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I just turned 30...facing possible THR and pretty nervous.

Discussion in 'Hip Replacement Pre-Op Area' started by Skywalker, Jul 27, 2019.

  1. Skywalker

    Skywalker new member
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    I have been reading through different posts on this, and have read some posts about others in their 30s who have faced THRs. I am still really nervous about the idea and would love some feedback and encouragement!

    I am 30, a mother of three (ages 6,4 and 3), I homeschool, and have a pretty busy life. When I was 21 I saw an orthopedic surgeon who told me that (after a lot of wear and tear from my years professional dancing) I had some cartilage damage and arthritis in my left hip. They did a surgery where they repaired the cartilage and cleared away all of the mess, and told me I might have some more life on the joint, maybe 10 years.

    6 months ago, the pain came back, but a lot worse. And for the past 6 months, the decline in my lifestyle has been devastating. I crawl up stairs and we have big stairs in the house!, and bum-scoot down. It takes me about 5 minutes to stand up from a chair. I fall over when I try and bend over. And the pain keeps me up at night even though I just am lying in bed. I bought a cane but my pride keeps me from wanting to use it around my other fit mom friends who don’t quite get it. It’s really humiliating. I end every day crawling and in extreme pain.

    So my husband finally got me to see my GP who, after doing an xray and seeing severe arthritis damage is sending me back to the same surgical practice and recommending a hip replacement. I haven’t seen the surgeon yet - waiting for the appointment - and I know that he might have other alternatives. Though because of other medical problems, I am not allowed ANY NSAIDs and steroids because of tissue damage. But I know that this might be an option before me and I am trying to be realistic about it.

    Anyone out there done this? This young in their life?

    What I want is to have my life back, be able to walk to the park with my kids, or just climb stairs like a pro, but I am so scared of any big, daunting recovery, who would watch my kids, etc, and I am nervous that it will be something that doesn’t last. Should I try to keep going on this joint? I’m just really, really, nervous about what this means for my future.

    Thank you for reading! I really appreciate any kind of support!
     
  2. yorkiegs1

    yorkiegs1 junior member

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    Hi Skywalker,
    Sorry your in so much pain and no one should ever be in that much pain. If I were in your shoes I would see the surgeon and go from there. I am 6 weeks post op TLHR due to osteoarthritis being bone on bone and am doing fine but I’m not 30 years old. There are lots of younger people who have had hip replacements with success. I would imagine if you went forward with a hip replacement being so young you’d maybe bounce back faster than an older person and all of your pain would be gone. But I’m not a surgeon, so getting an appointment with one ASSP would be the best option right now.
    Wishing you luck!!
     
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  3. Skywalker

    Skywalker new member
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    Thank you so much! I hope to get one soon. They told me: “Dont call us, we will call you” and it could be a week before I hear back! Just waiting game now.
     
  4. Mojo333

    Mojo333 FORUM ADVISOR Forum Advisor

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    :wave: and :welome:
    Most of our younger folks who recently underwent hip replacement are gone and back to their lives sans hip pain:yes!:
    @Toddlermom is one who comes to mine along with @JennyLynne
    Check out their threads...life with no hip pain is :dancy:
     
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  5. Ptarmigan

    Ptarmigan senior

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    Hi, @Skywalker !

    It’s wonderful you’ve found your way to BoneSmart this early in the process. I started lurking on this site months before I posted; I was very slow to warm to the idea of surgery. Reading the articles and personal threads was crucial to helping me understand my circumstances - and even more important, develop self-confidence that I could undertake both the surgery and recovery successfully.

    For now, I hope your primary care doctor will help you with pain management while you pursue a permanent solution. I have been going to PT “prehab,” and my therapist directed me to be very conservative with my hip until it’s replaced. He said, “You’re driving on a bald tire. I don’t want to see you skid out on a blowout.” Your description of crawling made me think “bald tire”. I knew reducing my activity lowered my pain, but until he talked to me, I hadn’t considered the safety concerns.

    So many people here have said to me “We’re all in this together!”. I am so grateful to this community for the companionship, education and help I have found here. Keep posting - it will help!
     
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  6. Skywalker

    Skywalker new member
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    Wow, thank you @Ptarmigan! Thats really helpful! My GP didn’t discuss much pain management since I can’t take any NSAIDs, and she might want me to just speak with the surgeon. For now its just Tylenol, which doesn’t do that much.

    I am so used to living life liek this that I forget about caring for the hip I still have. I know I should probably be really careful, but do you have any practical advice in that way? Like should I be more radically reducing how much activity I am doing? I tend to push myself rather than hold back... so I appreciate the advice.

    Yeah, It has been cool to read a lot of the threads on this forum and its nice to see other people’s stories. I am surprised by how positive everyone seems to be about their experience and it makes me less wary for when/if the surgeon says the words “Full hip Replacement”.
     
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  7. Going4fun

    Going4fun senior

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    The advice I got about pain ... (and I don't know about your specific hip) ... is that I couldn't really harm the hip by being active ... but that I would simply cause myself more pain by being extremely active. So the advice is ... if you want to avoid pain, take Tylenol ... and do some icing ...

    And about being 30 ... that's fine these days ... treat the hip ... not the patient's age. About people being positive ... well once you've got bone-on-bone arthritis ... there is little that will bring real improvement other than hip replacement. Some people get temporary relief from shots ... but that's not a permanently solution. I'm ten months out ... and I just ran two days in a row ... once outside and the next day on the treadmill ... couldn't have done that last summer without massive pain during the activity and afterwards ... and today I'm feeling just overall slightly stiff (I pushed myself pretty hard on the treadmill) ... but no pain ... So yes, I'm positive about hip replacement.

    I would say make sure to find someone who you really like and trust and who is comfortable with operating on younger patients.
     
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  8. Ptarmigan

    Ptarmigan senior

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    I didn’t think Tylenol was helping all that much, either, until I had to stop taking it for a day (I had eye surgery - couldn’t have anything by mouth) and then I realized it made a big difference. A really big difference. At some point I switched to the Extended Release 8-hour formula, 2 tablets 3x a day. Some here, including Josephine, our nurse and BoneSmart guru, advise the 500mg formula, 2 tablets, taken every six hours. I tried that too - it’s not as helpful to me, personally. Josephine strictly reminds us that we cannot exceed 4000mg a day, and must factor in any cold medicine or other source of Tylenol to make sure we don’t exceed that total. The key here is to take the pills on time every time, because they are significantly more effective that way.

    If you look at the Recovery threads, you will see directions for icing, resting, and elevation. All three help greatly with my pain and inflammation. I also use a heating pad for comfort. I get relief from a TENS machine (about $25 online) and it really helps just before bed. I have been seeing a physical therapist to get ready for surgery. I follow an anti-inflammatory diet. Some of these may work for you, too. My PCP and/or PT recommended them all.

    I noticed sleep has a big influence - either for good or bad - on both pain and emotions. My sweet husband is a very restless sleeper, and for 26 years, I had no trouble dropping right back to sleep when he would wake me. Not so when my hip is aching. So, I have (very temporarily) moved into our guest room. I was dismayed about this, until I discovered here on BoneSmart that difficulty sleeping is common, and I was far from alone in seeking a quiet place to sleep.

    Like you, I started out by pushing myself to ignore the pain, fatigue, and loss of function associated with the degeneration of my joint. Then, I saw my X-ray; I have bone spurs and bone cysts, both caused by inflammation from bone-on-bone contact. I couldn’t ignore that. I discovered I had a period of freedom every day, but there were limits, and I would pay dearly if I pushed past those limits. This forced me to prioritize among my responsibilities, and delegate those things that were not critical. I know this is temporary.

    As you read the Recovery guidelines, and the threads, you will see many references to “slow and steady.” I believe that adapting to my limits pre-op is preparing me to recover “the BoneSmart way.” It was hard in the beginning to accept help, but I have improved, and my loved ones are happier when they know they are making this challenge easier for me. I would not want to guess how to adapt these ideas to your particular circumstances - the best answers are the ones you will discover for yourself. I have so much confidence you will find your way!

    I have one more thought to share, in response to your word “humiliating”. You are on the younger side for this particular medical problem, it’s true. Still, I guarantee you that sooner or later, each and every one of those moms you feel so shy around will face a health challenge, too. It’s part of being human. Would you feel humiliated to use a cane after ACL surgery, because you fell skiing? Would you look at one of those moms with less respect if they were using a cane? Somehow I don’t think so. It might be time to show yourself the same kindness and understanding you would show anyone else :).
     
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    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 30, 2019
  9. Jaycey

    Jaycey SUPER MODERATOR Moderator

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    Well here is some reading for you:
    Hips that have lasted 32, 40, 41 and 45 years
    67½ year old - the THRs, not the patient!
    These days implants are lasting much longer. Gone is the threat of a revision in 10-15 years.
    No - you do not need to live in pain. Get rid of that bad hip and get back to living life a gain.

    You might also be interested in hearing about one of our super stars. This young lady had her hip replaced at 24 and was dancing again only months out. Dancing after THR: 4 months pics THR
     
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  10. julesglass

    julesglass graduate

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    Morning to you @Skywalker. Ohhh the smiles on those beautiful faces in a group hug put a smile on my face. Squeezing each other so tight!!! I'm just starting my third week post op and wanted to extend a warm greeting to you. Taking it easy on yourself now will help to get you to the life changing surgery you desperately need for yourself and family. Little ones love to help and it teaches them the joy of helping others. I'm sure they are helping you even at this point. With all the good advice and encouragement you have received I would add one more, a cane. There are many fashionable ones on line and the little ones could help you pick one. It could help you navigate around now not just post op. If you do, watch YouTube videos on sizing it and properly using it. Any of the post op tools could benefit you greatly in this pre op stage. Lay back take a deep breath knowing that you will get to a bright pain free life once again. Take care, we're pulling for you we're all in this together. :console2:
     
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  11. Josephine

    Josephine FORUM ADMIN, NURSE DIRECTOR Administrator

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    This "young"? My dear lady, you are only marginally young for a hip replacement. It might help you to read these threads Teenage hip replacements. THEY are young!

    And Jaycey is right - the longevity of hips is now in the 30-35 year mark meaning you will likely be almost 70 before you even need to think about a revision!

    Also please don't try to keep going on that hip. As bad as it is now, it can get a lot, lot worse if you try to hold out. I've attached a form to this post which you should print off and fill in. It's specially designed for members to use and should give you a really good idea of your knee for a hip replacement.
     

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  12. Layla

    Layla FORUM ADVISOR Forum Advisor

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    Hello :wave: Welcome to BoneSmart. Thanks for joining us. Your babies are adorable!
    I'm sorry you're dealing with such awful pain. Your description of navigating stairs
    shows the desperate situation you're in. I hope you're able to get and appointment soon. It's crazy you have to wait to schedule a consultation appointment. Could your GP recommend another practice / surgeon where you can at least schedule an appointment so you're able to get the process into motion?

    Please consider using a cane and kick pride to the curb. You're taking care of yourself and any of your fit mom friends who are that judgemental aren't worth your time anyway. You can't help it that your hip deteriorated. I'm sure you wouldn't judge one of them if they were in your position. They'll eventually see you with a cane once you're recovering, so get the humiliation part over with now. You don't need that added stress. I'm sure they'll react with compassion and be very supportive, possibly even offering to help,with the kids when you're in a bind. You will need help with the kids post op. Either that of your husband, family member, close friend, neighbor etc. Your children are too young to fend for themselves even under your direction. They have needs that you won't be able to meet initially. You will be surprised how quickly you bounce back though.

    Following are two more threads of moms with young ones who went through surgery within the last year. Both are in their early 40's, so a bit older than you, but mothers of young children. You may find their threads interesting.
    https://bonesmart.org/forum/threads/lababymamas-recovery-thread.53858/
    https://bonesmart.org/forum/threads/new-hip-amidst-fire-evacuations.51275/unread

    Stop by often. We'll be here to answer questions, offer support and encouragement as you move forward.
    Wishing you comfort. I hope you get an appointment soon.
    @Skywalker
     
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    Last edited: Jul 28, 2019
  13. otisbeagle

    otisbeagle member

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    Hiya!!
    Sounds like you’re really suffering. Frankly, your disability is so severe that you’re likely to feel more functional days after you get your new hip. I am a 43 year old mother of a toddler with previously undiagnosed hip dysplasia. By the time I had the surgery, I couldn’t walk a block without cursing! (I was able to climb stairs, but it didn’t feel great.). Got my new hip in late November, and am doing exceedingly well (aside from a possibly unrelated injury that is almost healed now). I was hiking and working out intensively by 5 or 6 weeks post-op, and I got a lot out of PT.
    Maybe find a family member to watch your kids for three or four weeks while you’re recuperating, and then you’ll be amazed at your new life!! As for homeschooling, I’m thinking you will need a sub (or schedule the surgery during vacation). But if possible, don’t put it off too long. My only regret is that I didn’t get the surgery a few months earlier, because my dysfunction increased dramatically in the months leading up to my surgery.
     
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  14. JennyLynne

    JennyLynne post-grad

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    Hi... I am not around much anymore and just saw @Mojo333 's tag of me.
    While I am not as young as you, I have had my share of issues at a relatively young age. I had a partial knee replacement at 41 (my son was 3), full replacement at 43 (my son was 5) and then bilateral hips in April at 45 (my son is 7). My only regret is not doing my knee sooner! The impacts of surgical recovery are nothing compared to the negative impacts to quality of life before the surgery! And while recovery isn't a walk in the park... you are getting better every day, as opposed to the opposite beforehand.

    I was driving at 3 weeks, working from home at that point and back to the office at 6 weeks. Every recovery is unique, of course, but i would do this again 1,000 times compared to living in the pain I was in before.

    Best of luck to you!!
     
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  15. GrannyC

    GrannyC post-grad

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    I have to agree with all the others. The sooner you have this amazing surgery, the sooner you will have your life back. You don’t want any interim “helps” like the shots or pt. You want a total hip replacement. After the surgery there is a short time of surgical discomfort but right from the minute you wake up after surgery, all the OA pain is totally gone! Plus I believe that hip replacement surgery is one of the most common and most successful surgeries out there. Someone please correct me if this is not correct. It’s good to have a surgeon who does a lot of replacements with a good success rate. Since your GP recommended you to someone, I’m sure they are top notch. That is how I found my surgeon. I am not 30 but if I can go through this in my 70’s, you can be sure you will go through it even better. The longer you wait for surgery, the more damage done to your joint. You need to get rid of the problem as soon as possible. Once you get your appointment, assuming they recommend THR, you might ask to go on the waiting list in case they have any cancellations sooner. As far as your children go, if you briefly explain to them what is happening prior to your surgery, and how you will need them to pitch in and help, you will undoubtedly find they are the best little nurses you could ask for. I wish you all the best!!
     
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  16. CricketHip

    CricketHip FORUM ADVISOR Forum Advisor

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    Hello and welcome! Sometimes i see somebody post and I so wish I was the one who wrote it. And I feel that way after reading what @GrannyC just posted to you. :goodpost:
    It's so scary getting that initial diagnosis and facing this kind of surgery. I remember my reaction so well, just like it was yesterday. I was in my 50's and felt too young, so can't even imagine for you.
    But there is a tomorrow and when you put your plans into place and see the amazing results, it will be a distant memory and you will join our ranks of people wishing they had done it sooner.

    Your children are adorable and I too believe they will be very good little helpers.
    I cringe just thinking of you carrying on like you are doing right now and wish for you the fastest and easiest resolution, ever. :flwrysmile:
     
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  17. Skywalker

    Skywalker new member
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    Wow. I cannot tell you all how much I cried reading through all your posts just now. (I had a really busy week and didnt check until now). I have felt so much hopelessness the last week and a half (waiting for an appointment!) as I just grit my teeth through the pain, and have felt really confused. These posts were exactly what I needed to hear! I went to a family event on Sunday and mentioned to people that a hip replacement was on the table, and they all reacted like “You can only get two of those in your life! Dont start now!” (Which, is that true??)—or “There are other ways! Try those first!”

    I don’t really think they understand my situation well. And so I try not to be to discouraged by them. I want to do the right thing and regain an active life!

    I think I will go and re read all these posts again, I just wanted to thank you all for giving me your time, words, compassion and exhortation. This girl needs it.
     
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  18. Going4fun

    Going4fun senior

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    @Skywalker, yeah when I told my friends a hip replacement was in the cards, almost all of them were skeptical and wondering if my pain or problem was really that bad. Thank God, I discovered BS and a few other online communities and I did a lot of research and reading about doctors and recent developments in hip replacement.

    The rest of the world (the world without hip arthritis) doesn't get (doesn't need to get) how wonderful a treatment hip replacement surgery can be ... they also don't get how much pain you're in day in and day out ... and the way your life becomes steadily smaller as you move less and less. So unfortunately unaffected friends and family aren't all that helpful or supportive.

    I was at a picnic just last summer ... like a month before my surgery ... and a really sharp wonderful woman I know, a work colleague, couldn't believe I was scheduled for surgery. "Are you sure you don't need to do more stretching?" she asked. Stretching?! I couldn't believe the question, though I maintained enough politeness to evenly say "no, I need more than stretching." This super-bright and wonderful woman really had the idea that perhaps this surgery wasn't necessary and all I needed to do was stretch. Of course, the whole concept of getting an artificial hip seems bizarre, unimaginable, if you've been fortunate enough to not have unrelenting hip pain that leads you to limit your life more and more. So unfortunately, folks without hip arthritis issues ... well ... bless their hearts ... but they're clueless. And why wouldn't they be? I was clueless right up to the point I got my diagnosis.

    I didn't get the point your relatives were making here: You can only get two of those in your life! Dont start now!” (Which, is that true??)... Can you clairfy?
     
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  19. Jaycey

    Jaycey SUPER MODERATOR Moderator

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    Nope, they have no clue. Bottom line is that you have lots of living to do. Get rid of that horrid hip pain and get back to enjoying time with your family and friends.
     
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  20. Skywalker

    Skywalker new member
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    That is so helpful, thank you! I was told by several people that you can only have a maximum of two joint replacements in your life. So if you use up two in younger years, that’s it! Is that true?? Even my friend in England says that.
     

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