I have a surgery date (April 9th) for a Right Hemiarthroplasty posterior revision. I am also the only patient of my new Ortho to be fully cleared for the cancellation list of my particular surgery but because he wants 3 hours for my of instead of a usual 2, I need two patients to fall through on the same day. I've had a very long road to this following leg & hip fractures in 2014 just 4 months apart. My hip replacement didn't include replacing the socket which I've never really understood but have recently been told it was likely due to how it fractured. In hindsight, I really question why on earth I was still in a full leg cast and only graduating to 50% weight bearing for my Tibia Plateau fracture 20 weeks after the fact! My recovery over almost 5 years has been disappointing to say the least. I came out of the hip surgery still in a full leg cast for my leg fracture but a new one with a knee hinge. Because I had the hip fall while travelling, I think my recovery lacked any consistent ortho follow-up and or advice. I returned to my knee ortho but he didn't seem to like doing follow-up about the hip? I am sure the whole knee thing had a big part to play in my recovery because I couldn't get out for a walk and I still have a good gait or stride. Eventually I got walking again with the aide of floatation devices in a pool. However, I still limp very badly, mostly from hip pain but I have scar tissue in the knee as well. I have to plan my days very carefully. I can do a grocery shop on foot in a smaller store if I get a disabled parking spot but cannot cook a full meal the same day. I can manage preparing a nice meal over the course of the day as long as I don't also go across the road to the mailbox, etc., etc. I have tried a few times to move back to the master bedroom on the upper floor but find the toll the stairs take on me limit the rest of my life too much. Sleeping around the pain is close to a nightmare though I do assume some of that difficulty is also related to my rheumatoid and osteo aches & pains on top of my knee locking up in the night. My balance is still kooky so I have a fear of falling. I have taken my 7 grandchildren to the park but have only been able to observe them for 5 years instead of climbing all over the equipment with them like I used to. The youngest one I have never been able to walk in his buggy more than 2 blocks. I have an 8th grandchild due in March and I am determined to take this one for a really nice long walk in it's pram!!! I should be excited to finally have some hope for a better future and one that will involve a whole lot less pain right? I am so excited, maybe a little cautiously optimistic (might not be a fast rehab because of some serious muscle atrophy and might not be 100% I am told). However, I feel like I'm on a total roller coaster. I'm a nervous wreck about the surgery & anesthetic (which is normal for me) despite just having had a full check of my heart & health, great results from a IV stress tests, good blood work, etc. I get so afraid I won't wake up. I am scared to death of being aware of anything during surgery. I'm terrified of another thrombosis (had 3 so far and one a PE). My Aunt died of a PE. I'm worried about my hubby not coping with me, house, his work and how he stresses around unwell people because our children all live far away. I already feel embarrassed about my housekeeping over the last 5 years and have visions of drowning in the dust until I can either do it right or save pennies for house help I am worried about getting to the toilet on time post-op because I think I remember that being really hard for a while last time. I am even stressing about how I will able to bend over to let my short legged dog out for a pee once hubby goes back to work. A biggy too is the surgeon says he only keeps his patients in 24 hours!!! That sounds way too soon to be home to me. After the 1st replacement I had to check myself out to get to my daughter's wedding on day 4. Had I not had the wedding, they wanted me to transfer to a rehab center and to be honest, I was hoping they might look at a rehab this time to get me on a good recovery track. I am so up & down with all these worries and my overwhelming excitement, I can hardly keep track of myself!! Thanks for giving me the space to vent all these feelings, a good 1st step in getting them out, sorting and starting to process them. Bonesmart was my lifeline on my 1st experience on so many levels.