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Incautious optimism

Discussion in 'Hip Replacement Pre-Op Area' started by Bone-obo, Apr 28, 2018.

  1. Bone-obo

    Bone-obo new member
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    I'm pretty laid-back about things, so for the last 20 years I've followed a simple dictum: if it hurts, don't do it. The outcome has been that I don't usually hurt, but to achieve that I've had to give up kayaking, canoeing, upright bikes, hiking, jogging, trade shows, etc. My life is just like most of yours: full of little adaptations and little trade-offs to live with our hip arthritis, including reliance on drugs to keep the pain at bay. Recently I've started intramuscular cortisone - ahhh! Very nice! Almost like having no arthritis at all!

    That said, I'm really looking forward to having all (or most) of those abandoned things returned to me. When a client who'd had THR years ago casually demonstrated for me how he got in a canoe, my jaw dropped. I had forgotten human beings could actually do things like that!

    So I'm really looking forward to the outcome of THR. There are two in my future - I'm losing length on my right leg, so I'll be saying hello to a new right hip joint in May. Then a few months of recovery, and it's off with my left hip. I'm crazy hopeful about all this - I've read enough of the blogs here (thanks all for sharing!!!) to know the journey can be rough at times, and is decidedly non-linear, and I know the odds of infection are > 0, but doggone it, I'm so ready to have more life in my life I just about can't wait!
     
  2. Mojo333

    Mojo333 FORUM ADVISOR Forum Advisor

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    I can't wait for you! Do you have a date.
    My surgery gave me a while new lease on life.
    Will be canoeing in an hour...no hip pain is amazing.
     
  3. Jaycey

    Jaycey SUPER MODERATOR Moderator

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    @Bone-obo Welcome to BoneSmart! Well done on moving forward with your THRs. You won't regret this amazing surgery. Can you give us your actual surgery dates? I'll pop them into your signature for you. I look forward to following your journey.
     
  4. Bone-obo

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    My bad: May 29th. Mojo333: flat- or white-water? Loved 'em both!
     
  5. Mojo333

    Mojo333 FORUM ADVISOR Forum Advisor

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    Just to the river, lol...mellow little easy river. But great redbreast and plenty of nature.
    No hip pain, AND feel 20 years younger.:egypdance:
     
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  6. Bone-obo

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    The main challenge is reassuring my wife. She's tender-hearted and empathetic, and I know when I'm hurting it hurts her almost as much. Even now, as I'm focussing on happy days to come, she's worried about all the Bad Things: me groaning in pain the first week after surgery (note to self: no groaning), me lying on the bathroom floor wrecked with nausea, dealing with the guilt when she has to leave the house. I need to reassure her, but whenever we talk about it, she has trouble not working herself up. Any suggestions on what I can do to help her?
     
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  7. Mojo333

    Mojo333 FORUM ADVISOR Forum Advisor

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    All temporary with a huge payoff.
    Guessing you can be less fun now with restrictions and Hip pain.
    Let her know within a short week or two you will be mostly self sufficient...
    And don't be a typical man-baby like my better half.:loll:
     
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  8. Bone-obo

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    I'm putting together a journal of things to help me get through recovery - this makes the list! Thanks!
     
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  9. Mojo333

    Mojo333 FORUM ADVISOR Forum Advisor

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    It's really true...I am better than ever.
     
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  10. Jaycey

    Jaycey SUPER MODERATOR Moderator

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    Have your wife do some reading here on the forum. She can even post her worries here as well. We have many members who are on the care-giver side.

    It's very important that you focus on your recovery, not on worrying about your wife's stress. If she is calm then you can both work through any issues.

    BTW - your pain should be well manage post op so there won't be any groaning that first week. If you tend to get nauseous with meds or after anaesthetic - ask for anti-nausea meds. I always take them before and after surgery. And you will be fine on your own if she needs to leave the house. You will be fully mobile moving about on your own before you leave the hospital.
     
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  11. Bone-obo

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    Absolutely dead-on. All activities have to be graded according to whether or not I can participate, so I was definitely a buzz-kill.

    "Man-baby"? Me? :beg:
     
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  12. Bone-obo

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    It's a good idea in theory, but my lurking the last month suggests that there's not a "typical" recovery, and I'm concerned she'd lock onto the more negative stories. She's a very smart woman, and she knows the odds are excellent, but it's hard to reason your way out of anxiety. I think my strategy might be to have her attend the pre-op meetings with me, where she can ask all the questions she has from pros who are used to dealing with worried spouses, and keep her far, far away from any risk of encountering bad outcomes. (On the other hand, she's far better at knowing when to go to the hospital than I am - she'll order me to the doctor long before I'm through toughing it out.)
     
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  13. Layla

    Layla FORUM ADVISOR Forum Advisor

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    Hi @Bone-obo and Welcome to BoneSmart!
    I think the idea of having your wife accompany you to pre-op meetings is wise.
    I believe it's usually a nurse you meet with and they are practiced at easing anxiety through reassurance.

    Not everyone suffers extreme pain post op. I didn't. I kept waiting for it to kick in. I took 4 Oxy post op and then only Extra Strength Tylenol. I am not alone in this. I did have pain but to me is was tolerable and far less than what I expected. Your pain should be well managed before you leave the hospital and you can always contact your OS if you need to make an adjustment. I never experienced nausea. I don't even believe that's the norm.

    This surgery is about you losing the pain you're suffering, regaining flexibility, mobility, basically your life. You don't need the added stress of an anxious spouse. While you can't stop her apprehension you can gently explain that you need her to be strong since worrying about her anxiety is stressful for you. I feel if my husband put it to me that way, I'd try my hardest to be strong for him and hide my anxiety the best I could.

    You sound ready and excited. You're going to love it. I'm excited for you. Stop by often, we're always here and will try to advise, cheer and encourage in any way we can.

    A great rest of the weekend to you!
     
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  14. Mojo333

    Mojo333 FORUM ADVISOR Forum Advisor

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    I toughed it out...mostly due to misdiagnosis...what a waste of recovery time...and good times after.
     
  15. Eman85

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    I had a different philosophy, if it hurt I still did it, I wanted my money's worth before I traded it in. I just passed week 10 and it's still a recovery. I waited just in case it didn't work out. So far so good and I'm really anxious now to get back to doing everything I want to do. I've gained range of motion and lost the joint pain, now it's all getting the muscles to play. The risks are there and very real. I had a great experience with a great OS and a hospital that was extremely focused on preventing infection and giving extraordinary care. Choose a great OS and it should all be great.
     
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  16. Bone-obo

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    @Layla: thanks for the corrective - it's easy to cherry-pick cases, good or bad, and turn them into unreasonable expectations, and it looks like that's exactly what I've done in an attempt to model the worst possible recovery experience.

    @mojo: I'm so sorry for your misdiagnosis! What a mess! But on the bright side - I'll bet the canoe trip yesterday was pretty cool.

    @Eman85: Good advice! So far, I'm pretty happy with my surgeon - his rep is stellar, and he's very upbeat about my recovery, which is reassuring.
     
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  17. Mojo333

    Mojo333 FORUM ADVISOR Forum Advisor

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    Trip fell through with friends, so had to make due with fishing in BIL pond.
    Did catch a handful of bluegill AND about a one pound bass on my trusty Spiderman pole! (Don't ask...it's a long story, but is pretty infamous):curtsey:
    Rode for about two hours on the ATV, which was absolutely impossible painful this time last year, and never had a twinge of of these bionic hips.:wowspring:
     
  18. Layla

    Layla FORUM ADVISOR Forum Advisor

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    Many, many have decent, uneventful recoveries. So...why can't you, right?
    I think the pre-op meeting, joint camp, or whatever it's called in your area will put both you and your wife's mind at ease in regard to recovery. I know I walked out of my meeting with fresh optimism.

    At my pre-op meeting I expressed apprehension upon learning I'd be released to the care of my husband only 23 hours after surgery :yikes: the nurse truly put my mind at ease. They have a way of making it all sound so easy peasy. For me, hearing "you can do this" did help quell a lot of my fears. We'll be here rooting you on also :yes!: BoneSmart proved invaluable to me as I was healing. Reading others recovery stories and the ability to seek advice and receive prompt responses was very helpful. I'll bet you do great.
    Enjoy the day!
    @Bone-obo
     
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  19. Mojo333

    Mojo333 FORUM ADVISOR Forum Advisor

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    :hi: just checking in
    Hope you are all set for getting your life back without Hip pain.
     
  20. Bone-obo

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    @mojo: most kind, thanks! Absolutely. I've got typical pre-surgery jitters (not dread as much as nervous waiting - okay, maybe a little dread...). With my last cortisone shot wearing off, my right leg has developed a bad attitude - the last half of an hour meeting this afternoon was entirely taken standing in a hallway, and all I remember of the last 15 minutes was smiling and pretending nothing was wrong. My hip is going to make a lovely bookend. (I kinda hope they'll let me keep it....)

    Looking forward to actually wearing shoes with laces again.... :martini:
     
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