. I am over weight ( a LOT over weight = 222 lbs ) so I assume this is dry skin as that is the leg that has not been able to go flat/straight for about 3 yrs now. Since surgery it is even more bent then before. I am a diabetic, so I need to watch this.

Note* my husband has always been a difficult with me in medical situations. Yrs ago I needed to go to the ER and they said I needed surgery immediately. He left me there alone and went home and went to bed!! He picked me up 3 days later. I could tell story after story like that but I will spare you all. Oh I am sure when I am upset at him and need to vent I may share a few more ;)

Bottom line with him is, I am the work horse and always have been. Plus I am what I call a "after thought" to him. Like I gave myself the shots for the past 2 days, he has said nothing. He does not know I am doing it, he does not know he has not been asked for 2 days - my needs/care just does not enter his mind until I specifically tell him to do something for me.
The man has no shame He will sit and watch me work while he watches TV or what ever and it does not bother him a bit.

I won't divorce him for many reasons - ( it's complected ) so I am trying to learn to expect nothing from him, so I am not so upset all the time.

The "good" in all of this ugly mess is I am determinded to learn some new skills to earn a living so he can't guilt me into going back to work - which I KNOW he will try to do....

I can not tell you all how wonderful it is to have a place to come to and vent and just be open about what is going on. I greatly appreciate each of you :ThankYou:

 

[Truivia]

PS: I needed 5 units of blood and still need 2 more but Dr said if I bring my levels up on my own we can skip them. Me and iron supplements don't get along. Not the usual "plugging up" issues - they make me throw up. Are there any gental iron supplements out there? Also how long on them does it take to raise the levels?

 

[Truivia]

Do you all do 1 day of PT and then not do PT for 1 day and then do PT and go back and forth like this?

Or do you all do your PT every day?

PS: I am doing PT at home on my own.

 

[cotton1958]

I did my post-op excercises at home daily 1-3 times per day. As the days moved along and I could do more, of course I moved around the house more too.

I did my out patient PT 2-3 times a week for about 2 months.

I then did home excercises and recumbent bike and walked the mall for winter excercise.

I had 2 units of blood after surgery. I did not need supplements afterwards, so can't help you on that issue. I have heard Slow FE is good, but if you are behind that many units, I am not sure if Slow FE is enough. Sounds like a Doctor question.

 

[Truivia]

oh boy then I really am behind. I was thinking like they do PT out of the home - 3 days a week

 

[Jamie]

You are NOT behind, Truivia. You cannot judge your body or your recovery by anyone else's. If the exercises are gentle, you could do them every day. If you are tired, swollen or hurt, skip a day and just do some gentle stretches in between your short walks around the house. There is really no "set" program here!!!

 

[referee54]

Yes, please do not judge yourself or compare yourself to anybody else. I had PT twice a week and did stuff at a gym on three to four other days. That was me; what I did worked for me, and I took quite some time to recover. Others do quite well with little or no PT.

Do no worry about what appears to be your lack of progress. Please remember what we keep preaching here; this recovery is like a super-ultra marathon and it takes time. You do your own exercises within your comfort zone, ride the roller coaster---some days you will gain some ROM, other days you may not progress much---but in the end, you will be fine.

The fact that I had PT twice a week and others did PT too doesn't mean that it is necessary for your progress.

Please listen to what Jamie said--and listen to your body. I always took time off to let my knees rest. IT was a long and frustrating process, but it turned out great. I am sure that yours will too.

Honestly---people told me that it would take upwards toward a year to feel "normal" again' they were right.

Hang in there, strap yourself in to the roller coaster, and go for the ride. when the ride stops, you will have a new life and be pain-free; it will be a life that you really will be able to enjoy. Do not worry about being behind; everybody has thir won roller coaster ride in this recovery.

 

[kazzaap]

Hi

I am so sorry you having all this trouble my heart really goes out to you. I am glad that you have found this websit to vent it is fantastic and help me so much any problems or questions i had i asked and i was always given fantastic advice.
I also had a BTKR on the 22 November 2010 so i guess that makes me 4.5 months post op and believe you me things do get better. I cannot believe you where out of hospital in just 3 days i live in Australia and you stay in for 9 days they really take good care of you and encourage you to stay as long as you can. The PT in hospital was fantastic i still go and visit PT but only every 6 weeks. I still get muscle soreness etc but have learnt to except that i will get that possible up to 12 months. My ROM is 120 on both knees and has been for quite some time and my extension is 0 on my left and 5 on my right but i have been told that you always have one leg better than the other.

Anyway take care and just know the group is alway here for you (I won't even tell you what i would be doing to your husband you have enough on your mind but i guess you realise he is defenitely not helping.) I really wish you all the best.I pass on lots of hugs to you.

Cheers
Kazzaa

 

[Tykey]

oh boy then I really am behind.

OH NO, YOU ARE NOT!!!!!!!

We've been telling you consistently that you are doing pretty well.

I had no PT (like Jo) and we have both recovered brilliantly, so there!!:biggrin:. I certainly didn't do the housework etc to boot.

For heaven's sake, stop beating yourself up, be happy (or as happy as you can with your other issue). It will all come right without you really trying.

 

[carousel66]

Truivia,
My heart goes out to you,
I live alone and while my recovery has been pretty smooth, I did enlist help of friends, even paid and traded some friends for some assistance with things I needed done.
I had ended up having a house cleaner come starting about a year ago as I just could not keep up with things my pain took too much out of me. If money is an issue perhaps you could barter or offer to help a friend with some of their needs in the future. I have a group of single friends and we trade dog sitting etc. all the time. I had them help me with some house chores and picking up food etc at market.
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and hope you can see the way to take care of yourself. You are worth it and your health is at risk. Your husband sooner or later will do the laundry, or take it out to be done etc.... enlist help of friends or even see if you can find a house cleaner that wants a web page!!!! and trade some hours for a web page! Also if you belong to a church, they could be a great resource for you. Please ask for what you need, sometimes that is all that needs to happen, I know it is not easy for some of us to ask for help, but you need it right now.
take care,
Catherine

 

[Truivia]

Thanks everyone !!!!!!! ( for understanding & caring )

I honestly only have a few friends - with working all these yrs 12 to 15 hrs a day 7 days a week, it has left me without a social life. Something I plan to correct when I can get up and around more. I know tons and tons of people at stores, banks, shops etc all by name but actually friends... nope.
Plus the way I really live is a secret - everyone just loves DH and thinks he is super..... he does a lot of things for other people ( just not me ) so I don't welcome too many people into my life

Speaking of him, remember I said I started giving myself my own shots 4 days ago as of the way he was being. Tonight he is like "do you want your shot now". I said "this is the first time in 4 days you have said anything about my shot, who do you think has been giving it to me the past 4 days". He got all nasty and was like "I don't know". I was like "well good thing I did not count on you to give me a shot every day to help save my life" and well it just got a tad ugly frim there.... - this is what I mean when I say I am a after thought to him.

Speaking of my shot - I have not seen any posts about others getting the heprin shot. It keeps you from getting blood clots. I have 2 or 3 days left to give myself a dose and then I am done. Does everyone do this?

I am SO SO tired still not sure if it is my low blood issue or if this is normal. I am probably only awake for about 8 hours a day off and on a few hrs at a time.

I am a tad concerned as the heprin shots end soon and then if I am still in bed this much won't I be a high risk for getting a blood clot?

My surgeon only wanted me on them for 14 days after I came home, but when my PCP heard how much I am still in bed he added an additional 14 days to the first round.

I want my energy back for many reasons......

OK I get the message ( finally ! lol ) about comparing myself to others PT, progress or anything else I think if I didn't you all will beat me with a wet noodle ;)

 

[RestAssured]

Hello,

You and I have husbands that are similiar in some ways. Mine does do things for me, but then when he gets tired, he tells me that everything is about "me!":DOH:He then goes off on a tirade and does his own thing.

How is that place behind your knee doing? That is very important to keep track of not only because of diabetes but also because of infection!

If you ever feel like venting in private, just PM me! I certainly understand about the husband situation!:biggrin:

 

[Tykey]

Truivia, I don't have a wet noodle, but I'm searching eBay all the time:biggrin:

I know we can't be physical friends, but I'm sure when you are recovered, you'll have all that energy you need to improve your life. Spend some time thinking how you can do that, maybe voluntary work, societies, sports (you are still a young'un)

In the meantime, why not keep dropping into the social section for the silly fun and games we have in there:hysterical:?

We'd love to see you there.

 

[Josephine]

Too right, Tykey! It's always good to know, when family and friends go about their own lives, that your BoneSmart family will still be here!

 

[Truivia]

I did not even see the section for fun & games. I will go looking for it as soon as I am done reading/posting. Thanks for the heads up.

Sonja - I am sorry you too have hubby issues but for totally selfish reasons it is nice to know I am not alone :redface:
I have about 2 maybe 3 "favors" I can get from him with out a big issue. Those favors don't have to be big - they can include anything from handing me a tissue, to passing me the pepper at dinner time
My current goal is to accept he is not going to change and me not walk around angry or hurt all the time. I feel so very alone....
He is a GREAT pappy and a SUPER dad, he is just a stinky hubby to me :( No one knows how I live.

I think i figured part of my energy issue. My hospital bed is in the living room - the kitchen & dinning room are just a few feet away and DH slams and bangs around all the time. Today I realized I have not gotten a full nights sleep since I came home. This morning I was woke up at least 6 times in 2 hrs.

I am treating area behind my leg/knee with a antibotic cream - it is slowly improving. Not easy as that area is always rubbing due to swelling.

 

[kneeworn]

Truivia I just want to give you a big comforting hug. It must be so hard to have to go this "alone" with a husband that is not supportive. Just vent here anytime and we will be here for you.

I agree about keeping an eye on your weeping sore. Does the OS know about it. Especially since you are a diabetic. The more you have to push the knee the more it will swell. Remember to ice and elevate often. That helps the pain and swelling. If you have to be up on it doing things then ice and elevate after to help.

As others have said this is one big roller coaster emotionally and physically. At four months I still hit the bumps and scream sometimes. I try to look for the progress points and when I look back I can see them. It is just the down points can sometimes really get to you. But hang in there and you will make it.

Remember to keep in touch with the few close friends you have too. They may want to help but may not know what you need and might feel calling will wake you up or bother you.

Donna

 

[Linda2]

I feel so badly for you. I cannot imagine going through knee replacement with someone so cantankerous. I can imagine going through it living alone, like Jo did, but not with unkindness surrounding me.

My suggestion for the exercise thing is to try to do the basics (quad sets, ankle pumps, leg lifts, snow angel legs--did I forget one?--as often and as many at a time as is comfortable for you. It sounds like you are doing well with the bike. Have you seen your regular doctor about the broken skin behind your knee. That could be worrisome.