Hi everyone. I am on day 22 after my first TKR, and I have been alone since day 6, so I thought I’d add to this useful thread. I’ve read through it, so I hope I won’t be too repetitive, though sometimes it’s useful to hear the same things a few times! It’s also worth adding that I will be having my other knee replaced in a few weeks, and have other health issues, so I was perhaps less able than many people are.
The first thing I’d say is that I really didn’t want to be on my own at first. I am used to my independence and privacy, but I felt very vulnerable, and wanted my son to stay longer than the two nights he did stay. I was very sorry for myself when he left. Rationally, I knew it was likely that I could cope, but emotionally I wanted to be cared for. Everyone will be different, but I think that’s worth bearing in mind when you plan.
I will say, though, that once I’d got my head round it, I think there are advantages to being on your own… It’s hard work and tiring recovering from surgery, and if you’re on your own, you can do it exactly at your own pace, sleeping as much as you need to, and doing your exercises and eating and relaxing and even crying, exactly when you’re ready. I can see it could be really hard sometimes to have to fit around other people during recovery - even just having to talk to other people sometimes, when you really don’t feel like it !
I found it very difficult to work out what I needed at first, often until after I was already too exhausted to get it. After a few days, I worked out that the solution to this was to have a stock of the same basic things upstairs by my bed and downstairs by my chair: water (LOTS of it), phone, fruit, other snacks, all my meds, entertainment, something to write on, tissues, grabber, and of course ice packs.
Ice packs were a big issue in the early days. My freezer is downstairs, but I was upstairs in bed a lot, and simply didn’t always have the energy to get to the ice when I needed it. I managed to borrow a mini fridge so I could keep ice upstairs, which made a huge difference. I also have a little travel kettle and teabags in my bedroom, and carried milk upstairs with me each evening, so I could have a cup of tea first thing in the morning, when I most wanted it.
I didn’t use the commode that arrived on day 9. It would have been a useful a few days before that, but by then, being forced to get up and move around when I needed the loo was even more useful. Also, I haven’t been able to work out how I could empty it by myself…!
While we are on the subject of toileting, I want to mention (though it’s a bit embarrassing) that I have had a number of accidents since my surgery. My sons and friends have helped me a lot with my washing and housework, but I really haven’t wanted them to have to deal with this! I am therefore using incontinence pads, for now at least. I am also going against established advice about trip hazards, because I leave a bath mat on my bathroom floor - which I navigate carefully - because it is the easiest way I have found to clean up any floor spills: squirt some anti-bac cleaner, put my weight on my operated leg, and use the other one to move the mat about, wash it…
I have a dog and she needs letting out, so I had no choice but to get up and go downstairs, but it is also very good for me to have a change of scene, and a reason to get up regularly. My sons and friends are walking her for me a few times a week, but other than that she is fine just wandering around the garden by herself. If she was younger, I would probably have had to think more carefully about dog care.
Getting up and coming downstairs every day has been very important for me, from a mental health perspective as much as a physical one.
My house is small, and my kitchen is only a few metres from my sitting room, but sometimes even that has felt too far. And carrying food and hot drinks when you’re using a walking frame or crutches is impossible/tricky and can be risky. My son moved my microwave into my sitting room, and set it up with a supply of cutlery and crockery, so I could feed myself more easily.
As others have said, my appetite has reduced since surgery, and the pre-cooked food and ready meals in the freezer seem very unappetising. My typical diet has been fruit and toast for breakfast, an avocado with cottage cheese or some reheated soup partway through the day, and a jacket potato with salad in the evening. (Plus snacks, of course - I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to those, although I haven’t eaten as many as I might have expected!) Some days, I simply haven’t had enough energy to feed myself in the evening, and I’ve been grateful to family and friends who have cooked for me some evenings.
I’ve got a few large 1.5 L water bottles, which I ask anyone who comes to fill up for me, so I can keep drinking plenty of water. I have only been able to carry them myself the last week or so.
On day 15, I managed to get hold of a secondhand electric recliner, and while it’s true you don’t absolutely need one of these (and I hadn’t intended to get one), there’s no doubt it has made my recovery much more comfortable and pleasant. I think fending for yourself uses up a lot of energy, and having somewhere comfortable to rest, other than bed, makes a big difference.
Other people have mentioned online shopping, getting prescriptions delivered from a pharmacy, etc. I think these things have probably become much easier to arrange since the pandemic. I have used Amazon Prime as much as grocery shopping, for pads and wipes and extra pillows and extra ice packs, and much more.
Notably, I haven’t had any face-to-face appointments since surgery, though I have had (or will have) phone appointments with my GP (twice), physiotherapist and surgeon, and more informal consultations with the pharmacist and hospital ward.
It is useful to clarify what will happen with your dressing before you leave hospital. There seem to be a lot of different arrangements, but in my case, I had dissolvable sutures, and a dressing I was instructed to take off myself on day 10. I think district nurses will do home visits to help with this if necessary, but actually for me, it was very easy.
It’s worth knowing (and I don’t think anyone has yet mentioned) that if you’re in England under NHS care, and you live alone and have needs you can’t meet by yourself, then you may be able to get NHS reablement care at home for about six weeks, rather than having to go from hospital to a rehab unit. This is different from the social care that is assessed and provided by your local authority, and is specifically intended to help people who have had medical treatment become independent again. It is free, whatever your income. The OT in hospital will refer you if they agree you need this.
Finally, I want to mention POCKETS! Pyjamas don’t have them, and a lot of women’s clothes don’t have them, but I have found them pretty much essential for carrying my phone and other little items around, when I’m using my hands for the walking aids. If you’re on your own, you can’t just say to someone else, “Oo, could you carry that for me please?”!
This is a much longer post than I planned! I hope it’s useful to somebody. Good luck and best wishes to those people who still have their ‘home alone’ recoveries to come.