helping someone recover

[kneereplacementdaughter]

My mom had knee replacement surgery 4 weeks ago (11/3) and is having such a difficult time with her recovery. She is working so very hard, but is not seeing much improvement and the pain seems to be getting worse. She is very discouraged because of her hard work. She has been going to outpatient therapy 3 times a week and the therapist mentioned that she thinks my mom may have to get a manipulation done on her knee because she is not progressing as much as they would like (she can bend it about 70 degrees - which is about where she was 2 weeks ago). It is so frustrating for my mom because she really is working very hard and is dealing with a lot of pain to see no improvement. My mom is also dealing with depression and anxiety because of this, which can be such a hard cycle to break out of, especially when she is not seeing a lot of hope for getting better.

I was online this morning looking for more information for her about what a knee manipulation involves when I found this forum. It seems like such an encouraging place. My question for all of you - is what can I and my dad do to help her recover? My dad is with her pretty much full time and I think he's doing a great job - he's completely out of his comfort zone with this I think, but he is really doing everything he knows to help. I'm about an hour away and working full time. I've been going out to visit about once or twice a week, but I probably won't get to see her for another week and a half. I do talk to her every day (when she's up to talking) and would like to know the best way to encourage her.

I definitely plan on directing her to this forum, hoping she will sign up and be able to get some support from all of you. Any suggestions you have for my dad and I will be greatly appreciated to!

Thank you!!

 

[calling_all_angels]

TKRDaughter,
Welcome, It does sound like your Mom will need a MUA (manipulation) What has her OS said about her knee? What was her Rom before surgery? I know these are a lot of question but it is with questions everyone will be able to help you help your Mom.
When Jo and Jamie come on they will some in put to help.

 

[kneereplacementdaughter]

Thanks so much! She has only seen her OS once I believe since surgery, that was two weeks after and he said she was doing ok. Her next appointment is not until the 14th, but she called him yesterday and left a message with his staff. The therapist said she was planning on calling the OS too. I'm hoping my mom can get in sooner.

I'm not sure of her ROM before surgery. I'll ask her, but I am hoping she will want to get on this forum herself and post. I think the best support for her will come from others who have been through or are going through this experience.

 

[hopeful788]

Hi Kneereplacementdaughter, I had my LTKR Nov.16th. My first question would be, how's the swelling? If the knee is blown up like a balloon, ROM becomes very difficult. If there is a lot of swelling, Ice, Ice, Ice, elevate, more Ice, and elevate, more Ice and more Ice. I had a problem with swelling, which now seems to be under control, and over doing it can cause more swelling. I had to learn that fine line between exercising correctly and over doing it. I have found recovery to be extremely difficult and lonely and rewarding. If your mother needs someone to talk to, I would be glad to. I know when I get down on the process it helps nothing. Your mother should surf this site for the wisdom and experience of the people who went before her. Good Luck Bob

 

[Max Wallace]

4 weeks is still very early if there is lots of swelling the knee will not bend. Ice , Elevate and relax. Your mother may be overdoing it a bit and actually slowing down the healing process. The healing and progress most often comes in waves one day pain and swelling low rom and the next swelling goes away and rom improves. Sometime it goes back and forth with good days and bad. It is very early in her recovery I would not do anything drastic(MANIPULATION!!!??). If she thinks the progress is slow see the DR. Get her to read this site it will give her lots of support and info.

 

[Josephine]

Hello, krd! Welcome to BoneSmart. I think you mother has a wonderful daughter to care so much.

First thing, can you tell me what pain meds she is taking, how much and how often? Is she spending time icing and elevating enough? How much time is she spending doing exercises and what kind?

 

[Texas]

Hi and welcome.......i had a manipulation its wasn't bad for me i was sore for a few days ........the first surgery i was at 68 and like you said i tried and tired harder............it just didnt work tell her its not her fault............if the Dr needs to do one wow did i feel better ...i could bend again and didnt have to struggle ........and went on with my pt......i wish her the best..........and terrific you care so much to post its hard taking care of a TKR patient its was a lil hard on my hubby.......good luck to you both.......

 

[cindy88fan]

Please convince your parents into joining here. They both will get so much help here. We are one big family and support each other in everything. Hope they join soon! Best wishes! And may I say you sound like a wonderful daughter. Your parents are very lucky to have such a caring daughter.

 

[Judles]

Welcome KRDaughter! Mom's recovery will be so much easier with your family support! We're here for you!!! :thmb:

 

[FrogFeathers]

If she needs the manipulation, definitely reassure her it isn't her fault! I was loads better after mine (which happened around five-ish weeks after my surgery).

When she needs to cry, let her cry. My husband would get so upset and flustered when I'd lose my cool that he would yell at me (granted, he's disabled himself and not in any pain from it, so he didn't understand). After my first outpatient PT appointment, he yelled at me in the car on the way home. I sat there, mouth agape and finally sobbed: "Why are you yelling at ME?" (for the record, he's had a stroke and he doesn't deal with emotional stress properly. It wasn't the best day for either of us).

I hope your mom joins the board. I wish I'd have found this place sooner than I did. They're good folks here.
:thmb:

 

[Sylvia]

I can feel your mother's pain, believe me. At 4 weeks I felt like I was pushing myself to the limit and many of my successes were very small. I felt very unsuccessful and spent a great deal of time crying. My husband felt very badly ,but really could do nothing other than give me sympathy, which he did by the gallons. Tell your mom she is not alone in this, and most of us who have had this surgery have felt exactly like she does. I am now 4 months post-op, and while I am not back to 100%, I am getting there. There really is a light at the end of the tunnel, and kudos to you for being such a thoughtful, caring daughter. To your mom I say...when you feel like crying....cry, take a pain pill, ice your knee, and know that things are going to get better.

 

[Jamie]

Hi, Kneereplacementdaughter....welcome to the BoneSmart family. Try really hard to get your parents to some on the forum to read and post themselves. It will really help BOTH of them to know they are not alone in their feelings and concerns.

Recovery from knee replacement surgery can be tough. A lot depends on the condition your mom was in before surgery. But she sounds like she's doing a good job hanging in there. It would be good to know the answers to the questions our forum nurse, Jo, has asked. The keys to recovery are a proper balance of pain management and exercise. Sometimes a manipulation is required, but it can really give that jump start many folks need to get range of motion back.

So, for now....welcome....and see about answering Jo's questions. Then we can provide some additional suggestions and information for you.

 

[kneereplacementdaughter]

Thanks so much for the welcome, what an encouraging place to find. I have told my mom about the site and I hope she joins. I think there's some questions and concerns she has that only those who have been through what she's going through can answer. I know she will probably be reassured that others of you have experienced similar situations and have come through it well!

She actually just called me to tell me about her physical therapy appt this morning - where she improved from 70 (on wednesday) to 80 today! And with less pain than she had when she got to the 70! Obviously, she's encouraged to see such a big improvement! She talked to her OS's office yesterday and he did not want to see her yet, but offered some advice about how to take the pain meds in conjunction with her pt (which she did today).

As for Jo's questions, I don't have all the information, but I'm hoping my mom herself will be on at some point to answer! I do know she's icing and elevating a lot - she's had to do that a lot in the past for knee/back pain, so I think she's on top of that part of it.

Thank you again for the encouragement and suggestions! I know she will make it through - and hopefully having an outlet like this will help make it a little easier.

KRdaughter (if only I knew all these acronymns yesterday - I could have made my username much shorter!)

 

[beachbum]

Wow, from 70 to 80, that's great! I know that gives her a much needed mental boost!
Lucky her, to have you there to help her out.

 

[Josephine]

Amen to that, bb! "one small step for mom, one giant leap .... '

oh no, I've strayed into the threepenny opera again!