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hophop--looking for support

Discussion in 'Knee Replacement Pre-Op Area' started by hophop, May 29, 2019.

  1. hophop

    hophop new member
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    Hi Everyone I'm scheduled for a total right knee replacement July 1st 2019!
    I just turned 57 and I have been in pain for the past 10 + years.

    These past 2 years have been really hard. Both of my knees are bone on bone. I have become bowlegged from them being so bad.

    I'm limited to where I can go. It seems the last 5 years I have not been anywhere but the store and visiting. I can't remember the last time I went anywhere that required walking.

    My Doctor is doing the right knee July 1st and my left knee before December.

    I have a 26 year old son who is Autistic and I care for him, so even if my Doctor would do them at the same time ( which he won't) that would not be an option for me.

    To say I'm scared is a understatement. I'm petrified but I'm more scared not to get them done because my quality of life stinks right now.
    I'm trying to have a positive attitude but Depression has set in.

    I'm trying to do what I can to build myself up.
    I don't have much of a support system. My husband is on the road most of the time but will be home for the first week and my daughter will be here for a couple days but will have to return home for work. She lives 2 hours away.

    I found this site and decided to try it. I'm hoping to find some support here people who understand, excited for a new beginning but scared of the road ahead.
     
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  2. bottomshollow

    bottomshollow ADMINISTRATOR Administrator

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    moved 12.jpg @hophop, from the surgery list thread into a thread of your own where you and your questions and concerns will receive the attention they deserve. I will add you to the July surgery list.

    We are here to help in any way we can: answering questions and concerns; supporting and encouraging you from start to finish; giving you a place to vent, whine, complain if you need to; sharing experiences with one another; and having fun and some laughs along the way.

    Take care and keep us posted. We care.
     
  3. Benay

    Benay senior

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    This site will be an incredible help for you as it has been for me both before and after surgery. You're not alone.
     
  4. hophop

    hophop new member
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    Thank you bottomshollow!!

    I'm in the process of getting my home ready and my mind mentally ready. I'm trying to focus on the end result. I have started all the exercises they have given me. We decided to do the right knee first. My Doctor said both were as bad as the other so since I drive etc. with my right knee I thought I would do that one first.

    Since I made that decision my left one seems to be hurting worse. I think it's just my mind lol
     
  5. Bionic

    Bionic post-grad

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    @hophop
    This is a tough op but you have definitely made the right decision in having it done. My recovery seems slower than a lot on here but in the last couple of weeks I really feel as if I am getting somewhere and feeling more my normal self. To be honest with 2 hip ops last year and the knee this year I'm not sure what normal is any more but at least I can now walk without pain, if still a bit wobbly.
    Its good that your husband and then your daughter will be home for a bit to help you and your son. During that time you will have got used to your new knee and know what your capabilities are for when they aren't around as much.
    July isn't far away and then that awful OA pain will be gone :)
     
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  6. BCSAnna

    BCSAnna member

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    @hophop :welome:

    As julieskan said, "You're not alone"...we are all in the same boat together!:boohoo:

    Like you, I have also been "putting up with" a bad right knee for the past ten years which, in the process, has robbed me of my mobility and a decent quality of life for far too long. I started having mild pain in my left knee last fall and thought I had years to go before it got as bad as my right knee. You can imagine my shock when my OS took the first x-ray of that knee last month and I learned that I am stage 4, bone on bone, in that knee also!:thud:

    Back in 2014, when I first consulted with my OS, he said to me at that time, "Today, your natural knee is as good as it is ever going to be." He then suggested that we try a conservative approach initially, which did work for awhile; however, he also told me, "You, and you alone, will know when you are ready to have your knee joint replaced." He was right on all counts. I am ready! It is time to get those new knees and reclaim a decent quality of life!:yes!: I think that you are right there with me hophop.:friends:

    As for being scared, that is perfectly natural when facing any major surgery. Just keep up the faith that your surgery will be a success and you will eventually achieve that improved mobility and quality of life that you now desire.

    I wish you the very best on your journey and will see you over on the recovery side after our respective surgeries Take care.

    Anna:flwrysmile:
     
  7. Cynof4

    Cynof4 member

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    @hophop ,

    You will find lots of support here! July 1st will be here before you know it! While I am not looking forward to the pain of surgery and the work of recovery I am looking forward to a knee that functions well and allows me to enjoy an active life style once again.
    I understand the fear and anxiety. Do not be afraid. You are making a decision that will help you continue to support those that you love and improve your quality of life. You have so much to look forward to on the other side!

    Good luck on your journey! We will be looking to see you in recovery!
    ~Cynthia
     
  8. Celle

    Celle FORUM ADVISOR Forum Advisor

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    Hello @hophop - and :welome:

    We will help you through this.

    You have time to make preparation, so that your life is easier after your surgery.
    The most important thing is to ask for help now, because your family needs to know that you will need support for more than a couple of weeks. It will be about 4-6 weeks before you can drive, so you'll need to think about transport for appointment, PT etc.

    Complete recovery from a knee replacement can take as long as a full year, although you will be able to do most things by about 3 months. It's not the sort of surgery that you can spring back from in about 6 weeks.

    It might help to have your family read these articles:
    The Activity Progression Chart
    The Chart of TKR Recovery
    The BoneSmart Philosophy of Sensible Post-Op Therapy
    Lose the Work Ethic
    TKR surgery - WARNING: real life photos

    And this one is for you:
    Nurturing mother: how to let go and accept help

    You will have very little energy for quite a long time after surgery, because most of your energy will be directed towards healing your knee: Energy drain for TKRs


    Here is some more pre-op information:
    Longevity of implants and revisions: How long will my new joint last?

    If you are at the stage where you are planning to have surgery but are looking for information so you can be better prepared for what is to come, take a look at these links:
    Recovery Aids: A comprehensive list for hospital and home
    Recliner Chairs: Things you need to know if buying one for your recovery
    Pre-Op Interviews: What's involved?

    Regardless of where you are in the process, the website and app My Knee Guide can help you stay organized and informed. The free service keeps all the information pertaining to your surgery and recovery in one place on your smartphone. It is intended to be a personal support tool for the entire process.

    And if you want to picture what your life might be like with a replaced knee, take a look at the posts and threads from other BoneSmarties provided in this link:
    Stories of amazing knee recoveries
     
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  9. Bob T

    Bob T new member

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    I'm literally a day behind you! My surgery is scheduled for July 2nd. I can completely understand your fears and apprehension. I go through times where I think..."I don't need this, it's not THAT bad". Well, that's just simply not the truth lol. Right when I think that something will remind me quickly just how wrong I am. Like a few weeks ago when I went to step around one of my dogs and my knee said "nope" and I nearly fell through the window of my patio door lol. Or this past Sunday night where I got, oh, ten minutes sleep all night lol. This site has been a really nice source of information and everyone here is great. I'm counting on this being a journey, not a race. I know you'll have a great outcome and get back to a normal life!

    Bob
     
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  10. winemama

    winemama member

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    We r all here with you, you have time to prepare, ask for help, if you can afford it have someone came clean your house 2-3 times while you are recovering, if anyone asks , ask them to cook you a meal you can freeze, having 2 weeks of food prepared is heaven. Cook those after everyone leaves. Ask for help.
     
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  11. hophop

    hophop new member
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    This month is flying by. I got my post surgery blood work, EKG and all done, I'm now just trying to get everything ready. My nerves are on edge to say the least. Just glad I have people that understand.
     
  12. lovetocookandsew

    lovetocookandsew FORUM ADVISOR Forum Advisor

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    I agree with the advice you've already been given so won't duplicate it. We are here for you when you need support, advice, need to whine and vent, and so on. Everyone here has been, or currently is, where you are and understands, so don't hesitate to ask questions or whine as needed. One thing I will mention is I made enough food ahead of my surgery to last, as I recall, about 6-8 weeks. It was a blessing not to have to depend on a husband who doesn't cook trying to cook-I let him take care of me instead, as he was great at that, and I took care of our meals for weeks. As fast food and pre-made store meals don't do it for me, making my own meals ahead was the answer. I put a thread in the social room on pre-surgery meal prep and tips; it's on the second page, if that kind of thing interests you. Good luck on your surgery, keep us posted and we'll soon see you on the other side!
     
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  13. luvcats

    luvcats junior member

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    Greetings@hophop! We're surgery buddies! I am also looking forward to getting my life back, and the first step is surgery on the 1st. I did my pre-op blood work yesterday too. Only a few more hoops to jump through.

    I'm sorry you're so stressed about it. The operation doesn't really scare me, I'm more apprehensive about the healing process. Both knees are a mess and relying on one more than I already do is going to be a challenge.

    One thing a friend recommended to me last week to help me stay in the moment and not fret about the future, is coloring! I have some grown up oriented coloring books and pencils and I put on some happy music or a show I've already seen and go to town with the colors. It's really helping.
     
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  14. Jaycey

    Jaycey SUPER MODERATOR Moderator

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    Of course they are. We have all been in this space - even those of us who have had more than one replacement. No one likes to face surgery. But keep your eye on the prize. A life without that nagging pain.

    You are not alone - lots of BoneSmart members will see you through this.
     
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  15. hophop

    hophop new member
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    Batspit, lovetocookandsew, and Jaycee, Thanks!! I have calmed down a bit. I just had my pre-surgery therapy, and they said my range of motion is awesome. So that sure put a smile on my face.

    Sounded good to hear something positive. I think I'm going to start doing some food prep next week, so I definitely will check out the food prep page. I will need some ideas.

    I have been doing my exercises: and although none of us are looking forward to surgery, I can't wait to walk straight.

    My Doctor thinks we will do my left TKR in October or the 1st of November, so 2 new knees before the new year. I feel so excited to start a new life.
     
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  16. hophop

    hophop new member
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    Well July 1st is just coming to fast! My nerves have settled a bit I'm all done with all the pre op stuff besides my final visit with my surgeon.

    I have been trying to get my house ready and I think I'm going to pre freeze some meals ahead of time.
    I have a 27 year old son who has Autism, so it's a little much because he will be here also and I'm the one who does most of the care.
    I'm so funny about keeping him shaved and stuff.
    My husband is like "He will be fine being shaved once or twice a week." OMG!!!

    My husband is a over the road truck driver who is gone all week, home on weekends, but is taking the first week off to take care of me.
    It is going to be strange having him home and it will really be a transition for our son who with his Autism is so OCD about his routine. Lord help me do this!!

    I'm not getting much help from anyone else. Kids are doing their own family stuff. My daughter is coming the night before my surgery and staying the night with me in the hospital, then making sure I'm comfortable at home before she heads home, which is 2 hours away.

    I guess I'm feeling a little self pity, a little disappointed, but reading other posts on here it helps me realize it's part of this process.

    I find it hard to get a lot done at once. I can do a little cleaning and preparing before my knees tell me no more!!

    I'm just thankful I have a good group of people to vent to and the knowledge that all my feelings are part of it.

    I'm going to be getting all my stuff - Walker, toilet riser, grabber etc - together this coming week. It's all in my garage waiting on me.

    I tried to get this Surgery in 2017 and when they did my blood tests and my pre Surgery medical stuff I found out I was a diabetic, but my Sugar is 7.1 and it's a all go for July 1st.
    Anyone who is getting their knee done close to mine let me know would like to have a group lol
     
  17. hophop

    hophop new member
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    Oh and I do go on and on talking non stop lol
     
  18. Celle

    Celle FORUM ADVISOR Forum Advisor

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    Yes, you certainly did that time. I was quite out of breath by the time I'd read your post.

    I've edited your post, to add paragraphs and periods.
    When you write a big chunk of text as you did, it's very hard for other people to read and most people don't even try.
    So please, in future, can you try to make it easier for us to read your posts? Thank you. :flwrysmile:

    We actually have a group, especially for that purpose and your name is already there -
    2019 July Sparklers - Are you having knee surgery in July?
    You can look at the list there and see who is having surgery the same month as you.
    The group is for you to note who will be your recovery buddies and look out for their posts. You don't talk to each other in the July Sparklers group, but you can post on their threads, introduce yourself, and follow each others' progress.
     
  19. luvcats

    luvcats junior member

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    Hey @hophop! We are surgery twins. I'm on July 1 right with you, and my other knee is scheduled for September 4!
    What kinds of meals are you prepping? It's a hard thing to plan, since I never know what I'm going to want, or if I'll have an appetite. I have some comfort meals in in the freezer, but I'm also stocking up on protein shakes that I like. I think the weekend before I'm going to prep some hard boiled eggs. That will give me some variety depending on whether or not I have an appetite.

    I'm very sorry you don't have a good support system to help you through this. I'm extremely fortunate that my husband is able to telecommute, so he's going to be home with me. But we don't have anyone else here who can support us. When my husband had his quadrupal bypass surgery I thought I was going to lose my mind caring for him and keeping everything else going.

    I have this exact problem. I have a chair in my kitchen next to the stove so I can sit while cooking. I also have a little folding table to use when I can't stand at the counter any more. I can't wait to be done with that!!!

    I know recovery can be a long haul, but I'm really, really looking forward to the new, upgraded me in 2020!!! I know you are too.
     
  20. hophop

    hophop new member
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    Luvcats... Thank You or All your encouraging words!! I'm so nervous right now BUT I'm so excited about the new me that will be here in 2020 My Doctor hasn't scheduled my left total knee replacement yet, He has just said it will be around 3 to 4 months after my right knee. Just as long as it is before the end of the year that way, I wont have to pay another 5,000 deductible. It's sad that they want it up front before my Surgery but Thank God We had a little in savings and God supplied it. I'm still working on things in my house. I hope to have it cleaned and organized so that things are there and easy to find. I'm thinking of prepping Lasagna,Spaghetti, Meatloaf, noodles, and of course frozen fast meals I have made so many lists lol I'm suppose to be at the Hospital at 5:15 AM on July 1st so I think I'm probably one of his first surgeries that day and I will get to come home the following day, I dont like being away from home and I have never liked Hospitals. Are you getting nervous? It helps knowing you and I are doing it the same day and I hope we can keep in touch before during and after!!
     

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