Just me ^i^

[Josephine]

Well, sorry to disappoint you all but such a list would be almost impossible to compile. Fact is, there are so many variables and each person has a different and unique journey through these surgeries. So sorry

 

[calling_all_angels]

Ohhhhhhh Jo Jo.
Nothing to be sorry for.
^i^

 

[dovcar2000]

I had that after my operation on Nov. 10 and it was finally figured out as a STICH ABCESS...the pt send me up to the surgeon and removed it....the little area where the stich was healed really well within 3-4 days.
He said it just sometimes happens and mine was at the end of the incision...
It sure felt good to have it gone...hugs Carol

 

[Jamie]

Calling

One thing I read and has proven to be true is the way you dress really gives the guys a lot of notions of how you are doing.
I learned it too late for having my first child, then because of other llittle ones it was not possible to use it for the other kids births, but these 3 major surgeries I have used it to the max.

I dress in pj's. I don't even get dressed for the trip home. I bring decent pj's for the ride home too.
After this past back surgery, I was still in so much pain and had to go and see my primary care doc on day 1 home. I actually put sweat pants on, but my daughter questioned me going to my apt in pajamas. I think it got me extra sympathy from my primary care doc.

I had an infection when I left this hospital with my first baby and was told to go home and only take care of the baby and sleep or I would be back in the hospital. I got up and took a shower and heard my husband speaking to his boss. He said, Oh I'm coming in Judy is dressed and everything!!! So , I had not even one morning of help!!!!!
I quickly change back to pj's after dr apts too!!!

Judy

Judy.....what a GREAT idea!!! Men ARE more visual and I never thought about your clothing sending a serious message constantly. You are ONE SMART lady!!!

 

[calling_all_angels]

Judy,
You are so right. I think men figure if you can dress then you can
cook, clean, and fax. It was the Super Bowl that did me in. Hubby just
could not believe that I said no. He just would not accept it. So we
had Super Bowl. And he did try to help. I just could not get up enough
energy to get everything done. But everyone came and they had a
good time. Heck it was a good game.. But now I am sure he will think
I should be painting walls and shampooing the carpets befor the I get the left knee done.
^i^

 

[Jamie]

Calling.....maybe you should wear soft jammies and carry a big stick for those times that he chirps that nonsense.

 

[JudyS]

Oh yes, I am staying in jammies as long as I can. When I do start driving, I will sneak out when the kids are in school otherwise I become the taxi again. If I clean up after them even a little, it will be expected that mom is fully healed and should be dooing everything again. so I can't even help out a little. Seeing I can not bend over it really does limit what little I could do, so I'm just hanging and resting.

Judy

 

[Jamie]

Think of the wonderful learning opportunity this is for kids and hubby who learn how to take care of themselves and YOU for a change. It's great experience for everyone and a welcome rest for you. You'll have plenty of time at a later date to do more.

 

[calling_all_angels]

You are the bomb Judy!!!!
I just Love it!!!!!! I cann't get away without phone calls from
Hubby asking me to please do this for me. And how can I say no????
He is at his day job and needs help setting stuff up for his own Bussiness
The man is a clone of the energized bunny!!! He works 24---7. This weekend
he will be pulling an all-nighter friday so that he can get a new furnace in without
the family ever being aware of the big switch. So it is hard for me to say no to him
I am a push over.... I wish I had your back bone Judy
^i^

 

[JudyS]

i've spent about 23 years as the energizer bunny with an extra teenager (the husband). So I don't feel the least bit guilty at this point. I used to call my family the pig family, now they are the lazies. Can't get them to lift a finger, I may have spoiled them in my energizer bunny days!!!

I see how it is difficult for you. But, how long ago was your surgery?

Judy

 

[kanoneli]

You all make me not-so-sad that I am a divorced empty nester! Not really, it can get lonely, but I remember with my last TKR...it was definitely true...as soon as I began to show the least inclination to do things for myself, everyone (hubby and 2 kids)started to slide back into their old habits of letting me do for them as well! Like you, ^i^, I am sure that I spoiled them through the years! Kanoneli

 

[calling_all_angels]

Judy.
It was three weeks yesterday. (Sometimes it seems like it was long ago
and sometimes it seems like yesterday!!!) Ohhhh that sounds like marriage!!!!
I understand that I need to be on top of this R-TKR by March 6th but sometimes I just do not think my body is listening. And now I keep questioning myself wondering if maybe I should have had both done at the same time?? I would now be getting it all behind me. Instead I am trying to get set up for left knee.
Yesterday when 3 year grandson came to spend the day with me I just wanted to hold him so close!!! I could just gooble him up. He was stuck to me like glue. But they are busy with the 2 teenagers so when will I see him again???? Cann't drive yet and by time they let me it will be time for left knee. I just keep telling myself when I get this behind me I will be able to do things with the little one's and the teenagers that I have not been able to do in years!!! All I have to do is make it through the springtime then it should get easier.
^i^

 

[calling_all_angels]

Kanoneli,
I think that we come from a time when woman seem to think that they had to do it all. I know that I was allowed to have a job when the children were young only if I keep everything at the house the same!!! (Gosh that really sounds dumb on paper) Otherwise I could not work outside of the house.
I have always been the one to take care of everything and everyone. And I was and am good at it. I just do not seem to have the same surpport.
^i^

 

[kanoneli]

I hear what you're saying! And I DO miss that kind of being needed! An unwanted divorce, kids moving on...and me and my knees! But as Hellen Reddy rallied us so many years ago..."I am woman, I am strong!"

 

[calling_all_angels]

Yes and Hellen was right!!!!! We are strong, but sometimes we all so need a shoulder oursleves to lean on. And that is when I feel the most alone. Thank god for my Children and Grandchildren. And divorce is so tough I have a close friend who was married over 25 years when Hubby decided he was not happy!!!!!!! He was the baby of the family and was the baby of their marriage!!! She now knows she is better off but it still hurts her.
^i^

 

[JudyS]

I am very strong too , but when major surgery hits you just need someone taking care of you too.
Especially with this back surgery as the pain level is so horrible it is difficult to do anything. I coudn't even stand up long enough to make coffee or toast. That took 3 trips to the kitchen last week. A little better now although putting the water in the carafe and pouring it in the machine still hurts a lot.

I already have my 14 year old daughter aasking why I can't make her something to eat.

anyway I keep having dreams that my parents are here or I still live at home. I think this happened with my first neck fusion too. Just the subconscious hoping for some help.

I keep hoping on this forum I will meet someone in my area thta I can help after they have surgery

We will get through this and be stronger for it. Just wish everyone had someone to spoil them at this point.

Callilng hang in there. At least the right knee is done and it should be a quicker return to driving with the left. I had my knee surgery 7 weeks ago and have not driven since. I've been trying to get someone in my house to drive me to a few stores but no luck yet. My spine doc said yesterday that I could drive, I just don't feel ready, certainly not strong enough.

Judy

 

[calling_all_angels]

Geee Judy,
Is it warm in Southern California?? If so maybe I could fly out to vist my
Cousins then swing by scare the begees out of your teenager!!! And then maybe
the left knee would be fun after that!! LOL
^i^

 

[JudyS]

Sounds like a great plan!!!!
Judy

On my first nite following surgery without any pain relief I was laying with my head buried and tears slowly and gently falling when My husband and 20 year old and 16 year old walked in.
I just heard that the pain management people were of no help and the doc on call from the ortho office said not to call him any more. I told my husband to get the kids out of there so we sent them to get something to eat. Then I cried my eyes out. Could not bellieve I was in a hospital and nobody would do anything about my pain. Heavy sobs which then made my back hurt more.

Maybe I should not have protected them from seeing mom fall apart. I know they were aware of it all as my 16 year old was sending text messages to my nephew which got to my parents in florida, but maybe I should have let them see it all too

Judy

 

[aussie]

I agree Judy, I think sometimes it is good for the family to see how difficult things are for you so they understand. No need to be melodramatic but if you are in pain and can't do things I think it shows that superwomen (and men) can have times in their lives when they are vulnerable also. Who knows what lies ahead for any of our kids, hopefully not KR's but it sends them a message that everyone has vulnerable times and that's ok.

I just warned mine before I went to hospital that if there were tears later during recovery, it was ok, it was just part of recovery. Thankfully it only happened once but they just asked was there anything they could do to help and didn't worry too much.

Chris

 

[Jamie]

Judy, my word you have been through so much. It is obvious that you are a strong woman, but please, please allow yourself the time to rest and heal. You deserve it and, moreover, you NEED it so that you can continue to be the pillar of strength that you are in your family. You are in my prayers.