Ask the Expert Webinar
Lounge Doctor

THR I’m so overwhelmed HELP

Nchiodo

junior member
Joined
Sep 6, 2020
Messages
29
Age
68
Gender
Female
Country
United States United States
If I knew the post op was so overwhelming I wouldn’t of had surgery. I’m 7 days out from hip surgery and every emotion has been tested. Can’t sleep, can’t even lay in bed, restless leg syndrome popped up, husband is overwhelmed with all the extra care, I don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel and on top of it I’m scared to death I’m gonna do something wrong to this new hip and cause it to dislocate. I thought I was prepared but I guess I wasn’t. I’m so glad I found this group cuz right now I’m so confused. Other people say there hip replacement was a piece of cake. I’m not finding that. What am I doing wrong?
 

Trudijane

member
Joined
May 16, 2019
Messages
126
Age
65
Location
San Francisco
Gender
Female
Country
United States United States
If I knew the post op was so overwhelming I wouldn’t of had surgery. I’m 7 days out from hip surgery and every emotion has been tested. Can’t sleep, can’t even lay in bed, restless leg syndrome popped up, husband is overwhelmed with all the extra care, I don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel and on top of it I’m scared to death I’m gonna do something wrong to this new hip and cause it to dislocate. I thought I was prepared but I guess I wasn’t. I’m so glad I found this group cuz right now I’m so confused. Other people say there hip replacement was a piece of cake. I’m not finding that. What am I doing wrong?
First, it has only been 7 days. All I can say (although others in this group are far more knowledgable, it that you will get to the other side at your own pace. Don’t compare yourself to any other who said it was breeze. I remember people saying that - and it wasn’t a breeze for me either. And I was alone, with no 24/7 care; which made it harder.

So you’re not doing anything wrong; the only thing that’s wrong is comparing your hearing process with anybody else. It takes time, and even after a year now; I worry if I might have done something wrong if I move incorrectly!

Perhaps you can get additional help from a physical therapist, etc. and so your husband doens’t have the complete burden of care. It must make it that more stressful.

It was never an easy time for you, and I, like you, didn’t know if it would ever end, but don’t remember the exact time - but it did and now I’m so happy that I did this. I can walk without pain and you will be able to do that a too. Be patient.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Elf1

FORUM ADVISOR
Forum Advisor
Joined
Apr 2, 2019
Messages
2,019
Age
64
Gender
Female
Country
United States United States
@Nchiodo :wave: and welcome to the healing side. Going to leave you our Recovery Guidelines, son really useful information that may make your recovery much easier.

Hip Recovery: The Guidelines
1. Don’t worry: Your body will heal all by itself. Relax, let it, don't try and hurry it, don’t worry about any symptoms now, they are almost certainly temporary
2. Control discomfort:
rest
elevate
ice
take your pain meds by prescription schedule (not when pain starts!)
3. Do what you want to do BUT
a. If it hurts, don't do it and don't allow anyone - especially a physical therapist - to do it to you
b. If your leg swells more or gets stiffer in the 24 hours after doing it, don't do it again.
4. PT or exercise can be useful BUT take note of these
BoneSmart philosophy for sensible post op therapy
5. At week 4 and after you should follow this
Activity progression for THRs
6. Access these pages on the website
Oral And Intravenous Pain Medications
Wound Care In Hospital

Pain management and the pain chart
Healing: how long does it take?
Chart representation of THR recovery

Dislocation risk and 90 degree rule
Energy drain for THRs
Pain and swelling control: elevation is the key
Post op blues is a reality - be prepared for it
Myth busting: on getting addicted to pain meds
Sleep deprivation is pretty much inevitable - but what causes it?

BIG TIP: Hips actually don't need any exercise to get better. They do a pretty good job of it all on their own if given half a chance. Trouble is, people don't give them a chance and end up with all sorts of aches and pains and sore spots. All they need is the best therapy which is walking and even then not to excess.

We try to keep the forum a positive and safe place for our members to talk about their questions or concerns and to report successes with their joint replacement surgery.

While members may create as many threads as they like in a majority of BoneSmart's forums, we ask that each member have only one recovery thread. This policy makes it easier to go back and review history before providing advice.
 

Elf1

FORUM ADVISOR
Forum Advisor
Joined
Apr 2, 2019
Messages
2,019
Age
64
Gender
Female
Country
United States United States
@Nchiodo also, could you please tell us what hip you had replaced and the exact date? One of the moderators will create a signature for you and it will enable those of us reading your thread to know exactly where you're at in recovery.

The first two weeks, at least, are usually anything but a breeze. Some are super happy the first couple of days because the surgery is over, some are just overwhelmed with the while thing.

Unfortunately, sleep can be somewhat elusive for a period of time. I know most of us weren't used to sleeping on our backs so had adjustments there. Pillows all around can be useful at making you more comfortable. Others have found that sleeping in their recliner worked much better for them.

Are you taking your pain medication as prescribed? It is much easier to stay ahead of your pain than to try and play catch up. Have you tried icing and elevating? You'll see in item #2 above info on how to use and elevate properly. I had never been an advocate for icing but will tell you that after my surgery I became one of its biggest fans! :ice:

Your surgeon or the hospital should have sent you home with some instructions as to what and what not to do. Also, if you read the Recovery Guidelines you'll find info on how to avoid dislocation, energy drain, an activity chart to give you an idea of what is kind of normal at what point in recovery.

At 7 days out about the only things you should be doing is resting, nap whenever possible, ice, ice, ice, elevate and get up and move around the house a little. Nothing major at this time. Hopefully this helps you feel a little better.
 
OP
OP
Nchiodo

Nchiodo

junior member
Joined
Sep 6, 2020
Messages
29
Age
68
Gender
Female
Country
United States United States
Thank you so much for your response. Your story has given me hope. I’m going to call my doc this week and ask about the anti depressants. I thought I worried enough before the surgery but now i seem to be worrying again after the surgery. Its a crazy viscous circle during recovery.
 
OP
OP
Nchiodo

Nchiodo

junior member
Joined
Sep 6, 2020
Messages
29
Age
68
Gender
Female
Country
United States United States
Hi Elf1

yes I had a total right hip replaced. My surgery date was 9/1/2020. I’m so grateful that I found this site it will definitely help when I become overwhelmed and blue.
Thank you everyone for your support
Nancy
 

leejaa

FORUM ADVISOR
Forum Advisor
Joined
Feb 3, 2013
Messages
3,139
Age
66
Location
NY State
Gender
Female
Country
United States United States
Hi and :welome: to bonesmart. As Elf said, the first weeks are the hardest but it does get easier. I think I was very euphoric the first few days and then reality hit and it was much harder. Slow and steady will get you through to a good result from this surgery. Ice, rest and elevate with small walks for now and soon you will be able to do more.

Read the recovery guidelines and it will help explain how to deal and why some of the feelings that seem to overwhelm us. You might want to share some of them with your husband so that he realizes that there is a light at the end of the tunnel that you feel you might be in right now. It does pass.

Sending (((hugs))) and positive healing vibes. Have a peaceful night.
 

copsham

post-grad
Joined
Jan 7, 2015
Messages
1,665
Age
69
Location
UK
Gender
Female
Country
United Kingdom United Kingdom
Hi Nchiodo,
When someone tells you it was a breeze, take it with a pinch of salt. I would say now my hip replacement 5 years ago was a breeze. I really can feel the benefits . BUT reading your post reminds me of my recovery, wow quite an ordeal really. It is convenient to forget it all and say it was a brezze.

It is amazing though, it feels you will never heal, never walk properly, never sleep but little by little it all happens. Keep posting it will be good to here your progress.
 

Eman85

post-grad
Joined
Mar 4, 2018
Messages
1,827
Age
64
Location
E Tennesee
Gender
Male
Country
United States United States
Well the only way to look at it is it's too late to turn back now. You just have to trust all of us that had this done that it's worth it and that better days are coming. Accepting the realistic timeline of recovery and enjoying the progress as it comes will make it better. The first 2 weeks are not a breeze but it does get better, and then you'll have short periods where you don't see any progress and will get the blues.
 

melquist

junior member
Joined
Sep 26, 2019
Messages
49
Location
Penn Valley, CA
Gender
Female
Country
United States United States
Nciodo: Absolutely everything you are experiencing right now is 100% normal. I am two weeks post op right now for a hip revision, and even though I have been through this before, I too once again went through all the things you are describing. Reading the articles on this website that are listed on the early posts are crucial. They will help you keep your sanity. Give yourself permission to feel the way you feel. Those who say this is a breeze, well good for them; but, for a lot of us, it is a tougher time. I promise you that it WILL get better for you and your husband. My husband always reminds me when I have a melt down during this post op time, that it will get better. Hang in there. Better times are ahead. My husband was overwhelmed too when he first went through all of this with me before. He gradually got routines down that made it easier for him, and I give him lots of gratitude for being such a wonderful guy.
 

Layla

SENIOR FORUM ADVISOR
Senior Forum Advisor
Joined
Jun 26, 2017
Messages
23,340
Location
Minnesota
Gender
Female
Country
United States United States
Hello, Welcome to BoneSmart and recovery. Thanks for joining us! :)
I understand it may be difficult for you, but please try to relax and b-r-e-a-t-h-e. It’s going to be okay.

If you’re unable to sleep, you’re not alone. Some find it difficult to sleep early on, but it won’t last. You can talk to your OS, or Primary Care Physician if you’re really troubled and see if they can offer something short term to help you sleep. Or, you can do the same as many and just muddle through, it will improve. Try reading, watching tv, listening to calming music, or a relaxation tape or video. Many are available online. I took comfort and found it relaxing to surround myself with pillows. Lots of pillows, one here, one there, one everywhere. It helped me relax and drift off. I also used a Lounge Doctor as has been suggested above, but really couldn’t sleep with it. I only used mine while on the sofa, or bed watching tv.

Try not to burden hubby unless you really need him. You don’t want to burn him out adding more stress to the situation, so whatever you can safely do, yourself, do it. Save hubs for the things you can’t and shouldn’t be doing.

You mention not being able to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Well, you’re only 7 days post op. Please don’t look for daily progress, but instead reflect back weekly and you’ll realize you are healing and progressing. Pick a day to do this and avoid looking at your situation from day to day. You’ll only feel let down.

You don’t need to be “scared to death” you’re going to do something wrong. If you move slowly and carefully, you’ll be fine. The odds are in your favor that you'll do very well. The majority enjoy great success as you can see in reading threads of those weeks and months ahead of you. You’ll get there too!

You took a chance in hopes of a better life. No one goes into this surgery without fear, anxiety or reservation. No one wants to lose their natural hip. But yours was no longer serving you well. You can let doubts rule or you can change your outlook and look toward the brighter future awaiting you. Just think how good you’ll be feeling by the holidays. Focus on that. Don’t allow yourself to wallow in fear and negativity, you don’t need to.

Joint replacement surgery is one of the most prevalent surgeries performed worldwide. The outcomes of these surgeries have become excellent based on a number of techniques changing over the years. The implants are durable and long lasting, with longevity much greater than before, offering an increase in the likelihood you'll never have to experience this procedure again.

I‘d advise you plan your days with things to occupy your mind, squeezing out thoughts of things that could go wrong, or worrying about the temporary sleepless nights you’re experiencing. It may be wise to encourage your husband to get out of the house for a couple hours daily, if he’s not already. Have yourself set up and cut him loose for his mental health and yours. You’ll both feel better afterward. Following are a few ideas of what you could do to occupy yourself during the day, when you can’t sleep, or while hubby is out of the house -

Call, email, text friends or write a letter to someone.
Invite someone over for coffee, or lunch. Or to play cards, or a board game.
Put a jig saw puzzle together.
Get a crossword puzzle book.
Plan your next vacation
Look up recipes if you enjoy cooking or baking. Plan menus for meals you’ll prepare once you’re more mobile.
Buy an adult coloring book and color while listening to your favorite music.
Organize a photo album.
Read a book, page through magazines.
Sew, Crochet or Knit if any are your thing.
Play games online.
Watch YouTube videos on anything you enjoy, cooking, decorating, exercise (even though you can‘t join in yet)
Watch movies or TV.
Listen to relaxation music.
Sit outdoors in the sunshine and fresh air and take in the sounds of nature.
Chronicle your recovery.
Look for other members to encourage on BoneSmart
Give yourself a mani or a facial.
Check out our Social Room for hours of entertainment. Here‘s a link -

You can do this! We‘ll be here to help you every step of the way. Stop back whenever you need support, encouragement or have a question and we’ll do our best to help.

Sending a warm hug and wishes for comfort and a peaceful evening! :console2:
@Nchiodo
 

Layla

SENIOR FORUM ADVISOR
Senior Forum Advisor
Joined
Jun 26, 2017
Messages
23,340
Location
Minnesota
Gender
Female
Country
United States United States
Also, wanted to mention Magnesium for the restless legs.
Here is some information to read -

Magnesium supports the following:
Bone health
Healthy blood sugar
Cardiovascular health
Muscle relaxation and nerves
Promotes healthy sleep (falling asleep and staying asleep)


An article on Magnesium -
https://bonesmart.org/forum/threads/magnesium-is-a-star.20301/

I've also heard of drinking 4-6 oz of Q-Tonic before bed which is a water that contains quinine. Read the label as some of the waters do not contain quinine, but quinine flavoring instead.
 
OP
OP
Nchiodo

Nchiodo

junior member
Joined
Sep 6, 2020
Messages
29
Age
68
Gender
Female
Country
United States United States
OMG Layla thank you so much for the encouraging words and recommendations you brought tears to my eyes reading it. I am so lucky I found this forum. What a great support group for somebody like me going through this mystery of healing.
 

Schaargi

member
Joined
Jun 22, 2020
Messages
108
Gender
Female
Country
United States United States
Oh, it's so good you found this site! Evrryone here will help you through. I have had good days and rough ones, and someone is always here to help.

As for restless legs-- I have a sporadic case of restless leg syndrome but not enough to warrant medication. Right after my surgery, it flared up for about a week. I called the doctor's office and looked around for help and no help. I was desperate. Then, suddenly, it was gone. Just like that. Hope yours goes away soon!

I had some of the same questions with people saying that surgery is a breeze. I think that 1) People honestly forget how rough recovery was and 2) If surgeons told you how rough it was they would never be able to talk anyone into it!

You are in the right place!
 
Last edited:
OP
OP
Nchiodo

Nchiodo

junior member
Joined
Sep 6, 2020
Messages
29
Age
68
Gender
Female
Country
United States United States
Amen to that. My Dr said nothing about the recovery being difficult. Now I’m getting these groin spasms. Can’t get them to stop. Hi his whole recovery is nuts.
 

copsham

post-grad
Joined
Jan 7, 2015
Messages
1,665
Age
69
Location
UK
Gender
Female
Country
United Kingdom United Kingdom
Hi Nchiodo
I know you have only just found this forum but, as you are finding out, it is so supportive. I made real "forum friends" who meant a lot to me, when I was recovering and beyond. In time you will be getting a degree confident and giving little messages of support to others on the forum who are behind you in their experience! The time will come, eventually, when you do not think about hips for a whole day!

It must be a shock to you if your doctor did not discuss this recovery with you. I got most of my prep for the op from this forum thank goodness.


I love that what ever time of day of night there is always someone to respond to you, they are either not sleeping or on the other side of the world. All the best you will make it!
 

New

Active Antibacterial

BoneSmart #1 Best Blog

Staff online

Forum statistics

Threads
52,557
Messages
1,399,183
BoneSmarties
32,785
Latest member
TKR. 2019
Recent bookmarks
0

Top Bottom