BoneSmart® Hip / Knee Replacement Forum
Joint Replacement Patient Advocacy
and Online Community

Information for carer

Discussion in 'Knee Replacement Pre-Op Area' started by gecko, Oct 9, 2018.

  1. gecko

    gecko member
    Thread Starter

    Member Since:
    Jul 4, 2018
    Age:
    62
    Messages:
    109
    Gender:
    Female
    Country:
    Australia Australia
    Hi everyone, having a bit of trouble not sure if my husband grasps the depth of what is going on is there any information in the libary I can print off for him
     
  2. beachy

    beachy graduate

    Member Since:
    May 27, 2018
    Messages:
    833
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Maryland
    Country:
    United States United States
    I know I emailed ( hubs always reads his emails) my hubs a list from Bonesmart that was a post op weekly or daily list of what to expect. Awhile ago. Or something like that. Beach brain can’t remember what it was. Ask an advisor and they can tell you.

    Anyway, it started to change his outlook. And since then we have met so many people that had TKR. And they talked honestly about the first few weeks post op. He sure didn’t “grasp the depth” in the early days and it concerned me. You have time to work on him LOL. They can be trained :rotfl:
    Just kidding. No offense to the men on the forum.:wave:

    They are worried about us and worried that they won’t be able to take care of us properly.

    We had to have a sit down and I told him how I felt and that I needed him more than ever to help. And it’s not that they don’t want to. They’re just a little lost. Like we were when beginning this journey. I had to really explain to him what was going to be needed. He came around. Too much LOL. Now he hovers. we both have the jitters anticipating Thursday. But, he does make me laugh!
    And I’m very grateful for my hubs.

    Good luck Gecko! You can do this!
    Now get off my couch and send me $150 for the therapy session :heehee:
     
  3. ertuck

    ertuck junior member

    Member Since:
    Sep 9, 2017
    Age:
    74
    Messages:
    94
    Gender:
    Male
    Country:
    United Kingdom United Kingdom
    Tell him to watch the whole of this youtube video of the T K R op. It should give him some idea of what you have gone through!!
     
  4. beachy

    beachy graduate

    Member Since:
    May 27, 2018
    Messages:
    833
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Maryland
    Country:
    United States United States
    @ertuck
    I’ve watched it myself several times. Totally amazing and a little like Texas Chainsaw Massacre LOL. That’s what I’ve been calling my surgery. Creeps out my son and hubs. So of course I keep saying it.

    My hubs refuses to watch. And the YouTube video is of one of the OS in the group I’m using.

    Gecko, if you can get him to watch it....
    It will change his outlook. After he uncovers his eyes.
     
  5. gecko

    gecko member
    Thread Starter

    Member Since:
    Jul 4, 2018
    Age:
    62
    Messages:
    109
    Gender:
    Female
    Country:
    Australia Australia
    You are hillarious @beachy just what I needed a laugh sure as hell sick of these tears, @ertuck I will try to get him to watch but that might be difficult he hates the site of blood
     
  6. beachy

    beachy graduate

    Member Since:
    May 27, 2018
    Messages:
    833
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Maryland
    Country:
    United States United States
    Aww don’t cry gecko. Look at your own profile pic. THAT’S hilarious! Makes me laugh every time I see it!

    I was pretty down for awhile, too. As I started getting all the items needed for recovery, asked a lot of questions, got hubs “on board”, prepared the house, got all the last minute stuff done.....I’m now exhaling.

    The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is something I’m not looking forward to but, I know I have to do it. Twice. Will there be pain? Yes. Will drugs, rest, ice and elevating help? Yes. Will I let PT hurt me? Heck no! Is my doc accessible? Yes.
    The rest is in God’s hands.

    Buckle up, Buttercup! It’s going to be a bumpy ride LOL
     
    • Like Like x 1
  7. Jockette

    Jockette FORUM ADVISOR Forum Advisor

    Member Since:
    Aug 29, 2017
    Messages:
    6,278
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Delaware
    Country:
    United States United States
    I wouldn’t push too much for your husband to watch the video if he doesn’t want to. You can just tell him what goes on and he’ll get the point.

    My husband and I went into this so blind but when he saw how much pain I was in, in those early days, and how limited I was for a while, he couldn’t do enough for me. As I started to get better he was still wanting to do things to help me. I had to tell him I didn’t need to be dropped off at the door, that the walk from the car to the store was good for me, things like that. I never felt he hovered, just that he was close by, ready and willing to do whatever I needed. :roseshwr:
     
  8. Txmomgmom3

    Txmomgmom3 senior

    Member Since:
    May 5, 2018
    Age:
    55
    Messages:
    251
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Texas
    Country:
    United States United States
    Texas Chainsaw Massacre...that's great for us October feisties lol. I actually watched the surgery before my first tkt..big mistake..almost talked myself out of it :heehee: Watched it again after surgery too...it helps you understand why the pain is what it is. Hubby won't watch or look at pictures though. He was good through the recovery but thought I'd be back to normal sooner. That caused (and still causes) some tears and "disagreements" :rotfl:
     
  9. beachy

    beachy graduate

    Member Since:
    May 27, 2018
    Messages:
    833
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Maryland
    Country:
    United States United States
    @Txmomgmom3
    I know, right! Perfect scary movie for Halloween month! And Gecko’s surgery is on Halloween!
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  10. SusieShoes

    SusieShoes FORUM ADVISOR Forum Advisor

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2016
    Age:
    65
    Messages:
    5,925
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Philadelphia
    Country:
    United States United States
    I printed up a few items and stuck them into a folder for Mr. Shoes.

    The Activity Progression Chart

    The Chart of TKR Recovery

    The BoneSmart Philosophy of Sensible Post-Op Therapy

    Lose the Work Ethic

    I also printed up useful posts I’d seen in Pre-op and Recovery threads. He did look at them AFTER my surgery. I thought he might before, but he never did. Though he had watched a video of TKR for his job just weeks before my surgery. I think it traumatized him. After I survived surgery, he felt more like it was okay to look toward how to help me get better.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  11. Rhodyrhody

    Rhodyrhody member

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 2018
    Age:
    56
    Messages:
    229
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Rhode Island
    Country:
    United States United States
  12. beachy

    beachy graduate

    Member Since:
    May 27, 2018
    Messages:
    833
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Maryland
    Country:
    United States United States
    @gecko Susieshoes has the list above. The one I gave hubs was activity progression chart.
    Thanks @SusieShoes !!
     
  13. Gingercat

    Gingercat junior member

    Member Since:
    Mar 31, 2018
    Age:
    62
    Messages:
    41
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    USA
    Country:
    United States United States
    Hi @gecko hope you are feeling better. We are here for you. I for one hope your husband sees the video. Its a harsh reality. But he needs to see what you will going through. As I am thinking, my husband has not seen a video of a knee replacement surgery either. I think I will torture him tonight lol
     
  14. gecko

    gecko member
    Thread Starter

    Member Since:
    Jul 4, 2018
    Age:
    62
    Messages:
    109
    Gender:
    Female
    Country:
    Australia Australia
    Thank you so much , I am feeling better this morning managed to have some sleep , I will print off the information and give him a folder hopefully that will help I have to wait until the weekend as my hubby works away.
    Can't remember which post I read about having high pain threshhold but I have one , and I guess for the most part I get around like I don't have much pain, and he comes home and the majority of the jobs are done he doesn't see that most times it takes me all day.
    I am so grateful for bonesmart and to be able to talk to you all:angel::angel:
     
    • Like Like x 3
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 9, 2018
  15. gecko

    gecko member
    Thread Starter

    Member Since:
    Jul 4, 2018
    Age:
    62
    Messages:
    109
    Gender:
    Female
    Country:
    Australia Australia
    I am using my tablet to communicate with you all , how can I print articles for the hubby file:what:
     
  16. Celle

    Celle FORUM ADVISOR Forum Advisor

    Member Since:
    Nov 19, 2011
    Age:
    77
    Messages:
    28,634
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    New Zealand
    Country:
    New Zealand New Zealand
  17. gecko

    gecko member
    Thread Starter

    Member Since:
    Jul 4, 2018
    Age:
    62
    Messages:
    109
    Gender:
    Female
    Country:
    Australia Australia
    Thanks @Celle , will get the laptop out and have ago ☺
     
  18. SusieShoes

    SusieShoes FORUM ADVISOR Forum Advisor

    Member Since:
    Oct 31, 2016
    Age:
    65
    Messages:
    5,925
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Philadelphia
    Country:
    United States United States
    If your husband is tech-savvy or prefers digital information, you could also send him the files via email. He can then compile his own digital collection to read on his tablet. I liked the folder of paper files, though. I could write things on them! :snork:
     
  19. beachy

    beachy graduate

    Member Since:
    May 27, 2018
    Messages:
    833
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Maryland
    Country:
    United States United States
    Print them out and put them in the bathroom. He will definitely read them there. I call hubs bathroom the library!:rotfl:
     
  20. gecko

    gecko member
    Thread Starter

    Member Since:
    Jul 4, 2018
    Age:
    62
    Messages:
    109
    Gender:
    Female
    Country:
    Australia Australia
    Oh @SusieShoes that made me giggle he doesn't even know how to turn the computer on , he cant work technology at all
     
    • Funny Funny x 1

Share This Page

Sponsors
Close X